words count: 5970 + 

a/n: pls bear with me ;;

I was drawing something on an off-white colored paper when the rain suddenly poured down and small droplets of water from above could be heard cascading against the roof.

I tried to study what could be missing in the first drawing I made for my sister's project which she asked me to re-do after seeing it. I pondered what it meant when she said it wasn't like my usual drawings, that it seemed bland and lifeless.

Lifeless, huh? I thought as I grasped the drawing pencil with my fist as bittersweet memories came swamping back to me.

When I was twenty, I used to take care of horses with my little sister. I used to plow the land with the help of our horses. One of them was named Siwon. He was the last horse we owned and apparently he passed away because of old age.

My 10-years old sister, Ying, cried a lot as she was probably more heartbroken than I was.  Siwon was her favorite horse. She treated him like family.

She loved him as much as I did.

People would often question why we treat our horses as if they were little dogs or babies.

Or why Ying felt so attached to Siwon.

Then I would just shrug and say, "simply because they are like family to us."

Nevertheless, Ying and I both knew that Siwon was old and he needed to go.

 We had to let go of him. Just like we did to the others. 

Letting go of someone special wasn't that easy.

It's never easy to let go of someone who's already engraved in our memories and in our hearts.

That night was warm though it was raining really hard outside.

In that quiet night, I just stared at our small farm from the window of my room.

Siwon and I were supposed to plow the area, but then he was gone.

Ying used to ride on him every afternoon in the farm, but now he's gone.

I thought sadly.

The following day after that was unusually windy and cold. No heat piercing our skins which was pretty delightful actually.

Ying and I were bundled up with warm clothes and blankets in front of the fireplace.

Once Ying was asleep, I covered her with my own blanket to make sure she wouldn't catch a cold. Ying had been sick with weak lungs since she was born. 

When our parents were murdered, I promised myself that I would take care of her and protect her for as along as I'm alive, with all my life.

Ying is my other half and I wouldn't let anything happen her. Which was why I didn't tell her the truth about the death of our parents. I told her that Father died of old age and Mother died after giving birth to her. Despite that, she grew up to be a good girl.

She loved horses. She loved playing with them and training them with me while they're still young...

Siwon was our last horse...

He was the last piece of her happiness. 

Rain rain go away, she used to sing Siwon to sleep. Come again another day, she would comb his charcoal hair with her little fingers. Little Yiyi wants to play... and then she'd give him a hug before leaving the barn.

Ying didn't want a new horse then. She said she only wanted Siwon. 

When I told her that I'd buy her a new one, she fell sick for a day. I used all the money we had left to buy her medicines. Ying felt bad because she knew we didn't have enough money anymore. "It's okay, Yifan. Yiyi will get better. You don't have to buy me too much medicine... I don't want another horse either. They're only gonna leave us..."

"You know I will do anything for you right," I said softly, brushing my hand against her forehead. "You will get healthier, Ying. I promise."  

It was then that we heard a noise from downstairs which I perceived was from the small barn next to our house. Ying grabbed a hold of my arm before I could get up from the chair beside her bed. "What's that?" She asked, voice barely audible.

"I'll go check the barn," I told her, giving her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, it's probably just the wind causing something to drop. Just stay here and sleep, alright?"

Ying smiled, seemingly satisfied. "Okay then. Goodnight, Yifan." 

"Goodnight... Ying." 

Then I hurried down the stairs. I could only hope that it was just the wind or something else unimportant.

Maybe one of the buckets fell. 

Or not. I thought as I strode carefully towards the barn door. Then I stepped inside, taking the axe hanging on an old hook against the wall before steadying my nerves.

"Hello?" I called uncertainly when I thought I saw a shadow behind a hay.

"Who's there?" I asked. "You better come out or else..." I looked at my axe before walking forward and sighing. When I heard a noise which sounded like someone was whimpering, I eventually fastened my pace to one of the hays and quickly positioned the axe to the side.

My eyes widened at what I saw.

A horse.

A white horse.

With blonde hair.

It was the most beautiful horse I've ever seen.

How come a horse which is not mine is right here in my barn? I thought in my mind the moment I saw the white horse lying helplessly on the ground.

Once it brayed with pain, then and there I spotted the wounds on his body and legs.

My heart then dropped to my stomach.

I immediately went to his aid without hesitation.

It was unusual to find a horse injured and still managed to run for his life.

Moreover, to find someone else's horse in my own barn was greatly surprising.

I checked his wounds and instantly believed he was abused by his owner. If not his owner,then probably just someone. Anyone who was definitely insane. Whoever did it had done too much. I couldn't believe anyone on their right mind would hurt an animal. The white horse then looked at me with teary eyes. I thought I saw a sign of fear in those innocent orbs looking up at me.

As if he was afraid I'd hurt him.

He was afraid of people. 

"It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt you... You're safe wih me," I said genuinely, hoping that he'd feel safe with my soothing words as I tried to help him with the best I could.

Maybe he did because he calmed down after. I did what I could do to treat his wounds, praying to God that he could make it.

I woke up the next day and went back to the barn but there was no sign of a horse.

For a moment, I was petrified. He couldn't have left with those injuries, right? I thought to myself.

For a moment, I thought it was all a dream.

But there was still a trail of dry blood painted on the ground which proved me sane.

Just when I was about to run outside to find the injured white horse, I caught someone stealing glances at me from the corner of my eyes. I swiftly turned to the side and saw something moved around the hays. I lifted the axe from the ground and headed to the hays.

