“Aish, Yixing, pay more attention when I talk to you”

“Uh? Oh, sorry, I was thinking”

“You think too much”

Lay has gone through this mini-like dialogue more times than he cares to count. When EXO still had 12 members – in his heart they’ll always be 12, but to those who left, he only wishes the best – Yifan used to scold him for being so forgetful. He would sigh then ask why Yixing had forgotten whatever was back then, and he would simply say that he was thinking about other things. Minseok would sigh like the leader, while Jongdae cracked some joke, Zitao laughed fondly and Luhan would look lost, having been distracted at the moment.

After they – Yifan, then Luhan, then Zitao – went to live their lives the way they truly wanted, things didn’t really change regarding this. Junmyeong easily assumed Yifan’s place as the one to scold him, but the leader did sounded gentler, at the same time he managed to mean what he was saying, making the dancer promise him to try to not to think that much and live the real world more seriously.

Yixing promised at that time, as well as all the times after that, since he continued to think just as much.

He thinks – see, thinking again – that thinking is better than speaking. You can hurt others with your words, can say something embarrassing that will make people laugh at you and can gag and make a fool out of yourself in front of dozens – since he’s an idol, hundreds, thousands – of people you don’t know. When you think, you can organize your head, can notice things in the surroundings that you wouldn’t if wasted away talking.

Besides, even after all those years as the center of a spotlight, he’s not exactly comfortable on it when he’s not dancing or singing. Endless interviews, prying eyes, whispered words; this all can be quite overwhelming, so he prefers to stays quiet, thinking and watching.

“Yah, Yixing-ssi, can you understand?”

“… Yes”

“So why didn’t you say anything?”

 – a shy smile, a roll of shoulders, a short phrase to make them forget about him; he can’t answer he was thinking about when the program would finally be over –

It’s hard to be so… pensive in a group where everyone feels the need to make their opinions known. He sticks to Minseok ‘cause he’s quiet too, and yet, he feels like the older band member isn’t like him. Minseok stays silent because he’d rather watch than be watched, not because he has too many things in his head – had he done well in the show? Had he sang the lyrics clearly and without cracking? The interviewer keeps talking, he wants to go home and rest; SM’s really crazy; Zitao and Luhan called?!

There’s only one person in the world who understands him.

.

.

“Oe, hyung! Hyung! Leo-hyung!”

“…”

“N-hyung’s calling, we have to train that move Ken-hyung can’t get”

“… Ok”

“What were you thinking about?”

“Thoughts”

“Eeeh?”

Taekwoon never really bothered with people who look at him like he is some sort of another world being, at least, never did until he debuted. The entertainment world is one full of wolves ready to jump onto your jugular, avidly waiting for a slip to produce a scandal. On his trainee days, he still could hide behind Hakyeon’s bright personality, let the leader – the eldest, the only one who dared to talk to him – cover him from prying eyes. With VIXX, he learned to accept the others, just like they learned to accept him.

The fans aren’t a problem, in fact, they seem to think his ‘poker face’ it’s intriguing, and that for him to slowly open up is the best show on television, better than any dorama, program, anything.  The members are already accustomed, but they don’t understand, Hakyeon included – how could he? The brightest, most talkative person on Earth – so sometimes they ask the reason to why he’s so quiet, why he looks so absentminded most of the time – involuntarily putting that ‘chic’ expressionless face.

On these times, Leo answer is quite simple: he’s thinking. For him, to think is so much more productive than talking; he can appreciate the world better, notice things that would pass unnoticed to distracted eyes. Can read into people’s true intentions because he wasn’t babbling away needless words.

Words can hurt. You can hurt someone deeply because of ill placed phrases, and he more than once was in the bad end of them. Talking can make you say stupid things live, and embarrass yourself in front of all viewers – on his case, be it dozens, hundreds, thousands – besides giving the band a negative or dumb image.

Hakyeon worries – of course he does, he worries about everyone, especially him – and makes him promise to try and open himself more. He swears he’ll try, if only to see his best friend breathing a little more freely, one less burden on his too skinny shoulders.

Still, he thinks.

“Are you annoyed, Leo-ssi?”

“…”

“Wah, you really can’t say what he’s thinking right now”

“…”

– a embarrassed blush, a peek of jungsuri as he lowers his head; he can’t say he was thinking about how many minutes he had to endure before leaving the interview –

He’s a natural perfectionist, so it’s common that his thoughts often go to his performances, both vocally and dancelike. He beats himself up every time he commits a mistake and forgets to sleep and eat as his line of thinking goes to the ways he could get better. Taekwoon is closer with Hakyeon, but in these moments, where he needs to be left alone with his head, he sticks together with Hongbin and Wonshik, the former the quietest after him – the visual is still too insecure, and fears expressing his true opinions –, and the latter one who doesn’t care about having a monosyllabic conversation.

