On our backs under the stars

As we sing, as we sing

What’s another night on Mars?

With friends like ours anywhere is home.

Another Night on Mars, The Maine

1.

Sehun finds comfort in silence, in rare occasions like this when he’s alone and able to marvel at the sunrise sneaking, tiptoeing slowly through their curtains. He’s the first one up, too early and almost a surprise because it’s their first free day in weeks and it’s more than acceptable to sleep until noon but he’s up anyway, watching the sunlight tiptoe slowly through the windows, across the beige walls of the kitchen, surely and slowly as if making sure not to wake anyone up from their deep slumbers.

A mess of pink hair peeked through the doors; Jongin dragged himself to the dining table chair, sit next to Sehun and mumbled incoherently. Sleep still heavy in his soul as his cheek hits the cold glass of the table, his breathing becomes even again and Sehun watched as the older guy dozed off.

“Go back to bed” he nudged him gently.

“Hmm Kyungsoo alarm phone noise going off won’t stop hhhmheforgot to turn it off or something” Jongin murmurs, eyes still shut.

Sehun let him be, as he leaned back to look out the window again, wondering what crazy color Jongin’s hair would be next year, or maybe he should dye his with purple like Minseok’s.

“Coffee”.

Sehun looked at him, not sure if he heard the right thing. Jongin flailed his right hand at him and mumbled again, “Get me coffee”.

Sehun pauses; Jongin has always been choosy with his coffee, somehow it always comes off too sweet, too bitter, too strong, too milky and you will know it because Jongin has always been bad at hiding emotions, his face is practically an open book. Sehun stood up anyway, the coffee machine hums gently under his fingertips. He poured the black liquid into a mug and hesitates before putting milk and sugar, afraid that it will be too much, it’s always too much for Jongin. The scent of coffee in the air tingled his sensations.

Jongin is now up, eyelids half opened as he watches Sehun place the coffee in front of him, a mess of yawn and pink hair. Jongin took a sip, Sehun waited for that inevitable “too sweet, too bitter, too strong” face, but it didn’t came.

Jongin smiled at him, “This is good”, he said, voice rough under the shadows of stupor.

Sehun smiled too, “Took me four years to memorize the way you like your coffee though”.

2.

It took a while before Sehun locate the ringing phone, it was sandwiched between Junmyeon’s mattress and the headboard, blasting TVXQ’s Share The World, and sending waves of aches into his head. He fell asleep on Junmyeon’s bed again, which is normal anyway, considering they’re roommates and there’s this unexplainable yet soothing feeling he gets whenever he shares leader-sshi’s comforters.

Junmyeon’s back was facing him, he watched the gentle rising and falling of his shoulders, cursing silently as he pulled the now crumpled manga they were reading last night from underneath his back, it was Minseok’s, and he will probably throw a fit when he finds out Junmyeon slept on it. He sighed, placed the book on the coffee table and went back to sleep.

“It’s 6AM already”, Sehun was pulled back to Earth with a gentle shove.

Half hour after the deafening Changmin scream of an alarm, Junmyeon wakes him up.

“It’s 6AM Sehun, you have a scheduled photoshoot” Junmyeon murmured, pulling the comforter above his head, “Get your off to the bathroom, don’t be late”.

“I don’t want to go”, Sehun groaned. He felt Junmyeon’s cold foot above the base of his spine and in one swift motion he was out of bed.

“I have the right to kick you out, this is my bed, now go take a bath” Sehun was kneeling beside the coffee table, knees aching a bit from the fall.

“You have a schedule too” he started yanking the comforters off of Junmyeon’s head.

“That’s at 10AM”, Junmyeon pulled on the comforters harder.

“Let’s switch photoshoots then”, Sehun crawled back into the bed and fit himself into the tiny space left, tugging on the comforter and a pillow.

Junmyeon pushed him off the bed again, “Sehun, don’t be late”, his tone more serious, not the friendly Junmyeon tone, but the leader Suho tone- the one you don’t argue with.

“Oka aa ay”, the last syllable drag as Sehun yawned and get off the bed lazily, basking on their leader’s tough love.

“Yah”

Sehun turned back to Junmyeon- lids still heavy, face a thousand shadows against the morning light, smile warm despite the cold morning air, “Hwaiting!”.

3.

Sehun’s eyes were red from too much movies and LCD screens, it was two in the morning yet he could not resist the urge to watch the other Maze Runner sequel, just another two hours then sleep, he convinced himself that one hundred twenty minutes will go by in a blink.

