Route: C // October 8th, 2015.

Time is on Kim Taeyeon's side - quite literally.

She used to be down to earth as Earthworm Jim, but that era of Kim Taeyeon came to an abrupt end when she discovered that her pathetic loser self apparently has been holding a gift that will make CERN surely kiss the ground she has ever walked on. The supernatural ability of going back to the past is, overall, handy and nifty and, well, super. If the world knew about it, she would have been nixed out of the country already and made a lab rat for the rest of her meager life.

So. How to utilize her supernatural time-traveling ability without looking like a Doctor Who Comes True?

"Countdown to three. It's a showdown." Sooyoung declares in mock-bravado, her English test paper face-down. "The bigger idiot between us will be the shuttle-bread for the week."

Taeyeon's 45 wouldn't win her anything, but it's still nice to bluff her way onto the enemy's morale. Her confident smirk looks stupid in actuality, (like, her too-large front teeth just wouldn't allow for an intimidating look) and Sooyoung has the mental strenght of the Berlin Wall, but... "Huh. Sure."

"Confident, aren'tcha, for a fellow remedial-monger? On three, on two, on one..."

Sooyoung's 48 tramples all over her. The lanky giant does a victory dance that reminds her of tall corny plants billowing in the wind. "Get me something orange now. Chop chop!"

"Sure." She replies with a smile, closes her eyes, feels herself mouthing something she has grown accustomed into, then zips into the past with the knowledge of all the answers she got wrong. Sooyoung can celebrate her short-lived joy for all she cares.
 

Route: D // October 8th, 2015.

" ," Sooyoung, eyes wide, backs off in a mix of surprise and dread, the back of her hips meeting a neighbouring table in a loud thud, "did you cheat or life cheated me?"

I cheated life. "Please, Soo. This is the fruit of hardwork."

"Hard work hardly works."

True. She tried studying, but life has driven her to the point where she has to rely on leaping back to the past to make sure she passes all the important tests. Crowds begin to gather and gawk at the 96-marked paper, throwing in mixed reactions Taeyeon pretends to be proud of. Time-travels begin to eat away her sense of "happiness is a simple thing" and it'll take more than lucky above-average test scores to score in her happiness quota. The bar has risen.

Still, she has to pretend like she hit a jackpot or something. She grins to the pats on her back and encouraging words thrown around by her classmates. 

"Soo, orange."

Sooyoung is such a natural at going deaf to anything but . "Okay, so you might be in a lucky streak. Sure. Winning some shampoo brand lottery is something, you went through sixteen years of bad luck and maybe the god up there decided that it's time to give you, well, things."

"Okay."

"So, okay. Kim Taeyeon won a lottery. Big deal. You hitting it off with Jessica Jung, though?"

Sooyoung's scrutinizing eyebrows seal her victory nicely. She puts on a sheepish smile. Before she could retort back, the sound of chair pulled closer catches her attention, and there's Sunny with her usual dead-fish eyes. Another curious she needs to lie through. "Taeyeon and Jessica in the same sentence?"

"They are apparently friends now." Sooyoung barks back, making bewildered hand gestures.

"We're not friends. Just... business partners."

Sunny quirks an eyebrow. "Elaborate."

Before she could cough up a laconic description of whatever she and Jessica is right now, someone is leaning on the doorjamb, eyes searching the classroom upside-down. Jessica's looking for her, and she might be her way out of this. She waves her hand as an S.O.S and Jessica quickly makes her way to their group of three, steps hasty. She observes the way the sea of her classmates dissolves away to the side, making a runway for Jessica.

Some says that it's the Sica Effect, but it's probably just the fact that no human could stand so close to the sun.

"Tae... urgent."

Taeyeon's already standing by the time Jessica turns her back on her. 

"Do I have a say in this or nein?"

"Not really."

Jessica wordlessly beckons her to follow. It has always been like this, and Taeyeon doesn't mind the dumbfounded looks her classmates are corralling against her right now. She likes surprises from time to time.

While it is virtually impossible for a human to hover so close to the sun, no mortal could bend the permanency that is time and space, so in a sense, she's not one anymore.
 

The door to the music room closes with a rusty click.

"So, what's so urgent?"

A laugh zips out of her pursed lips and traces of the seriousness in her face melts away entirely. "You looked like you were knee-deep into deep ."

"Mmm. They asked about you."

"What about me?"

"Earthworm Taeyeon would never be able to befriend Jessica Jung, el soeil."

Jessica's laugh is crisp and everything autumn. "You have your ways with words for someone who's a part of the back of the class crew. that not many get to see this side of you..."

Taeyeon's sitting backwards on a creaky chair that used to collect dusts before their now-daily rendezsvous while Jessica has her legs crossed over another, perched atop a desk. Just the usual. The silence shared between them has always been comforting, the heat trapped between their three-tiles space enough to quench the chilly October air. Jessica has this habit of forgetting to close the window from time to time.

"Speaking of," she rummages through her school bag, that's somehow in the room, which means she's skipping school, "I picked out these. We have, like, a week to prepare for the preliminary. I have all the time in the world, but not you. You go to classes like, you know, everyday, very-human mortals."

She has all the time in the world. You have no idea. She takes the music sheets for a closer look, knitting eyebrows at the scales and notes. "Tchaikovsky?"

"It starts a snoozefest and goes uphill into some kind of medieval battle theme. The clash between piano and violin. You and I, at each other's throats,"

"I, a noob at everything that isn't lazing around, will get KIA halfway. You're a violin prodigy, you lil turd."

