[CONTENTID1] CHAPTER | 01 [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

March 15, 2010

Today again, it’s raining intensely on those who walk around town with downcast eyes. It makes me feel somewhat frightened that somewhere in the crowd of miserable souls, you are there. When I think back, you were always that way weren’t you? You always sat at the very back of the classroom and never talked much with anyone. It’s insane to think that’s what first caught my attention--the dark expression you often wore. There had always been a menacing yet mysterious aura around you. I’ve never realized how much I gazed at you due to that reason. My eyes would follow your very presence whenever I felt you were around.

I really wanted to protect you.  I will protect you. (January 21, 2020)

Jeonghan despised the rain. Rain was the only thing in the world that could make people immediately frown and act irrationally. On the way home, they would tightly squeeze in impossibly massive herds inside the last train or continuously honk their car horns at the unmoving vehicles enclosed by endless streets. Whenever it rained, people raced to take shelter. They never notice the empty cardboard boxes they knock over in which was used to shield stray animals nor do they pay any heed to the elders they push aside. Jeonghan hated the sight of rain because it simply drove others mad--it’s the only time you are given a reason to act selfishly.

The pretty male didn’t expect finding such a strange envelope when he returned home. Within the stack of unnecessary mail, there was one that stood out. Tossing his umbrella to the ground, he takes full hold of the cream colored envelope.

07/22/10

The date appeared to be from ten years ago but his name was definitely whom the letter seem to be addressed to. July 22, 2010 felt extremely familiar--that’s right, graduation day.

To: Yoon Jeonghan

Pledis Academy, Class C

His eyebrows furrowed while examining the envelope. It looked quite old with torn corners but at at the same, it became hard to depict since the envelope felt a little damp. Maybe, due to the rainy weather. Slowly, he takes out the folded paper inside, careful enough so it doesn’t tear from the moist.

Yoon Jeonghan,

I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And those feelings will probably never go away. Goodbye.

Love letter? It wasn’t actually even considered a letter with that single line. That was definitely a confession though. No matter how many times Jeonghan flips the paper over, he doesn’t find a name. The envelope is completely blank, no address or anything. In that case, the stranger must have knew where he lived and hand delivered the letter. The situation grew even weirder thus he takes his smartphone in one hand and dials away.

“Jisoo?” The latter asks at the immediate response.

“Hey, what’s up?” The soft voice replies.

Jisoo was Jeonghan’s best friend whom he grew up with. They were always stuck together like glue. As children, they would never let go of their linked hands. Playing, bathing, and eating, they did it all together. No secrets were held between the two. Even when Jisoo had his first boyfriend, Jeonghan was the first to know.

“I received a really odd letter.” Jeonghan explains and even snaps a photo to send.

“Hmmm...why don’t you try looking through the yearbook?” Jisoo suggests after retrieving the photo and messages.

“And what? Compare the handwriting?” Jeonghan can hear the latter’s soft chuckle through the line.

“Tell you what, let’s go to the Pledis reunion tomorrow. I mean that invitation is just lying around the house right?” Jisoo suggests once more.

“Seungcheol will probably come with us if you’re going.”

Jeonghan agrees after telling Jisoo to ‘shut up’ at the last comment. That night, the pretty male searches through his entire apartment room for the yearbook. He didn’t mind the messy room and unmade bed nor does he care for the television that’s currently on some news channel. Nevertheless, he laid his head against a pillow and flipped through pages of picture memories. It was a night of reminiscing. He could barely even hear the words from the television once he sinks into nostalgic remembrances.

Jeonghan smiled as he remembers their last camping trip as seniors and even that summer festival they participated in. Suddenly, he comes across a picture of him, Jisoo, and Seungcheol dressed up in fancy attires, surrounded by a room of colorful lights and balloons. Oh right--that was prom night. He had completely forgotten he went with Seungcheol as his date until he discerns the next picture of the both of them caught in the moment of slow dancing. It’s strange that he couldn’t even tell from his own expression captured in the photograph if he was happy at the time or not. His arms were wrapped so tightly around a grinning Seungcheol but his own face appeared to be turning a different direction as if there was something--someone on the other side. Had he wanted to be Seungcheol's date? And who was he looking at in that photo? He couldn’t remember that much. He’s long forgotten the childish feelings of ten years ago. Gradually, his eyes close and he loses perception of his surroundings. He doesn’t see when the yearbook in his hands drop to the ground nor does he hear the ongoing announcements on the television he didn’t turn off.

...Kim Mingyu age 28, arrested this morning at 3:30 a.m.

The next morning, Jeonghan awakes to the soft sound of rain falling against his window. He’s often thought rainy season seemed the longest. The latter brushes the long hair from his face and wearily saunters into the shower, finally flipping off the television once he realizes it’s been on all night. Even in such gloomy weather, he still needs to go to work. On the way, he grabs himself coffee as usual from the cafe around the corner he frequents. He never thought he would grow to like caffeine so much but he guesses as you get older, you begin to fall for many other things.

“Good morning, Mr. Han.” Jeonghan greets, waving with a large grin as he walks in.