He admired Ki Hong Lee’s perfect English and wondered if he can ever be that fluent. He can be, no doubt, if he put in extra hours of English lessons. He dozed off a bit imagining what it would be like to star in a Hollywood film. He sensed movements as Chanyeol sat next to him on the couch, “I just finished a song what are you watching?”

Chanyeol has always been the all-around guy, pretty much like Yixing. He’ll disappear inside the music room for hours and come out swaggering about a newly composed song or rap, or how he had finished reading a sent manuscript for a drama and the role fits him perfectly. To think of it, among them, Chanyeol has the biggest chance of being the next Ki Hong Lee.

“Aaah do you know he was also part of the writers for that film?” Chanyeol gestured at Ki Hong Lee on the screen, traversing a desert.

“His awesome like that”

“Yeah”, silence filled the dim living room as they proceeded on watching the film.

The credits rolled on as Sehun stood up to turn off the TV, he noticed Chanyeol looking intensely on the coffee table, “So… you’re the cereal thief?”

Sehun eyes darted from Chanyeol to the empty Family Size box of Oreo O’s lying on the table, he was caught red handed. He’s been stealing Jongin’s cereals for days now and munching on them for snack.

“Please don’t tell Jongin, I’ll replace them?” he shrugs, blushing a bit.

Mornings has always been chaotic. A mixture of kitchen noise and strewn clothes, bodies dragging themselves to the halls as they struggle to start the day.

“Somebody ate my Oreo O’s again! I swear I’m gonna kill you” Jongin’s eyebrows creased in half asleep fury as he throw the empty box on the waste bin, he looks at Chanyeol who’s still holding his cup of coffee mid- air, still surprised by the sudden murder threat.

Chanyeol shrugs, “Don’t know who’s eating them”.

He winks at Sehun before proceeding to the music room and getting lost there again for hours.

4.

To say that Minseok is an organized person would be the understatement of the year. He’s a clean freak, he’s a walking file case, a walking post- its and marker, he categorizes everything with precision from his clothes, to his emails, his phone apps and even food intake- it has always been A, B, Cs.

He stumbled into a pigsty that is Sehun’s bed.

“Honestly, where do you sleep?” he asked, grimacing at the pile of clothes (makeshift pillows?) in the middle of the mattress.

“In Junmyeon’s bed?”Sehun shrugs, “Now will you help me clean up or is this mess too offensive?”

Two hours and four boxes later, they can finally see the floor (and bed covers). Unbelievably, they were able to unearth a gazillion random stuff like Sehun’s accessories from MAMA days, tangles of USB wires, and half-finished music sheets. Minseok put them all in a separate box labeled Random.

“We did an amazing job”, Sehun high fived the older guy before proceeding on gulping the rest of his bottled water- sorting stuff is one hell of a chore. “I actually need to run. Junmyeon hyung’s waiting for me at the gym so… thank you so much hyung! You’re the best”, they both get up to brush the dust off their sweatpants.

That night Sehun came back to his room to find the box of Random stuff all organized. He had to stifle a smile as he sat on the bed to take a look.

Sehun pre- debut/ training pictures, a pale blue post- it note attached to a stack of Polaroid says.

Good music you should finish, post- it note attached to a stapled bundle of music staff papers.

Lip balms that are still good and how can you have so much?

Wallet lint and receipts, I don’t know if you still need them.

Pressed flowers. Why do you even have these?

iPhone cases, fifteen and counting. Who needs that much cases?

And the categories go on just as Minseok’s pale blue post its and perfectly straight handwriting. Sehun bit his lip, amused, making a mental note to get his hyung a little something for helping declutter his life big time.

5.

It happened one afternoon while they were snacking on kimbap. Yixing faked a cough before turning to Sehun.

“I’ve been thinking”, Yixing started.

“Hmm?” Sehun with a mouthful of kimbap.

He hesitates before continuing, “You know that thing you do in front of the camera?”

“What?” Sehun helped himself with another piece, the one with fish egg inside.

“Where you act all…. Cute?” Yixing swallowed, “I’ve been thinking, I think-, I would want to-“

“Why would you want to be cute?” Sehun tried to hide the amusement in his voice. Yixing doing aegyo is like equivalent to him belting out high notes on ballads- it just doesn’t make sense.

He shrugs, “I think I need a little charm. Can you teach me?”, Sehun almost choked on his tea.

