“Sehun-ah!” I giggled, excitedly tugging on my brother’s arm to call for his attention. I’ve found a ball to play with and wanted him to join me. He turned towards me with a smile, a questionable look in his eyes. We were the same age, around 6 years now, but I’ve always felt like he was older than me. Mum and Dad seemed to think so, too. They always asked him to look after me when we would play outside. I didn’t mind. I loved my brother. He was the only one who ever truly understood what I felt. It was amazing, really, because he often knew the ‘why’ as well – better even than I did. We understood each other way more easily than any other person we’ve met.

      “What is it, Jongin?” he asked, his eyes already moving to the object I was holding in my hand. I grinned widely, proud of the ball I’ve found. Then I jumped back and threw the ball into Sehun’s direction.

      “Catch!”

      Sehun’s eyes widened, his arms quickly moving into the direction of the flying object. He tried his best to catch my ball, but his short arms weren’t quick enough; the ball hit his fingers, but it only changed direction a bit. There was a small momentum in which we could only look at each other in shock. Then both flinched when the sound of glass clattering onto the ground echoed through the whole house.

      “SEHUN! JONGIN!” The woman’s voice yelled through the house. Oh, dear. Mum’s angry. I stared at Sehun, silently questioning what we’d do. He stared back. We heard Mum’s footsteps descending from the stairs. Then Sehun suddenly grabbed my hand and together we fled. Adrenaline rushed through my veins as we darted outside into the backyard. Our bare feet ran over the grass and I knew Mum would be displeased with that too, but right then it seemed the most preferable option. I looked back, still running, just to see Mum glaring at us from inside of the house. Then Sehun pulled me inside the garden house and shut the door behind us. It was dark, and we were both panting from the exercise. We sat down, for a few moments only trying to catch our breaths. Then, at practically the same time, we burst out laughing, not caring for our mother’s reaction any longer.

      “Do you still want to play a game?” Sehun asked, and I enthusiastically nodded. We hid at the garden house for the remaining day, wrestling and talking and playing some card game that we found.

*~*~*~*~*~*

      Tears were slowly tracing a line on my cheek, down to my chin, then dripping onto my lap, and sometimes onto the sheets of my bed. I was sniffling softly, not uttering any sounds as I stared at the broken piece of wood in my hands. It was Sehun’s birthday gift. In a few days, we would turn ten years old, and I had tried to carve a wolf from a piece of wood. To do that, I’d stolen a kitchen knife from Mum and roamed the forest for a fitting piece of wood. Afterwards I had to listen to a rebuke from Mum and be grounded for days, but it was worth it. I’ve found the perfect piece of wood, sleek and dark. Or so I thought. I turned the ‘wolf’ in my hands, seeing the damage that I had accidentally caused. It had only three legs now, and even the parts that weren’t damaged, I really didn’t like. But there wasn’t much time anymore to think of another gift and so I cried, desperate for a solution to my misery. I tried to tell myself I was a big boy now, that I was too old to cry over such a thing now, but I really had tried my best on it.

      My breath caught when I heard someone walking up the stairs. Sehun. I recognized his steps. Hastily I hid the hateful piece of wood under my blanket and wiped my face clean. Then the door opened.

      “Jongin-ah? Mum said you were up here for a while, and was worri- Jongin!”

      At the sight of him, the feeling of betrayal and failing worsened so much, that it was possible to keep my voice steady or my eyes dry. Sehun would’ve known anyway, I knew, and now he was quickly closing the space between us and sitting beside me on the bed. Luckily for me, not on the gift. I looked down, not wanting to meet his gaze when he sat so close to me.

      “I’m s-sorry,” I sniffed, tears starting to form in my eyes again. I tried to force them back, my knuckles turning white from my tight hold onto the sheets. Sehun wrapped his arms around me and I leaned against his shoulder, breathing in his familiar and comforting scent. I calmed down, my body relaxing a bit. Sehun’s presence always did that. As if I wasn’t completed when not together with him.

