Hoseok was in a predicament; Jimin was stretched across the couch, head in the older boy’s lap, and Hoseok had to pee.  The problem was, if he moved, he risked facing the wrath of Park Jimin awakening from a deep slumber.  Neither boy wished for that to happen, which is why Hoseok was now attempting to squirm out from underneath the sleeping boy; Jimin only pressed his head to Hoseok’s stomach further, hands finding the material of his shirt and balling his fists in it, as a child would do.  

“Hobi,” Jimin whined, not daring to open his eyes, but sinking further into Hoseok’s thin frame.  

Jimin was an unmoveable object in sleep, but as soon as he woke up, cranky fits were to ensue, and Hoseok sure as hell wasn’t ready for that.  Instead of standing up right away, he carded his fingers through Jimin’s dyed strawberry blonde hair.   Jimin craved touch and attention like this and Hoseok’s hands were the perfect source (that, and Hoseok rathered Jimin not completely tell him off for standing up to relieve himself).  

“You’re really warm,” Jimin sighed, opening his eyes to lock looks with each other at the boy above him.  

Hoseok shrugged, stilling his hand for a moment before withdrawing it and wedging both hands between Jimin and his thighs, trying to get him to sit upright.  

“I have to piss,” he complained, “Get up.” Jimin finally complied after some prodding and tickling.  Jimin’s hair was sticking up in tuffs and his lips were parted in a small pout that Hoseok wished he could kiss off his face, but it wasn’t his place.  With the look Jimin was giving him, Hoseok could guess that in his best friend’s eyes, he was the worst person in the world right now.  

Hoseok stood and adjusted his shirt, promising to be right back.  Jimin responded with tired yawn and told him that he would be in the bedroom.  

After Hoseok finished in the bathroom, he went to his bedroom only to find his best friend snuggled deep beneath the covers of his bed.  His heart could have melted right there as he stood in his door frame.  Without much contemplation, he padded next to the other boy and slipped in the bed.  Jimin was obviously drawn to the warm heat of the other body and wrapped his arms around Hoseok’s waist and pulling him into his chest.  Jimin sighed in content and tucked his head into the older boy’s neck.

“You're so warm,” Hoseok commented, reaching out to Jimin’s hair.

“Really? I'm freezing.” he laughed, breathing onto Hoseok’s neck, making him shiver.  Such an innocent act should not have sent Hoseok’s hormones skyrocketing, but it did.

After a few seconds of silence, Hoseok thought it was an appropriate time to make his annual check up.

“So, how have you been?  Like, are you okay?”

Jimin groaned, becoming more stiff against the older boy, “I don't want to talk about it.”

Hoseok decided to push even further, “I'm not leaving your house until you tell me what you've been up to.”

“Good.”

“Jimin, I'm serious.”

“I am too. I don't want you to go.”

That was some sort of red flag.  Hoseok shifted his weight so he was looking directly into Jimin’s eyes.

“What’s been up?”  Hoseok’s response sounded more of a demand than a question.  

Jimin’s eyes widened, his lip starting to visibly quiver.  He shook his head ever so slightly and squeezed his eyes shut, a whine in the form of a high pitched noise coming from his lips.

“I-I don't want to talk about it.”

Hoseok stopped, running his thumb along Jimin’s jawline, “Okay, okay.”

Jimin shook his head more and Hoseok thought the smaller boy was going to scream.  His small fists were balled and shaking, and for a second he thought he was having an attack. Hoseok took them in his own and inched closer to him, pressing their bodies as close as humanly possible with them still being able to breathe.  Compared to his own, Jimin’s hands seemed cold.

“Jimin?”

“No, no no.” he hid his face from Hoseok, turning away from him.

“Jim-”

“No!!” he shrieked, ripping his hands from his grasp and trying to kick him, yelling louder in a childlike manner.

