" Sometimes, the heart can be deceiving

If there is something Chanyeol wish to change, it will be his height.

He wishes he can be petite like his best friend or pretty like any other girls.

He wishes upon the stars- every night.

He inserts his wishes in his night prayers but nothing happens except for his height keep on increasing.

Insecurities- Chanyeol thought boys shouldn’t suppose to be insecure. The boys in his class didn’t seem like they are having issues with their appearance nor their height. Why have he to deal with this horrible feeling? 

Without notices, he bites his lower lips a tad harder than he should have been.

It had been a habit though that he bites his lower lips when he’s having a serious thought, scares, worries and habits die hard.

He stares back at his abandon history paper and the wide opened textbook. He is half way there to finish his essay when he caught a silhouette of his hyung walking toward his way but to be halted by this blonde girl from next class.

The captain of the cheerleader; who wouldn’t recognize that pretty blonde and slim y figure? Sure, Yifan wouldn’t want to miss that chances to have a proper talk without him by his side with that cheerleader captain.

Chanyeol was counting the minutes passes and was hoping that Yifan wouldn’t take that long time  but looks like, Yifan is enjoying the conservation from the way he keeps showing his gummy smile when the girl talks.

He gives up.

He takes his pencil back and hastily scribbles down the history facts on his paper, legs shaking for some apparent reason that only he knows.

Somehow, along the last line, Chanyeol couldn’t hold it anymore so he lets the tight grip of his pencil and slump his face onto the library table. He hates this moment where he couldn’t control his thoughts. They are just so horrible that Chanyeol wants to cry so bad.

“You didn’t show up,”

“Too crowded,”

Yifan didn’t push the other male anymore for further explanation. He knows it will be just a fruitless action to negotiate the younger to explain why he didn’t show up to his last night tournament when he promised.

“Hungry?”

Chanyeol shakes his head.

“So what are we going to do?”

“Why are you wasting your time to hang out with me, hyung?”

Taken back by the sudden outburst, Yifan keeps his mouth seals. He doesn't know where did Chanyeol get the idea of him hanging out with his own best friend is consider wasted time. He tilts his head to the side as he squints his eyes to block the sun.

“I never say that, Canlie,”

“I just know, okay,”

Yifan hums, nodding his head when Chanyeol accuses him again. It surely wasn’t the first time and he already get used to it. There will be a time where Chanyeol was having his stupid thoughts again and Yifan had to endure everything so he can reassure the younger.

He tries to work on his brain to remember back what did he do to make the younger had the wrong thoughts about him and there were nothing except for-

“Did you saw me with Yoona talking during recess?”

Chanyeol didn’t respond to his question and Yifan knows the source of the problem already.

Yifan shakes his head. “You really are impossible, Canlie,” he grins, hands quickly to mess the soft bundle of the younger brown hair.

“I love talking to you way more that everything and that includes every pretty girl out there, okay.”

Chanyeol puts his graduation caps down- along with the flowers that he got from Joonmyeon courtesy of Baekhyun.

They are taking pictures now since this is the last day of school and Baekhyun already disappears amidst the crowded people.

Looking over toward his wrist watch, the suppose to be the person who he was waiting right now is late- awfully late like he misses Chanyeol turn to went up the stage and his speeches.

It was brief- his speeches- when he couldn’t find the face anywhere amidst the thousands of faces in front of him. His mind turned clouded and there was nothing he could mutter except for his gratitude for the teachers before walking down the stages.

He was not popular among his friends nor even could be counted to be a friendly one either because Chanyeol was an introvert person; the only person that he opened up to was only Baekhyun and Yifan or maybe Joonmyeon because that boy was Baekhyun’s boyfriend and he feel so lost without those three. Since Yifan was four years older than him, he graduated first so that leave Baekhyun but Baekhyun is everyone favorite and Chanyeol couldn’t have him for himself alone too.

He could walk home.

Nobody is waiting for him to take pictures anyway and Chanyeol doesn't mind if nobody sign his yearbook. It doesn’t matter- people will leave sooner or later.

