Your POV

I hid back into the duvet. Thinking carefully, I decided to just tell him now and get it over with. He’ll only leave me alone if I let him know.

Peeping my face out, I took another shaky sigh, “I’ll tell you but please don't pity me. Over the past two years, I've trained myself to heal the scars that had been made, to build this concrete wall exterior. And it’s all because I don’t want the same thing to happen again. I don’t want to get hurt again.” I quietly muttered, barely above a whisper. I was avoiding eye-contact with Jongin because I felt that if I glanced at him for even just a millisecond, I would burst into hysterical tears.

“All my childhood, from the very minute I was born, there was Kiyoon, right next to me. I called him Kiki and he’d call me Mimi. He was my big brother. I strongly refused to think of him as just a friend. Our families were like a whole big family. We shared so many memories and I treasure them so dearly.

When I was two and he was just a year older, we slept in one bed. We would sleep together most days but sometimes, he wouldn’t be there and I always got upset, running to my parents instead.

I was afraid of the dark and I still am now so Kiyoon, being the big brother he was, he slept next to me to protect me. I laugh at it now. One day, we were just blabbering toddler nonsense. Kiki told me that at night when I'm sleeping, he goes and play with fairies with magic. I was two, the young age of innocence and gullibility.

‘Like Tinkerbell?’ I questioned.
‘Like Tinkerbell.’ He replied.

I asked excitedly if I could come too. He replied saying that there wasn't enough magic to bring me along as well.

After that, I cried and cried, begging the fairies every night until he eventually told me he lied. At that moment, I wanted to kill him so badly. To smash all his toys and throw them all away, “ I paused, taking a breath. Jongin was laying on his stomach, his arms propping up his head. He was smiling, enjoying the story.

“When I was young, I couldn't be angry at someone for very long. After a few munches on the strawberry Kiki gave me, I hugged him, forgetting everything. “ Tears creeped into my eyes, building up, ready to release. Jongin shuffled closer and lay next to me, softly running his fingers through my hair. I didn’t fight back.

“As the years passed, we were truly inseparable except from the times where he would be missing for a few days or sometimes even weeks.

We even promised that we were going to marry each other when we were older. Or if we fell in love with someone else, our kids would marry each other. I laugh at that too.

By the time we were seventeen, we were so close that people would really believe that we were a young married couple. We would always deny then burst, extravagantly pretending like we were, just for fun. As the years passed, the hours we were apart increased. Kiki would also be absent for a couple days a week. It only brought us closer, now that I think of it.

One day, Kiyoon was gone for a whole week. I never asked my parents where he was because he’d eventually always come back, happy and smiling. Everyday, I waited for his million watt smile to come and cheer me up. Whilst he was gone, I thought of hundreds of things we could do together when he came back.

On the Sunday of that week, my mom called me down and passed the message.

Kiki passed away on Saturday, when it was around eleven PM and they had already performed the funeral ceremony.

I collapsed on to the floor, my face blank.

He was gone.

My Kiki

The one I promised to marry.

There was so many things I had yet to do with him. Like:

Burn an ant with a magnifying glass

Look at the clouds

Visit the beach in moonlight

Blow as many dandelion puffs as we can find

Buy a dog and name her Gongju.

To other people, the things on the list that I wanted to do with him might seem small. But truly, I didn’t care what we were doing, as long as we were together.
As long as he was standing in front of me.

With that million watt smile.

The worst part of it that really killed me was that he lied to me.

He didn’t tell me that he was secretly in pain all that time.

He didn’t tell me that he was in hospital.

He didn’t tell me that he was leaving soon.

We spent all that time together, these memories made. Happiness created. And yet.

He didn’t even tell me that he was hurting all that time. If I had known, I would have spent every last millisecond making him laugh and smile, creating so many more memories. So I can remember the most of him. So I won’t forget.

But the last thing that made me into who I am today was:
The promise that was broken.”

I snuggled deeper into the duvet. I could feel Jongin’s warming eyes looking at me.

“The day after he passed away, my mom brought me to visit him. But before that we visited the local Disney shop. I finally found what I was looking for. I paid for it and met my mom in the car.

When I saw Kiki's grave, I let the tears fall as I gently placed the bouquet of flowers down. Next to it, I placed the small figurine of Tinkerbell, smiling, holding out her small wand.

Take me with you.” As the tears were never-ending, Jongin used his two thumbs to gently wipe them away.

“As months passed, mom would sign me up for activities nearly every day to keep me busy. To become distracted. I didn't have time to be depressed and unmotivated. I guess it worked.

As I experienced new things and matured, I gradually built a wall. A concrete wall that blocked emotions such as love and friendship and people. It was a type of defence mechanism.

I thought that if I didn't feel anymore. If I didn't fall in love or make a strong relationship, I wouldn't get hurt. If they left, they wouldn't matter to me. Because I knew how it felt. And I didn't want to make the same mistake again. I was scarred.

Yesterday, at the restaurant, I was scared and I'm still scared now. Of love and it’s consequences” Tears still streaked my face but I was tired. I let my eyelids drop, sending me away to the land where dreams were made.

Third Person

Jongin watched contently at MiRa sleeping soundly. After hearing her story and what she had experienced, he felt as if she had opened up and gotten closer.

He pulled the duvet so it covered her