Hoseok wrapped his arms tightly around Jimin and he kicked and scratched him, but Hoseok could take it.  It was a small price to pay to make sure his friend was safe.  He took a knee to the stomach and hugged onto him even tighter, no intention of loosening the grip.  Jimin was starting to shake, and Hoseok pressed him against his chest, brushing the boy’s hair from his forehead.  Jimin fought him more, scratching at his arms, close to drawing blood.  Jimin choked out, his lungs screaming for air; he searched for breath but he felt everything in his throat close.   What started as an initial panic attack triggered asthmatic symptoms.  Hoseok froze, eyes darting back and forth before retracting. Sobs escaped Jimin’s lips - Hoseok struggled to calm him, but after a particularly violent hit, he stilled.

Jimin wheezed, clutching his chest with one hand and sweat dripping down his temple.  He felt like he was underwater, trying to inhale; nothing but water entering his lungs.  It was only seconds later that Hoseok realized what was happening.  He jumped from the bed and raced to the bathroom, pushing bottles of pills to the side, looking for Jimin’s inhaler.  With shaking hands he finally found it, rushing back to the room and sitting the younger boy up before shaking it and giving him the device.   Jimin knocked his head against his friend’s chest, another wail of discontent leaving his mouth before Hoseok helped him raise the inhaler to his mouth and spray the aerosol down his throat.  He closed his eyes, waiting for the medication to set in.  Hoseok was silent, hands still shaking, and it wasn’t until a few minutes later Jimin finally spoke.

“Hoseok,” he started, tears rolling down his red cheeks, his voice hitching as he tried to regain his breath, “I don’t want you to go.”

So he stayed, arms cradling the younger boy and speaking softly to him, and Jimin appreciated it, he really did. He appreciated the soft platonic touches and words spoken in his ear by the older boy.  Jimin loved to feel warm and safe.  It was such a contrast from the cold metal feeling he faced every day Hoseok wasn’t with him.  On those days he found that he would lock himself away in the bathroom from the monsters.  Hoseok had once told him that when he was stressed out, he liked to take baths, and ever since, Jimin liked the feeling of warm water enveloping him, but he didn’t want to drown.

Hoseok was just the opposite.  He loved the numb sensation of not feeling at all, he usually welcomed solitude and found things to aid him with reaching the nirvanic state of cold bliss.  Ever since his first encounter with pills Hoseok felt more at ease.  He wanted to be isolated from his mind, and the pills did just the thing.

On the other hand though, Hoseok’s main responsibility was Jimin.  Hoseok was the source of Jimin’s happiness, and when he usually shut out the feelings, he warmly accepted them whenever Jimin was on the contributing end.  It was a constant war in his mind between the warm feeling the younger boy  gave him whenever he decided to curl up to his chest and breathe softly, just loud enough to hear.  The brainless, anesthetized ideal was a temporary high given to him, and it did its job; it shut him from the world.  Of course he knew it was bad for him, but for some reason he kept doing it.  He had recently taken up smoking in his small apartment, only when he was alone though; he would never advise Jimin to join him in such activities. Which is why, after ten minutes of silence, Hoseok was surprised when Jimin asked him about getting high.

“What does it feel like?”

“What does what feel like?” Hoseok responded, his voice muffled by Jimin’s hair.

“When you smoke, how do you feel?” Jimin said quickly, but not quite ashamed of his inquiry.  Hoseok thought for a few seconds, thinking of the right answer, not wanting to frighten the boy.

“It’s like, you’re in thin air, and you can’t breathe.” he paused, “At first, it doesn’t feel like it hit you, then slowly it comes and then it smacks you.  Then the next thing you know, you’re tripping.”

Jimin went silent before answering, “Can I try?”

Hoseok’s mind went blank, afraid of hurting the boy in his answer.  His initial thought was no, it was bad for him and his condition, it could get him killed.  Especially after such a frightening encounter with Jimin’s asthma attack, there was no way he was about to put him in even more danger.

“No, what the hell.  You almost died, you bet your sorry if I wasn’t here for that, you would be dead right now.”

Jimin didn’t answer, he only hummed in response, pressing himself closer to Hoseok.  Hoseok reached down and brushed his fingertips across Jimin’s cheek; the warm, pliant flesh feeling nice against his skin.  He loved the soft sigh the younger boy made when he touched his jaw, and just this once, Hoseok preferred to feel.