Chapter 3

The Lie Ends

 

 

“Kai…”

 

Kyungsoo called out and there’s a sleepy hum of a response right next to his ear. Kai was holding him by the waist and both of them were still in bed, too lazy to get up on a Sunday morning.

 

“How come Jongin never visits us anymore? Is he still not back from his vacation?” Kyungsoo asked and he felt Kai instantly stiffen.

 

“Uhm…well he told me, he’s enjoying his stay there so he might be staying there longer…”

 

LIES…Kyungsoo knew that it was all a lie because the guy right next to him was Jongin himself and Kai died and was the one who gave him his corneas. He knows it…

 

…Kyungsoo knew it all along.

 

He had been noticing that something was off with ‘Kai’ since he woke up from his surgery and Kyungsoo’s instinct were telling him that he was not Kai… but if he was not Kai then where is the real Kai and why is Jongin pretending to be his twin brother.

 

It was two weeks after his surgery that Kyungsoo found out the truth. He woke up in the middle of the night and noticed the empty space beside him where Kai should be in deep sleep by now. Finding the situation odd, since Kai rarely gets out of bed in the middle of the night… Kyungsoo decided to go and check on his boyfriend.

 

Getting out of his room, Kyungsoo noticed that his bestfriend seemed to be out of bed too, he heads for the kitchen next but the lights were turned off…indicating that no one was there. As Kyungsoo walked towards the living room, he finally heard Kai’s voice, he was about to call the other out but then he saw that his boyfriend and bestfriend seemed to be in a deep conversation. The two were on the balcony and since living room was dark, not one of them noticed Kyungsoo.

 

“I’m going to the camp tomorrow; they want a statement from me about what happened. I hope you can stay with Kyungsoo until I get back…”

 

“Yeah, no problem with that… I don’t have anything to do tomorrow anyways. But what will you tell Kyungsoo if he asks where you’re going?”

 

“I’ll just tell him that I’m going to the camp for something, I’m just gonna leave the specific reason why...” Jongin sighed, he hated lying to Kyungsoo but now was not the right time for Kyungsoo to deal with his brother’s death.

 

Baekhyun looked at him in sympathy, patting the other’s shoulder gently. “I will be always be grateful to you and your brother. Kai gave Kyungsoo a chance to see again and you… I know you’re having a hard time dealing with your brother’s death but here you are still taking care of Kyungsoo. Thank you Jongin…thank you so much.”

 

“There is nothing to thank me for Baek, Kyungsoo is also my friend and I’m pretty sure that this is what Kai wanted.” There was a bittersweet smile on Jongin’s face as his mind goes back to the memory of his brother.

 

Kyungsoo took a shaky step back, his hand flying to his lips to muffle any sound from him. He honestly wanted to scream…Baekhyun and Jongin was lying to him, Kai was the one who gave him corneas and Jongin was now pretending to be his dead brother. His tears pooled in as Baekhyun and Jongin continued talking. Kyungsoo couldn’t take it anymore but he also doesn’t know why he didn’t reveal himself to the two and end the lies right then and there…instead he ran back to his room and buried his face in his pillow, silently crying to himself.

 

Yes he could see now but he can never see Kai ever again.

 

And now it’s been eleven months after that and they were all still pretending… Jongin pretending to be Kai and Kyungsoo pretending that he doesn’t know the truth maybe because he doesn’t want to deal with the truth just yet…

 

…or maybe because in those months Kyungsoo found himself falling for Jongin and he doesn’t know if it was right to feel that way… to fall so hard so fast with his dead boyfriend’s twin brother.

 

Who would have known that it was also what Jongin was going through, in those months that he was pretending to be his brother, he found himself falling for his brother’s boyfriend. It sounded so wrong but it felt so right.

 

It was a relationship full of doubt and pretending.

 

Kyungsoo thought that Jongin’s love was out of pity. While Jongin thought that Kyungsoo’s affection was because he was doing a good job at pretending to be Kai. The two will never know what the other genuinely feels until they don’t stop pretending and face the truth.

 

 

Kyungsoo was busy with the order for the holidays and Baekhyun took advantage of it. He ran to their apartment where Jongin would surely be freshly woken up. He badly needed to have a talk with Jongin alone, it’s been eleven months but the Kyungsoo still doesn’t know the truth.

