// prologue : to be cursed or blessed and to care less

“Tell me what’s on your mind, I’d like to know how to help you.”

Jaebum doesn’t know when this whole thing of him being able to hear what people think started. If you were to ask him if he enjoyed it, his answer would be a quick and straight ‘no’.  The male thinks of it as a nuisance. It made him paranoid at the fact that he can hear what other’s thought are and what they thought of him whenever he were to converse with someone. Jaebum never bothered to tell anyone though. What was the point? They would call him a freak or weird. He didn’t mind to be called that, it was just that fact that the way that their eyes would narrow at him, when they saw him. His throat would run dry, eyes goes hard, hands begin to shake. The feeling in him wasn’t the most pleasant as he would like it to be.

The male lost his parents when he was at a young age. No, not the typical accident where a car crashes. More like the typical ‘I’m not ready to have a kid’ type of bull story. Nothing interesting. To him anyways. Well, what did he find interesting?

Not his family.
 

Jaebum had moved into a family friend’s house of his mother. He was given some old photos of his parents of them when they were young - they probably looked like they were in their early twenties. The only thing was that he never got to know their first names. He just knows the last because, Im Jaebum. Im is his surname from his father. That’s just one tiny thing he knows about his dad. The latter could really care less though.

Living with his mom’s friend was nice. She treated him well, as if he were her own son. Her name was Soo Eun, Jaebum’s mom's childhood friend that was conversed with here and there. She practically spoiled the kid always wanting him to feel like a part of the family. Thing is though, that wasn’t the case. Once Jaebum was able to read minds, he knew the whole reason why he was practically being babied. Soo Eun was getting paid to do so. She was only in it for the money and that was - well, the male could care less.

To know what someone thinks has its perks as well so to say. Like being able to know what the answer was to a problem when the teacher called on him. Or even hearing some distressed kid pity himself. Who is he kidding, there’s nothing special about being able to read minds. It’s just a nuisance. Who is he to say whether it’s a curse or bless? Time will tell. That’s what Jaebum hopes at least.

---

Once Jaebum graduated high school, he was  out and about. The male left that money hogger so-called his mom’s friends place and went out to live in a cheap apartment area. The conversation went like this as he was putting his clothes into a suitcase:
 

“Decided on what you want to do for college?” Soo Eun asked as she stood at the entrance to his room.
 

All the male did was let out a soft hum with the nod of the head. He wasn’t in the mood for talking but more like wanting to just get out. “I decided and don’t worry auntie, I got in with a scholarship,” He replied, taking a short glance at the petite woman as he went from one side of the  room to the other, grabbing the rest of his clothes out from the dresser. Scholarship? What scholarship is this? The woman had thought to herself and it wasn’t in the most pleasant tone either. Jaebum had a smirk forming at the corner of his lips,  and plopped the rest of his clothes into the suitcase, rolling them up to make more space. “It’s a performing arts scholarship. I got into an international college. You know me and dancing are a great pair.”

Even though he didn’t see the eyeroll, he did hear the soft groan. Of course the kid got a scholarship with his dancing. Who knew that was even possible. “Jae, I can help pay for your textbooks. Make this as a graduation gift hm?” Soo Eun suggested, her hands on her hips; that smile she had on was totally fake. A smile that Jaebum got tired of for a while already.

In response, all he did was smile a small one right back. “I’d appreciate that. Thank you for being there for me,” It was a lie. She was never there for him really. Just giving him things he needed and making those small coos to him to wrap him around her finger. That didn’t work and was about to come to a halt any moment from now.  On the good side though, less things to worry about.

"Of course sweetie. When will you be leaving this place? She asked, her head lazily resting against the wall. Hurry up and answer, I still got to do my own laundry.

"Tonight actually. I'll be moving into an apartment across town. It's near the college as well so it's way more convenient than here" Jaebum replied with a wide grin. The battle between these two was quite strong so to say. If someone were to step in, the aura that was around was thick and suffocating. They could easily die from oxygen deprivation. "My friend will be stopping by too. He's going to give me a ride and help me move my things."

"Sounds like you got everything settled and ready to go. It feels like it was just yesterday that I took you in," she feigned a sob, wiping the corner of her eye as if there was a real tear.

