Burnt Gingerbread and Ugly Sweaters. 

Christmastime had always been Jongdae’s favourite time of the year. It was always so beautiful during the holidays. The sparkling lights, soft falling snowflakes and over priced seasonal drinks never failed to put a smile on his face. It was hard to be miserable with so much joy around him. That is, when he wasn’t stuck with his idiotic members.

There hadn’t been a steady moment at the dorms since the season of holly jolly jumble had begun. With all of Sehun and Jongin’s last minute shopping, Kyungsoo’s casserole making and Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s horrible renditions of Mariah Carey songs, he swore he hadn’t gotten a single second of peace and quiet.

It was now Christmas Eve, and Jongdae was determined to have a nice, noiseless day all to himself before Christmas, without any hustle and bustle from the other members. The dorm had been silent for at least fifteen minutes (which was a new record) so he carefully slid out of his hiding spot in his room and seated himself in the deserted living room with a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and a holiday romance novel in the other.

“Ah,” Jongdae hummed to himself, taking a tiny sip from his mug of steaming goodness, “Peace at last.”

“Peace at last?” Minseok echoed from beside him, and Jongdae choked on his drink.

“Minseok, what the heck?” Jongdae growled, turning to the boy beside him. “You can’t just sneak up on me like that. Where’d you even come from?”

Minseok shrugged a little, “Sorry. I was just around. What are you doing?”

“Reading, obviously.” Jongdae said, motioning to his book. “Why?”

“Not for long. Junmyeon’s in another one of his holiday moods, so he wants all of the members to come watch a movie or something. I’m not really sure; I was too busy looking at the Starbuck’s holiday menu to listen. Did you know they’re still selling pumpkin spice lattes?”

Jongdae groaned. “Another movie? Doesn’t he remember what happened the last time?”

“I think it’s just an excuse for him to open another bottle of wine. Ever since Sehun showed him those pictures of Yifan bald, he hasn’t really been the same. He really needs a new coping mechanism.” Minseok sighed softly. “Maybe it’ll turn out better than last time?” He added hopefully.

“Yeah, maybe.” Jongdae replied, but he knew that nothing ever went right during movie time.

Just on queue, the other members began to pour into the room, loud and mostly grumbling.

“Junmyeon, do we have to watch a movie?” Baekhyun complained as he trailed behind his leader. “Can’t we do something more fun, like truth or dare? Or spin the bottle? Or strip poker?”

“Yeah, not happening.” Junmyeon said, plopping himself down in an armchair. “Christmas movies are much better. It’s a nice, family friendly bonding experience and it’ll be good for everyone. Don’t you think so Jongin?”

“I didn’t eat the leftover chicken, it was Jjanggu.” Jongin mumbled half asleep in response, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.

Junmyeon rubbed at his temples as he felt a headache growing. “Maybe we should open another bottle of wine.”

“I think strip poker’s a great family bonding experience! Don’t you remember last time when we were drunk and Kyungsoo lost twice in a row?” Chanyeol added from across the room, roaring laughter following afterwards. Baekhyun laughed along just as loudly.

Jongdae was pretty sure overheard Kyungsoo mutter something from underneath his breath that sounded a lot like, ‘All I want for Christmas is to bathe in the blood of Byun and Park.’ with demonic chanting after it, but he was sure it was just his imagination.

“When’s Yixing coming back?” Sehun asked to no one in particular, scrolling through his phone in a bored fashion. “We can’t start anything without him.”

“He should be back soon, his plane landed a while ago.” Jongdae replied. He perked up when he heard the doorbell ring. “Ah, that’s probably him. I’ll go get it.”

He gave his hot chocolate for Minseok to hold and skipped to the door with a smile on his face. Maybe if Yixing were around, everyone would be a bit happier.

He flung open the door, but his joyfully expression immediately faded when he saw a lanky beanpole with sleek black hair smiling back at him. Taemin. Jongdae could already see the dorm up in flames.

