7:30am Friday

"Jong are you awake?, you're going to be late for school!" it was my mother her voice sounded muffled from behind my closed door, the shouting most likely came from the downstairs kitchen. I stood up from my comfortable sitting position and stretched my arms above my head.

" that was nice while it lasted" I Headed toward my closet to find my clothes for the day nice and neatly dangling from a hanger surrounded by other not so neat cloths. my mother knocked on my door and entered " Jong?" she sounded a little distrught.

" yes,ma" i turend to look at her she was flushed but no more than usual around this time. usually her long  black hair was down but today i was in a in a messy bun her caring sweet brown eyes was in a iratated mode she must have tried to wake up taemin before me.

" will you wake up your brother for me? i tryed and well you know how that goes" she foolede her amrs across her chest and rooled her eyes at the memory.

"yep a messy bed and you worn out" i continued to put my shirt on and walked toward her flusterd body. my mom isnt tall like me i stand just ubove her eyebrow.

"remind me to ask you later how you do it" i give her a tght hug. and then relese her while looking at her face

"aw ma all it takes is a little love, some patince, and a dash of fear"

"huh, what was thar last part again" i laughed at her confussion

"nothing "i moved her to the side so i could do my daily dutes as a big brother. Me and my mother have lived in this house for 2 years along with my step-father and his son.As i walk down the hall i could already hear the shower running from my parents bathroom it was most likely the old man. my mother had remarried 5 years after my father left i didn’t really have a say in it but i doubt that i would’ve made a difference anyway, i like my new step dad, him and his son they were a good match for us.i stopped in front of a door with light snoring coming from behind and knocked once to see if the sound would wake him up  but it never does.

"taemin it's time to wake up" when i opened the door to find a small lump under a bunch of messy blankets.

"i don’t wanna" he groaned his muffled voice comes from under the bundle of sheets.

" well ma said" i walked in the room and sat on the bed he made no movements

" fine if you don’t want to wake up then just wait till father comes in here and wakes you up himself" of course i was bluffing but...

 "fine" he said much to his disatisfation out from under the sheet emerges a young boy, 17 years old, he had long honey brown hair that stopped at his sholders (but at the moment it was in messy bed head form),  doe brown eyes crusted in sleep that were mad and Foucsed on me and dry droll at the corner of his full lips.

"i hate you," he says while rubbing his eyes.

"don’t blame me next time don’t stay up late talking to your friend"i said as i leand against the wall.

" what else is there to do?"

"how about study, did you even study for test today?"

"what if i didn’t?" he looks up.

"taemin i refuse to help you if you don't even study, i vouched for you i told  your dad that you should have a sleepover ,that it wouldn't be a distraction to your studies don’t even think your friend is coming over for a sleepover if you fail your test today-".

"how did you even find out about the test , hyung, i tried i did ,but it was too hard i would have never gotten it done in one night any way" he cut me off with a shcoked face.

"one i've ben the to answer every parent teacher phone call since i turned eighteen so i know basically everything that goes on at the hole of a school and about how bad you grades have gotten by the way " i call that school  because i know the buylling that goes on at that school and i know about the lazy teachers that don't do anything to stop it  "and two stop being so over dramatic lee taemin, you are not stupid and if you had asked for help beforehand you wouldn’t be in this predicament now would you" he looks up at me useing is aigoo poking out his lip, turning his eyes wide.

"hyung?" i went to go sit on his bed 

"no, taemin i am not going to help you"

"please" be begged grabbing onto my shirt " i don’t have any other friends and i just made this one, i already told him that friday was the day he could sleepover, it would look like i’m a liar if i told him that he couldn’t and he wouldn’t want to be friends with a liar now would he"

"huh- well fine i’ll help you, but first tell me he’s a good kid i don’t want anymore bad influence on you anymore than you already are"

"okay, his name it is kim jongin but everyone calls him Kai, he’s my age and he likes to to dance maybe like is an understatement he loves to dance and he’s really good at it, he’s a straight A student and is running for class representative and-"

"why haven’t you mentioned him before he sounds nice"

" that's because he just moved here 6 weeks ago but everyone already likes him, but people say he shouldn’t hang around me because i’m weird"

"and what makes you weird?"

" they say it's because im a trangender "

"who"

"who else just some jerks at school, it's not really a big deal i just try my best to ignore it" he looks down at his hands

"there are many things that make you weird and the way you look isn't one of them"

" but it's true right, that I look like a girl'

" no,you're just....."

" what pretty"

When taemin and I meet for the first time he was 11 and I was 15, and to me he looked normal like a boy should few bruises here in there, highly energetic, loved the outdoors,played video games, but as he got older.....i suppose i should say his mother started to occur more in his appearance, same taemin just prettier.

"no, just you look better than most guys, don't girls like you haven't they talked to you"

"yep"

" see who cares what the other boys-"

" they wanted to know my secret?, and i asked them what do they mean, their reply was why did i get surgery to become more feminine that question lead to them interrogating me asking if i’m going to get a uall chang or if i was a girl who wanted to be a boy, then they got mad because I told them that I didn't have a secret and that it just natural, something you have to be born with,which they all crealy lacked " he grabbed hold of his bed sheets and clinched down on it almost as he tried to strangle them . Ever since his first year of middle school he’s been tormented about his appearance and it's stuck with him all they way to high school.

" well if you get your hair cut-"

"why should i have to change to please them"

"i never said that you have to ,but it is something to think about"

"there nothing to think about, my mother always said she liked my hair long"

when taemin's mother was alive taemin said she wouldn't let his father cut it she would brush it everyday and style it the way she wanted he said he gave no protest he saw nothing wrong within her doing so.

