Writing for her first solo album had been a roller coaster ride.

Amber wanted to give it her best. She had so many people to please, but the hardest judge was no one other than herself.  She knew she could fool them all into thinking she had tried her best but she couldn’t lie to herself.

 And she had sure tried to do that.

Lying was almost like a habit sometimes.

Lying about being happy in Korea those early years when she was getting so much disapproval for who she was. Lying about not getting hurt hearing harsh comments regarding her tomboy looks. Lying about finding something positive, in the idea that some thought she was dating her female friends. Lying about not feeling like whenever they weren’t making the same assumption for the boys that were next to her instead.

And it was especially those days when she was next to a certain someone that she had wished to hear how good they looked together.

It was that guy that was most definitely not her type. But had somehow gotten into her heart and she couldn’t shake him no matter how hard she had tried.

Being around Henry was confusing her.

Those were the times she was the happiest but also the saddest. Knowing she was so close and yet so far away from him was torture. Seeing him would lighten up her day, but it would also depress her to think she couldn’t touch him the way she wanted.

“Hey Amber, are you okay?” a familiar voice woke her up from her trance. “How’s writing going today?” Krystal asked.

“It’s going.” Amber muttered, still deep in her thoughts.

“Amber, I worry about you these days. You seem too…I don’t know...dejected lately. Preparing for your album seems to have that effect on you.” she added.

“It’s okay. I just want to give to people what they’re expecting from me.”

“I understand that, but don’t lose you in the process. I think I might be able to help you a little. Let me have a look.”

Amber was definitely relieved Soojung was there for her. Having one of her members looking out for her was a good reminder that she wasn’t that weak person anymore. That she had built both a social life and a career.

So yeah maybe Soojung was right after all.

Song writing was taking her back to those dark days. It was making her dig deep and that was harder than what she had thought it would be.

A few hours later when she had convinced Krystal to go home, she was out walking by herself. Staying inside the house for too long wasn’t helping to better her mood so she thought of relying to the outside world to do that for her.

She hadn’t been out for more than a few minutes when she suddenly saw Zhoumi from across the street.

“Amber! Long time no see!” the young man exclaimed high fiving her and returning her back clasp.

“What up bro?”

“Nothing much, last minute grocery shopping…Hey, I also saw Henry earlier. If you hurry, you’ll meet up with him. He’s jogging a few metres from here.”

“Yeah thanks man.” Amber replied, hoping that the sudden change in her heartbeat was only audible to her.

For a few seconds after parting from Zhoumi she contemplated whether to increase her footsteps or to walk the other way ignoring the information she had just received. She finally caught herself wishing she had more of a strong will as she started jogging, following the path that would lead her to him.

She saw him first and made sure she acted as if she had no idea he was going to be there.

“Hey Am!” he waved at her as soon as he saw her.

She nodded in acknowledgement and caught up with him.

“Zhoumi told me you’d be here.” So much for acting clueless, she mentally slapped herself.

“So you came to find me” he said, offering her the cheekiest of his smiles.

“I came, because I wanted to jog and enjoy the scenery.”

“Meaning me.”

“Okay. Bye Henry! See ya!”

“What!? No Am, wait! You know I was just joking! Hey! Will you slow down? I’m not one of your dogs to run after you, you know!”

“Yes you are! You’re Snoopy! Did you forget?”

“No I didn’t! You never let me forget! For real now…wait for me! Hey…You…”

Her giggles and Henry’s protests could be heard from a distance.

                                       …………………..

The next morning Amber woke up with a certain thought in her head. She suddenly knew where to begin from again.

“Busy, aren’t you today?” Krystal noticed.

“Yes! I finally feel like I can write again!”

“So what sort of a song are you working on now?”

“A love song.”

“You got inspired for a love song?”

“Yep.”  she replied dryly, as she was starting to have an idea where this was going.

“Cause of Henry!”

“What!? No, no, no.” Amber gestured. “Why are you bringing up Henry now out of the blue?”

“Out of the blue? Come on, Amber…everyone knows you’ve been crushing hard on him.”

“You’re tiring Soojung. You know Henry’s like a brother to me!”

“You sure have a very uous idea of what a brother should be like.” Krystal chuckled.

“You were leaving, weren’t you?”

“Alright, alright. What inspired you then? Other than Henry.” She mouthed that last one.

“Amber you know your murderous look does nothing to me! I practically invented that look! Will you tell me now? I’m getting bored here.”

“Hachiko.” Amber finally responded.

“Ha-what!?”

“Come on…you know..Hachiko! The story of that dog that always waits for its master…And it runs around trying to find him even after he was gone…”

Krystal’s sudden laugh left Amber in awe.

“So wait, you’re writing a love song about a dog?”

“No, I’m writing from the perspective of the dog. Why are you looking at me like that? Is it that silly?”

Krystal’s face had turned serious at that point. “No, you know what Amber? It’s actually kinda cute.” She suddenly announced.

“You think!?” Amber brightened.

“Yeah…and coming to think about how much you love your dogs…it actually makes sense!”

“Thank you! Just don’t tell too many people about that." Amber said.

“What? Why?”

“You know…to maintain the mystery. To let them think that this is actually for a guy.”

“Ah ok. You have a point there.” her friend agreed.

                                     …………………………..

Amber spent the whole of that afternoon in a frenzy of writing and rewriting. It was so frustrating to her how she had shaped the idea so well in her head but she seemed unable to transfer it as successfully on paper.

Suddenly that thought crossed her mind.

                            Maybe he was there again.

Next thing she had grabbed her jacket and walked fast steps to that familiar place.

She was jogging alone for about half an hour when she finally heard his voice.

“Am I late Amber?”

“For what?” she turned to face him controlling her facial features. It was all about playing it cool at that point, Amber thought.

“For our date!” he said smiling.

“Shut up or you’ll be both late and punched!” she threatened.

“I’m sorry…but wait…so you admit that this is actually a date! Ouch! Stop, stop!” he pleaded as she was pulling him forward by his ear now.

It always worked to rid of that mischievous smile of his, that was doing things to her.

 “Arasso, arasso! I was taking a shower and I only saw your tweet a few minutes ago.”

She finally released his ear and he read from his phone:

                   @llama_ajol current mood: jogging”

 “Hopefully you didn’t reply back to me saying you’ll be there or some other mumbo jumbo again.”

“Erm…sure..I didn’t!” he hesitantly responded, keeping the screen in a safe distance from her gaze.

Amber took her phone out.

               @henrylau89 @llama_ajol look behind you!

 “Henry what the hell!” They’ll be making fanarts again!”

“I’m cool with that, are you not?”

“Are you not?” she repeated, mimicking his voice.

“That sounds nothing like me!”

“Whatever!”

For the next few minutes they ran side by side in silence. Amber was feeling his shoulder softly brushing onto hers from time to time and pretended like she didn’t hope time would stop at those exact moments.

“So how’s composing these days?”

“Fine.” She almost whispered that one, as she was starting to get tired.

“Hey you wanna take a break?” he suggested while nudging her to stop.

“I’m in a better shape than you. I can keep going.” she hated herself at those moments. She hated how she would sometimes feel the need to hide her feelings by throwing insults to him.

She removed his grasp gently and strode forward but stopped again, when she felt his other hand on her shoulder this time.

The next events made her sigh in content.