“I’m here to see Jongin wearing a baggy dog themed Christmas sweater.” Taemin announced. Jongdae slammed the door in his face.

The last time the SHINee members came over for a visit, he had to spend three hours cleaning up the mess and another two apologizing to his manager. He was not going to do that again.

“Who was at the door?” Baekhyun asked as he saw Jongdae make his way back to his seat.

“No one. It must’ve been the wind or something.” Jongdae replied.

‘Hey! How dare you shut out your most esteemed hyungs? We decide to bless you with our presence for the holidays and you lock us out? We’re your guests of honour!” A shrill voice yelled from outside, catching the attention of all the members.

“Jongdae … that’s Kibum’s voice at the door.” Junmyeon told him.

“You’re hearing things.” Jongdae mumbled.

Junmyeon narrowed his eyes. “Jongdae, go open the door.”

“No.”

“Jongdae …” Junmyeon said in a threatning tone.

“But Junmyeon, please,” Jongdae begged. "I don't wannaaaa." 

“Jongdae, now.”

Jongdae dragged himself out of his seat with a grumble and flung open the door to see Kibum standing at the doorstep with a bitter expression on his face surrounded by the other SHINee members.

“Why are y’all here?” Jongdae deadpanned, not even trying to hide his unenthusiastic tone.

“To have fun of course! Christmas spirit!” Jinki said cheerfully, letting himself inside.

“Yeah, don’t be such a downer Chen Chen.” Jonghyun added, patting him on the shoulder, “Brighten up a little! It’s almost Christmas! Just relax.”

“Yeah, relax. Right.” Jongdae replied sarcastically.

Movie night at the EXO dorm always turned out horribly. There was a churning in Jongdae’s stomach warning him of what was to come.

It was going to be one long night.

Kyungsoo hummed a happy holiday tune as he stooped down into the oven and pulled out a freshly made batch of cookies in his snowflake kitchen mittens and matching apron. He always loved baking. It included all of his favourite things; eating and being alone.

“Kyungsoo!” A cheery voice called to him, startling him out of his zen. He turned to see a happy leader dressed up in a bright Christmas sweater with his dongsaeng.

“Hi Jinki-hyung, Hi Minho.” Kyungsoo said, setting down his cookies to cool on the tray.

“Whatcha baking?” Jinki asked, peering over his shoulder.

“Oh, just some gingerbread men.” Kyungsoo said, pointing to his baked goods.

“Oh, they’re shaped like the other members!” Jinki said excitedly, pointing to a cookie with big eyes and a heart shaped smile. “This one’s you, right?”

Kyungsoo nodded slightly. “Yeah. I made all of them.” He pointed to one cookie with big ears and another with a little sprout growing out of the top of its head. “I really like baking this time of year. It helps relieve some of the stress of the holidays.” In a swift movement, he smashed the two cookies underneath his fist.

“A-Ah, I can see …” Jinki said with his voice wavering. “I’ve never tried to bake gingerbread before.”

“Well, you can help me with this batch then.” Kyungsoo said, waving him over happily. “I could use an extra helping hand anyways.”

“Really? I’d love to help!” Jinki exclaimed, bouncing over happily.

“U-Uhm, Jinki, maybe it’d be best if you didn’t …” Minho started off, but Jinki gave him a look of pure innocence and wonder, and he immediately shut up.

“What was that?” Jinki asked as Kyungsoo began to help him put on his apron.

“Nothing. Go bake. Have fun.” Minho said in the cheeriest voice he could. For some reason, he could just feel it wasn’t going to end well at all. 

Jongdae sat off to the side, intensely watching over everyone extremely grumpy, his now cold mug of hot chocolate back into his hand. He had decided to take upon the responsibility of making sure absolutely nothing went wrong. He did not want to be cleaning up another mess on Christmas day.