"The others will probably play something safe and be a total bore while we'll steal all the applauses and bouquets."

"Huh."

"Now, memorize your parts first! I want it to be forever ingrained to your brains. I want it to be the tune you hum - or even scream - at the shower for the next decade."

"You want me to be the song,"

"Be the song."

So this is the reason behind the S.O.S. So Jessica could make sure she slaves over the piano while she does her own thing. The blonde slips out of the room to grab some cool drinks while Taeyeon's left to play till the skin wrapping her fingers grow thin from the crash and burns. 

It's been a week since she's made Jessica's makeshift accompany pianist. Having been anything but a professional music connosieur, the world of competitive classical music is another thing entirely. It unfolds along with newfound companionship with the prodigy - of skipping sessions and in-jokes alien language to anyone but them. On the downside, she has to cover the materials she skipped all night long and finds herself shutting her phone down so she could imprint Sunny's notes perfectly onto her brains. Looking at it in brighter shade, her high school life doesn't look as bleak, since no lava lamps could rival Jessica's radiance.

Her left hand works its magic as she tests the water. Her self-taught skill dims in comparison to Jessica's and while the violinist told her to just keep up with me, "just" isn't much of a "just" to Taeyeon. Sunday-lazing routines came to a full stop even though she aces in claiming the sofa for a four-hours cartoon marathon. Training. Catching up with the impossible.

At the end of the day, Jessica would send her encouraging messages complete with endearing emojis, and that is enough of a reason for Taeyeon to keep going down the path without pushing the restart button.

After all, her and Jessica clicking into some sort of companionship is the work of her time-travel mumbo jumbo too. Eyes curtained with jaundice due to staying up late learning romantic era scores, she tries to hit all the flats because Jessica expected her to.
 

Route D // October 10th, 2015.

"Playing in B-flat minor makes me emo and sleepy."

Jessica smacks her in the back with her makeshift weapon of torture - a rolled up gossip magazine. "Less talking, more playing! YOU always got that part wrong. Follow my self-made genius notes."

"Emancipation for accompanists..." with a mumble, she starts once more from the fifth bar while Jessica pulls a chair beside her.

Having Jessica's eyes on hers do her wonders. She's sweating profusely, her eyes blur, and her heart thuds against her ribcage, threatening to jump out. She takes a long breath, and she probably missed a note by now. The stretched elevation of her chest strains against her white shirt and its like the atmosphere itself forms into fingers, choking her at the neck, and she coughs out, all dry and sharp-edged against .

It's hella uncomfortable to have your crush watching you fail and fail again.

"Stop looking at me!"

"What."

"It's - I get nervous. You expected me to catch up with you, but we're just days away and I still couldn't pull my own weigh."

Jessica purses her lips, thoughtful. Instead of symphatizing, she's probably thinking up another torture method.

"Sica, you're... you grew up with music. My dad is a music critique, but he knows jack about Rachmaninoff and his other pissed-looking musician friends." She flails her hands, trying to look frustrated. "Remember Mozart's frills? Yeah, that world isn't for me."

"Hmmm. Should we stop and go somewhere to unwind?"

"I'm on it, cap'n."

And they sneakily get out of school, all giggles, through the emergency exit. Jessica owns a key and Taeyeon concludes that this girl probably has abysmal grades - good thing the path of musician is set for her. The first spot for their School-Skipping Tour is a bakery that makes heaven-sent red beans sherbets. Tastes aside, it's the way Jessica's face contorts in delight as she dips a spoonful into that makes the skipping worth it.

The next destination is an arcade. After losing half the inside of her wallet through rounds of air hockey with their pocket money as the stakes, they retreat to an overly pink stuffed toy crane game. Taeyeon's on fire when she notices the way Jessica is eyeing the fox doll lied on the very back.

She spends the first coin. "Say, Sica... how come we never practice together? I mean, we are supposed to play side-by-side."

"Oh."

Taeyeon lets out a dry chuckle. "Don't "oh" me..."

"Well. The relationship between a violinist and accompanist is kinda like marriage - minus all the baby , less restrictions, less love, more trust. Like soulmates. That's why it's best to pick out someone that clicks with you so much you'd think you and this person are matchmade by, uh, cupids and all that crap."

She pushes in her second coin. "Don't think I didn't notice your subtle way of changing the topic."

The Jessica reflected on the glass cage pulls out a diabetes-inducing pout. "So mean - aww, it fell!"

"Third coin, it is..."

"My previous partners left me. They couldn't keep up with me. They believed they wouldn't be able to." A pregnant pause. Taeyeon listens to Jessica sighing out regrets. "I don't want you to leave me, too. I can tell that you're different."

"Not really - "

"When you came into the music room that afternoon and played me the piano of Kreutzer? Yeah. I can feel it. Like - all this time I've been in a decade long winter. Trapped in some uncharted cave with nothing but firewoods. At the time, you were the sun."

Your sun wouldn't have to turn back time to get things right - your sun would've known the answer is a piano of Kreutzer right away. "Flustered."

"Me too. This is so cheesy and embarrassing. But I'm not lying, you worth more than all the winter selections of Prada in the world."

She rummages her pocket for the fourth coin... "I ran out. Crap."

"Let's get out of here before you go bankrupt for a stupid stuffed toy."

Jessica, one hand on the stuffed fox, hand linked with hers, "Thanks. This thing will haunt you when you left me like they did." In a murmur, she adds, "Don't give up on me."

