"Hey Hansol?"

 

Seungkwan's usually loud voice reached out into the darkness. Vernon heard him, just barely. Like how he'd heard him every other time Seungkwan wanted to delve into life's terrifying thoughts at ungodly hours of the night.

 

"Yeah, Seungkwan," Hansol answered. He heard Seungkwan shift, felt the blankets move, then felt Seungkwan's breath ghost across his face.

 

"I was just thinking..." There was a note of hesitation in Seungkwan's tone.

 

Hansol knew he wasn't sleeping that night.

 

The rapper pulled his friend (they weren't dating - they had a dating ban for another couple years) closer to him, capturing him in his arms. "That's a dangerous thing to be doing this time of night," he whispered in the vocalist's ear.

 

Seungkwan nudged into Hansol, wiggling so they were even closer. "I just realised we have to grow up sometime. Become independent. Being an idol won't stop that - there'll come a time when we don't have staff and the company to do everything for us."

 

Hansol sighed. "We all have each other to lean on. The older guys'll help, y'know?"

 

Seungkwan didn't like that answer. "I mean, one day we'll be adults. We'll be expected to act like adults and have adult opinions." Seungkwan paused, and Hansol knew the other boy had tears running down his cheeks.

 

"We'll have to dress like adults and speak like adults and have adult responsibilities. I feel like I barely got to be a teenager with all the training we did. I'm not ready to jump from being a child to an adult."

 

Hansol brought one of his hands up to wipe away Seungkwan's tears. "I'm sure it isn't as scary as you think. Maybe you should talk to Seungcheol?"

 

Seungkwan shook his head. "I sound like an idiot. Who's scared of growing up? I'm not Peter Pan."

 

There was a faint rustling. The two boys held their breath, not wanting to be caught out. Seungkwan was crying.

 

"Yes, please, talk to Seungcheol. But in the morning. I want to sleep," someone slurred, voice hardly audible and thick with tiredness. The '98 liners breathed. It was just Jihoon, their secrets were safe.

 

Seungkwan nodded. "I'll talk to Seungcheol about it."

 

Hansol smiled and rolled over, dragging Seungkwan with him. His best friend (not boyfriend, they had a dating ban) would be fine. He would be getting some sleep, after all.

 

Growing up was scary for him, too - but he had to pretend for Seungkwan. Act like years of training hadn't stunted his emotional and mental growth.

 

They'd all be fine - they had to at least act like it. They were idols.