“But be careful lest you get fooled by your own disguise.”

---

Dongwoo and Joohee headed back to the café to take a breather and straighten things out. The brief walk there was filled with silence, punctuated by the occasional cough and sniffle. It was perhaps only appropriate, as Joohee was still visibly shaken by the episode. Despite the shower of tears upon their unusual reunion, she wasn’t ready to jump into Dongwoo’s arms just yet.

“Th-thanks a lot for saving me,” she meekly said and pointed in the direction of the stairwell, “I was a little too shocked back there to face you properly, sorry.” Dongwoo returned with no words, but a light shake of the head and a relieved smile. Yet to Joohee, the gesture was a comforting pat on her quavering heart. Holding the warm cup of cappuccino with both hands helped to further soothe her nerves. For the second time that afternoon, she looked straight into Dongwoo’s eyes.

Her gaze drifted onto the wooden coffee table again as she spoke. “I don’t understand what happened though. Why would that person –”

Dongwoo took Joohee’s cold hands and wrapped them with his own warm ones. In a slightly hushed voice, he coaxed, “Forget that. It’s over and done with. Don’t concern yourself with it anymore.”

Joohee’s brows were still creased from attempting to untangle her mess of thoughts. “But what if –”

“– he comes after you again?” Dongwoo finished off with the exact words Joohee were about to say, and she gave an affirmative nod. He held her hands a little tighter, and continued, “I’ll protect you. I’m here now, right?”

Seeing how Joohee wasn’t entirely convinced by his cajoling, Dongwoo added, “I’m going to report him to the police, don’t worry.” At that, Joohee finally smiled and with an enthusiastic spark in her rounded eyes, quipped, “We should! I’ll give my testimony!”

“It’s alright!” Dongwoo replied with a small laugh, “You should get a good rest. Maybe I’ll just record your statement and hand it to the police.”

“Oh right,” Joohee mused and suggested in a bout of spontaneity, “Let’s find a quiet corner and do it right now before I forget anything.”

A smile lingered on the edge of his lips as Dongwoo urged her to finish her drink first. The two found a secluded area beneath an escalator and quickly recorded the statement. While Dongwoo was reviewing it through earphones, Joohee found her hands wandering to the paper document snugly packed in a compartment of her bag. As her fingers met the distinct protrusions of the mp3 player and the subtle photograph edges, her eyes stole a glance of Dongwoo’s back. With a mild twitch of the face, she retrieved her hands just as Dongwoo swerved around. Like a deer caught in headlights, she stared at him wide-eyed. Dongwoo tilted his head a little to the left as he looked back at her, but swiftly carried on, saying, “I think it sounds fine. Let’s just use this.”

“Hm,” she uttered in agreement, and secured her sling bag on her shoulder as she got up from her cross-legged sitting position. Dongwoo beamed at her, then turned back in front and started walking.

“Taxi stand?” he asked, to which she succinctly confirmed. As they were heading towards their destination, Joohee vaguely heard a persistent buzzing sound.

“Is your phone vibrating?” she suggested. He simply shrugged and answered with an unfailing smile, “It can probably wait. I’ll return the call later.” Though not entirely satisfied with his ambiguous reply, Joohee lightly smiled back at him and nodded.

 

Once they got on the taxi, Dongwoo gave the driver orders to drop Joohee home first before heading for his place.

“Hey,” Joohee called, which prompted Dongwoo to turn from the front seat and face her, who was sitting at the rear. Voice thick with concern, she asked, “Is it really alright for me not to accompany you to the police station? I’m actually free, so –”

Cutting her off with a wide grin, Dongwoo exclaimed, “It’s really okay!” Joohee’s gaze flickered as uneasiness still weighed down on her heart. In a deeper, warmer tone, Dongwoo spoke up again. “You’ve had enough for today.” His eyes were casted downwards, and the soft reflection of the street lights off his eyelashes created an enigmatic picture.

Sensing the sincerity in Dongwoo’s voice, Joohee didn’t push further. There were a lot of things she wanted to ask him about, but it just didn’t feel like the right time to be catching up, or having a heartfelt talk. Another time, perhaps – she was determined to draw close to him again, to cross out the regrets she had. Setting her eyes on the blurred streaks of colours outside the window, Joohee suddenly realized how conflicted her heart was. She felt like she’d caught up with Dongwoo after the café talk, until she realized that that wasn’t Dongwoo. But how did everything feel perfectly normal, how did that person know all those things about her and Dongwoo –

Startled, she immediately looked at Dongwoo, who was merely staring blankly ahead. Queasiness welled up within Joohee as she perceived that the situation was more complicated than it seemed. “Does this have anything to do with the new information?” she wondered, her palms involuntarily turning clammy.