 

When he arrived at the apartment, Jongin was eating lunch in front of the television.

 

“Hey, Baek… Is there something wrong at the café? Where is Soo?” Jongin turned his attention to him with a slight worry on his face.

 

“I sneaked out; Kyungsoo’s busy baking at the café.” Baekhyun sat on the couch opposite Jongin. “We need to talk Jongin…”

 

“Ok…about what?” Jongin asked but based on the seriousness of Baekhyun, he already have a hint on what the topic would be.

 

“Kyungsoo…”Baekhyun sighed. “It’s been eleven months; you told me that you’ll tell him sooner, Jongin.”

 

“What good would it do Baek? He’ll just suffer if he finds out that Kai died…that Kai was the one who gave him his new corneas.”

 

“You can’t keep lying to him! It will just hurt him more once he finds out the truth!”

 

“But…” Jongin sighed in defeat and looked at Kyungsoo’s bestfriend helplessly.

 

“Don’t tell me, you no longer have plans on telling Soo the truth?”

 

“Baek…” Jongin raked his hair in frustration. “I don’t want to lose him…”

 

“Oh my God!” Baekhyun shrieked once he realized what Jongin’s words meant. “You’ve fallen for him too…”

 

“Baek… I…” Jongin lifted his head and met Baekhyun’s face and there was nothing but guilt in his eyes.

 

“Jongin! He’s your brother’s boyfriend!!!”

 

“Do you think I forgotten about that? Do you think that I don’t know that he’s only looking at me like that was only because he thinks I’m Kai. I don’t want to fall but I did and it scares me that I couldn’t stop myself from falling further. I want to tell him the truth, trust me Baek I really do. I want him to know what Kai did for him but at the same time I’m afraid of losing Kyungsoo because I know that once the truth is out then everything between us will just be over like that…”

 

“Everything between you and Kyungsoo was just a lie, Jongin! You were just pretending to be Kai. Dammit Jongin! Why do you have to make the situation more complicated that it already is?” Baekhyun was about to rant more but his phone rang and it was Kyungsoo calling.

 

“Hey Soo…”

“Where are you Baek?”

“I just went out for a bit…”

“Ok, but can you come back…the customers are starting to pile up. I need you here.”

“Of course… I’ll be on my way now…”

 

“I need to go, Soo needs me back at the café…” Baekhyun stood up and was about to head for the door when Jongin stopped him.

 

“Do you think Kyungsoo could forgive me for lying to him?”

 

“I don’t know Jongin but one thing is for sure, we can’t keep lying to him forever…”

 

Once Baekhyun left the apartment, Jongin sat back dejectedly on the couch. Baekhyun was right; they can’t hide the truth away from Kyungsoo forever

 

 

It was the night before Kai’s death anniversary and Jongin already made up his mind that he’ll tell Kyungsoo the truth tomorrow.

 

The bathroom door opened and Kyungsoo came out freshly showered, Jongin smiled, he spread his arms and sweetly called his boyfriend for a hug. Kyungsoo happily ran to his arms and Jongin quickly buried his face on his boyfriend’s neck.

 

His boyfriend… Jongin wanted to laugh at his situation… he calls Kyungsoo ‘his boyfriend’ when Kyungsoo was never his to begin with. Tonight, Jongin was prepared to do one last selfish act before he loses ‘his’ everything.

 

Jongin pulled Kyungsoo closer by the waist and pressed his lips gently on Kyungsoo’s heart shaped lips. For the past months that Jongin had been pretending to be his brother Kai, he and Kyungsoo never gone past the innocent kisses and tight hugs. Neither of them had the courage to go further…for Jongin it was out of respect to his brother… for Kyungsoo it was because he was afraid to scare Jongin away. Every day they would lay in bed, legs tangled underneath the covers, holding on to each other dearly… getting as much warmth from each other as they can but never going further.

 

But tonight Jongin was determined to change that… for the very last time that he could hold Kyungsoo in his arms… Jongin decided that he will make love to Kyungsoo that night.

 

Jongin was gentle with his every move because he wanted for Kyungsoo to remember that despite the months of lying to him… that night is genuine, every kiss and every was genuinely Jongin.