      “What are you sorry about?” He spoke and I bit my lip, hesitating to reply. Silence fell, Sehun patiently waiting for my answer, that didn’t come.

      “Hey, talk to me. You know I’ll find out anyway, so just say it now. Is it about me?” I shook my head, but uttered a choked chuckle. It was true. He would find out sooner or later. We had no secrets for each other, so it only made sense that I’d tell him. I still hesitated, shamed by my failure, but in the end I softly nodded.

      “I… Tried to make you a birthday present. But I ruined it,” I finally spoke, my voice hoarse from the unshed tears. I felt his arms tighten around me, but other than that it was silent, and I almost began to cry harder again. Was he really mad at me? Was he as disappointed as I was? But then Sehun suddenly laughed, and I looked up at him, completely surprised and flabbergasted.

      “Oh, Jongin,” he smiled at me, leaning in and pressing his forehead against mine. I looked into his eyes, dark but so exceptionally clear. So easy to read. There wasn’t the slightest hint of anger or disappointment in them, and I was relieved.

      “The fact that you tried to make me something already is so great, no matter what the end result is. Beside…” Now it was his turn to hesitate and he pulled away a bit, shying his gaze away from me.

      “I… Haven’t got something for you yet, either.”

      For a moment I was insulted. I had tried so hard, for him alone! But then I realized how stupid that reasoning was and my salty lips finally tugged up into a smile. In the end I wrapped my arms around him as well and a laugh escaped my throat. I hugged him close, the wolf lying forgotten on my bed, and we stayed like that until Mum called us down for dinner.

*~*~*~*~*~*

      “Tomorrow’s the big day!” Mum exclaimed at dinner. It was the end of our summer vacation, and she had tried to celebrate it by preparing one of our favorite dishes. Both Sehun and I groaned something inaudible at her comment. As if we weren’t aware that tomorrow we would enter our first year of high school. As if it was really necessary to remind us of it almost every hour of the day. We’ve already had months of preparation behind us. Ordering textbooks, choosing a backpack, getting pens and notebooks and endless talks about how great all of it was. I shook my head and ate silently. From the corner of my eyes I saw Sehun picking his food, barely eating, and for a moment I frowned and wondered what was up. Then I shrugged it off, making a mental note to ask him about it later.

      “Well, don’t you two look excited,” Mum muttered and I smiled apologizing at her.

      “Maybe they’re just incredibly nervous. I remember my time when I was about to enter high school. I really, really-“ Dad started talking, but soon his voice faded again when he countered the death stares of both Sehun and I. Mum laughed, a sweet sound that never failed to make others laugh as well. Neither did it this time. We laughed together, and the rest of the dinner we spent chatting about everything else than the upcoming semester of school. I didn’t look forward to it. I never liked to be thrown into a group of strangers. Added to that, we’ve gotten letters from our school, saying to which class we were appointed. To my dismay, Sehun and I wouldn’t be in the same class this year. How was I going to survive all those hours apart from my brother? After dinner Sehun went upstairs while I helped with the dishes. It was my turn today, after all. Mum would cook, dad would clean the table and put away the remains, and either I or Sehun had to do the dishes. Sometimes we did it together, but Sehun had been more quiet today than usual, so I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t join me today. I finished as fast as I could to enjoy my last free evening of the rest of the year, if the rumors I’d heard were true. I bid a good night to Mum and Dad and went upstairs as well, finding Sehun in his bed, watching the television screen. I fell back onto the bed next to him.

      “Sehun-ah?”

      “Hm?”

      I shuffled a bit to get more comfortable on the bed, watching the screen to see what movie was on. Some war movie, it seemed. Nothing too interesting in my opinion.

      “Are you nervous for tomorrow?” I asked, choosing to look at Sehun rather than the military movie. He shrugged, but I saw him thinking over the question.

      “I… Guess. Yes, I’m nervous, but for what I can’t say,” He replied honestly. I curled up on the bed, kicking off my shoes and putting the blanket over me for extra warmth.

      “You’ll tell me when you do know, right?” I asked and saw him nod, turning towards me with a fond smile.

      “Always.”