The crowd roared as we all bowed for the second time on stage. Holding hands- standing side by side with each other. I smiled. I faked a smile, as I held his hand tighter, staring at the figure next to me. He’s smiling ear-to-ear, enjoying the applause the crowd offered. Feeling the moment. As if the cheers are his life, as if he lived to be a performer.

I think that is what I adored about him. No- I think it’s his voice that made me head over heels. Or maybe it’s because of how he dances gracefully.  No, maybe his wishful thinking made my heart flutter. Or maybe him being ambitious made me fall in love with him. Or.. maybe-- does it really matter? I’m in love with him, period.

I almost tripped on somebody's shoes when I tried to catch up his pace as we all left the stage.

“Kyuhyun!!” I called him in his name.

Slowly he turned his head to look at me. The all-smile-performer is now gone. The charismatic Kyuhyun a while ago, had disappeared.

“oh?”

“ah~” I smiled timidly. “I thought we should walk together.” but still speak my mind confidently.

There was a little bit of mockery in his smiles. A glint of sarcasm in his actions as he held my hand. Swaying it, slowly. Caressing it slowly, as he spoke those painful words. As he told me off, and rushed to the dressing room that’s assigned to him.

Yeah, maybe he’s right.

--

A memory suddenly disturbed my peace as I sat in front of the mirror.

We were in Busan that time for an event that we were invited to come. He was lost in his thoughts while I got lost staring at him.

He was of course on his phone, playing that silly game of running cookie. Probably trying to beat his best friend’s score again, when he finally averted his eyes to the people around and caught me staring at him. He smirked, “What?”

I raised my eyebrows, “What’s what?” I asked playing dumb.

“What’s on your mind while staring at me?” His eyes were suspicious and judging.

I looked at him as if I didn't know what he meant. I looked at him keeping the thoughts I had for him. He shook his head, “Nevermind. Hey! Who’s up for a bottle of beer?” he asked everybody, but they were too busy to answer him so he asked again and Hyukjae told him off. “Hey, we’re here for this show, stop drinking. We’re singing tomorrow.”

“We don't go to out of town events often, so let’s go out and enjoy this vacation!” he tried to convince the temporary leader, but only shook his head and turned his attention to Donghae.

“Kyuhyun, I already told you this, but you seemed not to hear me a while ago so I'm going to say it again. We’re here for this event and No, this is not a vacation but a part of our job.” Shindong scolded and our Maknae could only sigh in defeat.

I was a little hesitant that time as far as I could remember, and up to now.. I can't recall when and where I got that courage to sit beside him despite of him being so distant after he felt something was going on in me.

“Why don't we sneak out and grab a drink later after practice?”  I said and the smile that stretched his lips was enough for an answer.

**

We were sitting on the cold bench by the beach, holding our own beer staring at the sky when he asked me.. “You.. Do you like me?” as he averted his eyes to me, as if he’s staring deep into my