it starts abruptly, but it creeps up slowly.

it takes a moment for aimee to realize. her heart rate has increased dramatically from just a minute ago. her fingers are suddenly shaking too much for her to type a legible sentence, and she feels like she's running out of air.

it's another one.

it'll be okay, aimee, it'll pass, she tells herself, swallowing her fears down and steeling herself. even though she has to backspace every few seconds, she continues with her work. she pretends like there's nothing wrong.

it gets worse and worse as the minutes pass. one minute feels like one hour. she feels like she's dying and going insane all at once. aimee wants to curl up in a ball and cry her eyes out, but she forces herself not to.

but she does allow herself to move from the desk to her bed, where she lies down. it'll be okay, she tells herself. you've gone through this before. you can do it. she tries to convince herself that it's just another one, but every panic attack seems worse and longer-lasting than the rest. the attack builds up on itself as the time passes, getting more intense with every second. taking deep breaths, she covers her eyes with her forearm and tries to relax.

"noona!" taehyung screams from somewhere downstairs. "seokjin's trying to bake cookies! come downstairs and get one!"

maybe eating a little will help. aimee gets up, closes her eyes and takes a couple more deep breaths to try to help herself feel normal, and wobbles out of the door. the last thing she wants is for her brothers to know. they're burdened enough with school and work already, so why bother? and besides, she's probably overthinking it, and it's not really a panic attack after all.

"aimee-noona!" jungkook greets her at the bottom of the stairs, waving a cookie in his hand. she smiles a little, a genuine one. it'll be okay, she assures herself, while the pain and the dizziness become more severe.

jungkook frowns. "are you okay? you're shaking and you look like you're about to throw up."

aimee wants to tell him so, so bad. she wants to cry, but there's something stopping her. "i'm fine, jungkookie. just a little under the weather today."

"get better, okay?" he beams cheerily at her.

"it's a kookie eating a cookie," namjoon suddenly comes out of the kitchen. he says cookie in english to make it rhyme, and aimee snorts.

"you say that everytime," she scolds him gently.

"because it's clever," he responds suddenly. "and are you sure you're okay, noona? you look sick."

"i'll be fine," she reassures him. but inside, she feels like she's walking on a tightrope strung up 20 kilometers into the air. one strong breeze, and she'll fall. she feels like she's falling down the rabbit-hole, spinning and spinning out of control. she feels like she isn't even aimee anymore, like she's watching this scene from someone else's body. 10 minutes have passed, and her panic attack doesn't show any signs of stopping. she's had ones that have lasted for hours, leaving her feeling exhausted and helpless. silently, aimee prays that this isn't one of them.

"have a cookie," seokjin comes into the living room holding a plate. behind him is the rest of the family: hoseok, yoongi, jimin, and taehyung. they all crowd around seokjin, vying desperately for another. "jungkook, namjoon, are they good?"

namjoon flashes two thumbs up.

"they'