Nobody's Ready for Adulthood

Not Peter Pan

Seungcheol sighed at the sight in front of him. It wasn't uncommon for Seungkwan to be tucked up in a corner somewhere crying his poor little heart out. The poor boy was almost too sensitive for his own good.

Hansol would no doubt be looking for his fellow '98 liner if he wasn't busy. If he was busy, any task he was set to would almost certainly end up subpar, and he'd frustrate anyone who had to deal with him with how vacant he'd seem.

But, Seungcheol was the general group leader, the eldest, and it was his job to try help the other members through their problems. Even members who were reluctant to let others see their hurts.

"Seungkwan?" he approached cautiously, walking towards the vocalist as one would approach a frightened animal. Slowly, carefully, lest it run away.

Seungkwan looked up, tear tracks down his cheeks, eyes swollen, nose red and leaking snot. "Yeah?"

Seungcheol sat down next to him, knees tucked up to his chest mirroring Seungkwan. He had to remain casual, or he'd scare off Seungkwan. This didn't seem like Seungkwan's ordinary case of home sickness.

"You wanna chat?"

Seungkwan hiccupped. "Hansol keeps telling me I should."

Seungcheol waited. If Hansol had been telling Seungkwan to talk to someone, how serious could it be? Hansol normally listened to all manner of worries from everyone in the group, giving wise words he'd soon forget about. If he was urging Seungkwan to talk to somebody else, it must be bothering Seungkwan a lot.

"What's it like being an adult?" Seungkwan finally asked.

Seungcheol felt a wave of relief roll through him. He'd had this conversation with a few other members before. He still had to approach it carefully, however, because he wasn't sure how delicate this topic was for Seungkwan.

He shrugged, going for the casual approach. "Not that different from being a teenager, right now. I'm sure it'll change over time, though. Is that what's bothering you?"

Seungkwan hiccupped. "Yeah. Hansol's sick of hearing about it and wants me to talk to you. He thinks you'll offer some insight he can't."

Seungcheol let out a bitter chuckle. "Sometimes I think he's more wise than I am. You scared of growing up? Think it's gonna crash into you like a truck and you'll end up smeared across the road of life?"

Seungkwan nodded, tears still escaping his eyes. "Hansol says I don't have to worry about anything - that the company'll look after everything for me. But," the vocalist took in a shuddered breath, "what about when I'm not an idol anymore? I'll just be a normal guy, hopefully past thirty if things go well for the group, without any idea how to be a thirty-odd year old."

Seungcheol straightened his legs out in front of him and let his hands fall into his lap. He'd worried about the same thing countless times. Neither he or any of the boys he had to try guide through life would be ready for life as a functioning member of society when the time came.

Seungcheol had talked to Doogi and Seventeen's managers about his worries many times - who else could the leader turn to? The members had him, he couldn't burden them with his worries. The managers and Doogi had told him no one was ready for adulthood when the time came, people just accepted it and got used to it.

The next words he said would either raise Seungkwan's spirits, or cause another round of crying until Hansol found the boy and comforted him. Seungcheol deliberated, carefully constructing his sentence.

"It's just one of those things you get used to - nobody's ready for it, even people who weren't ever trainees." Yeah, that still sounded casual and got the point across. Seungcheol gave himself a mental pat on the back.

"Who told you that? You aren't smart enough to come up with it on your own." Seungkwan choked out a chuckle at his own insult.

"Doogi and our managers." Seungcheol stood up and offered a hand to Seungkwan to help him up. Seungkwan took it and pulled himself up.

"Thanks. I'm still scared, but you really helped." There was a pause. "Are you scared?" Seungkwan asked, his voice small.

"Am I scared? I'm terrified out of my damn mind. Not only do I have to be an adult, but I have to make sure none of you kids fly off the rails and at least seem to deal with coming into your own. If any of you guys fall apart, there'll be people who'll blame it on me because I'm oldest and the overall leader."

Seungkwan blinked. "I hadn't thought about all the pressure on you." He wrapped his arms around the elder. "I promise to try help with Chan and Hansol," Seungkwan told him before wandering off in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

Seungcheol stood, frozen. He needed to find Jihoon, see if the purple haired boy knew Seungkwan had been fearing adulthood, see if he knew how long. (See if Jihoon knew how Seungcheol had missed it.)

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