In the entirety of their ten years of friendship, Kim ‘Kai’ Jongin has never been more convinced that his best friend is a huge jerk than when Chanyeol opened up his flat’s door, stared down at him without even a hello, and then abruptly shut the damn thing close again.

“What the hell?” He cries indignantly, especially when he hears the lock setting in. So ing rude. “Oi, Park Chanyeol!”

That’s not how you treat your best friend when said best friend has so graciously spent his own money for the weekly bro night’s crate of soju. Hell, it’s not how you treat someone who bothers to keep in touch with you even when you don’t text back. Hell, just don't be rude.

“Hey, what gives?” Kai can’t help but shout, knuckles coming down against metal in hard knocks. Seriously, why does he even put up with this guy? Why? God knows he’s the only one willing to put up with Chanyeol’s stupid moods—for this long. Ten years, man. Ten years. “I’ve got the booze and I’m not leaving until I get drunk or you pay me back, Park!”

“Keep your voice down,” Chanyeol hisses when the door swings open again, just as Kai is picking up the drinks from the fancy floor. The latter opens his mouth to complain because the dumb door almost hit him, and he has never enjoyed being in pain or being anywhere close to it, but the (just slightly!) taller man doesn’t even let him get a single word in before Chanyeol is grabbing his shoulder and pulling him inside. “Shut up. I can hear you from across the damn hall.”

Kai tilts his head. “Why are you whispering?”

“I’m not. Why the hell were you shouting?”

“I wasn’t!”

Chanyeol winces. “Stop that.”

“Whatever,” Kai shrugs, leaving the owner of the flat by the door in favor of heading straight to the kitchen.

“Oh. I didn’t buy chips, that okay?” He shouts again while unloading the bottles of liquor on the marble counter. It takes less than a minute for Elf Ears to come storming through the kitchen door and growl at him about the noise he’s making. Again.

Weird, Jongin thinks. It’s not like Chanyeol’s living with anyone.

Chanyeol is the last person he’d think of if he had to list down peace-loving individuals. Noise and Chanyeol just go hand in hand. Period. That’s why when the older male begins to shoo him out and take over what he’s currently doing, Kai couldn’t help but ask, “Seriously, what’s got you so worked up, huh?”

“If you want to stay over, keep your damn voice low.”

Chanyeol has always been a little short-tempered. This he knows from the years they’ve spent through university together. Chanyeol likes having his way and things do end up his way more often than not, much to Kai’s wonder and dismay. A bit of a smile on that stupidly handsome face here, a little of that y laugh there, coupled with a well-timed and seemingly nonchalant compliment and Park Chanyeol is sure to have hearts racing and people eating from his palm.

It never worked at Kai though, who had the misfortune of being one of the very few to recognize and know the devil that Chanyeol really was. Is, even. Sometimes Kai wishes he wasn’t, because there really are only a few perks to being one of the lucky ones to know the real Chanyeol. Life would’ve been so much easier if he didn’t have to cringe reflexively every time Chanyeol acted nice. It’s true, what they say; ignorance is bliss. Ignorance and, well, selective attention.

Kai crosses his arms and leans against the counter, frowning. “You know what, you haven’t been this prissy since—”

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol cuts him off, fluidly depositing the rest of the bottles with trained ease. “I know.”

Neither of them utters a word after that, and Kai scratches his nape at the silence that suddenly ensues.

Baekhyun is—was—Chanyeol’s boyfriend of six years. Or was it eight? Kai doesn’t really remember. He doesn’t really make it a point to remember his best friend’s ex no matter fond his own memories are, lest he spits out a random memory that will just bring said best friend back to square one of moving on. Not that he believes Chanyeol is incapable of actually observing the process of moving on, but you know, just in case.

Believe it or not, Kai is one of those people who believe that nobody really moves on from their first love.

Chanyeol seems to sense his awkwardness and pauses, “Phone’s in the living room, go ahead and order chicken. Or pizza. Your call. Just don’t go crazy with the toppings like you did last time. And don’t order anything I can’t re-heat or has cucumber.”