She swallowed the questions that she was tempted to ask Dongwoo and settled, instead, for making a verbal agreement to meet up again in the same week. “Of course!” Dongwoo had said, complete with the grin which almost never left his face whenever he spoke to her. It was then that Joohee felt like there’s something more behind his jovial demeanor, that maybe his abundant smiles were a convenient way for him to gloss over what was difficult to express.

 

Upon reaching his dimly-lit rented apartment, the first thing Dongwoo did wasn’t to unpack his luggage, but tend to the 32 missed calls from the same person. It didn’t take more than five seconds for the call to go through. That person had clearly been awaiting his call.

“How impatient are you to call me 32 times?” Dongwoo hollered through the receiver, “What exactly do you want?”

As the other party replied, he dragged his feet to the small wooden coffee table beside the window and sat down on it.

“I know, I know,” Dongwoo hastily said, “That was my fault, alright? I’ll still pay what you’re due.” Looking at the dust particles dance in the faint beams of sunlight through the window grills, it felt like his new place had more dirt than oxygen. Dongwoo wondered if the sensation of his chest tightening was a biological consequence of that, or if it was nothing more than a psychological effect of gnawing guilt.

He found a stubborn stain on the ground and rubbed his right foot against it, hard. “Don’t push it,” he gritted his teeth while speaking to the one on the other end. He stopped rubbing the stain and laid his intense gaze on it. It doesn’t seem to have lightened even a bit. A bitter chuckle escaped through the gap between his lips. “You’re totally taking advantage of this.”

Eyes still focused downwards on the ground, he ran his fingers through his hair, slightly greasy from the long flight. “I’ll give it to you, just – shh.” Upon hearing the disconnect tone, Dongwoo threw his phone aside in a rough manner and heaved a deep sigh. Burying his head between his palms, Dongwoo reminded himself yet again not to make decisions rashly – especially not when he was at the top of his anger.

 

When Joohee woke up the next day, she felt that she’d been way too cold to Dongwoo the day before. Despite having met in circumstances that weren’t the best, it was still their first meeting in eight years and Joohee couldn’t help feeling regretful that it turned out the way it did. We need to go out together soon to make up for it, Joohee thought. It was the only way to appease her precarious heart. She made several calls to Dongwoo, none of which he picked up. She left it for a while, hoping that he’d call back, but the sky was about to turn dark and there was still no sign of him. She called him again and again, only to get disappointed each time. She began getting anxious that something ominous might have befallen him, until he finally called at 11:55 pm.

“Yah, where have you been?” she screamed into the phone, dropping any honorifics that she ought to have used.

“Joohee,” he greeted with a voice resembling the calm night sea, seemingly oblivious to the emotional turmoil he had her go through.

“How could you disappear for the whole day? Do you know how worried I was –”

“Thank you,” he cut in and said. Joohee paused in her tracks and only an utter slipped from . “Huh?”

“For being worried about someone like me,” he mumbled under his breath, as if speaking to himself. Failing to catch it, Joohee asked him to repeat his words, but Dongwoo, realizing that he’d just made audible his inner thoughts by accident, refused and tried to change the subject (well, more like getting back on the subject, actually).

“So why did you call me? Did you have something to say or?”

“I… I just wanted to ask you out again. Like, you know, actually have fun together. Yesterday was… unfortunately not that pleasant. But I want to make it right.”

Dongwoo’s heavy breath was caught by the receiver before he spoke. “It’s not your fault at all, Joohee. Please don’t ever think it is.”

“Okay, it’s not! But still,” she stopped to collect her thoughts before continuing, “I don’t want it to stay that way.”

“Of course we can,” he said, with a hint of smile in his voice.

“Huh?” Joohee found herself uttering again.

“Go out together,” he replied, “And have fun. Lots of fun.”