So far, surprisingly, everything seemed to be going smoothly. His eyes scanned across the room. Minseok and Kibum were off to the side trying to comfort Junmyeon with fat free eggnog, Jonghyun and Chanyeol were exchanging mix tapes, Sehun was glued to his phone, Taemin and Jongin had been under the mistletoe for the past thirteen minutes (and would probably stay there for the rest of the night) and Kyungsoo was over in the kitchen with Jinki close behind him.

It was peaceful almost. He knew it wouldn’t last for long.

The doorbell broke him out of his thoughts, and he stood up to go answer it, seeing everyone else was too distracted to be bothered. He couldn’t of been happier when he opened the door and saw a very pleased looking dimpled man.

“Yixing! You’re back!” Jongdae cried happily, practically pouncing on him in a hug.

“Jongdae!” Yixing said as he hugged him back. “Hey. You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I’m not.” Jongdae told Yixing as he slinked away from him. “I’m trying to keep the dorm in order. It’s not an easy task. I swear something’s going to explode any second now.”

“Well,” Yixing said, mischief lacing his smile. “You will be once I show you my presents!”

“Presents?” Jongdae repeated uneasily. “What presents?”

 Yixing swung open the door widely to reveal a very tall, very bald man alongside a panda like male standing on the doorstep beside him.

Jongdae’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Yifan! Zitao!” He practically threw himself at them.

“Surprise! I brought them back for the holidays!” Yixing said joyfully. “Isn’t it a great present?" 

“Wait …” Jongdae said halfway through hugging Tao. “Isn’t there someone missing?”

“Oh.” Yixing glanced around. “I swear Luhan was here a second ago. Maybe he just …”

“Out of my way! Move!” A voice yelled as he pushed past the members at the doorstep. Once he got through, he rushed down the hall. “Minseokkie! Sehunnie! I’m back!”

“There he is.” Yixing said, watching as he ran inside. “He’s a lot happier than I expected.”

“Anyways, ignoring that,” Jongdae pulled back from his hugs. “This is a great present! Everyone’s going to be happy to see you. Sehun and Kyungsoo and Minseok and … “ Jongdae’s faced paled. “J-Junmyeon.”

If Jongdae knew anything, it would be that he remembered overhearing Junmyeon vowing to strangle Yifan with his own purple hair extensions the next time he saw him. He doubted he was lying when he said it.

“Right, Junmyeon.” Yifan said thoughtfully. “I’ve been meaning to talk to him for a while.”

He began to make his way to the living room, Zitao trailing behind him, but Jongdae grabbed at Tao’s arm before he could take his next steps.

“Okay, Tao listen to me. Unless you don’t want this dorm to burn down in flames, you have to do something for me. Distract Junmyeon from Yifan for the rest of the night. Make sure he doesn’t see him at all.” Jongdae told him seriously.

“What? Why me? I don’t wanna.” Zitao whined, stomping his feet childishly.

Jongdae sighed. “There are these new cute designer bags I saw online. I’ll buy you …”

“Say no more. I’m the man for the job. Leave it to me. Besides, how hard could it be?” Zitao said, patting him on the back. He quickly skipped past Yifan straight to Junmyeon, promptly turning him around before he saw Yifan enter.

“Junmyeon! I’m visiting!” Zitao said cheerfully, wrapping his arms around him. “Didn’t you miss me?”

Junmyeon paused, cheeks flushed from drunkenness, and his lip trembled. “Y-Y-You smell like Yifan!” He wept into Zitao’s sweatshirt.

“Hm.” Zitao thought to himself. “This may be harder than I thought.”

Jongdae sat off to the side quietly, keeping a close watch over everyone in the room wordlessly. Everything was currently going smoothly, and Zitao was doing a great job keeping Junmyeon distracted, even if his method was seeing how much alcohol he could consume without keeling over.

It was almost peaceful again. Jongdae felt a smile creeping onto his face.

“Dickhead deer!”

“Bubble tea hoe!”

