Dongwoo's diary entries

One month later

Everyday is a struggle to get up and keep going. I still haven't gotten over the fact that she's left me.. I mean really left me. I'm broken. Shattered. I haven't left the house, other than for school. I don't talk to anyone. I try not to shut everyone out, but I just can't utter a word for fear that I might break down and sob in front of everyone. Everything reminds me of her. I hate her. I wish I never met her. Umma is calling me for a meal.. But I just don't have the appetite anymore.

Three months later

 I just didn't expect it to end this way. I'm not angry at anymore. I just hoped that we could've worked it out. There are thousands of long distance couples out there, they're all doing fine.. I don't know why she couldn't just work it out with me. We could have made it through this.. I still think of her everyday, it's driving me crazy. But then again I didn't expect to recover from this kind of heartbreak so quickly. No one wakes up from a break up and goes, "Hey, I feel tons better today. Let's go out and find another person to love." No. I miss her so much. I miss the way she giggles, the way she speaks, how her hair feels against my cheek during hugs. Her habit of looking at my forehead for some reason before kissing me. She probably didn't notice this, but I did. I want her back, I'm desperate. I've tried looking for her online, but nothing comes up. She doesn't want to be found.. By me at least. And the reality hits me...

She probably doesn't even love me anymore.

Six months later

After months of sobbing over nothing, moping around for nothing, being dead-weight for nothing. I'm finally going to stop and put myself together again, I still love her. But she's just a part of my past now. I need to be a man again. The guys are doing everything to get me out again, but I don't think I'm ready to do that just yet.

Nine months later

I feel like I'm okay now. I mean, to put it in shorter terms. I've accepted everything. If it's meant to be, she'll come back into my life somehow. But I'm not holding onto that thought. I'm not even hoping for it to happen.. On another note, I've finally agreed to go out with the guys. I don't know what to expect, but I hope that tonight will be one heck of a night.

-----------------

OTL I'm sorry it took so long, but here's an update. I'm working on 6 right now. :D Almost done.