Chapter 13: Flame

Sehun

            “What’s on your mind?”

            I turned to see Haerin walking towards me, a soft look in her eyes. “Just… thinking,” I offered lamely. It was clear she didn’t buy my explanation – who would?

            Thankfully, though, she didn’t pry, stopping next to me and mirroring my pose – elbows propped up on the railing, looking out over the river. She wasn’t wearing a coat – in the brisk air and harsh wind, it didn’t take much calculation to conclude she was probably freezing. “It’s fine. I actually came to get you back.”

            “How long have I been gone?”

            She shrugged dismissively. “Only half an hour. The river’s beautiful in the winter, isn’t it?”

            I looked at her, gazing out over the scenery with a kind of understanding that only artists could have, and smiled. “Everything’s more beautiful in the winter. Sadder, too.”

            She turned to look at me, and for a long moment we stood there, looking at each other, trying to decipher the other’s thoughts. What did she think of me – cowardly, for running outside after Jinyoung had told us everything? Did she understand what it was like to receive that kind of information?

            Looking at her, I realized she probably did. It was clear she’d gone through something tragic – something that rendered her afraid of contact and detached from the world at times. And yet, besides those two points, she was still strong, still kind.

If anything, I admired her.

            “Let’s go back,” I suggested, reaching out to take her hand before remembering how uncomfortable it would make her and pulling away. “It’s freezing outside.”

--

Haerin

            Jaebum and Jinyoung were waiting for us when we returned, hands folded behind their backs in identical poses.

            “I told you so,” Jinyoung muttered, and Jaebum’s eyes glinted with amusement.

            “Mark and Bambam haven’t returned,” he informed, stepping closer. “We’re going to go find them. You’re safe for now – I talked to Kris before he left.”

With those four sentences, they left, leaving two shivering, confused people in their wake.

            “I’ll adjust the thermostat,” Sehun said once the sound of their footsteps had faded. “Stay in the kitchen – it’s warmest there.” He turned, then paused and looked over his shoulder at me. “Unless, of course, you can’t stay.”

            I shook my head, rubbing my frozen hands together to warm them up. I had a little homework, but that was trivial compared to what must be going on in Sehun’s head at the moment. I was surprised he could cope so well – other than an obviously messed-up relationship with his father, it seemed like he’d been living in a bubble all his life, away from death and pain. The fact that some of his friends had likely died in the fire that destroyed his town probably hadn’t even registered with him yet.

            Sehun returned a few minutes later, as the house was gradually beginning to heat up, and tossed a blanket my way. Sitting on one of the stools in front of the granite island in the middle of the kitchen, I caught it and wrapped it around myself, melting into the familiar scratch of wool against my skin. He sat opposite me, another blanket thrown over his shoulders, and propped his elbows up onto the island surface, resting his head in his hands. I watched him silently – he would talk to me in time. There was no need to ask him to.

            Sure enough, five minutes later, he mumbled, “I have a headache.”

            I allowed a small smile of triumph to overcome my facial muscles, hiding it with a hand. “Not unexpected.”

            “Part of me wants to run away,” he continued, propping his chin up on his hands so he met my eyes. “Part of me just wants to take a bus and go as far away as possible, and forget about everything. Part of me hates Kris and Jinyoung and Jaebum and you for getting me into this mess, even though I know it’s not your fault. I just – do you know what it’s like, Haerin? Knowing you might just be the person to ‘restore balance to everything’?”

            I stayed silent. I didn’t.

            In fact, I had no idea how h