You’re a lone flower.
A cold, iced-over gaze,
starlight hidden in the depths.
If only I could wake you
from your long slumber
in the jet black darkness

***

 

Sehun was staring at his half empty glass, looking at the tip of it, at the liquor inside it before he rocked it lightly. Behind him, people were having the night to them, under the shimmering lights of the place, their faces glowed red, green, blue, so unreal, just like the smile on their faces. Sehun smirked  at the thought of it. The guy stood behind the counter offered him another glass to be refused by him, said that he would leave soon.

“Where to go, Sir? You’ve just arrived and now you are about to leave already.”

Sehun ignored his question, paid more attention to his own glass rather than the guy that had just talked to him.

“Your brother is upstairs at his office, you might at least want to greet him before leaving.”

Sehun put down his glass at last, “He’s back already?”

The guy nodded before Sehun let out a sigh. “You’re right, I should at least greet him.”

Sehun stood as the girls sat stools next to him started to buzz. He didn’t even bother to fix his hair and walked through the crowds, headed upstairs.

“Wah, is it really him?”

“It looks like yes.”, the girl starred at the guy behind the counter who now was approaching them.

“Another glass each, ladies?”

“And an answer.”, the girl pushed her glass towards him lightly.

“Who’s the guy you’ve just talked to, if you don’t mind.”

The guy hesitated for a second before he smiled.

“He’s just a regular visitor.”

“Interesting, such an honorific greeting for a regular visitor isn’t it?”

The guy shortly smiled before he poured the liquor into their glasses.

“Thank you.”

“Enjoy your drinks ladies.” He smiled again before leaving the girls.

“Hey, where’s Yujin anyway?”

The girls started to look around before returned to their matter.

“Toilet maybe.”

“What takes her so long for the toilet eh?”

“Only God knows.”

“Anyway, it seems like she starts to smoke recently, what’s wrong with that girl.”

One of the girl smirked as she stood up, “The hell with her, let’s just enjoy this night girlsss.”

The others followed her to the dance floor as they finished their drinks.

//

Sehun was standing in front of his brother’s door, hesitated. He was about to knock when he turned around and left for the rooftop instead. He breathed in the night air as he walked towards the edge of the rooftop. The city lights were glistening beneath, above, and as he looked forward. He shrugged before he closed his eyes, tried to breathe in the air as much as he could, when suddenly he heard a low coughing voice from behind a high pile of abandoned things. He slowly turned to expect someone in sight, but he found none. He silently approached the pile, not sure what he was expecting to find.

A girl was leaning her body against the wall that only reached up to her stomach, she was looking straight to the city, not realizing his presence. One of her arm was supporting her head on top of the wall while the other hand was holding a cigarette. She breathed in the smoke and let out a hanging thin cloud passed her face. Once, twice, and she started to cough again.

She finally felt something and turned to find a stranger was starring at her now, she let out a smirk before talked. “This isn’t a school rooftop is it, you can’t scold me for smoking.”

He finally caught a glimpse of her face, fair under the light. Her black hair was tied back and hung to her shoulder.

“Neither a place for a beginner like you to smoke.”, he said shortly as he walked to her.

She remained still. He was now standing not far from her, looking at the same direction as her, the hustle and bustle of Seoul at night. She offered him some and he took one, along with the lighter she handed to him. He lighted his cigarette before returned to his former state, looking at the scene in front of them. He was looking at the cigarette between his fingers, hesitated at first but he breathed in the smoke anyway. It had been a long time since his last cigarette, he recalled the feeling of smoke entering his throat, down to his lungs that refused it just before he coughed. The girl turned at him, tried to hold her laughter and appeared indifferent.

“Looks like I’m not the only beginner here.”

“It has been a while since my last, I’ve been trying to quit this, and look what I’m doing now.”, he starred at his cigarette.

“Oops, sorry then.”

He stayed still before breathed in the smoke again, not coughing this time.

She moved to lean against the wall behind her, breathed in the smoke for times, created her own thin cloud hanging in front of her. She starred at his broad back and looked away just before he turned. “You’d better quit before you ran out of your first pack.”

She smirked, “Look at yourself. You’d better stop before it went out.”

He bitterly smiled before returning to his former state.

“Why did you take it?”

He turned, not sure what she was saying.

“Why did you take it if you had been trying to quit?”

“Because I’m bored and I need one now.”

She was fixing her hair whilst breathing in the smoke, nodded at his answer.

“My turn, why you’re here instead of downstairs?”, he asked.

She laughed before talked, “Are we playing ‘One Question Each’ now?”, he shrugged, “Okay, I’m not copying your answer but I’m bored.”

He smiled, “Why?”