“Hi, Jeonghannie~”

Mr. Han quickly became close with Jeonghan who visited often. They always chatted for a long time before the pretty male left for work. Sometimes, Jeonghan would even come during his free time, order the same drink as he always did and just take a nap at the front table. It’s crazy to think he’s been going to the same cafe since his college days. Whenever he felt down, he drank the same coffee he always orders, falls asleep and by the time he wakes up, there’d be a refill at his side. The drink was always perfect. He preferred honey rather than sugar and milk with cream rather than just one or the other and that’s exactly how it was made each time.

“The usual, right?” Mr. Han reassures and Jeonghan nods while taking the same seat he sat at everyday.

In just a matter of seconds, the elder man reappears while carrying a to-go cup of steaming coffee. But for some reason, he wore an unreadable expression. Jeonghan seizes it with a smile and takes a quick sip. When the warm liquid goes down his throat, his facial features changes.

“It tastes...a little different today?” The pretty male expresses. The drink definitely tasted a whole new level of different. It was very thick and sugary, mixed with a slight bitter flavor. The coffee beans were also stronger than usual.

Mr. Han smacks his lips right away. “I knew you’d notice.”

Jeonghan blinks in confusion.

“My barista quit yesterday.”

Jeonghan blinks again. “I didn’t even know you had another employee. I thought it was just you this whole time.” The pretty male shares.

“He always stayed in the back so not many customers knew of him.” Mr. Han explains while passing over a plate of snacks. “It really was a pity he left, he had really amazing skills.”

The day went by as usual, nothing in particular changed. Jeonghan joined the company meeting for today and brought coffee for the new interns. He finished his work silently at his desk while receiving hundreds of text messages from Jisoo about the reunion they would be attending tonight. You could say they’d always been more of the well known group during their highschool days therefore Jisoo probably looked forward to seeing those of the past. He also receives a couple messages from Seungcheol asking when he should swing by. Before long, the sky has turned dark and the rain had stopped although it remained chilly outside. Jeonghan tightens up his jacket and gets ready to leave.

It doesn’t take long at all for the pretty male to prepare. He throws on a casual white sweater with light colored jeans and ankle boots. Once he receives a last message from Seungcheol informing of his and Jisoo’s arrival outside, he throws on a warmer jacket and allows his long ashy blonde hair to flow down to his shoulders naturally. Tonight, Jisoo was full of spirit and at the passenger seat besides Seungcheol, he sat with a beautiful smile that never fades. Sometimes Jeonghan wonders if Jisoo is keeping a secret from him. His eyes always sparkled while talking to Seungcheol even if he would joke around about the man’s long-time crush on Jeonghan.

Pledis Academy definitely appeared exactly the same as it did ten years ago. As they arrive, many guests were already sauntering in one direction towards the gym where the main event was being held. Inside the spacious room was exceptionally ravishing tonight. On all four corners were each a table with food and drinks where familiar faces began to gather.

“Seungcheol!” The shorter boy who runs over leads another group of familiar faces.

“Remember me?!” He shouts loudly, pointing to his own chest. “It’s me! Seungkwan, Boo Seungkwan!”

“Of course I remember you, Seungkwan.” Seungcheol responds, a grin decorating his handsome face. “And you as well, Jeon Wonwoo.” He says accordingly towards each person. “Lee Jihoon, Wen Junhui, Xu MingHao, and Chwe Hansol.”

The classmates immediately brighten up into smiles. The group chats well, inquiring each other’s present occupations, what universities they had attended, and love life of course. The group makes fun of Wonwoo for having the biggest crush on Jeonghan back then and Hansol who was Jisoo’s first boyfriend. The shy boy really was head over heels for Jisoo, always buying him flowers and chocolates as if everyday were Valentine’s day. No one forgets Seungcheol obviously. He had confessed in front of the whole school after all.

“I remember that!” Junhui exclaimed, laughing so hard he had to bend down while Minghao patted his back.

“You got on stage and presented a hilarious poem with a rose in hand. It was so funny, I still remember it till this day~” Jihoon mocked, causing the

group to laugh even louder than before.

“Shut up.” Seungcheol laughed, glancing at Jeonghan who didn’t seem to be paying attention.

“Roses are red, violets are blue” The group ridicules in unison. “You might not like me but I really like you~”

Jeonghan doesn’t even spare a look. Seungcheol notices it all.

“And then you walked down the canteen aisle to give Jeonghan a rose--” Finally, the group realizes it and stops joking.

“What’s wrong, Jeonghan?” Seungcheol asks. Jeonghan appeared to be staring into a distance of crowd and loud chatterings before breaking out of thought.

“Oh…” The pretty male blinks expressionlessly. “I was just listening to what they were talking about. Something about Mingyu getting arrested…” He points towards the group who stops gossiping and suddenly stares their way.

“Mingyu?” Seungkwan questions with a finger on his chin. “I can’t remember who that is.”

“You know that tall kid that was always glaring at everyone?” Junhui says. “He was kinda gloomy and never talked with anyone?”

“Oh!” Hansol joins. “But that’s not true, I saw him talking to Seungcheol once and on graduation day too.”

Jeonghan is distracted by that name. Mingyu-- if he remembers correctly, Kim Mingyu was always someone who seem to be around him back in the days.

“Oh, I heard