 

That night, Jongin stopped pretending… or maybe he did stopped pretending a long time ago but that night as he lay beside a sleeping Kyungsoo, he held him closer and pressed his lips on the other’s forehead…tears escaping his eyes… because Jongin was scared… he was so scared that this will be the last time he could hold Kyungsoo like this and he doesn’t know if he could take it.

 

“I really really love you Kyungsoo…please don’t hate me…”

 

 

Jongin woke up to an empty bed the next morning; he quickly got up and had a quick wash before sauntering to the kitchen where he was expecting Kyungsoo to be. He planned on telling Kyungsoo everything after breakfast but when he reached the kitchen… only Baekhyun was there.

 

“Hey, morning… have you seen Soo?”

 

“He left early after cooking breakfast…said he has something important to do and he told me to tell you that he’ll be back by lunch…” Baekhyun explained as he devours Kyungsoo’s cooking.

 

“Oh…” Jongin sighed.

 

Baekhyun sensed Jongin’s weariness so he lifted his head to observe the other closely. Jongin looked tensed and distracted.

 

“Were you planning on telling Kyungsoo the truth today?” Baekhyun asked and Jongin weakly nod.

 

“It’s Kai’s death anniversary today and I was planning on taking Kyungsoo there today. I’ve been lying to Kyungsoo for too long… he deserves to know the truth. You were right; I can’t keep lying to him forever.”

 

Baekhyun got up from his seat and gave Jongin a pat on the shoulder. “I am part of this too; I’ll help you tell him later.”

 

“Thanks, Baek…maybe I’ll just go visit Kai first. I think I need some time alone so I could think of the right words to tell him… I really don’t want to hurt him like this Baek… I really don’t.” Jongin buried his face in his palm as he let out a deep breath.

 

“I understand Jongin… yes do that. I’ll stay here and prepare lunch for the three of us… then we’ll tell him the truth. I’m sure sooner or later Kyungsoo will understand why we did that.”

 

“I hope so Baek… I really hope he doesn’t hate me for this…”

 

 

Jongin was walking with his head hanging low, his mind preoccupied with a lot of things… he was holding some flowers for his brother and somehow he felt guilty for not visiting Kai often these past few months. He was so happy being with Kyungsoo that he sometimes forgets that it was all because of Kai.

 

When was just a few meters from his brother’s grave, he noticed someone was there too. At first he thought that the man was just visiting someone near his brother’s grave but as he stepped closer, he realized that the man was standing exactly at his brother’s spot and there were flowers on his brother’s marble gravestone.

 

The man seemed to notice his presence and turned to face him. Jongin’s breath hitched, the flowers he was holding suddenly fell to the ground… he stood there frozen as he was met with those beautiful eyes that he had learned to love…

 

“…Kyungsoo…”

 

“You’re late, Jongin…” was all that Kyungsoo said before turning his attention back to the marble stone in front of him.

 

“K-Kyungsoo… H-How…W-What are you doing h-here?” Jongin’s gaze went from Kyungsoo to the marble stone and back to Kyungsoo, confusion and fear consuming his mind.

 

“I’ve always known it, Jongin…” Kyungsoo ran his fingers along the surface of the stone, tracing Kai’s name.

 

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin closed the distance between them and nervously reached out for Kyungsoo.

 

 “I-I’m sorry… we just wanted to give you some time to recover from the surgery before we tell you the truth but then things went out of hand… I… I fell in love with you and I was so scared of telling you the truth because I know I will lose you once it comes out…” Jongin blabbered and Kyungsoo turned his head to face him again.

 

“What? Can you repeat what you just said?”

 

“H-huh?...we just wanted to give you some time---“ Jongin started repeating again but Kyungsoo interrupts him.

 

“No…no… after that…”

 

“T-Things went out of hand… I f-fell in l-love with you?”Jongin didn’t understand why but he saw Kyungsoo smirking after hearing his confession.

 

“You fell in love with me?”

 

“I-I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have, you are my brother’s boyfriend…I..”

 

“Shut up Jongin!” Kyungsoo interrupted Jongin’s blabbering again. “You don’t say you love someone and say sorry for it…” Kyungsoo reached out for Jongin’s face and smiled at him.

