• “you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au
• “i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy you’re even cuter up close)” au
  • “you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au
• “i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh ” au
• “you fell asleep on my shoulder on the plane ride and i would ask you to move but you look so comfy and adorable when you sleep. also you smell really good and the feeling of your breath on my skin is somewhat relaxing, maybe we can go out to lunch in this ty airport when you wake up?” au
• “you’re so perfect and i’m in love with you but i’ve never actually met you and you keep avoiding meeting up, so i called nev and max to help me figure out whether or not you’re catfishing me” au
  • “whoa it turns out you were actually just super shy and you’re even cuter in person pls kiss me in front of all these cameras” au to followup with that
• “i’m a quiktrip worker and whenever I work a night shift, you always arrive and buy like 3 cans of redbull and you look exhausted, do you need some help? are you okay?” au
• “you invited me to your brother’s/sister’s wedding as a plus one bc we’re hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we’re ing so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?” au
• “my sister tried to set me up with her friend but little does she know that i am hella gay and i end up falling in love with her smoking hot brother, and whenever i hang at her place we always tell my sister that it’s for a date when really she’s now just trying to set me up with her brother” au
  • (this can be tweaked in any way to fit your otp :p)
• “i’m one of those talk show stars that walks up to random people on the streets and asks them really obscure questions, and you’re really cute and camera shy and i’m sorry but it’s adorable how you stutter when you’re nervous, uh, perhaps when there aren’t so many cameras surrounding me i can buy you a drink?” au
  • “you just came up to me on the street and asked where the weirdest place i had was and i’m assuming it’s for one of those talk show things, but i’m really nervous because you’re really really hot in that suit holy ” au
• “will you stop flirting with me you just got seriously injured and i’m the EMT trying to tend to your wounds in the ambulance, i don’t give a that i look cute when i’m concerned, you’re lucky you’re not dead you dip” au
• “my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn’t know we’re dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i’m so sorry” au
• “you have fire powers and i have ice powers and one day you save my and even though we’re supposed to be rivals, you’re actually really really cute and warm can i just stay in your arms forever bc i am perpetually cold” au
  • “you have ice powers and i have fire powers and i save your sorry from getting hurt/killed, okay i know we’re supposed to be rivals according to every legend ever but you’re adorable and wow you’re really cold, would you like me to warm you up?” au
• “i’m so sorry i’ve been stowing away on your ship but i’m lonely and tired and starving with nowhere to go so please take pity on my poor soul bc you’re the sweetest pirate i have ever met and since we’re in the middle of the ocean now there’s no way you’re taking me back to land anytime soon” au
  • “i would be furious at you for stowing away on my ship if it weren’t for the fact that you look really sick and sad can i help you” au
• “dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me” au
• “I’m an elf with really bad aim so while hunting i accidentally shot you in the shoulder with an arrow i’m so sorry can i make it up to you in any way? oh you’re a wizard, please don’t turn me into a frog i’ll do anything you want me to” au
• “we’re coworkers and all the other employees ship us so just for fun we all go out clubbing/to a bar but little do we know its actually a plot they set up to get us to realize our supposed love for each other. wait you’re actually a really good dancer and your laugh is so endearing and, holy , maybe our colleagues were right” au
• “i catch you at the bus terminal shivering your off because it’s 30 degrees and for some godforsaken reason you’re wearing a short sleeve t shirt, so out of pity i lend you my hoodie and you look so surprised it’s the cutest thing i’ve ever seen, setting aside the fact that you’re a goddamn idiot, do you want to get sick?” au
  • (cont.) “you look so sad and cold that i just tell you to keep my hoodie b/c you obviously need it more than i do. a week later i see you at a coffee shop/book store/etc. and you’re wearing my hoodie which you look so ing tiny and cute in, and you just saw me and you look super embarrassed; you offer me it back but i tell you it suits you more and we end up talking and i buy you a drink” au
• “we’re partners in cupcake wars and i never realized how cute you look with frosting on your face until now but no distractions, we have to ing pummel these other teams because we are the best goddamn cupcake company in the universe WE CAN DO THIS” au
• “i’m swimming laps in a lake alone at night and i thought no one else was here but i just swam right into you and uh?? you’re not wearing a shirt and you’re hot as hell pl ease take me right here” au
• “i took you to my family’s lakehouse and we went jetskiing which you were so adorably excited about b/c you’ve never been, and when we drove around on the water at ungodly speeds u held onto me b/c there was nothing else to hold onto” au
• “my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au
• “i accidentally called the wrong skype number and it turns out the person i called was you and you’re in a different time zone, so it’s 3am where you are and you just woke up and look ing pissedbut you’re cute so… let’s do this again when you’re not asleep. i’m more than willing to stay up into the dead of night to talk to you” au
• “i’m a radio host who indirectly mentions you and flirts with you on my show but you’re so goddamn clueless, please just notice me i’m so desperate for you it’s kind of sad (see: welcome to night vale)” au

credits to marstheradplanet