Feeling a little guilty at having mentioned Baekhyun and not really wanting to let it take over his enthusiasm for Weekly Bro Night, Kai nods dumbly and steps out of the kitchen. To be honest, if there’s anything—anything at all—that he can confidently bet his life on and legitimately live to tell the tale afterwards, it’s the fact that Chanyeol genuinely loved Baekhyun.

He supposes he should be grateful that Chanyeol didn’t flip at the mere mention of the name. The breakup was bad, after all. Really bad. As in, holy you’re being so pathetic I feel embarrassed because I’m associated to you kind of bad.

Kai shivers at the memory of sad!Yeol, rubbing his own arm to calm the goosebumps down as he walks around the living room to search for said phone. It isn’t there, however, when he flips the couch cushions and even peeks under… well, everything else. He sort of doesn’t want to go back to the kitchen, though, so he walks around the apartment some more and pouts when he still cannot find it.

He grunts, deciding Chanyeol is ting him, so he makes a u-turn and heads for his best friend’s bedroom. How anyone can form the habit of leaving their phone somewhere else and not carry it in one’s own pocket is beyond him. But then again, it’s Park Chanyeol. Being this deep into friendship has taught Kim Jongin many things. The most relevant of them being to never get in the way of Chanyeol’s pride, and how difficult that is because Dumbyeol follows his own logic.

Whistling the tune he hasn’t been able to get out of his mind these past days, Kai cracks his shoulders and opens the door. It's preparation for himself before he rummages the mess that is his best friend’s room and—

Someone sleeping. Someone awfully familiar. Someone awfully familiar sleeping in his best friend's bed.

“Huh,” He blinks at the sight of his best friend’s ex sleeping atop Chanyeol’s bed before he laughs unsurely to himself and closes the door.

Once outside, Kai runs a palm through his dark hair and rubs his eyes. Haha, wow! He must have been tired. For safe measure, he also counts one to ten before entering the room again. He gulps, loudly, when the same sight greets him; when he sees the same sight of Byun Baekhyun wrapped in Chanyeol’s sheets.

“Oh,” is all the man says.

Wow. He must be exhausted.

But the image never goes away. It's an uncanny hallucination or a weirdly vivid daydream, because he legitimately spends an entire minute staring at the person he believed was never going to be a part of his life again.

Kai swallows again, silently this time, as he approaches and reminds himself to search for the phone. It feels so weird, especially after he realizes the room is actually put together now. It looked like a pigsty just last week. Hell, Chanyeol actually cleaned his room!

He tiptoes while searching, fast to also realize that the phone is nowhere to be found. Where could it possibly be…? He doesn't think there's anywhere else to check.

That is, until he decides to approach the bed; which also means he has to approach Chanyeol’s sleeping beauty; which is also kind of like trying to toe around a tiger's den. He would call Chanyeol a dog for being so territorial, but Chanyeol is six feet plus tall so… yeah.

Holy , what if Chanyeol has lost his mind and ordered a wax figure modeled after his ex? Kai isn’t quite sure what he should feel about that. He suddenly imagines himself being interrogated by a shrink and he forces to rid himself of the mental image because he discovers that this, this is real. Baekhyun is real. Baekhyun is really there. Baekhyun is still also so ing small and soft in Chanyeol’s bed.

He snatches Chanyeol’s phone when he finally locates it, right beside Baekhyun and almost underneath the latter’s pretty fingers, and flees out of the room. He remembers to close the door behind him before he walks slowly back to the kitchen and starts to run halfway there. He just can’t—what the hell did he just see?

“What took you so long? Have you ordered yet?” Chanyeol immediately questions, looking a little miffed. “And why is your face like that?”

Instead of being mildly offended or responding with a disgustingly greasy but strictly platonic comeback, Kai blinks. He blinks at the phone in his hands, then at his best friend. He internalizes what he has just seen, trying to make sense out of things, before he finally finds his voice again.

“Dude,” He starts, now realizing why he has to keep his voice low. “I just, you—he was… Baekhyun is in your room. Hey, why is Baekhyun in your room? That was Baekhyun, right?”

“I didn’t say you could go in there,” Chanyeol frowns.

“I was looking for your phone, but then—” Kai explains before he shakes his head. “That’s not important right now. You know what is though? Baekhyun.”