Taeyeon steps into the clubroom with two canned drinks, shivering at the sudden burst of air conditioner. Jessica made her a shuttle-bread after she busted the third section for the fourteenth time.

Jessica eyes the melon-flavored soda she hands her. “Thanks.”

“Strawberry, my favorite. How come you always know what’s the what for me?”

Taeyeon only grins, sipping at her melon-flavored soda. “Gut feelings?”

“Are we made for each other?”

"Today is the day."

"Yup."

"It's monday and we're dressed in anything but our uniforms."

"The life of refugees."

Taeyeon is shaking like a leaf under her white shirt and knee-length black pencil skirt combo. Half because she's /sure/ they'll mess everything up onstage, half because Jessica looks so good in her red dress. They had to pretend they're going to school in the morning and quickly changed into their getup in the safety confine of the music room. The problem is: how to go the emergency exit looking like they belong in some kind of fancy tea party?

Taeyeon looks out of the window overlooking the parking lot for distractions sake. "Got any plans? It's starting in fifteen minutes... right? Traffic jams or not, we're screwed."

"I'm thinking. Five minutes and we got nothing, we'll just go Sparta and hope they won't throw us to the headmaster's. Yes or yes?"

"Okay."

Five minutes pass in agonizing silence. Taeyeon begins to tap her foot in hope to gain Jessica's attention, who's closing her eyes in hope of looking like a Buddha.

"Jessica - "

"Shush you, I'm thinking."

"Five minute's up!"

"Oh." Her eyes snap open and she springs to her feet. Before Taeyeon could react, she kicks away her heels and carries them, hooking them to her two longest fingers. "You go to school by bike, right? Pedal them while I stick to your back. Now, we Sparta through the corridors without turning back. Remember the mythology of Orpheus?"

She's never been a mythology encylopedia person. Jessica probably has so much spare time from the skipping, she has conquered half the collection in the library. She laugh sheepishly as she follows Jessica out the door.

"You're hopelessly illiterate to things that aren't comic books, aren't you."

"You got me."

The stairs is a little bit tricky because it's narrow and there aren't much space to duck should a teacher pass by, but she's too busy keeping up with Jessica, who's taking two at a time, to worry about that. "Orpheus had his wife taken away from him. She was sent to the underworld and he came all the way there to take her back home."

"Ah, tragedy. This is why I stick to slapsticks. At least they make deaths funny."

"He managed to soften Hades' gigantic prick with some Greek-ish rock 'n roll and he was allowed to bring back Eurydice - his wife - in one condition: he can't look back until they both reached the upper world. Since it was sold as probably the earliest form of tearjerking novella, he looked back when he reached the upper world to check whether they both made it because he was real anxious - turned out his wife was just steps away from the upper world. She vanished."

"That's... wrecked."

They somehow reached the bike parking lot without much casualty. "Yeah. The thing to note from the story is to never look back. Life can be a huge sometime, but there's always tomorrow."

The story strikes a little too close home for Taeyeon. In a way, it's a comedy, a satire, set to laugh at her miserable life that's filled with regrets and time-traveling bulls. Never gonna look back, my . "Yeah. Never look back. Live your life without a single regreg. Anyway, get on."

Jessica climbs to the backseat, but refuses to sit down "so she can feel the wind". Taeyeon complies and let her get whatever she wants. Nothing unusual. Moving on.

"How's it like up there?"

Jessica, nails digging into her shoulders she'll tear her muscles apart, answers, "Feeling high."

They plow through the streets of Seoul, drifting into alleys, outrunning a few cars, swerving out of a grandmother's way, splashing a puddle of rain water onto pedestrian (Taeyeon apologizes while Jessica snickers devilishly), and by miraculous twist of fate, arrives at the music hall without losing a limb. Taeyeon loses a couple years of her mortal life, though.

Jessica's the one taking care of the re-applications while Taeyeon collects her breaths.

"Ready?"

She takes Jessica's outstretched hand with her shaking fingers, shaken by nervousness and lies. "Always."
 

The stage is huge when you're the one in the center. Jessica takes the front while she seats herself at the back, setting the seat lower because the previous accompanist is a Babel-tall man with long legs. She only reaches his abdomen when they passed by each other in the backstage, and however intimidated, Jessica pinches her in the to keep her from floating to la-la-land. To keep her from looking back.

The lights on them, the judges leering at the mismatched duo of a "prodigy and some probably randomly plucked out accompanist", Jessica says without looking at her, "Play like you want to wring the life out of me. Don't stop even if you messed up big time. Chase after me and look for the nexts and tomorrows."

Taeyeon smiles even though she's drowning in her own cold sweats. "Got it, Eurydice."

Jessica starts first and she's supposed to join later. Tchaikovsky's rage-induced Slavonic March is something considered a left-field for the audience and Taeyeon can feel it, and Taeyeon wants nothing but to bring them to the edge of their seat as she marches alongside Jessica.

The song is written for the Serb-Turkish war, conducted by Rubinstein. The first section is airy minor keys inviting the audience to imagine a warring state, a bleached out battlefield, oppressions, seemingly lost hopes. The start has always been a walk in the park. It retraces back to the melodies of Serbs' folk songs for shout-out sake - Bright sun, you do not shine equally. A little google-surfing does you no hurt.