 

“Now tell me… are you really sorry for falling for me?” Kyungsoo’s eyes were staring back into Jongin’s eyes.

 

“I should be…but it felt so right, I just couldn’t stop myself from falling further.” Jongin honestly answered back.

 

“Do you think Kai will understand us?” Kyungsoo looked down on the marble stone.

 

“What do you mean Soo?” Jongin asked in confusion.

 

“I found out about the truth two weeks after the surgery.  Do you really think I wouldn’t figure it out? I was devastated about what happened to Kai but I wasn’t ready to deal with it so I went on with the lie. I tried to make myself believe that you are Kai but somewhere along those months I stopped seeing Kai in you… I started seeing you, Jongin… I started genuinely caring for you. Some time along those months, I found myself falling for you to…you as Jongin… not because you were pretending to be Kai.”

 

Jongin’s eyes widen upon hearing it and he felt his heart rate increase.

 

“Somehow, I stopped caring about the lie… I just wanted you to stay with me. I already lost Kai, I was so scared of losing you too…” Kyungsoo caressed Jongin’s face and Jongin lovingly lean in to the touch.

 

“You mean you…love me too?” Jongin asking the obvious and Kyungsoo happily nods at him.

 

Jongin pulled Kyungsoo into a tight hug. He was relieved and happy to hear what Kyungsoo just said. He looked down at his brother’s grave stone and whispered a simple thank you. He had apologized to his brother numerous times and he asked for his brother’s blessing about it. The confessions happened in front of Kai’s grave and Jongin couldn’t stop thinking that it was his brother’s way of accepting their relationship.

 

 

The apartment door opened and Baekhyun silently sighed when he saw his bestfriend and Jongin walking in hand in hand.

 

“Hey, you two…just in time for lunch…” Baekhyun called their attention.

 

“Oh yeah… Jongin said that you were cooking lunch so we didn’t dine out…” Kyungsoo let go of his boyfriend’s hands with a smile and casually went to the kitchen to prepare the table.

 

“Good thing Jongin remembered, my food will not be wasted then…” Baekhyun stood up from the couch but then he realized something. “WAIT! What did you just called him?” Baekhyun run to the kitchen and confusedly asked Kyungsoo about it.

 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo answered and he saw Baekhyun’s eyes widen so much it might fall off his face.

 

“What? I’ve always known about it Baek…I understand why you two did it.” Kyungsoo explained to his bestfriend. “And honestly Baek, you at keeping it a secret, you called Jongin by his real name half of the time…”

 

“So wait… you knew and you’re not mad but still you two entered the apartment holding each other’s hand… does that mean that you two are still together?” Baekhyun’s eyes went back and forth between Kyungsoo and Jongin.

 

Jongin took the liberty to link their hands again and intertwine their fingers for Baekhyun to see.

 

“Yes… and this time no more pretending…” Jongin proudly said.

 

“Uhm… I think we stopped pretending a long time ago, Jongin…” Kyungsoo smiled and lovingly stared at him.

 

“Yeah, I think we did…” Jongin smirked before gently pulling Kyungsoo closer to close the distance between their lips.

 

Baekhyun stood there and watched the two make out in awe and disgust. “Uhm, guys I’m still here, you know? Please don’t make me lose my appetite…”

 

The two pulled away from each other and Kyungsoo chuckled at his bestfriend. “I told you a thousand times to get yourself a boyfriend, until when are you planning to make Chanyeol wait. The poor giant is head over heels for you…”

 

Kyungsoo and Jongin laughed louder when they saw Baekhyun’s face turning red in an instant. Baekhyun had to hit both of them hard to make them stop.

 

 

 

 

…saem.riel’s note…

 

…and it’s done… almost a month from it’s supposed posting date ahahahahaha…

…anyways… sorry for making you wait long…I don’t know why it is so hard for me to focus on writing nowadays…

…///sighs

…thank you for reading this… I hope you enjoyed it…

…now let me go back to my cave… coz I have loads of fics to finish… (whispers M&C) ahahahahhahahah

…bye…of! In case you want to rant on me for being a turtle, im on twitter most of the times -----> saemriel