“Uhhh I don’t know, it’s not like I learned aegyo, It’s natural”, Sehun snickered, enjoying the rush of blood creating a streak of blush on Yixing’s face, this has got to be a big deal for him to ask, it’s not every day that the usual cool Yixing exterior falls of like this.

“You always stick your tongue out during interviews; the fans seem to like it”, Yixing shrugs, finishing his plate of kimbap and trying to hide the embarrassment in his voice.

“That’s different, that’s out of habit”, Sehun fished out his phone and handed it to Yixing, “You can practice ummm I don’ know being cute? Just use my front camera as mirror” he abruptly stood up as Chanyeol called him from inside the studio for another round on the rap parts they’ve been practicing.

One day later, Sehun freezes as he looked at his camera roll, there has got to be at least three dozen pictures of Yixing posing in front of the camera- all sorts of funny and cute faces, he held his breath as he scrolled over them one by one. Sehun thought the older guy is cute anyway he doesn’t have to try that hard.

He gave out a big grin as he motioned to show Junmyeon the gallery of Yixing’s cute faces, but abruptly stops, thinking that he can keep all the Yixing selfies to himself- for future references, just in case the older guy needs some blackmailing or something.

Sehun snorts when he saw the pictures again, especially the ones where his tongue’s sticking out just like how Sehun does it. This can probably be their thing.

This can definitely be their thing, Sehun nodded, locking his phone and putting it back in his backpocket.

6.

Jongdae likes to play nurse. He has this keen nature of looking out for the others during rehearsals, or guestings or just about anything twenty four- seven. He always carry this black leather bag that contains essentials like scarfs, and hair products- just like everyone else, but aside from this, he never fails to carry a box of first aid kit just in case, he likes to play nurse.

Sehun slipped while rehearsing and it was fine really, until Jongdae decided to play nurse again. Grabbing at his leg and putting on a serious face like Sehun slipping during practice is the biggest deal in the world, “Does it hurt?”

Sehun hesitates, “Umm it’s okay hyung, things like this happen and—“

Jongdae proceeded to untie his sneakers, fold up his sweatpants and in one swift motion, the first aid box is at his side with Jongdae pulling out a bandage. Sehun’s ankle is starting to swell up indicating an upcoming sprain.

“I- I can just go to the clinic, you go ahead and continue practicing with the others….”,Sehun trailed, embarrassed at the thought of his hyung touching his foot.

“Nonsense”, out came an ice compress, Jongdae proceeded to get ice cubes from a nearby vending machine and slowly dab the ice bag on his foot, “Hold it for five minutes to stop the swelling, then I will take you home, I just need to tell the others”.

Jongdae came back minutes later, helping Sehun stand up and putting his arms around the younger guy for support until they managed to get inside the car. Jongdae elevates his left ankle on a pile of pillows before sitting next to him in their living room, “It doesn’t hurt anymore right?”

Sehun shook his head, “Should be fine in a couple of hours I think”, his lips, not really sure of what to say, “Thanks”.

Jongdae’s phone beeped as Sehun peeked on the screen, it was a calendar alarm, “Oh I should remind Jongin to take his eye drops now”, he dawdles, fingers swift while sending a text to Jongin who’s having a kind of eye infection lately, “Also remind me to ask Baekhyun to drink ginger tea later before sleeping, his voice is bit hoarse these days”, Jongdae smiled tightly at him before pocketing his phone and examining his foot again.

That’s when Sehun realized how lucky they are to have someone who will go the extra mile to make sure that they are all doing all right, “I’ll just take a nap, wake me up after an hour so we can bandage that up”.

Sehun nodded before patting Jongdae on the back “Thank you for playing nurse hyung”.

Jongdae’s eyes were bright, basking on recognition, “It’s nothing, you know I like playing nurse”.

7.

Baekhyun never stops talking. Somehow they realized this even before, when they were just starting, how everything fascinates him, from the smallest and insignificant topics like Chanyeol’s curls; he can talk about Chanyeol’s hair for hours. Most of the time, it’s helpful, especially during interviews when they can just laze around on Baekhyun’s spotlight as he thanks the fans and ask for more love and support and talk about their upcoming album and Junmyeon’s abs and Kyungsoo’s solo. There are times however when it gets annoying, especially at two AM when everyone’s trying to get as much sleep as they can and then Byun will be up poking whoever is beside him in bed, gently, waking them up just to talk about nonsense like how the stars collide or what would it be like if they get a collaboration with YG artists.