The second section comes in like a hurricane and Taeyeon's left to fend for herself. For whatever reason, her right hand isn't fast enough to switches octaves as Jessica speeds past the limit and wreck her inside out. It's supposed to be a clash between piano and violin - the king and queen of instruments - but to her it's a one-sided beating with Jessica straddling her to the ground. Rupturing every of her bones. Winning over.

It feels like the ground itself is opening up a black hole ready to swallow her whole. Game over. That’s what she get for trying to force herself into the empty spot that is Jessica’s other half. Some things are meant to stay unhinged.

And just like that, she stops. It’s just Jessica playing wildly, owning the song, turning into something unknown to Taeyeon. The disappointments from the judge and the audience wash over her face, highlighting all the crimes against time and space she has committed.

Would it be okay to press the restart button now?

Would it be okay to leave this Jessica in favor of the other Jessica in another universe where she wouldn’t fail her?

Would it be okay to abandon Jessica?

What would differ her from the others, then?

But Jessica has yet to stop, even though they’re probably off the competition already. Accompanists not being able to keep up with the violinist is just unheard of – much less in professional competitions.

But Jessica trusts her.

I don't want you to leave me, too.

Don’t give up on me.

Taeyeon jolts back into action, starting slow, unsure, hitting less and missing more keys. To keep up with Jessica. To keep up with the impossible. She chases after the sun.

Her own interpretation isn’t as hard as Jessica’s passionate , but if Jessica is the fire, then she would be the water, ice, whatever, and should Jessica be the sun – then she’s the moon. Their allotted time is running out and there’s nothing that could salvage their final points, but at the time, in the flurry of hitting notes as she trails after Jessica, one thing is certain – Jessica would never abandon her. She, in return, would never too.

They finishes the virtuoso coda strong and left heaving and panting like they actually wrung the life out of each other. A drizzle of applauses emerge, then a torrent, then somehow everyone’s clapping probably because some group of people into mad performances started clapping first.

“Come here,” Jessica whispers, low and buried under her breath, but they’re sort of one now, so Taeyeon hears it just fine.

She takes Jessica’s hand in hers and they bow for formalities sake. Bouquets are thrown. Perhaps that’s what the audience is looking for. A performance that breaks the normality. Jessica’s wild playing and her breakdown make a good dramatic teenlit. Basked in the lights, she whispers. “I like you, Jessica.”

“Me too.”

“No, no. Like, like.”

“I know. God. I know, Taeyeon. You stayed with me. We made it together. You, you didn’t walk out on me. I’m still on the high from our performance. Sorry if I sound so delirious.”

Jessica sounds giddy and she doesn’t mind giddy Jessica. “It’s okay.”

“Date me. Taengoo.”

“You. And Jessica. AN ITEM?!” Her bulging eyeballs connect intensely with Taeyeon’s shrinking figure. “I DON’T NEED TO HEAR YOUR WET DREAM!”

“You’re the one who asked why I’ve been gone these days. But, hey. of luck?”

Taeyeon’s sheepish laugh fails to quench Sooyoung’s conquest for blood. “This isn’t just a , you bish. YOU HIT JACKPOTS. You. You couldn’t even hit an inanimate object in a dodgeball match.”

In contrast, Sunny only stares at her warily, like the human identified as Kim Taeyeon might not be Kim Taeyeon after all.

The door to the class opens and once again, déjà vu flashes before her as the sea of her classmates make a pathway for Jessica Jung to her table. Sooyoung gasps in horror as wet dreams might come true after all.

“Taeyeon… club room with me.”

Jessica’s gaze dips far into somewhere uncharted for Taeyeon, and she usually leaves her girlfriend to her own device when she’s thinking. She’s been quiet and Taeyeon’s getting worried, so in the quiet of the club room, lying on the swept floor (Taeyeon did it, of course), above lots of crinkled sheet music, she rubs her thumb against Jessica’s hand in circular motion. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m not good at delivering news.”

“Good or bad?”

“Good, I think.” Jessica turns to her, lips breaking into a faint smile. “I’m a bit sleepy though. Sorry if I sound off.”

“Hmm. Just tell me when you want to tell me.”

“But you need to know…”

“Then tell me?”

Taeyeon inches closer and they spend the afternoon like this, listening to their hearts in andante, the murmurs of parchments under their wrinkled uniform in pianissimo, the unsaid I love yous spoken in grandioso. Her hand playing a folk song on Jessica’s relaxed arm, sometimes hitting a spot Jessica is ticklish. It usually ends with a playful tickling session that might also end with a kiss. Or more.

But Jessica won’t be into it as much when her head is up there on the clouds. “I’ve been thinking of applying for a music college after this. Abroad. Dad has recommendations.”

“Oh? That’s good to hear.”

“We’re going to be in a long-distance relationship, you know.”

“We’re going to last that long?”

Jessica pinches her side hard and she screams ungracefully. “We are. Anyway… dad said I’ll have to do the official registrations and such at 23^rd so I’ll depart tomorrow.”

“Where is it?”

“U.S”

“Wow. That’s… far.”

“Sorry. For telling in such a short notice.”

The news announcer, in her monotone, robotic voice says to Taeyeon, “Right now at 12.30, the previously missing flight KR-1877 has its wreckages found by the search team. The flight was meant to depart for the United States and was struck down by lightning. So far, no survivors has been found—“
 

Route F // 20^th October, 2015.

“Anyway… dad said I’ll have to do the official registrations and such at 23^rd so I’ll depart tomorr—“

“Don’t.”

Jessica’s startled at the way she grips Jessica’s shoulder in tight hold so unlike Taeyeon. She has always been the careful caresses and snuggles kind of person. When one’s pitted in desperation, things get one hundred-and-eighty.