She shook her head, “Nope, it’s my turn,”, he laughed, she was stunned to see him laughing at first, but continued anyway, “Won’t you introduce yourself then?”, she wasn’t sure why she asked that but it had already slipped out of .

He folded his arms, “Well, does it matter to you?”

She was perplexed, “Forget it. I’m just asking.”, she let out another thin cloud.

“I’m not good at remembering names and I’m not used to this thing, introducing myself.”, he said at last.

“Um, well, that’s slightly odd.”

“No. They called it cruel.”, he said plainly.

“What’s the point of being kind anyway.”

They looked at each other for quite a moment before she looked away and let out her last thin cloud. “Nice to talk to you,”, she paused and smiled, “but I got to go.”.

“Hey, thank you for the cigar.”, he yelled as she left.

She turned and smiled before disappearing behind the door.

//

Yujin returned to her friends downstairs when they had already reserved a spot for them, slightly too big for just the four of them.

“Hey, we’ve been looking for you! What takes you so long eh?”

“Sorry, I needed some fresh air, but that’s okay now.”, Yujin was about sit when one of her friends suddenly stood.

“Omo, Youngjae is here already.”, Nari exclaimed as a guy walked to them.

“Hi girls, having the night only to yourselves eh? So mean!”

“Hi Youngjae.”, the girls greeted him as he hugged Nari.

“Aren’t the others coming with you?”, Jisoo asked as she checked for the other guys who had promised to come.

“No need to worry, they’re on their way here, but first, let me borrow Nari for a while, okay?”

Nari giggled as they left for the dance floor.

“So you invited them too?”, Yujin asked Jisoo.

She nodded, “Don’t worry, I told Sungjin to bring Woobin along, he’s totally crazy about you, can’t you see that?”

“Stop it, you will only raise his expectation, I told you I can’t do this.”, she said plainly.

“Here you go again, playing hard to get Im Yujin?”, she sighed, “don’t you know who his father is? Didn’t you say that you wanted to be a professional model?”

Yujin stayed still.

“Hey, hey, chill out girls, we’re having fun here, don’t ruin the mood okay?”, Sooyoung came in between them.

“Tell your friend to stop playing hard to get, she only wastes her time doing that.”, Jisoo spoke without looking at Yujin.

“I’m not playing hard to get, it’s just-“, Yujin lost on her words.

“You’ve changed, that’s the problem with you, don’t you know how long I’ve been holding this?”, Jisoo burst out.

“Enough Jisoo.”, Sooyoung cut out.

“I think I should leave now, I don’t want to ruin your night, sorry Sooyoung.”, she paused, “and yes I’ve changed, things are changed, what’s the problem with that? At least I’m not dating a guy just because I want to be a model.”

Jisoo was about to speak when Sooyoung stopped her. “Don’t you want to wait for them, at least so you won’t go home alone?”

Yujin slightly shook her head, “That’s okay Sooyoung, I’ll be doing just fine.”

“are you sure?”

She nodded at her before turned at Jisoo and left them shortly.

//

Sehun was about to leave when his brother went out of his office.

“Aren’t you going to see me, Sehun?”

Sehun was stunned to hear his brother voice and turned.

“You haven’t changed a bit.”

Sehun stayed still.

“No wonder Dad had to call me here.”

“Oh, so you came back because he told you to.”, Sehun said shortly.

“Because I’m still the only son he can rely on.”

“Say whatever you want, I’m not giving a about it anymore.”, he was about to leave when his brother held his arm.

“Don’t you know what’s the worst from all of this?”, he paused, “to see your face again.”

Sehun let go of his firm hold and left at once.

He was heading to his bike, thoughts were filling his head, rage was getting over him and his heart felt heavy as hell. He finally got on his bike, kicked its standard roughly, put on his helmet and started the engine as he let out the rage gone along with the roaring engine. He rode out of the parking lot and to the nearly empty night street, having it almost to his own when a glimpse of a familiar profile came to his sight. He slowed down as the girl walking on the pavement turned before she started to walk faster, close to running. He lifted the visor to call the girl when he realised that he didn’t even know her name.

“Hey! Hey! It’s me!”

The girl kept looking forward and speeding up.

“Hey, it’s me! I need another cigar!”, he yelled at her, realised that the engine sound was too much for his own voice to be  heard clearly. She turned at last and he halted to a stop. He took off his helmet before he spoke to her,

“Didn’t expect to meet you again this soon.”

She breathed heavily, “Neither did I.”

“Where are you heading?”

“Seocho.”

“I’m heading that way too, you can get on my bike, it will be faster and safer than you wandering alone at this late.”

“I’m fine, you don’t have to pretend that we’re heading the same way. It’s not that far from here anyway.”

“I told you it will be faster and safer, and I’m really heading that way,”, he sighed, “let me do you a favour for the cigar you gave me.”