Jongdae grumbled, rubbing at his temples. “What is it now?”

“Luhan and Sehun are having a couple’s fight over an instagram picture.” Kibum told him. “I’m not really sure why, but it sure as hell is entertaining to watch. Just look.”

Jongdae glanced over to see the two in a heated argument.

“Well, at least I didn’t go sleeping around with the entire cast of Running Man China!” Sehun spat.

“At least I can actually get laid! How long have you been chasing around that mirror Anna kelp girl?” Luhan shot back at him.

“It’s Mir-an-da Kerr! How hard is it to get that name right?! “ Sehun said, emphasizing each syllable.

“I hate you!” Luhan yelled.

“I hate you more!” Sehun yelled back.

Jongdae groaned. “It’s like I’m living in a really badly written drama.”

“I know!” Kibum said happily. “Isn’t it great?”

While Jongdae was busy handling his new problem, so was Zitao.

Junmyeon was curled up in his arms, a glass of wine in one hand and a stuffed teddy panda bear in the other. Tao always kept an extra plush toy in his bags at all times, just in case it came in handy (and, most of the times, it did.)

“You know, I wasn’t asking for a lot.” Junmyeon sniffled. “I just wanted to debut like my hyungs and lead a peaceful life as an idol. When Yifan left, I thought it was my fault. Was it my fault? Am I a bad leader? Am I a bad mother?”

“No, no, of course not.” Tao comforted him, his hair. “You’re great at everything, really.”

“You’re lying! I am a bad wife!” Junmyeon cried, taking another swig from his wine glass. “It’s my fault everyone left! I’m a bad leader and everyone hates meeee!”

“Okay, I think that’s enough comfort wine for now.” Zitao said, snatching the glass out of his hand and setting it down on the table beside him.

“You know, sometimes I think I can still hear his voice …” Junmyeon sighed.

“AYO, WASSUP CHANYEOL? I HEARD YOUR MIXTAPE ON SOUNDCLOUD. IT WAS FIRE.”

Tao froze as Junmyeon perked up beside him.

“W-Was that Yifan?” Junmyeon asked, trying to peer behind him.

“No, no.” Tao hushed him, handing the glass of wine back over to him. “You’re hearing things. Have some more comfort wine.”

Jongdae sat in-between two fuming flower boys, both with their arms crossed and lips pouted. He had decided it would be best to give the two some space, even if it was just a couple inches of it. “Now, I don’t want anymore fighting. Apologize.” He scolded them.

“Fine.” Luhan grumbled. “I’m sorry … Sorry that Sehun still can’t hold a note.”

Jongdae sighed. “Not this again.”

“Well, I’m sorry Luhan’s album was a huge flop.” Sehun muttered underneath his breath.

Luhan gritted his teeth. “What. Did. You. Say?”

Sehun spoke up bitterly. “I said your album was horrible. A mistake. It was just a bunch of weak rapping and auto tune. I’m surprised you even made a dime or those crap excuses for songs. You can’t dance either. Junmyeon has better free styling than you.“  

Luhan looked like he was about to explode. The only other time Jongdae had seen Luhan so angry is when Baekhyun had bought him a princess dress for Halloween and told him he would be the fairest of them all. His cheeks were as red as their wolf era outfits.

But, as soon as the anger came, it left, and he was back to normal within a couple of seconds.

“You know what, it doesn’t even matter what you say. I don’t care.” Luhan told him plainly.

“’That Good Good’ was the worst song I’ve ever heard in my life.” Sehun deadpanned.

Luhan snapped in an instant. He shoved Jongdae out of the way and pounced on Sehun, grabbing the nearest decoration, a sparkly pink stocking (curtsey of Kibum himself) and wrapped it around the younger’s neck.

“Take it back!” Luhan screamed. “Take it back you brat!”