“I’m not telling you anything, so start getting drunk and so I can start kicking you out, Kim Jongin.”

“No friggin’ way!” He exclaims, and almost instantly the older is back at his throat to hiss at him to be quiet. “I’m not leaving until you tell me everything, so you better start now or else I’m barging in there and demand to be called Nini bear again.”

“You are not going to embarrass both of us by bringing that up to Baekhyun.”

“Oh, is that a dare, Park?”

Chanyeol sighs exasperatedly in surrender. “Fine, but for the love of god, don’t be obnoxious for once in your life,” he grumbles. “Before you get any funny ideas, no, we’re not back together.”

“You’re ting me.”

“Do I look like I am?” The older rubs his temple, before laying his palms flat over the marble counter. “I don’t know what happened, alright? He just—he just showed up. He rang the doorbell, and when I opened the door he… he was there. On my doorstep. So I didn’t… I don’t… letting him walk away was just the last thing on my mind.”

It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Kai rubs a palm over his own nape, also unsure and in disbelief. “He didn’t… you know, slap you? I don’t know. He wasn’t angry…?”

He’s happy Baekhyun is here, but at the same time, he can’t bring himself to entirely be happy when he remembers the mess that was Baekhyun leaving in the first place. He… he doesn’t want to see Chanyeol beat himself up again, not when Chanyeol has gotten himself together. He can see it on his best friend’s face that Chanyeol—Chanyeol is also holding back. Somehow, somewhat.

“That’s the thing. He doesn’t remember.”

“Like, what, amnesia?”

“I don’t know,” Chanyeol sighs, ripping the nearest pizza brochure and sliding it towards the other. “I’m a business major, not a psychology graduate.”

Kai takes it and turns on his heel to make the call and place their order, before turning right back and leaning on the counter as well. “But hey man, if… if he doesn’t remember then, doesn’t it mean… no, wait, what does he remember then?”

“Me. Us. He called me his boyf—” Chanyeol stops and shakes his head. “Just—go order that pizza.”

“Alright, alright,” Kai mumbles, already calling the pizza place and walking out of the kitchen to give his best friend some much needed space and time to let everything sink in. He needs it, too, so he plops down Chanyeol’s sofa—the old one, the one that he’s been hinting to Park to get rid of because it just brings back sad memories, except that now it also stands for hope because Baekhyun is back—and stares wide-eyed at the ceiling.

Ordering takes less than five minutes when they order the same thing every week, which also means it’s less than five minutes later that he reaches for the remote and switches the flat screen on. He can’t stand quiet. Quiet makes people think, it makes him think. If he wanted to think, he wouldn’t have gone here in the first place. He sprawls himself on the sofa and even pulls out the foot rest from underneath it to truly make himself comfortable, more at home.

“Scoot,” Chanyeol lamely spits out when the owner of the flat finally decides to join him, holding two bottles of soju and handing one over to him.

Kai makes space for him, even passes the phone and places it in between them when no hand takes it, all without glancing from the re-run of Running Man on tv.

“So… what do you plan to do?” He mutters as he sips on his drink and lets the older man surf channels. “You’re not letting him walk away, but it’s been what, two years? Two years of being apart and living without you, how are you going to go around that?”

“I honestly have no idea,” Chanyeol admits, lazily leaning back on the head rest with another sigh. “Right now, I can’t think of anything else.”

The younger slightly snorts. “It’s just Byun and Baekhyun, isn’t it? I’m going to have to get used to third wheeling again aren’t I?”

“You were never a third wheel.”

“Right. Forgot. No other guys around Baekhyun. Any chances of saying hi to him disappear once you’ve gotten an arm around his shoulders.”

“He didn’t like that,” Chanyeol quietly replies. “I’m not going to do that this time.”

“I thought you weren’t—you want to get back together?” Kai raises a brow meant for the other guy but is still more visually engrossed with the huge box of modern media trash.

“I want to get back together.” The older confirms.

“Okay, that was a stupid question, because of course you do. Look, I’m not trying to discourage you or anything, because I really can’t ing believe Baekhyun’s here, and honestly, I’m so stoked that I surprise myself I can still talk,” Kai clarifies. “But I’m just going to say that it’s been what, two years? A lot could have happened in the last two years.”