She couldn’t hide her surfacing smile upon hearing that. “Are you free this coming Thursday?” she followed up immediately. It was a whole four days away, but her job eliminated any other choice she could’ve had. She had numerous pockets of free time in between, but Joohee would much rather spend a full day with Dongwoo.

“Hmm,” he sounded, as if in thought, “Let me check my schedule…”

She laughed, and then said, “Yeah go ahead, you busy man. I’m calling it quits if you can’t even make time for your childhood friend who you happen to not have met for eight years.”

“Yah, how can I say no when you’ve put it like that?” he responded, somewhat indignantly, “I don’t want to lose a friend like you.”

“You don’t want to lose me, you mean,” she swiftly corrected.

“Joohee, some things should be left ambiguous,” he retorted, to which she simply guffawed. She sensed a warm flush washing over her. For a moment there, she felt like they were back in the days again, making jokes and laughing at each other without a care for the world. She saw a light in the midst of directionless darkness, that maybe, things could return to the way they were before, after all.

 

They agreed on a fixed time and venue to meet up, but just as Joohee was about to leave her house that day, she received a call from Dongwoo.

“Joohee-ya,” he began, with a hesitance that she could sense even across the phone line.

“Yeah?” she prompted, unable to suppress the fear of hearing the words he would say next. Her right hand was left gripping the cold metal handle of her door as she held the mobile phone within her damp left palm.

“I’m really, really sorry.” She hated hearing those words more than anything. They were not going to change anything, anyway.

“Something cropped up,” he said between breaths, “I – I can’t meet you anymore.”

Why are you so busy? What could be so important – Her spiteful thoughts were cut off by her own spoken voice, the words clearly filtered through some system that every tactful person develops in their lifetime. “It must be something important. Don’t worry; we can always meet another day.” She dearly hoped that she succeeded in hiding her disappointment.

“Hey, I understand if you’re upset,” he replied. She felt her lips go numb as she finally lifted her hand off the door handle, which already bore a translucent white mark outlining her grip.

“You don’t have to put on a front before me. But I swear this will be the last time I’m disappearing on you like that.”

“Honestly, it’s alright if you tell me beforehand,” she asserted, not skipping a beat.

“Even if it’s like ten minutes beforehand?” he followed, maintaining a dense apologetic tone. “No matter what, it’s my wrong, Joohee. I’ll make it up to you, hm?”

She was a little resentful at how apologetic he was, because then she couldn’t even get angry at him. She just felt suffocated by how everything was going, but it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It’ll pass, it’ll pass, she consoled herself, He said that this will be the last time.

“Of course!” she eventually exclaimed after a prolonged seven seconds, “There’s no way I’m missing out on a chance to have you do things for me.” The both of them transiently laughed, and then Dongwoo told her he needed to leave right then, so they disengaged.

Joohee let herself collapse on the couch, her desire to know Dongwoo’s secrets burning like a dissatisfying itch. “I can’t even spy on him at his house because I don’t know his new address!” she grumbled out loud, and then instantaneously sat up straight. “Wait,” she mumbled to herself as she reached out across the glass coffee table to grab her mobile phone. Subconsciously squinting from her frenzy, she scrolled through her phonebook impatiently until her eyes spotted a name, and her finger stopped right on it.

“Dongyoon oppa!” she cheerily greeted as soon as the line got through. The man on the other end clearly wasn’t as excited to hear from her.

“Joohee?” he questioned, his voice dripping with incredulity, “We haven’t talked in months, why –”

“Ayy,” she interrupted in an extraordinarily bubbly voice. “We’re friends, right? Do we even need a reason to catch up?”

“Joohee,” he said in his stern adult tone. “Out with it.”

She rolled her eyes and exhaled. Well, she was getting pretty restless herself, anyway.

“You’re so cold,” she gave a passing remark, before getting on to the reason for her abrupt call. “Okay, the thing is… I’m – no, just, do you know Dongwoo’s new address? Did he tell you, by any chance?”

“I’d ask why you’re getting it from me and not Dongwoo himself, but I doubt you’d tell me so here you go.” Following a brief pause, he asked, “Do you want to get a pen and paper?”

“All prepared!” she exclaimed in response, her pronunciation marred by the pen cover held between her teeth.

Once Dongyoon finished reciting the address to her, he declared, “Alright, I’m busy so –”

“Wait!” she shouted, and then lowered her volume before carrying on, “– just a minute.”