There’s only person in the world who understands him.

.

.

They met like most idols meet these days: the backstage. EXO and VIXX are placed side by side, and soon their leaders engage in one conversation about troublesome and childish members, making said troublesome and childish members join to turn the three lives hell. Wonshik pairs with Zitao, Sanghyuk seems to have fun on leading Sehun and Jongin in; Jaehwan happily gets together with Jongdae and Chanyeol and Hongbin watches with Minseok, Luhan, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, the five of them betting which group with make the leaders lose their heads.

Taekwoon and Yixing watch too, but silently, each one thinking to themselves how the hell did they end up with their respective band members.

It’s only when Yixing comments about being hungry and Taekwoon answers, saying something about an almost invisible stand of food that they click. No one ever noticed that place before.

Words are not necessary as they stare into the other’s eyes, seeing more than any other friend, band member, manager, ever saw.

Taekwoon smiles softly, and Yixing does the same, white teeth exposed in one big smile.

.

.

They continue to talk to each other – more like, sending texts to each other, they still aren’t comfortable with sharing too many words – and a friendship is born quietly, similar to their personalities. They don’t rush or run out of topics, slowly learning more about preferences alike and divergent.

But life as an idol is without privacies, and soon cameras catch them talking to each other, sharing smiles and personal space. The fans of both fandoms call the interaction VIXXO, others start to ship – oh, all idols are quite aware of the things one can find in the internet if searched – and even in interviews they’re asked about the relationship they share.

VIXX and EXO members say Taekwoon and Yixing were born to be together, two pieces of a coin, each other’s half of the orange.

It’s when Luhan leaves – the band shaken after Yifan went away so suddenly – that they both accept the true. Yixing calls Taekwoon late at night, crying his eyes out, and the older is quick to go and meet him. They eat cheap ramen at a convenience store, and kiss under the street lights; Yixing tastes salty of tears and sour for the ramen’s flavor on Taekwoon’s lips, while Taekwoon tastes bittersweet, the candy he ate after the ramen sticking and burning its flavor on the younger’s taste buds.

They don’t say anything, but both think it’s the best kiss they ever had. And they don’t need to say anything else as their lips meet in synchrony, thoughts clear in their eyes.

.

.

They’ve been dating for more than one year, but it’s the first Christmas they commemorate together. EXO’s busy with promotion, and VIXX is full of interviews and individual schedules, but they manage to meet – after Yixing begged Junmyeong to cover for him, promising to train twice as hard and Taekwoon looked at Hakyeon with puppy eyes, melting the older and leaving him with no ways to deny – in a secluded place, a small beach in Incheon.

They eat silently and there’s no really exchange of words, both satisfied with the easy silence and the meaningful gazes.

Yixing thinks how lucky he is. Taekwoon is shyer than himself, too deep into his shell to open up with just anyone. Even with so many friends – VIXX a social K-Pop butterfly, being close to INFINITE, BTOB, U-KISS, B1A4, SHINee and some other idols – the older boy never shares his deepest thoughts, letting them visible for only himself to see. He doesn’t press Yixing to talk or get out of his comfort zone. He’s warm and donates all into their relationship, no matter how busy they both are, texting cute emojis and phrases of incentive; a secret box of sweets and midnight surprise dates in coffee shops. His hands are always warm, and he’s tender with them, sweet in his kisses, loving in his stares and beautiful in his silence.

Taekwoon thinks how lucky he is. To have someone like Yixing, so pure and innocent, aware of this world dirtiness but that prefers to believe in the best of people, is like a dream. EXO is giant, and in the beginning he was so insecure that he almost blew everything, in a fit of sadness and confusion. The younger soothed him calmly, affirming he didn’t need to doubt them; he was loved, so, so much. Yixing himself is very shy when it comes to demonstrations, but every now and then Taekwoon finds a card on VIXX’s waiting room with a heartfelt message written, or an invitation for his favorite dinner place. His hands aren’t warm or cold, but are soft like feathers, and his lips passionate, words that not once were needed poured into never-ending kisses.

And under Christmas lights, sitting on a red striped picnic cloth, Yixing’s back against Taekwoon’s chest, they whisper their thoughts about meaningless things, pleased for once in clearly sharing them with each other.

They kiss and exchange small gifts: Taekwoon gives him a ring identical to the one he wears, smiling softly at the implication; Yixing offers a necklace with a ‘L’ pendant, cheekily showing one identical already on his neck, turning to hook it around the other’s neck. A kiss follows the action, as they giggle into each other’s mouth.

Lay thinks; Leo thinks too.

They can think together:

“I love you”

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Starlights, EXO-Ls, please, give this pairing love~

VIXXO 4evah~ s2