He doesn’t bring up the topic of clubs or women. He doesn’t mention the sudden transformation from resident nerdy heartthrob to a legitimate outward overachiever to compensate for the suddenly emptier apartment that Chanyeol would come home to after Baekhyun left. Most of all, he does not hint about having had to walk on eggshells around Chanyeol because Baekhyun was a sensitive topic. Always has been, always will be.

“What does that matter now?”

“What do you mean what does that matter now? People don’t just get amnesia out of the blue, if it is amnesia—”

“I have him back and he doesn’t remember ever leaving, so what does two years matter?” Chanyeol argues. “What does it matter when right now, Baekhyun is in my room, sleeping on our old bed and believing I’m still his boyfriend?”

“Do you think he’s faking it? You know, since he just showed up out of the blue when you haven’t been in contact at all,” Kai gets startled when a cushion comes flying right in front of him, missing his nose by a mere inch and almost making him spill his soju. He frowns at the man beside him. “Ya, I’m not helping you clean, .”

“You kept whining when he left, you still whine when he’s back. Just shut up,” Chanyeol replies, but the younger knows he doesn’t mean it. Not as much as Chanyeol would like anyway.

“Were you sleeping with him earlier?” Kai asks, before opening his mouth again to explain. “I meant, just sleeping, not—but if you did, not that I—” He swallows upon seeing the look that his best friend is throwing at him before he pauses and just sips on his drink. “I meant I disturbed your sleep, didn’t I?”

“You did.”

“Well. No wonder you’re prissy,” He chuckles uneasily. “It’s… a lot to take in. Sorry, if I had known I would’ve left you alone tonight.”

“No, you would have come over much earlier to see for yourself.”

“Well, point there,” Kai shrugs and picks himself up to get the door for the pizza guy.

Letting the younger of them take care of the pizza, Chanyeol glances down at his phone before he places his bottle on the nearest table to check up on his ex. He gives everything else a quick scan, just in case he missed anything that utterly screams single guy’s apartment. He doesn’t want Baekhyun noticing things that shouldn’t matter.

He trudges towards his—their—his(?) bedroom and pushes open the door slowly to be quiet, closing it behind him in the same manner. He crosses his arms over his chest and leans on his side against the door. Another sigh escapes him.

Chanyeol is not tired. He can’t ever be tired when it’s Baekhyun, but he also wishes he knew exactly what it is he should do. He knows what he wants to happen, because what he wants hasn't changed in two years. It's still Baekhyun. He still only really wants to have Baekhyun back.

But where does he begin…? How does he start? What is he supposed to do now?

“Two years, huh?” He exhales, before plucking himself from the door and walking over to his occupied bed. He sits by the edge, leaning over just enough to touch the man in the middle.

Baekhyun changed. Baekhyun could have—must have—changed as much as he did over the last two years. People always change anyway, and break-ups are just one of many of the greater, more obvious reasons to take a good look at yourself.

He would like to think that, without him to experiment hair dyes with, Baekhyun just let himself slip back to what’s easier and let his black hair grow back. The dark locks are soft beneath the tips of Chanyeol’s fingers, much more than he remembers. He never thought he would miss doing even just this, the little things, and he can’t believe it’s been two years since the last time he had.

Baekhyun squirms underneath the blanket, always the fidgety sleeper, and crawls slightly closer to his touch, to him. Chanyeol sinks down beside him and leaves his own long legs to dangle from the edge of the bed, pondering over the fact that he managed to fall asleep earlier and woke up with Baekhyun still there. It feels weird, but he can’t say that it doesn’t feel nice.

“Ya, Park! Pizza!” Kai’s excited voice suddenly booms, even through the door, making the host of all of Kai’s impromptu parties wince and sit right up.

“How many Kim Kais does it take to get a hint?” Chanyeol mutters under his breath as he glances at Baekhyun, who he notices has stirred and whose eyes are already blinking slowly before they manage to pick him out of the darkness.

“What time is it…?”

“Dinner,” Chanyeol replies with a smile, deciding Kai can entertain himself plenty with booze and pizza, before he settles back down and loosely embraces his ex. “You hungry?”