She smiled, “a ride home to pay off a cigar? I don’t even know you.”

“Hello, nice to see you again, my name is Sehun.”, he paused, “Is that enough for you to know me then?”

She muffled, “What are you, really? Not even care to introduce yourself properly but willing to give stranger a ride home.”, she looked at him, “Forget it, I’ll call a taxi.”, she was fishing for the phone in her purse with him still looking at her when she finally got a hold of it, motionless in her hand, she tried to turn on her dead phone. She silently swore to forget charging her phone before she left.

He waited. She lifted her shoulders firmly out of frustration.

“If you want to pay off the cigar, just lend me your phone, it will be more than enough.”

He tried to hold back the feeling. She knew she had lost to him, a stranger she had just met.

“I don’t have it with me, I’m just going out for a drink.”, he rubbed the back of his neck, “Just get on my bike.”

She hesitated but some part of her sort of believed in him, and she knew that whatever happened next, couldn’t be worse than the last few days. She finally stepped off the pavement and climbed on his bike, she was glad that she wore jeans right now, she couldn’t imagine climbing on such a bike wearing skirt when even a jeans still made her struggle. She finally got on the bike after a while, making him holding back his laughter.

“I bet this is your first.”

She stayed still, tried to steady herself so she wouldn’t lean against him accidentally.

“Oh wait,”, he paused to take off his helmet and turned, without her even expecting them to be this close, their faces were just inches away and she couldn’t move any inch, “here, I think you need this more than me right now.”, he handed her his helmet. She took and put it on right after he turned away. She could feel his scent all over the helmet, so delicate, and now she breathed it in. She was about to close her eyes when he suddenly spoke,

“Where do you live?”

“The ___”

He turned again, and she was glad that now there was the helmet that hid her face. But that was just before he stretched his arm and lifted the visor to expose her face.

“Where?”

“The ___”, she repeated. He chuckled, “So we’re actually neighbours but end up meeting like total strangers.”

She frowned to his words, “What do you mean?”

“I also live at that building, the 9^th floor, 925.”

She was stunned, it was just floors above her unit. “Oh, what a coincidence.”

“Indeed.”, he added before he turned, “Now we sounds normal, neighbours who happen to meet at the street and go home together.”, he kicked off as the engine roared again, she jolted forward from the sudden acceleration. Her eyes widened to realise just how fast they went. The rough wind was sweeping her shirt as they shot forward and she automatically got hold of something just behind her lower back. His hair was dancing as the wind blew it and she started to feel sorry for the helmet, he must needed it now.

They finally reached the building and headed for the parking lot, the walls echoed the sound of the engine as they went by. They skidded to a stop for a spot just next to another bike, one of the very few and now his bike was adding the row.

The engine stopped roaring just before she took off the helmet, not sure when would she be able to get off the bike. He supported the bike with his firm legs instead of the pole and told her to get off while he did so. Another struggle but smoother now and she was already standing on her feet, fixing her shirt and hair when he got off the bike smoothly. It seemed effortless when he did it.

“We’re here.”, he smiled.

“Thank you,”, she paused, “I’m Yujin by the way, you still haven’t asked my name.”

He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck again, she started to find it cute when he did it and she smiled.

“What’s so funny?”

She shook her head and folded her arms behind her back, ready to head for the lift.

“What floor are you?”, he asked as they walked to the lift.

“Seventh.”

The lift came not long after they arrived and got in to it at once. They had the lift for themselves.

“You’re my first passenger.”

“Am I? Well, that’s also my first ride.”

He smiled.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, It’s just funny to see you keep trying to maintain that image of yours when you’re actually scared for your first ride.”

She pouted.

“And, well, actually, you’re my first passenger that chooses the tip instead of my back, or my shoulder, or my waist, how does it feel then? The tip of my bike that you keep holding on to so tight I worried you might break it back then.”

“Now that’s cruel.”, she frowned at him, he tried to hold back his laughter and she smiled.

The lift finally reached the seventh floor. The door slid open and she was about to step off the lift when she halted and turned,

She thanked him while she was searching for the pack and lighter inside her purse.

“You said you need this,”, she paused to hand them over to him who was still astounded on his feet, “You can keep them so we’re even.”

“Well, thank you.”

She smiled, “Good night then, see you when I see you.”

“Good night.”

The door closed  at last.

Hope to see you again soon.

//

Yujin threw herself on the bed after finished washing her face. She stared at the empty ceiling above her. She could still feel the lingering scent of him and she smiled.

--

Sehun got to lie on his bed at last. He tried to close his eyes when the picture of her laughing came in to his mind, her glistening skin, bright eyes, and thin lips were filling his head, he opened his eyes and smiled.

//