It’s dark here. When I opened my eyes a while ago, I cant see anything. But there was lightning outside. Ah, it’s raining. I’m at my room, and woke up on my bed. But, I cant remember anything before I went to sleep.  I’m walking to the window. It’s cold. Suddenly, i think about my boyfriend. What is he doing right now? Where is my boyfriend at right now? It’s raining hard here. Don’t catch a cold, baby.

But, I can feel something bother me when I think about my boyfriend. What happen to him? I walk outside my room to find my umbrella and going outside to find my boyfriend. It’s raining really hard, there’s lightning too, but I don’t care. I have to find my boyfriend right now. I feel uneasy.

Arrived at his house, but I can see his house door open. Where is he? Why he let the door wide open? No one here. What happened? But his televison turn on, but no one is here.

I just walking to nowhere. Just let my foot take me to anywhere. Not too far from my boyfriend’s house, there’s a lot of people gather. Sorrounding a car crash on the road.

“I heard there was one person died immediately…”

Someone around me said that. I move to the back slowly, think about that people have said earlier. No. it’s not him. no…

I run as fast as I can. Run as far as I can. I let my umbrella fall from my hand. Tears falling on my cheek. No, it’s not him…

I lost my breath, and lying on the ground to catch my breath. Inhale exhale. My mind turn out messy as I think about the car crash. It’s still raining here. I move my body and sit, hugging my leg. Sobbing. I close my eyes, pray to God that he is okay right now. I’m in a corner of the road, near the cemetery.

I can hear someone crying. I try to find who’s crying. Turn my head to the right to the left. There’s someone crying  around here. I approach that person. As I walk approach that person I can recognise who’s voice is this.

“Kim Jiwon?????” I fall into the ground feel relief that he’s fine. Nothing happen with him. thank you, God, for listened to my pray. But why he is crying like that?

I walk to face Jiwon. But he’s hug --

 “Jisoo-ya…” he called my name!

“yes, Jiwon…I’m here. What  happened? Why you cry so hard like this? stop…”

“Jisoo-ya…I’m so sorry…”

“sorry for what, Jiwon-ah? I’m okay…”

“sorry…I’m so sorry…I can’t protect you…”

“what are you talking about, Jiwon-ah? Stop crying. I love you…”

“I was with my friend all the time. I’m out all night…”

“it’s, okay. I do understand…”

“I knew you were call me all the time, I flip my phone and I don’t answer it…I don’t even try to call you back…”

“I’m fine…”

“you were waiting me outside my house all night. Like a fool. Why you trying really hard, huh?!”

“Jiwon…”

I can see his tears falling over and over again. Like he can’t stop it. Why he like this? what happened? Jiwon, I don’t understand. What are you trying to say to me?

“Jiwon-ah…look at me…”

“look at you, Jisoo-ya… why you make things hard?”

“me? No, I’m not…”

“look, I’m crying right now. Because of you…”

“Baby, what happened with you? Don’t cry…”

He wipe his tears, trying to look fine. I walk to his back. I want to hug him, but he start to lying on the ground. He close his eyes.

“look, Jisoo-ya…I’ll accompany you. I will protect you. I never ever broke my promise again. I’m not going anywhere. I will always answer your phone…”

Jiwon start to cry really hard. Tears falling hard from his eyes. I cant see Jiwon like this. I never see Jiwon’s cry like this.

“but it’s too late , Jisoo-ya…”

“no, you’re not...”

Jiwon sit back again, and he’s not facing me. I just can see his back.

“look, you’re so beautiful. How can I waste a really beautiful girl like you? And end up like this?”

“end?! our relationship? No, this isn’t the end…”

“I’m so sorry, Jisoo-ya…”

“what are you talk—“ I run to face him, but what I see in front of him… “who’s that, Jiwon-ah?!”

“Jisoo-ya…I really love your hair’s scents…” he’s caring someone in front of him.

“Kim Jiwon! That’s not me! I’m freaking me! I’m Kim Jisoo! I sit next to you!”

“I’m so sorry… you always waited for me, at the same place as always but I was gone. But, now. I will always wait for you here, but you were gone…”

“Kim Jiwon-ssi!”

“I’m so sorry… I was with my friends watching television when you came to my house. But, I ask you to go. We were fight, a really big fight. I were yell at you. You slapped me. I got mad, and push you until you fell in to the ground. You started to cry and ran away. I was about enter my house again but I heard…” he’s sobbing. He lost his breath. Trying to catch his breath. He wipe his tears.

“heard what, Jiwon-ah?”

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

“I heard car crash…when I saw it, you were hit by the car…”

I cant believe it. I cant believe this boy. He was cry so hard again. Sobbing.

“I ran as fast as I can to helped you. I carried you by my hand to the hospital, but doctor said you were gone already. No! I carried you to another hospital, but they said the same things. I cant save you…”

I cant say a single word. Tears start to falling on my cheek.i cant believe him. I try to encourage myself to see who’s that human in front of him. I walk slowly, and close my eyes. If this is true, it’s a painful reality. I open my eyes slowly, dare to see that human’s face. I’m discovering the body from the feet until the face. I cant even stand on my own feet, when I see that human’s face. I start to cry. I scream as loud as I can, to make Jiwon realize that I’m still here. But, he cant hear me.

That human is me. And who am i? Why am I still here? Who is Kim Jisoo…who?

“I love you, Kim Jisoo…”

I cry over and over again, when I heard Jiwon said that words. So this whole time, he cant hear me? I talk myself? It’s hurts, Jiwon-ah. Save me…

Jiwon’s hugging my dead body. Jiwon-ah, I’m here…

You always waited for me
At the same place as always but
I was gone I was gone

Don’t trust me like a fool
I said I’d protect your forever
but it was all a lie, lie

For some reason, today the TV dramas I always watched
have such cliche scenes that seem to be laughing at me
As if I’m a sinner I just run away
And yet again, you yell at me to go away

You always knew that
I’m a selfish kind of guy
I guess I felt burdened
By you when you were just asking for the slightest of attention
Without even leaving a single photo
like everyone else takes
Until the very last moment
We only think of me

Sorry sorry
I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I hope you’ll be well
Sorry sorry I hope you forget me as well

Although it hurts
That promise we made to be together forever
No longer exists
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it

I’m always at different places
Every night with my friends
I’m out all night

My phone’s flipped over but on it is
Your one last
Missed call

For some reason, today the radio’s playing
The songs we enjoyed together
As if I‘m a sinner I just run away
And yet again, you yell at me to go away

And I hope I’m just one of the many people in your life
That comes and goes
I hope that as the tears and cherry blossoms fall
There will be new life sprouting from them and
I hope our memories are short and beautiful
Just like the sunset, and I hope
All of these things are able to
Push at your slender back with good nature
Even though you still haven’t been able to take your feet off the ground

Sorry sorry
I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I hope you’ll be well
Sorry sorry I hope you forget me as well

Although it hurts
That promise we made to be together forever
No longer exists
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it

I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you
I’m sorry that I’m not enough

That until the very end I only show you such a small part of me yeah
Please for give me, For not being able to fill you up

I hope you meet someone
That’s better than me, kinder than me

Sorry sorry
I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you, I hope you’ll be well
Sorry sorry I hope you forget me as well

Although it hurts
That promise we made to be together forever
No longer exists
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it

---

dont forget to read my untitled story. thank you so much!^^

p.s.

bad grammar im so sorry :( hope you enjoy it. feel free to comment ^^

if you Indonesian or you can understand Bahasa and a YG stan, maybe you can visit my fanfiction blog http://hellofanfiction.blogspot.com thank you so much ^^