Dongyoon silently waited on the other end, the absence of phone slamming noise or disconnect tone evidence that he was still there.

“Have you heard anything from Dongwoo these few days?” she cautiously inquired.

“Not really, I think he’s busy settling down?” Dongyoon returned in a similarly uncertain tone. “I haven’t caught up with him yet either. I offered to help him tidy up his place the other day but he said he had to go somewhere.”

“You didn’t ask where?” Joohee promptly asked. As she talked, she casually spun the pen with her right hand such that it occasionally hit the small slip of paper where Dongwoo’s address was written. Her eyes were fixed on the letters but not really processing them as a whole.

His brusque reply came shortly after. “No. He’d say it if he wanted to. I’m not his babysitter anymore.”

It was sometimes hard for Joohee to believe that Dongyoon and Dongwoo were blood brothers, with their personalities being worlds apart. Dongwoo was vivacious, adventurous, and always spoke in a warm manner. Even at the age of 26, he never ceased to embrace a child-like mind. Dongyoon was the opposite end of the pole – he was practical, prudent and always spoke in a straightforward manner, which could at times be mistaken as insensitive. Though Dongyoon was in reality only two years older than Dongwoo, because of his character, he seemed to mature way beyond his years. But Joohee had long gotten used to this. It was interesting to note the differences between them; she thought it enhanced their group dynamics.

Having said that, there were still moments they just couldn’t see eye to eye. “Aren’t you worried though?” she said, “He seems so secretive these days. You know, when I met him at the airport –”

“Yeah?” Dongyoon prompted as Joohee retracted her wayward tongue. I probably shouldn’t reveal that to anyone…

“No, no, it’s nothing,” she quickly followed up.

“Look,” Dongyoon began, taking hold of Joohee’s mistake to prove his point, “You’re keeping secrets too. It’s just normal. I’m sure Dongwoo’s fine.”

Joohee cringed as she accidentally bit her tongue a little too hard. A tinge of metallic taste started diffusing in . “Yeah, you’re aight,” she conceded, tongue-tied, “Thowy, I ack-hi-hentally weed my hung.”

Dongyoon let slip a rare chuckle and said, “Take care, Joohee.”

“Eh,” she uttered.

“If you’re worried, I’ll call Dongwoo soon to check up on him. He’s an independent adult now, but that kid needs to be pinned down sometimes.”

Joohee wordlessly laughed.

Her tongue finally soothed enough for her to speak decently. “Thanks for the address,” she told him before they exchanged goodbyes and hung up. She then picked up the slip of paper and gave it a satisfied flick.

I’m just making sure he’s alright… I’m not really spying on him… She repeatedly assured herself. I should get him a small gift so if I ever get busted, it’ll just seem like a nice gesture rather than an unwelcome stalk. And indeed, she popped by the convenience store to grab a few bars of his favourite chocolate before heading down to the address.

 

When Joohee got to the unit, she saw that the curtains were drawn and there was no light peeking out from underneath the door. It seemed like he wasn’t home. Not like she could knock on his door either. Unless she was really going by the excuse of Oh, I got you a welcome back gift! And just wanted to, you know, take a look at your house even though you didn’t invite me. She shook her head hard, and then decided to standby concealed behind a nearby wall while waiting for a bit (she had grown quite terrified of stairwells). Thirty minutes passed by and she thought to herself, “This is a stupid idea, after all. What are you doing with life, Joohee?” She was about to make the turn out of the wall’s shadow when she heard footsteps and a talking voice coming her way. She swerved on her heel back into position, unconsciously holding her breath in that instant.

“Nam Woohyun, are you really going to keep doing this?” he spouted in exasperation. Joohee moved slowly with her back plastered against the wall and took a small peek. She had never seen Dongwoo looking that peeved before.

“Quit laughing. I’m not going to keep giving in to your blackmail,” he growled, “You know what, expose it! You’re the one who did it, anyway. Who’s going to get a greater punishment, huh?” Dongwoo was standing still in front of his door, holding on to his keys but not using them.

His expression softened as he listened to the man named Woohyun, and his raised brows gradually arched downwards. In a small voice, he spoke again. “I’ll come clean with her sooner or later, anyway.”

Another brief silence until Dongwoo responded. “Yeah, it doesn’t matter.”

