Chapter 06

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"He Knows"

“Are you serious? You’ve been at it the past three months and now you don’t mind?”

Youngjae shrugged most nonchalantly. “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Daehyun didn’t understand one bit. Harsh words stirred in his mind but he pursued his lips instead. They were trying too hard to hold things together and he didn’t want to upset Youngjae.

But it should work the other way around too, right? What about how Daehyun feels?

Youngjae noticed Daehyuns cheeks turning red; but more he watched, more he wanted to avoid explaining himself. He went back to washing the plates; and Daehyun just grumbled.

“Fine.” Daehyun huffed, and stood up – walked to their closet, opened it; and chose a change of clothes and afterwards, went through the few books the two had, and chose one at random; hoping it can help by distracting him.

Youngjae didn’t say a word for the rest of the day; and Daehyun wondered how long this is going to continue. His biggest problem was that he couldn’t understand what the problem is.

The next day, Youngjae followed Daehyun out to sing at the pub as usual. When they sat down, Youngjae motioned for the guitar and Daehyun handed it over.

Singing together meant so much more than just a job.

Maybe that was a long time ago.

-

The next morning was a Sunday, and Daehyun was up first, taken his recent inability to fall asleep peacefully. There were rims under his eyes and blinking literally hurt, and the more time he spent glaring at the papers on his desk, more he turned irritated.

One day or another; he and Youngjae will have to talk about what’s happening to them. The more they push it away; the least the chances of them being able to work it out is going to be. No matter what; Daehyun decided – the two of are in this together.

Daehyun wasn’t nervous or agitated when he walked to Youngjae and shook him by the shoulder. The only thing that irritated him was how nonchalant he felt. He just wanted to talk, after all.

Youngjae opened his eyes, lips agape. He wiped his nose, but otherwise, did nothing else. He didn’t even blink.

“We need to talk.” Daehyun started.

Youngjae neither avoided him by rolling his eyes; or neither did he nod to okay. He watched. Daehyun sat down next to Youngjae on their bed, and started looking for words.

“I don’t even know when this started to happen.” Daehyun confessed, sincerely as he could. He took one look around, and sighed. “The only things I look back to are how happy we had been here.”

The two met gazes again.

“And I’m just… tired, and sorry – that all of it is, anyway.

The time you didn’t come back until two O’ clock or something, Youngjae – I … I checked for the closet to see if you left, and that was just …”

Youngjae bit his lip, breathing in once sharply. Of course it must have been horrible. Everything had been horrible recently. Every damned thing. His heart sank when he saw Daehyun blink away tears, and he hated how it felt.

‘I’m not being fair, am I?’ he thought, and sighed. He found Daehyuns hand on his knee, but wrapping his own over felt so very different.

All this time, he had lost count of how many days they had slept side by side, had breakfast lunch and dinner together, and had held hands every single evening – returning back to the subway with leftover rice packets hanging by their side.

Right now; Daehyuns hands were warm, and the heat radiated through the coldness Youngjae had been trying to wrap himself around.

Why was he trying to run away from someone as warm as the sun? No matter what, we’re in this together – right?

Daehyun took his time, holding back Youngjaes thin fingers.

Youngjae had tried. He tried to fix things. But obviously it hasn’t worked. He wa