—

I tried holding out my hand to catch you,
but you just keep getting further away.

Remember when he used to flush a deep red when Taehyung went all smooth on him? 

Remember when he used to be green with envy, when other girls had Taehyung's attention?

Remember when he felt blue when they fought for the bazillionth time?

Remember when he was a total black, when he saw Taehyung with Jimin, at the movies together?

Unfortunately, Jeon Jungkook don't.

Lying on the hospital bed, pristine white sheets covering his frail body, oxygen mask attached onto his sickly pale face, he doesn't remember anything.

There, he was white- like the sheets, never been tainted with any other disgusting colors and never splashed with acrylic paint. 

A plain white canvas. 

He only remembers his mother, she was like bleach, removing all leftover stains- stains meaning memories of Taehyung, she never approved of him anyways. 

Everything is blue; his pills, his hands, his jeans.

Everytime Jungkook walks past this one building, he feels as if someone was watching him, someone was secretly spying on him. 
And when he turns around its all grey; the trees, the bench and the aesthetically pleasing surrounding- it's all grey. 

Like an expired black and white film, somewhere deep in his mind, I've been here. 

Mrs Jeon tried all she could to keep the memories of Taehyung away, far away from Jungkook and when she burnt the pictures, the orange flames that shone brightly in the dimly lit backyard, she vowed- to never let Jungkook remember anything regarding the older. Nothing. 

And she left the pile of photos to burn, flames slowly going off, and it was extinguished- while Jungkook stood upstairs in his room, lost in his own thoughts while staring at the ashes, what's that? 

 And now I'm covered in the colors, pull apart at the seams and it's all blue.

Jungkook loved watching sunsets, the colors that fill in the gaps from the clouds makes him really satisfied. He always wanted a relationship where his partner will fill in his flaws and they would fit, like the silver lock and key he found in his room when he was cleaning up one day. 

the silver charms in his hands, he could only ask himself as he stared up at the red sunset-
"Who's Tae?" 

I'm running out of breath, as I run towards the deep ocean that swallowed up the stars.

Jungkook was living his life as usual when one day, someone named Park Jimin came up to him and bumped shoulders. 

"Hey! It's been a long time since I last saw you! Are you... are you alright?" 

Jungkook was suddenly violet, and he feels a strong urge to puke his guts out, but forces an answer to avoid leaving 'Jimin' hanging,

"Y-yeah, I'm alright."

The other senses something wrong but didn't wanna pry any further and Jungkook was thankful for that- his lips couldn't form actual words before he muttered a goodbye! and ran off, leaving the scene like the wind that comes before the huge storm- strong and fast. 

And when Jungkook asked his mother who's Park Jimin?, the answer was oh! that kid! he's a family friend! 

You're lying mom, you're lying.

Me in the black and white photo, my world that has spread black, 

The next time he met Jimin was when he was out, at the mall alone because apparently some client's coming over so I don't want them to see you, go somewhere like the mall or something, so he was alone- in the mall and someone comes over and pull him into the yogurt shop nearby. 

"I know you lost your memories and I know your sad excuse of a mother will burn everything away- so I'm here to tell you everything."

That was the first thing Jimin told him when they sat down, in a booth near to the end of the restaurant. 

"Erm.... okay?"

—

One thing lead to another and Jungkook found himself at the cemetery, with swollen eyes and lips that became red after nibbling on it. 

He knelt down on a grass patch before staring at the stone infront of him,

Kim Taehyung 
30 December 1995
He was a young kid with big dreams,
pocket empty but heart was filled with ambition, he was blue while everything else was grey. 

—

I've been quietly living in the deep tunnel that swallowed up the light,

"It all happened when you saw Taehyung with me, so I would like to apologize first before you punch me in the face-"

"Please just get to the point? I have to rush back home, Jimin."

"Alright. You saw us, at the movies. We saw you, running out. We chased after you, he wanted to push you away but there really wasn't enough time- so he just grabbed you and pulled you against him tightly, hoping for the best since the cars were really fast."

"So? Why are you telling me this? What's his relationship with me?-"

"He died, Jungkook. He died because he wanted to save you, he died because he loved you so much that your life was more important than his."

Getting frustrated, Jungkook stood up and looked angrily at Jimin, 
"So what? You didn't even tell me what's our relationship? What makes you think I'll trust you?"