Then I thought I saw a man.

I thought it was the man who abused the white horse. The reason why the white horse ran away again. I thought it was a call of danger.

I was now looking at a young man who seemed younger than me.

His body unclothed.

He was defenseless. 

He had a milky white skin.

Wet and smeared with dirt.

He had a bright flaxen hair shining and shimmering against the rays of the rising sun.

He was sweating profusely as the small hairs around his ears became damp.

His body was shaking involuntarily.

He looked so scared.

But still I thought he was just an intruder. 

I attempted to drag him out of my barn. I grabbed on his arm before shouting, "get out of here!"

Only when he yelped in pain and sobbed quietly under my grip, I recognized the bandanna tied around his ankle. It was my bandanna. I was stunned for a moment. I didn't recall giving it to him. I only remembered wrapping it around one of the white horse's socks which was bleeding from the previous night.

Then I realized that he -  that boy was badly injured. I was in horror when I noticed the huge crimson slash on his back, a few gashes around his stomach and his wounded ankle which was covered with the blood-covered bandanna.

"Please...spare me," he begged with a soft trembling voice.

I didn't know what to do at that moment.

I didn't know how I managed to close the doors and keep Ying away. 

"Yifan? What's wrong?" Ying asked behind the door that I locked. "Is everything okay?"

"Nothing, Ying..." I lied nervously. "J-Just eat breakfast without me okay? I'm just gonna clean up the barn."

"Are you sure you don't need help?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go ahead. I'll be fast."

"Okay, Yifan. I'll make you dark chocolate too!" She said happilly before I saw her running back to the house.

Taking a deep breath, I turned back again.

I darted my eyes for the boy. I drifted to the hays where I expected he'd be hiding again. I was right. The injured boy was back where I first saw him. He was hugging his knees close to his chest, sobbing as he buried his head on them. I kneeled down in front of him.

I thought I was insane. 

I thought it was impossible.

"Hey," I called meekly. "I'm sorry. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? I- I want to help you," I said then shook my head from side to side when I remembered how I tried to force him out of my barn. He cried harder. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were injured," I tried to assure him with a gentle touch but he meerly lifted his head and moved back, frightened. "What happened to you?" I asked hesitantly. "And why do you have my bandanna?" 

Tears continued streaming down his cheeks with soft mewls instantly escaping his fairly pink yet chapped lips. He cried and shook his head repeatedly as if trying to shake off some bad memories of what happened to him.

I seized one of his trembling hands and clutched it steadily. "Don't be scared," I muttered. "You're safe here." 

He met my gaze but I doubted he could see my face when his eyes were practically covered with tears. 

"Are you...that white horse?" Once the question left my mouth, I regretted saying it out loud. But nevertheless, I had to know. I needed to know. I wanted to know if I was crazy...

He then closed his eyes. After a few seconds of waiting, I saw him nodding his head. I subsconsciously covered my mouth in disbelief.

"I- I can't believe this..." I muttered under my breath, letting go of his hand as I lowered my head to the ground. I wanted to ask him how but I couldn't find any words to say after he confirmed it to me. 

"H-He k-keeps on hurting me," he eventually spoke which totally surprised me. Although his voice came out as a croak he could still speak our language fluently. I raised my head to look at him. He averted his eyes from me as he continued, "because I'm u-useless. H-He t-told me to die. T-They hate me, they hate me because I'm Luhan. I w-wanted to runaway b-but they-" he stuttered helplessly, tears coursing down nonstop.

He was so broken, fragile and scared. 

And I couldn't do anything but wrapped him in my arms. I didn't know why or how. I just enveloped him in my arms. It just happened. I felt like he needed me the most. I felt like I could give it to him. That I could protect him too. That I could wash away those bad memories and his wounds. That I could give him the love he deserved. 

"It's okay you're alright now," I whispered into his ear. "Luhan?"

"Mm," he mumbled against my chest. 

"He won't find you here. He won't get to you again, okay? You're safe with me, with my sister. Trust me..." I said, trying to reassure him as I rubbed his back smoothly, hoping that I'd be able to remove his fears even if it's just for a moment.

I don't know how but he managed to get to my heart right away.

Once he calmed down, I decided to carry him to my room. I tried to be as careful as I could when lifting him up from the ground as he winced at every touch I did. I went out of the barn and Ying quickly ran to us the second she saw us from her tree house. Without answering her questions, I told her to grab a bucket of water and a towel. She just nodded her head, alarmed and anxious as she ran back to the barn.

Once we reached to my bedroom upstairs, I gently laid the boy onto the bed. I managed not to leer at his body. I pulled the blanket up to warm him up. I didn't know he was looking at me the whole time. Then I met his gaze. The color of his eyes were dark then it turned a little brownish and bright when the sun hit his face. His eyes were a black void but it was still beautiful and extraordinary. He managed to form a small smile on his lips while holding my hand intently. It was as if he was sending me a message using his eyes. And I understood what it meant. 

He was trying to thank me though he was in pain. 

"Don't mention it," I said slowly. 

"Sir?"

"You can call me Yifan."

"Yifan...?"

I nodded.

"I - I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

"When the clock strikes 8... D-do y-you want a ride?" He asked, blinking his eyes in doubt.

"What do you mean?"

"Fly with me."

I didn't completely understand what he meant. 

I just thought he was extraordinary. 

And he ended up to be something more than that.

By 'ride' he meant a ride on him, literally. 

I just finished taking a hot shower when th