 

Woohyun paced about in his container bedroom, mulling over their conversation. He happened to walk in front of the mirror and taking an upward glance, he realized that he looked remorseful. Empathy was the worst trait he could have for his job.

“Hey, I don’t want to push too far either,” he defended, “but I really just need ₩1,000,000 more. What do you say we end this whole thing tomorrow?”

He inhaled sharply while waiting for Dongwoo’s reply. “Full stop? No more games?” Dongwoo said, still doubtful.

“No more games,” Woohyun responded and then released a sigh as his eyelids fluttered shut. “I’m tired of everything too.” I’m tired of this life.

 

“7 pm, same place at Park Square tomorrow?” Dongwoo confirmed. “Call,” he said after several seconds, and with that, their deal was sealed.

He finally kept the phone in his pocket and inserted his keys into the door hole as Joohee shakily wondered if it would be too much of her to go to Park Square the next day. But there must be a reason why Dongwoo is keeping this whole incident from me, right? What if I spoil everything by interfering –

Screw that. I consider too much for him.

 

Joohee did realize that she had no idea where their “same place” was, but she decided to just sit in the café and keep a lookout until Dongwoo appears – if he does. She was people watching intently when she caught sight of a familiar figure, and it wasn’t Dongwoo. It was the man who had attempted to hurt her back at the airport. She hadn’t seen him for days, but she was certain. After all, she had mistaken him for her childhood best friend for a good four hours or so.

He kept on walking, and as discreetly as possible, she got up from her seat and followed. He eventually settled down at a secluded corner in the surrounding park area. With an open newspaper as disguise, she observed him with perplexity from a nearby bench, for about a minute. Whatever was left of her capacity to be astounded was poured out when she witnessed Dongwoo walking straight up to the man. It wasn’t entirely unexpected, but it did throw her emotions further into disarray.

Dongwoo passed the man, whom Joohee inferred to be Woohyun, a paper bag holding a large box. “You got me in so much trouble with the bank you have no idea,” Dongwoo snapped.

“Thanks a lot,” Woohyun simply said with a grin as he received the bag. With a sigh that seemed almost regretful of their parting, he finished off, “I guess that’s goodbye for now.”

“I don’t even want to see you again,” Dongwoo truthfully returned.

“You’re kidding,” Woohyun said disbelievingly, “Are you secretly filthy rich or something? With the amount of money you’ve given me, you should be dying to see me again.”

“What, so I can keep being your cash machine? No way,” Dongwoo kept going in his unusually gruff tone, one which Joohee was awfully unfamiliar with. “I told you this will be the absolute last time.”

“I meant it when I said I’d return you the full sum eventually,” Woohyun insisted, “I just don’t know when that’ll be.”

Dongwoo scoffed, “Save it, man. Just my luck to be acquainted with someone like you.” Even with the significant distance, Joohee could see Woohyun’s facial features traversing into a notable frown. Whether he was purposefully ignoring Woohyun or just oblivious, Dongwoo turned to leave without another word. Precisely, Woohyun shouted after him, “Who’s the one who hired a trained assassin to kill his friend though? Even with such elaborate details?” Dongwoo instantly spun around and reached close enough to cover Woohyun’s mouth in just a couple of strides. If it were equated with a laser beam, his glare would be able to slice through the hardest of diamonds.

Woohyun slapped Dongwoo’s hand away without hesitance. “Why? Now you’re afraid?” Woohyun provoked, despite Dongwoo breathing down his collar with a murderous glint in his eyes. Dongwoo said only one word to him, but with burning intensity. “Stop.”

“This is exactly why you should think long and hard through your every decision.” Disregarding the clearly given warning, Woohyun carried on, enunciating his words in a rather self-righteous way.

“Would you be in this line if you practiced what you preach?” Dongwoo slammed the ball back into Woohyun’s court. Finding himself unable to immediately refute the argument, Woohyun went along with mirroring Dongwoo’s glare and stance.

Joohee couldn’t carry on watching anymore. Aside from her own overwhelmed heart which had disintegrated into unidentified pieces from the atomic-like impact of the news, she couldn’t deal with the way they were challenging each other like immature elementary students, either. For some reason, she was pretty assured that they wouldn’t end up actually killing each other, so as discreetly as she’d involved herself, in the same way she stepped down.

 

 ^““In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, do not give the devil a foothold.”

– Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)