How Much Longer (Until I Break)

Description

"Happiness? What's that?"

-Oh Sehun

 

 

 

 

 

Foreword

Warnings: (spoiler: bullying, violence, details and descriptive images of suicide) angst, lots of it.

Genre: Angst, Highschool!au, idk this is just sad in general i think with littlleeeeee bit of fluff at the end. =)

Pairings/Characters: Sehun-centric (with a bit of times in Chanyeol's point of view), BaekYeol (more towards the end, oops).

A/N: This is actually the longest fic i've written thus far (it's like 10.8k) and I think i'm pretty proud of it (some parts could have been written better, not going to lie, but again, I am still developing my writing skills). Please (if you checked them) take the warnings seriously, this could be classified as triggering, idk. 

I don't know a lot about occupations and jobs, nor do I have any real medical knowledge, but I have an idea about depression and anxiety as some of the things described here are based on personal occurrences; if any of the descriptions or symptoms written do not seem accurate to anyone, please do not be offended as these are only things I have managed to experience/ have seen someone else experience. =)

Just to let you know beforehand (because i didn't really explain it in the fic) Sehun is around 16 years of age (Jongin is 17 while Tao is 18) and he is taken care of by single father Chanyeol (bc who doesn't love single!dad yeol). Their age difference is only 19 years (I explained why in the fic dw) and there is baekyeol in this, okay, i can't NOT include my OTP.

If you are reading this, I thank you so much and I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. =)

Reference on how I pictured each member bc i at describing appearances => here

[13/04/16] Not an update but more of a message; thanks for reading and subscribing even until now!! ^^ I really appreciate the feedback this (and my other fics) have been getting, though comments that are not feedback are still much appreciated and bring a smile to my face! :3 Thank you always and I can't wait to start writing again (I have about 3 new fic ideas that I just haven't had time to write). <3

 

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yehet_pcy #1
3/2. Whats important now is hes living and alive and has realizations. It isnt because jisoo is out of school that he can be at peace now, but because hes learning to love himself and learning that the people around him that matter will always be there for him. Im really happy with that development even tho it wasnt emphasized towards the end of the fic, it was obvious sehun was happier now and thats really what matters
That baekyeol was good relief from the stress of sehuns attempted suicide hahahahha too cute. And now sehun is even being his dad:s wingman... Hahahha theyre both so lame HAHAHAH but how cute is it that theyll turn out to be best friends and then MORE THAN BEST FRIENDS as in marry, then they can be a happy family. I bet thatd be even better for sehun as well.
Ahhhh what an emotional fic i really enjoyed this. I literally read this in one go ahhhh really. Heavy on the heart but really nice too. Thank you for writing and sharing!!!!
yehet_pcy #2
Chanyeol as a father... At first i was gonna get mad at him bec wHY IS HE NEVER HOME but then i find out hes a single father so of course he has to work his job really well for them both. What made me really tear up at the moment he was rushing home was my impression that maybe he didnt care so much was contradicted. I realized how much sehun means to him and how much he loves him, and that he wasnt not spending tine with sehun on purpose. In retrospect ithink sehun knew that too and thats why there were never hard feelings for yeol or anything like that. That yeol was crying and breaking down thinking sehun wouldnt get through this was all the indication i needed. He loved his son very much and what matters now is that hes going to be there for sehun mORE
Sehun as a character i never saw as weak, just really beaten up and at the wrong place. He knew that he was a good person and that matters, but it hurts to think he thought he wasnt good enough. I dont want to be angry at him for what hes done, instead im understanding that at a young age it was easy to let everything crash down, it was too much to take, and he isnt to be blamed. Suicide wouldnt have been the answer, but he thought it might have been 2/2
yehet_pcy #3
Ya im ok
Ahhhhhh but wow.... This fic.... I shed like 4 tears reading this, especially at the part when yeol was rushing home and sehun was done waiting
This is a horribly realistic fic i really..... There are a lot of fics that do a good job tackling bullying really well and this is definitely one of them
Im just in love with how sehun's mind works. I mean not in love with his depression, im in love with how well you wrote it??? Personal struggles are always so hard to word out but in this fic it was just so raw and real
I love tao and jongin so much for loving sehun so much. How easy would it be to just give up on a person who didnt want to open up to you? And yet jongin and tao never, not once, saw or thought of sehun as a burden. They did his best to protect him not because they thought he was weak, but because they cared for him so much. They were so sensitive and considerate to sehun's feelings, every time they thought they scared sehun or made him feel anxious, they apologized. Thats really precious and im so happy that sehun has friends like them and deep down i know sehun is grateful too....
Jisoo.... Can go himself.... I dont care.... All i want is for him to never hurt sehun or anyone ever again. How dare he? What the . Sehun doesnt deserve it him god what the hell i was so mad 1/2
Kaeiley #4
Chapter 1: This story was amazing! I loved it, you're a very good writer <3 Sehun broke my heart, my sweet baby ^^
GazettExoticfan12 #5
Chapter 1: I'm not ashamed to say I cried when Sehun tried to kill himself >_< The story reflects reality and I really liked it ^o^!
FindMyselfLostInTime #6
Chapter 1: this was amazing and i just wanted to let you know that your skills as a writer are phenominal (SP?). You made Sehun such a relatable character and i don't think you know the amount of tears i shed at this. i look forward to reading your other pieces of art. Te deseo lo mejor!!!!
exosbiggestfangurl #7
Chapter 1: your story was amazing! i cried so much and to say the least your story has left me speechless and a changed person! what a marvelous job on depicting the everyday struggle of many modern day teens! i look forward to more oneshots in the future!
carmennho #8
gurl im speechless, i srsly enjoyed reading this so so much. I felt tears coming out and the baekyeol scene!!1!! why you do dis?? the feels ;u; cant wait for your next fanfic!!!
softjimin #9
do you know how much I cried reading this sehun and the bathtub scene ;; you have an amazing talent for writing and this needs more views!!
exofyy #10
Chapter 1: I think this needs more votes and subscribers
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