“What are you…?”

“Don’t go. Don’t go there.” It resounds like a sad plea from a powerless person. Taeyeon’s too confused to do anything but this. “Don’t board the plane.” You’ll die, she wants to add, but she doesn’t really want to sound like a nutjob. Yet.

“I can’t just go poof, Tae. It’s not possible in our era.” She looks a tiny bit annoyed in the way she brushes off Taeyeon’s fingers that’s been caging her shoulder. “Dad already bought the ticket, anyway.”
 

It somehow escalates into fighting and screaming and throwing wooden chairs on Jessica’s part, driving Taeyeon to the farthest wall. Taeyeon only wants to save her. Saying that she knows what’s best for her isn’t exactly lying. She knows the future and, anachronically, Jessica already died twice.

But Jessica isn’t listening. “What’s with you? We’ve been cuddling like usual until you suddenly told me to not board a plane? How else am I supposed to get there? By feet?!”

“, Jessica. I wasn’t trying to imply going by feet, . That’s just stupid.”

“What the hell, Taeyeon. Don’t even try to school me. I probably have twice the brains you have right now.”

“You don’t understand.” Taeyeon slumps against the wall and slides down, and she laughs, or maybe sobs, she isn’t sure, but she feels smaller, much smaller. Back to the weakling Taeyeon that couldn’t do anything about everything. “You… won’t understand.”

Between them is an entanglement of toes, interlocking fingers, sobs muffled by Jessica's shoulder, and Jessica who is confused beyond belief. Taeyeon is shattering under pressure. Time has literally ditched her.

"Please... don't go..."

"I can't,"

Usually, Jessica exudes security. Taeyeon never regrets the decision of meeting and consequentially falling into Jessica. Not now, though. She sinks deeper into the slope between her neck and bony shoulder.
 

“Right now at 12.30, the previously missing flight KR-1877 has its wreckages found by the search team. The flight was meant to depart for the United States and was struck down by lightning. So far, no survivors has been found—“
 

Route F // October 18th, 2015.

They didn't skip today and she's supposed to hang out with Sunny or something, but as soon as the school ends, she dashes to Jessica's class (which is located in the other, newer building) in fervent frenzy. All the dashes and classmate-maneuvering and stairway parkours result in her quarreling with her digested lunch.

The girl she's looking for just stepped out of the class, which relieves Taeyeon. "Sica!"

"Tae? I thought you were going to hang with Sunny - "

Jessica stops when she sees her whimpering, eyes shot open, breaths uneven. Sweating bullets of cold sweats. She takes Jessica's hand in hers, trembling and she croaks out a, "Please don't go. Don't board the plane to U.S..."

"What - wait, I - I haven't told you. Also, I can't. But the thing is, I haven't... told you about it. Tae?"

The people around them begin to vulture into their conversation. Perhaps looking for a couple drama.

"Of course. Of course... you haven't told me. Not on this date..."

They won't understand the way Taeyeon goes breathless from hitting another dead end. They won't understand the resignation reflected in Taeyeon's gaze. They won't understand the way Taeyeon lets loose Jessica's hand, unwinding the tight seam in-between, and melts into restrained wails in the middle of the third-years corridor.

Jessica doesn't understand too, so she throws her arms around Taeyeon and holds her close, emergency-sewing her fragility after being torn apart for the umpteenth time.
 

“Right now at 12.30, the previously missing flight KR-1877 has its wreckages found by the search team. The flight was meant to depart for the United States and was struck down by lightning. So far, no survivors has been found—“
 

“Right now at 12.30, the previously missing flight KR-1877 has its wreckages found by the search team. The flight was meant to depart for the United States and was struck down by lightning. So far, no survivors has been found—“
 

“Right now at 12.30, the previously missing flight KR-1877 has its wreckages found by the search team. The flight was meant to depart for the United States and was struck down by lightning. So far, no survivors has been found—“
 

Route F // October 22nd, 2015.

Watching the news get easier after a while. Sometimes she'll do things different from before, wait till the news unfold, and cross her long list of trial-and-errors. Things That Might Save Jessica Jung and Also My Sanity. She penned the title in the middle of the class in her 32th October 20th.

The television set flickers against her as her eyes threaten to droop to sleep, but she needs to stay awake for survey sake. Or maybe she might get lucky and somehow, that damn lightning strike miss the aircraft. Twenty-nine minutes past midnight. She readies herself to turn back time.

She didn't skip with Jessica today. Instead, she reserves Sunny for the day.

Being best friends has its perks - Sunny is the closest thing she has to someone who understands her inside out. In the quiet corner of a coffee shop blocks away from school, Taeyeon's equipped with a notebook, a pen, and a web made of lies.

"I smell something funny. Spill it."

"I'm writing a story,"

"Piano, then writing? Are you trying out summer snowboarding next? Who are you trying to hump this time?"

"I'm not trying to get into anyone's pants," she bites her tongue and is quick to amend her words, "skirts. Anyway. Point is, I'm writing and I got stuck."

Sunny sips on her Americano, eyebrow quirking in interest. "I'm listening."

"So, let's say, the hero has a power to go back in time. She has her eyes on this girl, who's a beauty everyone sought after. To catch this girl's eye, she plays her a popular piano piece - "

"Did you base the love interest off Jessica?"