" do you think she wanted a daughter"

" no why would she, your mom you can be a bit of a handful but that’s what make you more loveable, and you can’t help but look pretty it’s an advantage that you can use to learn to help you in the art of seduction"

"what for guy’s or for girls?"

"both, girls like pretty boys and guys won’t hit a pretty face and having some confidence in your appearance and actions won’t hurt"

"i beg to differ but you’re basically telling me to be bi"it did sound like that.

" no i'm saying be taemin"

taemin shrugged and sat up he wrapped his arms around my neck he leaned his head on my shoulder and looked up he had a glent in his eyes that said he was up to something.

"jjong" he slurred his voice and add a cute accent.

" what Taemin what are you doing ?"

"nothing,  i was just wondering if you could use that wonderful colloge brain of yours and help me with my home.." I knew it.

" no you little-,  didn't i tell you to cut that out"

"i’ll stop when it became less funny"

"oh yeah well when your dad finds out you didnt study he's going to hand you your  on a sliver plater"

"you worry too much, well it was worth a try," he shrugged his shoulders "I have to get dressed now so unless you wanna see my hot bod I suggest you get out" he smiled.

"  but, there's nothing to see" he pushed me off the bed and stands up revealing he had no shirt only sweatpants, the girls were right he does look feminine i would definitely confuse him for a chick on the streets.I stood up and ruffle the hair on his head, he looked at me confused.

"what?"

" hyung, did you get shorter?"

6:00am

 i guess i considered us a  normal family well as normal as we can get we do have our down days but we get though them togehter me, mom and taemin my step dad is .... there when he can be which is never he only comes home to shower and be with his wife and that is on a rare occasion only because of his multetiy billion dollar compay but he's not all bad as long as my mother is happy im happy.

" did you both, do your homework" ma asked as she put our breakfast in front of us.

" yes" we said insink I ended up helping him through it i wasn't much help to begin with, math just wasn't my best subject and it never will be.

" taemin what time are you and your friend going to come home?" my mother said sitting down at her side of the table. watching as taemin stuffed his face.

" well it depends," he say with a full mouth " see he's running for class rep and if he's elected he'll have to stay after for a small moment and If he does I'll stay to"

" do you want me to pick you both up?"

" no well walk "

" what about you Jong, have any plans after school?" she say turning her attenion on me.

"no but I won't be home till late so don't wait up okay"

"and why is that" she say in a noisy tone 

" dont get excited i'm just going to hang out with minho and onew"

" well okay just dont stay out to late you know how who you know who gets" she was refering to my step dad to live in his house and be over eighteen you have to be making at least a A- or he'll kick you out and you have to be back in this house before one am  lucky taemin isn't twenty like me or his dad will have is for how bad hid his grades have gotten "so how is college going"?

" fine"

" nobody you're interested in?" why does brekfest always turn into the topic of my love life it's not like i haven't dated but i haven't introduced anyone to my family in a moment i just dont want to bring just anybody home espically to my mother she may seem sweet but if i bring a past  "girlfriend" she'll talk my ears off about why i shouldn't date her or why i should be with some girl she meet a work party her husband took her to. 

" actualy i did hear him calling out some girl's name last night  i think he kept saying key" taemin blurts out.

" what!"for only a small second did the image of that perfect smile came to mind. but I did looked at him confused why would he say that.

" oooooo I can't believe my son has a girlfriend is she pretty?i bet she is, you have to bring her here so we ca-"

" umm no , one because she dosen't exist and two how many time do i have to keep tell you to stop comming into my room" 

" i didn't go into your room you fell a sleep in my room one time and i couldn't go to sleep becuse you kept saying that name over and over wait is it possible my brother was having  a dirty dream?" I knew I tend to stay up late and sleep with my eyes open but I never knew i talked in my sleep.

" taemin, quit it's perfectly normal for a man of jong's age to have thoes dreams about his girlfriend" I can't believe we're having this conversation right now.

" mom, please stop" i can feel my face beign to turn red.

"there's nothing to be ashamed of, your a growing young-"

" wouldn't that imply he's actually still growing"

" hush it taemin" insted of quiting he burst in a fit of laugter

" unbelievable, I'm leaving" i stood and headed for the door

" wait I need a ride" taemin yelled standing up eating the last bit of his breakfast

" no" I wasn't really mad at him more embarrassed than anything.

" give your brother a ride" a deep voice came from the top of the staircase steps could be heard has a man descended from the top to the bottom it was taemins dad. his brown hair with strands of gray was slicked showing of his old yet handsome features his mostlikly thousand dollar suit fitting his musculer body to a T all of it making him look like the billionair he is.

"but-"

" no butts"

" your up dear come sit so i can make you some-" he walks over to my mom and kisses her forhead stopping her from finshing her sentance.

"i cant' i have to finsh somemore documents at work okay" my mother pouted he could see her dissappointment " but i do want ask you will you acompany me on sunday.

"why would i do that and where would we even go" she folded her arms across her chest.

" because i want to spend time with my wife and the location is secrate" he leans into kiss her lis but me and tamien grone end their onw litle world.

"bye" we said insink we could her our mom chuckle in the backround

"see you to later". We both headed out the door and toward our car

" who is key taemin asks

" I don't know"

" then what is a key"

I jiggled the car keys in front of his face. " see keys"

" that's not what I ment, if the name you said isn't a person then what is it?"

Taemin was too smart for his own good, I wanted to tell him that the name he over heard is a person but that would mean I knew myself. It's just been so long, I feel like that memory is just a recurring dream but the more it haunts me the more it turns into a nightmare.