"A precious relationship should be treated the way you treat an orchid,

You shall not go too close, nor should you give it as much attention.

...no matter where one is, both have to feel free..."

-Jiyong's Instagram, 151215

They say love is good, friendship is good
But be warned, the back of your head might be in pain

This night was your birthday party. I was celebrating it without you. I went to the other party to celebrate yours, in my head. Confusing, huh?

Like our friendship. Or our love?

I didn’t want to think about that.

I wanted to drink this confusion away.

Hey doctor doctor, please save me
Because I’m about to go insane

No, there is no doctor and medicines to help me heal this pain. I even didn’t know what’ss in pain was or where the pain was. I felt my body ached, but there were no physical wounds. One thing for sure, I felt like my heart was going to explode because it was squeezed too much. Indeed. The pain is here. In my heart.

It’s hard for me to be sober
I can’t do anything
I hate being sober
I can’t fall asleep without you

Why should I be sober? It’s hard for me to be sober. All I could be was alone with my thoughts and it’s scary. It’s scary to think that you were not here with me. It’s scary to think that you were there, with all your friends, far from me. It’s scary to think that you werewith all those girls. You’re supposed to be with me.

Call me possessive.

Like I’d care.

I have to be drunk. It’s my time machine that would bring me to the time and to the world where I could see you, where I could hug you, where you would be here beside me.

It’s scary tonight. I might not fall asleep without you if I’m sober.

The world is cold to me
People’s eyes are prickling on me
I seem like an adult but I’m really a child that’s really tall

I lit up my cigarette. Tsk. As usual. I saw the match. I scoffed.

Maybe we’re a perfect match. That’s why we’re burnt out.

It was supposed to be us celebrating your birthday, like the years before, when you still depended on me. Fuuuh! I blew the smoke to the ceiling. I remembered that you would blew the candles on top of the simple bir