/You have no idea/. "Yeah. Turns out that's not what the girl is looking for. Realizing her mistake, the hero deeply regrets her choice - and that's when she discovers her time-traveling power. She uses it to rewind the time and plays the right song this time, earning points from the girl. From there onwards, she rewinds the time to play her cards right. One day, at a designated time, the girl dies in accident. The hero returns to the day before to stop her from going to the place of her death, but no matter what, she’ll keep on dying on the same place, same time.” Taeyeon inhales a sharp take of breath and it’ll go unnoticed by Sunny. “After turning the time for the umpteenth time, the hero pops the question, weary and lifeless but no less an idiot. What’s the reason, why would you want to go there that bad that you keep on refusing my warnings? The answer is a simple because your playing that day inspired me, hero. The hero loses it, and now she has no idea on what to do. What to do?”

Sunny’s reduced to silence when she’s thinking, pursed lips and eyes focused on a point. The coffee shop at this time of the day is a crinkling of noises, never ending drone of gossips, whipped cream ing it up with cappuccinos. Taeyeon notices all these to distract herself.

“You…” Sunny starts, eyes locked with hers. “So this is why you look like a statue. A zombie. A zombie statue. These days.”

“What?”

“This isn’t just a story. Tae, I’ve known you since we’re in diapers and you used to eat your rice with gummy worms – which is pretty ew just in thought – and I know you’re really bad at coming up with a story. Not that this is a good story per se. You aren’t going to win any competition with this badly-written, half-heartedly thought-out time-travel drama.”

Her leers only fuel Sunny to speak more. “Thanks for insulting my sad love life that involves real corpses.”

“So you time-travelled… no wonder. The time you won the English test bet? I thought something was fishy. This is a bigger fish than I expected.”

“And you believed me?”

“Yeah. I mean… it’s new, and weird, and, well, it’s just not possible, but whether this is a total lie or not, I got your back.”

“Friendship feels so nice.”

Taeyeon waits anxiously as Sunny pulls her notebook close to her and switches on the pen for her to peruse. She opens it to a random white page. “Since you are the problem, we’ll have to take you out of the picture.”

“Should I switch place with her?”

“How?”

She shrugs. “No idea, but I have all the time in the world.”

“You dying won’t change anything. Hell, it shouldn’t be possible for you to die. I think, no matter what, she’ll die at the exact time and place. The world wants her dead. It’s like – you won’t have Harry Potter the way it is if James and Lily aren’t dead.” Sunny scribbles on the paper and Taeyeon leans to the front just a little to see it. “Ever heard of the world line theory?”

“Not nerdy enough for that…”

“The universe is comprised of many, many lines.” Sunny pushes the notebook to the middle of the table. On it was drawn a long, hard-pressed thick line at the center of the page. “This is a world line. You can say that it is the default timeline set for the world. We’ll call it… Route A. The beginning. The fated. Do you still follow?”

“Sheesh.”

Sunny chuckles at her dry-humor. “Now, let’s say, somewhere in Route A, you’re presented two choices. It doesn’t have to be something important, maybe your mother ask you whether you want to pack lunch or not? One of them will lead to another, but Route A is just a linear timeline, it doesn’t allow two choices.” Sunny draws a branching line from Route A in the 2/5^th of its length, parallel to the Route A. “So, one of the choice will lead you to Route B, a line parallel to Route A.”

“Oh. Let’s say that the ‘I didn’t pack lunch’ choice is the one that leads to Route B.”

“Okay. Then we’ll just do this the roleplaying way. Since you didn’t pack lunch, you’ll have to go to the school cafeteria. Or you can just, starve, for the whole day out of laziness. Your choice. One of them will lead to one another. Say, you going to the cafeteria will result in Route C. Now, you get it right? Every choices have its own consequences. You might discover new world lines, or you might revisit, but all world lines are parallel to each other, which is why, maybe, in another universe, Jessica might not die, but in this route, she has to die.”

“Because… I met her.”

Silence. Taeyeon needs the time. It’s like she’s playing a game of Choose Your Own Adventure, only this time, someone’s life is at stake, and the bridges between pages are blurring, and the restart button is addictive in a sick way.

“You know what to do, Tae—“

“I have to undo all of my choices. I… have to return to Route A.”

A sip of coffee and Sunny shows her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Tae. If you really want to…”

Taeyeon feels the world crashing down at her, and she holds Sunny’s gaze with the numbness of someone who came back from the netherworld without the love of her life. She feels void of emotions – like every twelve-thirty where she watches the news unfold for the thousands of time already. She doesn’t speak for a long time, and when she does, she tears away her gaze from Sunny’s and it falls limp on the notebook, and something blurs her vision and something wells up in her eyes. The price to pay is everything she has ever worked upon – but at the end of it is what she longs the most. To see Jessica live. To see the you of twelve-thirty.

When was the last time she cried? October 22^nd. Two days from now. She lost her sense of time.

“So this is it.”

“Tae…”

She must’ve looked so ugly, all teary-eyed and snot-wiping with her long sleeve. “I – any chance you could remember this for the next iteration too?”

“You’re thinking of rewinding things again?”

“No, just in case I busted it.”

“If things are always the same… if you do exactly the same every single day all year long, won’t every day feel the same? Like, what constitutes memories, that way? You consider a notable event in your life a “memory to remember”, right? Like, your 200^th day with your partner. It only comes around once.”

Taeyeon fills in for her. “So, you want us to break the routine. So the other you will somehow remember.”

“Yeah.”

“Even if the universes parallel each other?”