He turns his head for the last time- to catch the last glimpse of the last scenery of his high school- and begin to take his steps to walk home.

The walk home was quite, not that he bothered but he wished Baekhyun would call him up, screaming or yelling over the line because he was worry about him.

“You-“

“She agreed to be my girlfriend, Canlie,”

Chanyeol has to choke down his disappointment when Yifan break the news as soon he opened the door. He was thinking on stopping by at Yifan’s house to check the older if he was busy but look like he was indeed busy- with some other things. Yifan happily steps beside, waiting for the younger to come in.

“Quick,” he rushes, tugging the ribbon of Chanyeol’s hoodie.

Chanyeol doesn't know what he suppose to act this time. Nobody tells him that it will be hard to smile when his heart was hurting. He is not sure whether it will be rude or not if he didn’t smile. Should he say congratulation or just stay quite because Yifan knows how his mind works mostly? He doesn't want to appear rude or nasty in front of his hyung. He wants to be happy so he can listen to Yifan journey but how come this heart of his is hurting so bad? His minds didn’t works like he wants it to be because the next thing he remembers was Yifan reminding him about his shoes.

Oh, he forgot to take off his shoes.

“You seem off today,”

He carefully puts his old blue sneakers beside the other black one and slowly, taking his steps, following behind.

Well, yes because you forgot my graduation day today, “My head hurt, that’s all,”

Yifan turns behind, frowns line appears on his forehead, “Medicine?”

“The nurse at school already gave it to me so I should be fine later. Don’t worry, hyung,”

“Right,” Yifan nods.

He leads the both of them upstairs, straight to his room.

“I didn’t expect that she would accept me because-,” and the rest of Yifan words become blurs in his head.

He stares into the beautiful dark orbs right as the sun from the window pane hits them and watch them melt into the deep dark black sky. Can Yifan see the world that fills with love like how he does when he stares into his? Chanyeol always thinks that Yifan reminds him a lot of wonderful things in life. He wants Yifan to be his inspiration for every piece of his artwork- page per page that had been delicately handling by his hands so the outcome will be perfect- so the world could see how beautiful a person can be.

 Chanyeol brushes his arms on accident against Yifan's; feeling chills running down his every part of his body like an electrified as Yifan didn't feel anything.

Not even a spark.

Yifan laughs and Chanyeol swears, he could listen to the most precious piece of melody that a man could ever write but did Yifan hear the same?

Chanyeol smiles, at least that all that he can do for his hyung to let him know that he’s happy for whatever choices he make.

Maybe his disappointment can wait if he can listen to Yifan all day.

Chanyeol leans against the hospital headboard, staring ahead at the empty ceiling where a fan swirls around in a medium speed.

The soft noise that the ceiling fan makes soothe him down, at least for now.

There are few unexplainable feelings that he tries to figure out - whether he was ready to find out the truth or not-  he’s not sure. Not after he meets his called husband and his best friend. It feels so hollow in there like something was missing.

He plays with his wedding band.

Why does it feel like dread to be alive again?

What happen before the accident?

The doctor told him that he had a post-traumatic amnesia so he’s unable to recall the past memories in his current conditions but how he suppose to seek the truth if he doesn't remember anything except for the little piece memories of Baekhyun when they were younger? Does it mean anything?

“Do I deserve a second chance, Ni?”

The woman shrugs. She gently pats her bangs, smiling warmly at the man when the man looks at her- looking for an answer.

“Everyone deserve one,”

{+}

I’m sorry if I didn’t reply to the comments. It going to take me whilst  to load the page and I’m getting annoyed at my slow connection.

So chapter three updates! Basically, this chapter was full with little flashbacks. This is a tough work since I’m not good at words and I really having issues with my own writing but I’m glad that you guys could find a time to enjoy this piece of work. I wish I could write like all those great writers and I’m trying to improve my skills. Cheer for me, okay!

So tell me what you think about the chapters so far?

Should Chanyeol give his Yifan hyung another second chances? I was thinking on making Chanyeol remembers everything at this one point including Sehun so he got very upset with Yifan and leave him- but should I?