Baekhyun never stops talking, and they realized this even before when they were just starting, and five years later, everyone already found the perfect survival skill to endure Baekhyun’s nonstop banters:

Just agree with everything (Junmyeon).

Always have your earphones with you (Kyungsoo).

Reply in Chinese (Yixing).

Act busy with your emails (Minseok).

Share earphones with Kyungsoo (Jongin).

Actually listen and laugh with him, that is, when you’re not too tired (Chanyeol).

Find an excuse to leave the room (Jongdae).

Completely block out everything and nod nod nod (Sehun).

They were in some hotel room, the night quiet as everybody has already retreated to bed, getting ready for tomorrow’s fan signing. Sehun was in the dimly lit kitchen, looking absently inside the refrigerator for something to eat when Baekhyun appeared beside him to get a glass of water.

“You’re not sleepy yet?”

“Am hungry”, Sehun poked his head inside looking for yogurt, and finally succeeded after some rummaging. He was about to pop open the plastic container-

“Hold on”, Baekhyun said reaching for the cupboard above his head and producing a pack of ketchup flavored potato chips. Sehun looked confused.

“How do you—“

“Oh you mentioned before that you like eating your yogurt with potato chips so... I remember stuff like that”, Baekhyun smiled sheepishly.

He actually listens, Sehun realized, he talks too much but he listens. Sehun felt ashamed for all those times Baekhyun blabbers and he didn’t pay much attention. He took another spoon and shared the yogurt with him.

Sehun his lips before starting, “What do you think would it be like if we get a collaboration with YG artists?”

Baekhyun smiled, the kind where it reaches his eyes, and Sehun knew from then on, he will listen to every word as he nod nod nod, absorbing Baekhyun’s thoughts and how awesome it would be to do a ballad with Park Bom.

8.

It took a while for Sehun to get used to Kyungsoo’s sharing nature at first, but four- five years into being bandmates, he is no longer wondering where his red leather jacket disappeared to, or his Lacoste belt, or that pair of gloves he got as a gift from fans. There are a lot of things he trade with Kyungsoo- his cashmere sweater for Kyungsoo’s silver ring, his medicated mint lip balm for Kyungsoo’s hair wax and the list goes on, and now it’s just natural to find pieces of Kyungsoo in his bed, or in his dresser; he doesn’t even remember which of the things he owns are his to begin with.

The clock reads 10:45 PM when he stood up for a stretch, they’ve been inside the recording studio for hours, listening and practicing and recording the same songs over and over, fatigue has started to creep in, as evidenced by Junmyeon’s impatience and Jongin’s heavy sighs. Sehun stood up, “I’m getting coffee. Who wants?”, everybody raise their hands, Chanyeol murmured decaf please, eyes still glued to the keyboard.

“I’ll go with you”, Kyungsoo stood up and buttoned his coat.

Sehun rubs his palms together as they walk down the road to a cluster of restaurants lined up near the studio, steps clacking unharmoniously on the pavement as he walked behind Kyungsoo who is also rubbing his shoulders as they inhale the chilly Seoul air.

The smell of fresh coffee woke Sehun up a bit as they both carry take out containers and head back to the building, Sehun sneezed as he felt some sort of cold coming.

“Hold on to this for a bit”, Kyungsoo handed him the take out bag as he fished out something from the pocket of his coat and wraps a scarf around Sehun’s neck.

“Thanks” Sehun muttered, sniffing, giving back the take out bag to Kyungsoo. The scarf did a good job of warming him up, it smelled familiar, it smelled a bit of Kyungsoo’s perfume and some body wash.

Sehun stopped on his tracks, “This is mine” he said, sniffing once more and being positive that he smells some sort of buttery almond scent- his body wash, “This scarf is mine”.

Kyungsoo smiled at him, amusement visible in his eyes, “No, that’s mine”.

“This is mine, I can smell my body wash, you borrowed this a few days ago and didn’t return it” Sehun argued, quite sure now.

“No, you borrowed it from me some time ago” Kyungsoo shrugs.

At this point, Sehun doesn’t actually remember truthfully who the scarf belongs to, or who borrowed what, they are too deep into sharing things that they have completely lost track.

“What’s mine is yours anyway, right?” Kyungsoo gave him a warm smile, freeing one hand and adjusting the scarf on Sehun’s neck tightly and snugly.

Sehun nodded, what’s the point in arguing, “What’s mine is yours”.