“I think, those déjà vu people keep on having might play a part in remembering things from the other world lines. Just a thought.”

“Sounds cool. Soonkyu, you are the bomb.”

“I am the bomb.”

Taeyeon stands from her seat. “Should we burn this shop down?”

“The other me will probably unfriend you.”

“Fine. Something different.”

“Hmmm. Give me a sec – “

Before Sunny could hurl her notebook towards her, she leans forward and brushes her lips against Sunny’s flustered cheek, leaving the girl wide-eyed, red, now paling, now blue, now red in anger.

“Remember me, Soonkyu of Route F.”

Now, to Operation Save Jessica Jung and Return to Route A.
 

Route F // October 20^th, 2015.

She’s back in the clubroom with Jessica, both of them lying above crumpled sheets of music with uniform wrinkled beyond recognition, hiking up just a little to expose some stomach. To keep themselves from shivering under the cold autumn bites, they keep themselves close. Taeyeon rolls over even closer to Jessica, papers crushing under her weight, and now they’re pressed on each other. “Listen. I – we need to talk.”

“Are we breaking up?”

“No!” Taeyeon doesn’t want to shout in her face, so she tones it into a forceful whisper. “Okay, listen. You’re going to die in two days.”

“Huh – wha – what?”

“Serious. You’ll die. The plane you’re boarding, it’ll be struck down by lightning. I know. I came from the future. It’s going to be your 57^th death.”

Jessica pulls away from her, eyeing her incredulously, and she understands, because she definitely sounds like a nutjob right now. “Did you knock your head somewhere or you finally auctioned what’s left of your brains?”

“Bullcrap, I never lost even an ounce of my brains. They’re precious.”

“Oh. Never seen you actually use them.”

“Sica! This is a super serious matter, okay.”

“You told me you came from the future. Which part of this is serious.”

Taeyeon inches in closer, pressing themselves together once more. “Listen. This is going to take a bit long, and you’ll have to listen through all of it. Like, listen. Really listen. I’m deaf to requests of repeat.”

“What if I get bored?”

“Okay. I’ll explain things while you can do… something else as long as you’re listening.”

So, Taeyeon tells her a story of this miserable loser who kept on rewinding time to impress the girl she loved, and lost her love as a trade-off. She doesn’t know whether Jessica even listen thoroughly, or just bits of it, or brushes it off thinking she’s a real nutjob for speaking sci-fis, but it’s sort of okay because Jessica is caressing her neck, kissing her jaw and whispering nothings that she interprets as a train of I love yous. Once her explanation ends, it’s only logical for Jessica to quip,

“So… I really am going to die.”

“Yes.”

“Is there anything you can do about it?”

“I’ll have to undo everything.”

“You’ll undo our meeting too?”

“Yeah…”

“Taengoo… you won’t play me Kreutzer? Or you won’t come at all?”

“Probably the latter, for safe measure.”

Jessica snakes an arm around her waist, buries her nose on her collarbones that jut out stronger since she hasn’t been feeding herself decently since the 20^th round of rewinds. “I’ll miss having someone to order around. You make a good dog.”

“!”

And they laugh, but it doesn’t take long before the laugh decomposes into one forced out of sheer willpower to stay strong, and it doesn’t take even ten seconds for it to turn into sobs on Jessica’s part, and Taeyeon can feel the way Jessica’s wheezing for air and the way her chest rumbles in fear and grieves. Over what? Memories? But she won’t remember, anyway? At the end of the day, Taeyeon is the only one bearing the scars.

“I don’t want to die. I don’t want this to end, also.”

“Me too…”

“Taengoo… is this dead end?”

From the fact that it’s going to be her 57^th death, she should’ve known. “Yes…”

“I don’t want to forget about all these, too…”

Taeyeon can’t respond to that because she finds herself wrecked into sobs too, and they’re now holding each other, tear-stained papers as beddings. So, the only thing she could do is to help Jessica remember. They kiss, and they kiss again, and once more, because they might or might not have tomorrows, because time is against them, because the only thing they have is the now, October 20^th, basking in the reddish sky of 5 p.m.

And Jessica whispers into her lips, “Remember, I love you,” and she climbs above her and plants her fingers on the mess that is Taeyeon’s hair, “I’m in love with you, today, tomorrow, whenever. Every me loves every you.”

And Taeyeon, under her, head between Jessica’s rested elbows, lets her lips form into a grin ear to ear, lets what’s supposed to be a goodbye turns into a session of lip-locks and wandering hands. Taeyeon nearly forgets how to breathe when Jessica’s leg bumps against the inside of her thighs. When Jessica’s touches are scalding hot against her skin. They roll over, now side by side.

“Do you play the piano? You know lots about it.”

“I played, but it’s not for me.” Jessica answers, then busies herself kissing Taeyeon’s knuckles which she brought over.

Taeyeon retracts her hand back and pulls Jessica’s close to the spot where her heart is supposedly located. “I’m going to play you something. From the heartest of heart.”

Jessica snorts. “Heartest of heart. Also, sing. I like your voice.”

She sings, nursing a melody with voice hoarse, uneven, and she’s hitting all the wrong keys. Her fingers drum a pianissimo on Jessica’s knuckles, a mezzo piano on Jessica’s wrist, upping the game with crescendo all the way to her forearm, trailing her collarbone in allegretto, grazing along the contour of her neck in arioso, estinto, her fingers ghosting millimeters above Jessica’s jawline, a fortissimo to her chin. A sforzando to her lips.