"Tch, don't get all emotional now auntie. Why don't you go do something else? " the male replied with a soft chuckle, walking over to the woman with his hand on her shoulder, turning her around to face the other way. With a soft push, he didn't wait for her to leave and just closed his door. So annoying.

When it was time to say goodbye, Jaebum hardly spoke to Soo Eun. He didn’t need to. She didn’t need to. Why? Because they both knew that the only reason why she had offered him to  help pay for his textbooks was that it was just another reason to get paid. Extra  money means happiness don’t it?

---

Getting settled in his new apartment, Jaebum’s friend Youngjae was passing over boxes to the male; they were stacking one on top of the other. His arms were tired from moving all of his things from one place to another. Why did I have to pack so many things. Him and his friend looked at about five boxes and a duffle bag laying on the ground just smiling at them.
 

“You know, I actually thought you’d have more stuff from all the that was in your room whenever I came over” Youngjae spoke, stretching his arms up in the air.
 

All Jaebum could do was let out a short chuckle with a shrug of the shoulders. “I actually dumped some stuff and just packed what I thought I would want to have here. It was also a small room so you know-”
 

Youngjae made a nod. Well yeah, whenever we hung out, our bodies were practically all over each other whenever we played video games. “True.”

Listening to the other’s thoughts made himself feel his face getting warm. With his hands in his pockets, Jaebum leaned back on the balls of his feet, and looked down at the tiled ground. Lips were pressed together into a thin line as he thought about everything. Was moving out really worth it? Do I even have enough money to survive on? His thoughts came to a halt when he felt a hug on his side. Both of his feet were on the ground now, hands still in his pockets, and body frozen. The male’s eyes went from staring at the ground to the ball of fluff- yes a ball of fluff so he likes to think of his friend as, and saw him hugging him. “Youngjae..? Is something wro-” The younger male’s head raised and looked up at the taller, chin resting against his arm. “ng?” Jaebum asked as he saw the pair of eyes look at him as if it were a stare down.

All Youngjae did was lightly shake his head meaning nothing, but his arms wrapping around the other said otherwise. I just want to hug you. The taller male was able to get his arms loose and ended up enveloping the other in his for a moment. Hands were rubbing soothing circles against the latter's back and they stood there for another good minute or two, ten minutes maybe. “What’s wrong?”
 

“Hyung,” Youngjae started, closing his eyes again and resting his cheek against the male’s chest. You know, you can always come to me if you’re ever having a problem or issue. Even if it’s the smallest thing. The younger male knows that his hyung knows that he can hear his thoughts. So why not say it through there? Of course Jaebum couldn’t respond through thoughts. But what he did was stopping his circles and just stood there, resting his chin on the younger’s shoulder.
 

“You’re the only person that knows. I’d like to think you’re quite lucky you know?” Jaebum started out with a question. “We’re bros. Family. I’ll tell you if I got anything stuck in my mind. I’ll be sure to tell you” He said, pulling away from the other, a sad smile on his lips. His body was slumped, his face was truly telling how he really is. And that was basically just a piece of turd. Being under a light had shown the bags that were under his eyes, the paleness in his skin from not going out in the sun as often. Last but not least, his eyes. They showed lost in them. Something that Jaebum knows himself that he wouldn’t show anyone. But maybe to just a specific bro he knows.

The night had ended with a statement of ‘Oh , it’s already 9! Mom’s going to kill me for taking the car when I don’t even have a license yet.’ The two of them made a hearty laugh and had a response of ‘This is why you should just get your license already like me.’

‘Well if you’d excuse me, I’d like to not get my beaten up tonight’

---

When his days in university started, Jaebum had found himself becoming more tired than usual. As much of a lazy bum he was, the work load from his classes was just piling up. He thinks that he won’t see the end of it. Then again though, since he’s gotten into university, it didn’t mean he wanted to spend his sweet time in it. The profession he wanted to get in wasn’t a difficult one but the courses he had to take was just a galore.

Since the male had gotten in with his scholarship, he took side classes of those. It wasn’t his major but just small side ‘job’. Jaebum was an education major, wanting to become a teacher when he got older. No one would figure and he never told anyone. Not even Youngjae.
 