“If you’re going to say something cheesy like you having me for dinner, then no,” Baekhyun sleepily laughs, closing his eyes and welcoming the kiss he receives.

It’s slow yet eager. It’s still a little overwhelming; Baekhyun, when he gets someone as big as a man like Chanyeol suddenly trapping him between a body and a bed, and Chanyeol, when there's someone as soft and precious like Baekhyun in his arms. Hands slide up from Chanyeol’s chest, up until they climb over shapely muscles and reach the top of broad shoulders. They continue sliding, roaming, until the palms find each other and they lace together behind Chanyeol's neck while Baekhyun returns the attention his mouth is being given.

Chanyeol’s hands are warm as they push against sheets so he can touch Baekhyun; to draw out little, satisfying noises that their room hasn’t heard in such a long time. He takes what he can, and takes even more when his ex tilts his own head to offer more to him, such as the soft sighs, the taste of strawberries that has always been Baekhyun’s favourite, and the familiar way that hands roam over his chest before gently caressing the path to his jaw. He wants to take his time kissing Baekhyun again. He wants to re-learn all the things he used to do that made Baekhyun unable to resist him in the first place.

He wants this again. He wants to call Baekhyun his again. He wants—

“Hey Yeo—okay wow you guys are already making out holy shi—” Kai sputters as he slams the door close as quickly as the younger man had opened it.

Which, of course, is an absolutely useless thing to do, because Baekhyun pushes Chanyeol off him as soon as they both heard the damn door swing open.

Chanyeol groans heavily in frustration at having the mood broken and the moment interrupted, especially when he attempts to initiate another kiss. His ex refuses to humor him and turns him away with a palm over his lips. He kind of wants to cry. He also kind of wants to kick his best friend out of his apartment at this very moment.

Goddamnit, he knew he should have just kicked Kai out.

“Who was—was that Jongin?” Baekhyun exhales, self-conscious, and pulls the covers up his non- body anyway.

“Came over for pizza,” Chanyeol explains, a little distracted by the way his ex his own lips. “I’ll go and kick him out, you go ahead and sleep if you want to.”

“No. Why would you kick Nini out? Don’t be rude, Yeol,” Baekhyun stops him with a hand on his wrist, fully improvised handcuffs, as the smaller man maneuvers himself out of the sheets just so there wouldn't be any attempts to throw Kim ‘King ’ Kai off the side of the building before Baekhyun can slip out of bed with him.

Chanyeol blinks at his ex, then at the hand almost holding his, before he looks away with a pout that is trying hard not to become a smile on his face and a fuzzy feeling fluttering in his chest. He follows closely behind as the shorter man paces to the door.

“You’ve been drinking,” Baekhyun suddenly says, staring at him, but not meeting his eyes. “You were drinking in my dream, too.” The man adds quietly.

Chanyeol watches the man in his arms take a quick look at the room, scanning the walls that aren’t blue anymore and the study table in the corner that doesn’t have piles of Baekhyun’s leftover quarter reports. He lets his arms wrap tighter around Baekhyun’s waist and distracts the latter with a peck on his cheek, nuzzling against a neck before whispering, “I’ll give you better dreams later.”

Baekhyun scrunches his nose and immediately squirms from the ticklish feeling, laughing just slightly, before pushing the taller away again. “You smell like soju,” He comments and mock-grimaces at the other’s breath, earning himself a look of challenge, before he lets Chanyeol takes this opportunity to lean down again and press their lips into something better than a peck.

“How about now?” Chanyeol asks as he pulls away to leave only a few inches between them, hands sliding lower down to rest on Baekhyun’s hips.

Baekhyun snorts, as if another kiss makes a difference, and stops the other man from pointlessly experimenting again with a hand over the latter’s mouth. “For someone who denied being my boyfriend, you sure enjoy kissing me,” He jokes, and quickly realizes that even as just a joke, the words hurt.

However, for Chanyeol who hasn’t seen him in two years, it’s the truth. It’s a truth that still hurts and just as much, if not more. Baekhyun doesn’t even know it because Baekhyun doesn’t remember. It’s also another thing that Chanyeol laughs off, because it’s fine; because he’s fine; because Baekhyun doesn’t have to remember, and for as long as Baekhyun doesn’t, then Chanyeol doesn’t have to force himself to move on.