“Help me get this stupid deer off of him! He’s going to kill the maknae on Christmas Eve!” Jongdae yelled, trying it best to tug Luhan off of the flailing noodle boy. It took four people in total to get him off (though he was little, he was willing to put up a fight) and thirty minutes (and two cups of coffee) for Minseok to calm him down.

“Ugh, what a headache.” Jongdae grumbled, watching as Luhan sat curled up on the couch cradling a coffee mug in his hand and Sehun off to the side, being comforted by Kibum. “What else could go wrong?”

Minseok nervously laughed, tugging on the sleeve to his sweater. “Uh, I wouldn’t say that if I were you?”

Jongdae looked up. “Huh? Why not?”

Minseok pointed over to where Junmyeon and Zitao were standing. Right in front of them was Yifan.

“Oh god no.”

“Junmyeon! I’ve been looking for you this whole time!” Yifan said, obliviously happy. “Wow, it’s been a long time since we last saw each other! How are you doing? Still good? You look nice with that brownish hair colour.”

Zitao watched as Junmyeon started to shake. “U-Uhm, Fanfan, maybe you should talk to him a little later, like, not now.”

 “Huh? Why not?” Yifan asked dumbly. “I just want to have a little chat with Myeonnie.”

“Y-You … You … You dumb half boiled egg!” Junmyeon screeched. “You Marilyn Manson knock off! How dare you step foot in this dorm again!”

Jongdae guessed that the alcohol was finally taking full control of his system, as Junmyeon proceeded to pick up the closest item next to him, which happened to be the wooden table from the dining room.

“Junmyeon, no!” Jongdae cried out, but it was too late, as Junmyeon already decided to sloppily throw the table half way across the room in Yifan’s direction.

Many things happened at that moment in time. Jongdae realized that Yifan had sharper instincts than he let on, as he was able to swiftly move out of the way of the flying object with ease. Jongdae also realized that the manager had just returned to the dorms, and happened to be standing in the exact spot behind were Yifan had just been. The last thing Jongdae realized is that next year, maybe he should go on a vacation for the holidays; more preferably, as far away from the dorms as possible.

The table soared across the room, and everyone watched in awe as it landed right in the smack dab of the EXO manager’s forehead. The manager collapsed in a collection of fourteen seconds, after mumbling something about idiotic idols and changing professions.

“Manager!” Yixing wailed, rushing over to his aid, alongside a couple others.

Jongdae stared at the floor blankly. “Could this day get any worse?”

He looked up as he heard the sound of screaming, to see Jinki, Kyungsoo and Minho sprinting down the hallway past everyone in frenzy.

“W-What’s wrong now?!” Jongdae whined. He faintly smelt a soft burning, and turned his head to see the entire kitchen engulfed completely in flames.

“Fire! Fire! Everything’s burning!” Jinki cried, flinging open the door and letting himself out.

“I told you Jinki shouldn’t have cooked, but no, no one listens to Minho!” Minho grumbled as he rushed outside himself.

There was a pause before everyone panicked, pushing each other in an attempt to make it out the dorm doors.

“I’m too beautiful to die! Let me through!” Kibum howled, squeezing his way past.

Yixing was the next one out, taking the manager by the leg and dragging him out the door.

They eventually all made it outside safety, panting, wheezing, and complete messes.

“Well, that was an experience, eh Jongdae?” Minseok chuckled, patting him on the back.

“I hate the holidays.” Jongdae grumbled. “I hate the holidays.” 

--- 

a/n:

and there it is! lol

sorry it isn't very long. i planned for it to be MUCH longer, but i didn't have enough time to write it all. 

and it's also un-edited and not proofread in any shape or form, so they'll probably be a lot of mistakes 

this oneshot is super dumb im so sorry 

next year i'll just write christmas angst this is super super bad askla;L ; 

i espicially apologize for the ending. it's really rushed. you probably could tell lol. i took out a couple of scenes. 

but anyways ... i hope you enjoyed! 

thanks for reading! have a happy holidays! <3