Jimin took a deep breath, closing his eyes,
"He was a young kid with big dreams, pocket empty but heart was filled with ambition, he was blue while everything else was grey. You two were dating. Your mother didn't allow and you, you threatened to jump out onto the streets if she didn't approve the two of you."

Jungkook was shocked, he wouldn't do that, he wouldn't threaten his mother, he wouldn't-

Jimin opened his eyes and looked directly into Jungkook's teary brown ones,
"It was the anniversary present, Jungkook. We met up because he wanted to buy you something but wasn't sure what- so he called me. The three of us were best friends, Jeon Jungkook."

Still standing up, Jungkook swallowed the lump in his throat, clenched and unclenched his fists, 
"What does it look like?"

Jimin smiled softly before a tear fell onto his cheek,
"It was a really really pretty silver lock and key. Taehyung got it custom-made, he was an art student and knew that you loved how he understood you so well and fitted into your flaws perfectly."

That was when the white got tainted, by all sorts of different colors that came crushing down- before it returned to the classic black and grey. White didn't exist anymore. 

Jungkook wanted time alone and Jimin understood that, so he let Jungkook walk off without a word, before he looked over to the sky, the dark navy with a tint of sky blue, are you watching? 

—

Kneeling infront of the marble stone, Jungkook broke down. All his memories came crashing back into his brain and all he could see now was different colors of Taehyung. The bright shining eyes, the red lips and the green coat he loved wearing. Everything's back in place.

It was 6.54 in the evening and the sun went down a long time ago, Jungkook's still infront of the grave, looking blankly at the small square picture of Taehyung's. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, I-I'm-"

Don't be, don't be, it wasn't your fault.

"I'm a bad excuse as a boyfriend, I'm- I don't deserve someone like you,"

Why are you like this? Don't cry, don't be sad, I love you.

"I'm sorry, for not remembering earlier. I'm sorry, for not hearing your explanation. I'm s-sorry, I-I killed you! It's all my fault!"

It's not your fault, baby, it's not.. Why can't you hear me?

"You must hate me a lot,"

I loved you. And I still do.

"I remember when I used to flush a deep red when you went all smooth on me, when I used to be green with envy, when other girls had your attention, when I felt blue when we fought for the bazillionth time, when I was a total black, when I saw you with Jimin, at the movies together. I remember. But now it's just an black and white film that's called memories,"

Yes, but I don't want you to forget.

"I won't forget. I loved you and will always love you until we meet again."

I'm so tired, I'm so tired- now I'm just really sick of it.

Jungkook was red and Taehyung was blue, when they touched, it was lilac sky and they both loved the color- 
now, they are both black and grey, only exists in each other's memories and thrown over on the side of the shelf. 

海阔凭鱼跃，天高任鸟飞.*

-

songs that 'inspired me' : day6's colors, congratulations, out of my mind and halsey's colors 

guys if you hadn't check day6 out, do it! I recently attended their show over at my country and it was awesome hearing them live! their stop and stare cover got me crying buckets I don't even know why TT 

oh at the end, the italics were Taehyung, because Jimin looked up at the sky and asked if Taehyung was watching and in fact, he was. 

"Why can't you hear me?" 
basically means they were in different worlds, but only he could listen to Jungkook and the younger male can't connect at all. 

The place that Jungkook walked past and felt as if someone's staring at him was?:
The place that Jungkook walked past and feels like someone was spying on him was Taehyung's apartment building, meaning Taehyung's always with him, watching over him.

Paragraph that Jimin said about Taehyung?:
"He was a young kid with big dreams, pocket empty but heart was filled with ambition, he was blue while everything else was grey."
This means Taehyung had big dreams (I wanna big house big cars and rings), but he wasn't as rich as Jungkook- hence his pocket was empty. However he had great ambitions, he was creative and ambitious- making him stand out from other people in the crowd; making him blue when other people were grey (including white and black) 

Why didn't Jungkook's mother like Taehyung?:
The reason why Mrs Jeon didn't like Taehyung was like a cliche drama, he wasn't rich- and like Jungkook said, he wouldn't threaten his own mother, so Mrs Jeon thought that Taehyung lead Jungkook astray.

Why did Jungkook feel violet when he first met Jimin?:
The weird feeling of déjà vu was too strong, he felt uneasy and Jimin was familiar to him, they had a strong connection and the connection was too much for Jungkook to take.

Fishes swim in the vast sea as freely as birds fly in the boundless sky.
海阔凭鱼跃，天高任鸟飞
meaning imagination is your only limit, go for it.