I would find him sitting cross-legged on the floor, staring out the window at different times of the day. Today the late evening sun seemed to caress his dark brown hair, making it golden in the light. His slender, lithe body was relaxed yet his back still straightened, adding the elegant aura and portraying the dancer that he is. Still in the loose, white long-sleeved t-shirt and black pants he wore for his practice, he kept facing to the window as if trying to absorb what’s left of the light. You would call him beautiful, ethereal, and I would call him that too. But you’ve never seen the depths of his eyes and you’ll never know just how broken this man was.

I quietly approached him, trying not to break the peaceful atmosphere in the studio. I sat down beside him and tried to find out what caught his attention this time. There was no little bird and its other companion on the windowsill like that one morning, or a squirrel sitting on the branch of the tree outside. It was just an expanse of different hues of reds and yellows, leaves falling off, blowing slowly with the autumn wind.

“It’s getting cold outside isn’t it?” His gentle voice ran in my ears, never breaking the calmness. I turned to face him but he never left his gaze from the scenery outside.

“Yes, it is,” he smiled at my reply and finally turned to see me.

“Hello, Jinki hyung.” I didn’t bother replying and just stared at him, reading his expression. He seems content that day, judging from the lack of tenseness in his smile. Nobody can ever notice the difference in his smiles like I can and it’s something I take pride in.

“Don’t stare at me so intensely. You’re creeping me out,” he chuckled and went back to looking out the window. He adjusted his position and hugged his legs closer to his chest, resting his chin on his knee. At times like these he looked so innocent and fragile. He looked much younger than his age and yet he is mature beyond his years.

“Play me a song, hyung?” I silently got up and made my way to the piano at the corner of the studio and started playing the familiar tune that he liked so much. A ballad I wrote a couple of months ago, never to be heard outside of these four walls. He didn’t move an inch throughout the song, those who don’t pay enough attention to the subtle rise and fall of his shoulder could easily mistake him as a statue. A work of art, he is.

As the last note rings in the air he finally moved and turned to me, motioning me take the spot beside him again. Once I sat down he rested his head on my shoulder. Instinctively I wrap my arms around his waist and pulled him closer.

“I spent a lot of time thinking here by the window today,” he took my other hand in his and fiddled with my fingers. He would always absent mindedly do that whenever he’s relaxed.

“Just like you always do,” he chuckled and nodded.

“Just like I always do. Just like that day when you found me here, right?”

I remember the first time I met Taemin. It was morning, around 9AM. I just moved into the area to complete my music major in the local university and was looking for a quiet place to practice my piano. I heard that the campus dance studio had a piano and the place is not used before 10AM. When I entered the room he was there, exactly like how I found him today. He was basking in the morning light, sitting calmly at the exact same spot. That day I thought to myself, “What a beautiful sight,” and I still think that way every time I enter this room.

“Good morning,” he greeted and turned to give me the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. From that moment we came to a silent, mutual agreement to meet each other again very soon.

Little by little I began to understand him. I would drink in every single detail of him, his appearance, his personality, his stories, his happiness and his pain. I would thirst for his smile and laughter, gaining much satisfaction when I’m the cause of it.

But one day in the middle of spring, just when the flowers were blooming beautifully, he was hunched and shivering in front of the window. It was a beautiful day outside but he was withering. He had been slowly withering but I never noticed. I stood frozen by the door, listening to soft sobs coming from him. That was the first time I played the ballad for him and that was the day I promised myself to pick up the pieces and fix what’s left of him.

I tried my best to figure him out, taking mental note of our interactions, his expressions, the way he talks, the words he used. I coaxed him out of his closed off world and made him took off his mask.

“You don’t have to pretend. I’m here and I won’t leave you.” With those words he broke down and cried for hours until he fell asleep in my arms.

I saw him flourished under my care, and how magnificent it was. If a red rose would bloom in all its grandeur under the spring sun, Taemin bloomed a thousand times more beautifully than that. And it was an honor for me to be that spring sun that made him grow into what he is today.

“I can’t imagine where I would be if you never entered this room on the day we met,” he said while still playing with my fingers.

“I’m glad I met you then,” I kissed his temple and drew little circles on his waist with my thumb. He chuckled and released my hand only to give me an almost crushing hug.

“I sit here and made a lot of wishes before I met you. I wished for a loyal friend, I wished for a protective brother, I wished for a wise teacher, I wished for a loving partner. I’m so happy and so thankful that all my wishes came true!” It was my turn to chuckle and shifted him to face me and straddle me so I could get a better look of his face. I tuck his hair behind his ear and caressed his cheek.

“Ever since I met you I’ve only made one wish that I would repeat every day,” he brought my hands to cup his cheeks.

“And what would that wish be?” He grinned and flashed me those perfect pearly whites, making my heart skipped a beat.

“That we will be together forever, of course!”

At that moment I thanked God for sending me this angel into my life, this little ball of sunshine to brighten up my days, this beautiful, magnificent flower to grace my days with its beauty.

“I love you, Jinki hyung.”

“I love you too, Taemin.”

He leaned in to kiss me and I knew I’ve found the one to complete my life.

In front of this window everything started. And let this window, and whatever that is beyond it, be the witness of our love.