There’s nothing to move on from right now.

“What’s so funny?” Baekhyun asks, pouting, or tries to, as he glances down at plump lips, then at brown eyes.

“Am I? Am I your boyfriend?” Chanyeol replies, instantly earning himself a full-blown unamused look.

Baekhyun pushes him off for a second time and proceeds to open the door. He slams it shut again before his ex can escape and ignores the protest that his shameless best friend releases from the other side. Right after, he’s staring down at Byun Baekhyun, whose arms are crossed over his own chest now and frowning.

Baekhyun stares at him in silence. It’s almost scary. Silence is always scary when you’re waiting for an answer; when you already know the answer you want to hear.

“Ya Byun Baek, am—ow!” Chanyeol recoils to caress his forehead after the flick he receives, providing an opening and letting the other finally open the door fully.

Baekhyun steps aside for Kai who comes tumbling and sputtering once again as he crashes against Chanyeol and they both fall like two towers on the floor. They both groan, one hissing to push the other away, and another half-shouting at being treated so cruelly as a guest. Baekhyun laughs at the uncoordinated mess of arms and limbs as Chanyeol yanks Kai down by the hem of the latter’s shirt to help himself up, inadvertently dragging the other back down with a yelp.

“You!” Chanyeol grits, yanking Kai again, upwards to finally stand on his own two feet this time. “You’ve been listening to us the entire time!”

“Look, man, you were taking so long so I thought, what if the fell asleep? I was like, what am I supposed to do? You know?” Kai just spills word after word, without blinking at the hand grabbing his collar.

“I already left you with booze and pizza, why the he—”

“Hey, I did not know you guys were making out!”

“You still listened even after y—” Chanyeol continues to growl,until a hand lands on his forearm and slides down to one of his raised hands to pull him towards the open door.

All irritation just seems to drain out of him as he drops an indignant Kim Jongin on the floor, with his gaze falling on his hand again and letting himself be led outside. They finally and actually step outside of the bedroom now, and he walks behind his small ex-boyfriend like a huge puppy towards the living room. Baekhyun seems relieved to still know his way around because Chanyeol can see the puzzlement at having had the furniture moved, and even some having been replaced.

Baekhyun comes to an abrupt stop to take a good look at his kitchen, what used to be their kitchen. No more of their fridge magnets because Chanyeol threw them out. No more bright-colored canisters, or pictures on the counter, and—

“You must be hungry,” Chanyeol says with a smile as he links their fingers together and pulls Baekhyun with him to the living room, away from the obvious evidence of having had two years pass by them while they lived separate lives.

They find two large pizza boxes, both opened and already missing two slices. The sofa remains stain-free. If it had been any other night, Kai would already be stuffing himself and trying to drink halfway into one crate, and Chanyeol would let him. Tonight he’s not letting Kai make a mess on the things that Baekhyun left him, and he makes sure to toe around the table and moves the boxes, and the few bottles already scattered by the side.

His ex just watches him make the space much more presentable. Again. Just like he did only a few hours ago.

“Hey, Yeol? When… when you said—when you asked me—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Chanyeol immediately replies as he holds a hand out to the other again; to help Baekhyun climb over the ring of cushions and whatever imaginary fort his best friend managed to come up with in the short amount of time Kai had been left alone.

But his ex doesn’t take it. Only looks at him with that same face, the one that told him earlier that Baekhyun was thinking of running; that Baekhyun was going to leave. There's just no way he would let that happen.

“Hey, I said it doesn’t matter,” He repeats, with furrowed brows, and hurriedly jumps over Kai’s childish imagination to approach the man he doesn't want to forget.

“You’re my boyfriend,” Chanyeol declares, cupping both of Baekhyun’s cheeks in his bigger palms. “My boyfriend. Mine. Do you understand?”

“Guys where are—” Kai struts into the living room, immediately opening his mouth into another agonized groan. He quickly retreats back into the hallway to hide and blanch at another semi-permanent mental image of Park Chanyeol occupying his ex-crush’s mouth with another heated kiss, just because today is the day that the jerkwad giant has suddenly re-discovered libido. “ my life, guys. my life.”