I want you to remember.
 

Route E // October 12^th, 2015.

Jessica eyes the melon-flavored soda she hands her. “Thanks.”
 

Route D // October 10^th, 2015.

“Too bad we didn’t get the foxy.” Jessica sighs, almost comically, but there is something distant in her voice. Maybe, now that she failed to get her that damned stuffed toy, there’s nothing resolute about her I’m different, I won’t leave you answer. “Maybe next time.”
 

Route C // October 8^th, 2015.

“Tae, orange.”

Her 45 doesn’t stand a chance against the humanity. She sighs, gets off her table, and plans a food-poisoning scenario for Sooyoung.
 

Route B // October 6^th, 2015.

The second time she used her newfound ability was just to test the water. No hard feelings on losing a lottery. She’s used to lose this kind of thing, anyway.
 

Route A // October 4^th, 2015.

There was someone else who aimed to fill the empty spot that is Jessica’s accompanist. Taeyeon waits for this person as she leans against the wall just beside the door to the music room. Just steps away from the Jessica Jung inside, who probably hasn’t heard of the name Kim Taeyeon. Eyes downcast, a pair of legs enters her field of vision.

Kwon Yuri is well-known amongst the students. She’s cool, attractive, friendly, if not a bit four dimensional. She also has a venti-sized crush on Jessica Jung. She and Sooyoung are buddy-buddies and Sooyoung told her somewhere in August. August feels like eternities ago.

“Hey,” Yuri calls out to her, “you going inside?”

“Nope. The door is all yours.”

She grins. “Thanks. Wish me luck.”

“Play Kreutzer.”

Yuri turns to her, confused. “Huh?”

“Just play it. You can thank me later.”

Taeyeon turns her back to leave, and Yuri calls out another thanks and behind her there’s a sound of click that rings like finality. That seals the deal for Route A. Welcome to Route A, enjoy your stay in Route A.

Everything will be alright.
 

Route A // October 10^th, 2015.

Out of boredom, (is there even a way to make physics the slightest bit interesting?) Taeyeon pulls Sunny’s seat, who sits in front of her, a bit to the back. Her attempt at chatting results in Sunny letting out a surprised yelp that goes noticed by everyone except for their sixty-something year old teacher.

“Sunny, what if I told you I came from the future?”

Sunny goes quiet for some elongated seconds. Taeyeon studies the rise and fall of her chest. “I… I think I’m supposed to know.”

“Wait, what.”

“What what.”

“I was – I was just. Randomly chatting you up.”

“I don’t… know. I suddenly remembered. You told me, Tae.”

“Oh… right. I told you.”

---

Route A // October 12^th, 2015.

In one unfateful afternoon, she’s on the way to the toilet when she passes by Jessica Jung (who’s probably skipping like usual) by chance.

They meet in the eyes, but that’s it. Right now, like the clock hands at twelve-thirty, their backs turn against each other, going to different places. Like how they’re supposed to be in the first place.
 

Route A // October 22nd, 2015.

When she steps outside of the classroom with her backpack on and mind set to dinner and homework and TV programs, Jessica Jung is at the farthest back of her mind. So. Jessica standing in front of the classroom waiting for her startles the life out of her.

Gasps are heard (from her, from the people around her) when Jessica throws herself to her, wrapping her arms around her, and somehow they’re kind of hugging in the corridor. In front of vulture-like watching eyes.

Taeyeon’s quick to react and pulls back. Not good. Not good. What is today’s date? “I think you got the wrong person,”

“Taengoo, , it’s October 22nd and I’m ing alive, you little . I didn’t board the plane. I didn’t talk to you throughout those torturous week even though I remembered,” Jessica presses both their hands together against her chest, breathes in deeply, and unloads everything in the voice of a cheated woman, “I’m not going to buy your we have to pretend we do not know each other excuses because I – “

“Wait, what. What. You remembered. Then you would have known about your death and cross out the plan because you know and – “

“, Tae, you would panic and I panicked too because I woke up with the memory of it! So I stayed quiet. I should consider acting.”

The people gathering begin to walk away in confusion, dismissing them as role-playing or something – but it’s different for Taeyeon, as warmth seeps through her shirt and it makes every fiber of her being feels light and she inhales, and the final nail comes in the form of tears and she’s crying in the corridor of third-years, after school, and it feels familiar, like it already happened centuries ago.

Jessica holds her close, whispers her all the I love yous to make up for the lost ones, and Taeyeon hugs back in such force, out of need, feeling her nails scraping along Jessica’s back. Because all this time she still prays and begs for the god up there to let Jessica remember all the yesterdays and tomorrows. All the Jessica and Taeyeon. There’s a tomorrow for them. And a lot after.

Time is on Kim Taeyeon’s side.
 

Notes: [1] Longest one-shot I've ever written! Now to finish up WKGOM’s veeeey late update ^^;;;;;;;;;;

[2] in case you missed something, feel free to ask! I tried to make it the least confusing as possible, but the nature of time-travel fics might still confuse some people

[3] I’ll check back later for some errors but I have to study for exams :(

[4] got a twitter? Let’s chat over there I’m @honkersinthesea :DDD *shameless self-promotion* I tweet in English & Indonesia so if anyone’s single and ready to mingle (ewwww) just hit me up hay

[5] inspired by a lot of things, actually. Beast’s 12:30 (duh), FT Island’s Severely, f(x)’s 4 walls to note some. 

[6] Thanks for making it to the end! 8'DDDD