SLAM

Junhoe can’t take it anymore. He stand in the middle of the apartment trying to catch his breathe. Breathe in breathe out. But the previous event kept on replaying in his mind. His knuckles began to turn white.

“Don’t you know, it’s rude to slam the door at people’s face?”

A soft voice said and closed the door softly this time. Junhoe turned around. Angry pair of eyes met with confused ones. It made Junhoe wavered a bit. He opened his mouth to apologise but was interupted.

“Hanbin will be mad if you broke the door,” Jinhwan joked. A smile adorned his face. The mention of Hanbin’s name made Junhoe anger arise again. He ignored Jinhwan and began to walk to his room. Jinhwan who saw this, frowned. His mind wondered what made the younger in a bad mood after they have filmed the mv for Anthem. The younger had been purposely ignoring him and avoided him. It made Jinhwan’s heart torn to see Junhoe not giving any attention to him.

“Why are you being like this?” Jinhwan’s voice started to rise. He was extremely frustrated with Junhoe’s mood swings. They were fine in the morning but after the set, Junhoe avoided him like some kind of disease. He felt hurt when Junhoe doesn’t share any of his worries with him. Aren’t lovers suppose to share things with each other?

There were only two of them in the apartment. B.I and Bobby are still in the set. Whereas Yunhyeong, Donghyuk and Chanwoo went out with the manager to eat. Once again Junhoe faced Jinhwan. Instead of pair of angry eyes, he was met with deadly cold ones. This made Jinhwan surprised since this is the first time he seen Junhoe looking so cold. So distant. It made Jinhwan scared.

“Do you love me hyung?”

“W-what?”

“Do you even love me? Its always Hanbin this, Hanbin that. Today, you even said that you’ll stay with him forever. That was the last straw hyung. Why can’t you for once focus on me, on us. I’m sick of this. You treating me like a kid and made me seem desperate to be around you.”

Junhoe ranted. All the feelings that he bottled inside of him had been released. He didn’t let Jinhwan talk as he continue on, “ Now you’ll think I’m a jealous brat who wants attention. Guess what, I am one. With you giving all the attention to Hanbin hyung and left me alone. Sometimes I wonder why are we even in a relationship if I’m the only who is making the effort.” By now tears sre streaming down his face as he laughed apathetically. Junhoe is not the type to cry easily but he had reached his limit. Now that his feeling are all out. He feels good.

Jinhwan froze processing all the information. He feels guilty. He didn’t know that he was being unfair to Junhoe. Its not his fault that he is the oldest and has the responsibility to care of s. Maybe he went overboard with Hanbin since Hanbin tends to focus more on his work than himself. But now its Bobby job so he didn’t need to worry about Hanbin anymore. Jinhwan can’t help but to regret not giving his attention, now that Junhoe is crying in front of him. He was about to reach out for him when Junhoe said words that breaks both of there hearts.

“Lets break up hyun.”

Time seems to freeze. Jinhwan recovered in a matter of seconds. He quickly tugged Junhoe shirt begging for him to listen to his explanation. But Junhoe was having none of it and brushed him off. Junhoe made his way to his room leaving Jinhwan alone in the living room. Jinhwan’s cries echoed through the apartment but he didn’t care. Even if his heart and mind told him to turn around. He went into his room and leaned against his door. He cries silently saying sorry over and over again. Meanwhile Jinhwan was left alone. When his cries reduced, he stand up and when into his shared room with Donghyuk. Giving last glance to Junhoe’s room.

That night, both of them slept with their hearts still yearn for each other.