Wake up, coffee, school, work, sleep - repeat
 

The routine of his was something normal. Jaebum would just take the bus to school even though he already had a license, he just didn’t have the money to support himself for a car. Coffee- Something that has officially become something that he’s dependent on. That iced caramel macchiato with four shots of espresso; the bitterness mixed in with the sweetness, god damn was that good.  Work - the job he does at night which is working at a cutesy-like cafe that many girls go to; some even try to flirt with him when he comes out of hiding in the kitchen.  By the time the latter had gotten back to the apartment would be about around ten at night. Dinner was not necessary. So he likes to think. Homework though was a must. School is before food in his eyes.

What Jaebum noticed though was every day that he went to get his daily dose of coffee, there was this one specific person he’d see almost every time. Something he thought was funny but thought nothing of it. When he would be in the elevator, it was the same person. The same person that gets off at the same floor as him. The one that has his room just a few doors down the hall from him. It’s pure coincidence. Besides, that coffee shop he goes to is just next to the apartment complex. It’s just so convenient. A funny thing that actually went unnoticed is the fact that he couldn’t hear this person’s thoughts. Not that he mind though. Just something less to hear and get a headache from.

Until one day, leaning against the wall in the elevator, his eyes were closed. That day was quite a long and an  exhausting one. His backpack rested on his shoulders. There was dance practice and work today. People were just complaining here and there during practice since no one could get the choreography right. It gave Jaebum the biggest headache ever. Meds weren’t helping either.
So he thought, it’s just the elevator, a quick shut eye until he reached the tenth floor would be a nice cat nap. He didn’t realize that the same person came in as well. By the time they had reached their floor, the male didn’t notice, let alone be awake.

A hand had reached on his shoulder with a firm grip on it. With a light shake, came a “Hey, isn’t this your floor as well?” It was a nice soothing voice. Jaebum heard but didn’t want to open his mouth a speak nor move his legs. To not be an though, he opened one eye to look at the other. It was the first time hearing his neighbor speak to him. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips and nod was made.
 

“Sorry” It was a soft mumble, standing up straight and walked out. At first though, his legs were stumbling, body off balance to only get caught by someone.
 

“Hey, you alright? You don’t look so well” The nameless neighbor said, catching up to to him.
 

Jaebum lightly shook his head and turned his head, swatting his hand in mid air. “I’m fine, just a bit tired. That’s all,” He replied, looking straight ahead, not wanting to give eye contact to the other male that he thought was attractive as is. This situation he’s in right now makes him look like a complete fool. Plus, he was not in the mood to talk to someone.

His neighbor had stopped helping him walk but instead walked in the back of him. To keep distance and to make sure that the male would be okay getting to his room. When Jaebum had got to his room, his hands fumbled with the keys but he was able to get in. Right as he got in, he closed the door and leaned his back against the wood. A sigh escaped his lips and he took his shoes off, making his way off to his room. All he remembered from that night is that he never did any of his homework nor showered.

When the next day came, Jaebum found himself waking up at noon. It was Thursday, he had classes. One was in an hour, but there wasn’t a point to go. Why? Because he’s exhausted as hell. His body didn’t want to get up either, he couldn’t even sit himself right. Evening came and he was hungry. Coffee. That’s what he could get and something to eat from the convenience store that right next door by the gas station. Perfect. With that, he got up and changed into casual clothes.

Black sweats and a white sweatshirt, Jaebum slipped on his shoes with his wallet and keys in his pocket. He walked over to the elevator and waited for it until it went bing. When the doors opened, the nameless neighbor was there. The two of them made eye contact, Jaebum himself was speechless. He decided to walk right past the other and not say a word only to be told.

‘ Don’t drink too much coffee. Eat well. You didn’t look so well last night. I don’t want to see the medics come into the building to save your . ‘

A/N: How was that? Thanks to everyone that has subscribed and waited! 
          I hope i'm able to meet up to your standards ( I know i won't be able to though haha ) 
          Please anticipate for more as there is more to come! 
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until then , 
     - turtlebum