A number of songwriters , singers and composers sat in a medium sized room furnished with tablet armchairs , all gathered to attend a class that was supposed to ' inspire ' them as quoted by instructor dong-chul .

" I do not claim that after this class you will go out with 100% full inspiration but I dare any of you to say you would not benefit of it at all . " kang dong-chul , also known as brave sound , spoke up as he paced around the table meant for him , briefly letting his eyes meet those of the ' students ' seated in front of him . Most of them were not interested nor impressed . But they would , eventually , he told himself .

" Inspiration management class . It's much the same as a stress management class . It's something I have come up with after careful observation and experience . " Confidence practically radiating from him , the famous producer spoke up , recalling the time he first thought of starting such class . People nowadays have a hard time getting inspired in the middle of their busy and fast paced life . There's almost always no time for inspiration . He hated that and was determined to change it . A world with no beautiful lyrics , no meaningful words , no soul-touching music , no emotions , terrifed him deeply . It would be so dull and he refused to live in such a world . It's for that reason that he'd gathered his current team and was now standing before them saying such words , sharing his treasure .

His train of thoughts reaching its destination , Dong-Chul took a deep breath before lifting his chin up and talking once more .

" A paradox it is . I have noticed , when I have obligation or when I shouldn't actually get distracted ,  I end up doing just that . I get motivated and inspired to  do anything productive and entertaining at the same time , most importantly something I want to  ! It's a matter of control , needing to have a say in it . " Now that everyone started to listen attentively , he found himself smirking inwardly in satisfaction . That's it . Knew they were going to get interested eventually . Now was not the time to brag about it though . He told himself and focused on his unscripted lesson .

" Engaging in physical or mental obligations triggers that part in us . Whereas , when we already have a lot of free time , we get lazy because we know there's no need to prove anything  and that we've all the time in the world . In other words , the brain switches to rest mood ( our previous obligations consume all of our energy leaving us with little to no motivation to do anything when we finally have a lengthy period of free time ) That's why we need to at least plan few tasks . Hell ! Even tidying up your room counts . When you satisfy an obligation , no matter how diminutive , you feel like you're allowed to reward yourself and do something you like . It's as if your inner self thinks ' okay , that's one job done now where is my time ? My preference ? My span of control ? My share ? Where is what makes me myself and not my obligations ?' "  Words after words escaped his mouth , effectively entrancing everyone with how eye-opening it was . Not only was his speech motivating , it was too beautiful to watch , the way he talked with so much passion it sparkled in his eyes . Unconsciously , the other occupants of the room started smiling as well , the same eye-sparkle passing on to them mirroring the producer's own . Chanhee and Byunghun were no exception .  

" Something else . Realistically , no matter how much you try to , you can't fill a cup that's already full . You either gotta stop filling it or risk spilling some of it . " Dong Chul 's expression turned into a more casual one as he found himself leading the way to the end of his class . People needed to empty their cups every once in awhile , to start a new .

Something in Byunghun and Chanhee clicked . Their hearts froze for a moment as both found themselves recalling a certain question that plagued their thoughts back then , just before they broke up .

they didn't know how or why , it just happened .

In that moment , the answer to that question hit them like a brick wall .

When the producer said that , they both seemed to space out , thinking about it .
they imagined the cup as their love . They had reached the of their relationship , the point where the line between love and hate blurred . which was exactly why they had to break up , had to empty the cup . So they could start anew .

Even though they both came to the same conclusion , Byunghun still clung to his pride . He knew , deep inside , that he still loved the elder and it was more than obvious Chanhee still did too . But he couldn't just toss those months worth of loneliness away .
 

Still .. he found himself almost shedding tears at the knowledge that the problem all long wasn't the fact that they fell out of love , on the contrary . The problem was that they loved each other too much they couldn't possibly reach a level of love higher .

After the , they dropped .
Anything in excess is Harmful .

~ ♦ ~ 

That day , Byunghun came back home in the evening , to find Kevin there . Not only that . the infamous playboy had actually prepared a feast for him , a romantic one at that .

" Kevin .. " The blonde started . However , he could not find any words to say and so he ended up sighing as he turned around , facing the couch instead of the dining table as if searching for something to say , anything to make the elder understand .

He didn't want to be rude , especially as he noticed how the food seemed to be homecooked . It was admirable that someone like kevin could put so much effort in kitchen for him . ​​​​​​Not only that , the plates were served in a beautiful fashion , the rose-scented candles added a pleasant vibe to the whole picture , the red flowers in the vase looked fresh and stunning . Everything was made to perfection . the only thing missing was it being requited . All of that romantic atmosphere clearly portrayed Kevin's love but Byunghun could not lie to himself and say he felt the same . And the elder seemed to feel that . Which why he quickly parted his lips to speak , hoping to change the blonde male's opinion .

" Byunghun , just once , give me a chance . "

Kevin approached him , his tone sitting on the border between a plea and a command .

The amount of honesty , determination and passion shining in the other male's eyes almost made Byunghun falter and give in .

Almost .. But he couldn't , he wouldn't keep that game going on any longer , not when it meant hurting kevin and taking advantage of his feelings . Not when the only reason he nearly gave his 'okay' was because of that determination reminding him of the time Chanhee first confessed to him .

Besides , if his memory served him right , the last time they met , he'd clearly told the elder he was not in love with him nor will he ever be .

" All of this effort .. what if I didn't come back home , ha ? " It seemed like a lame excuse but really .. why would someone do so much without even making sure it wouldn't go to waste ? When there was a great chance of the one you have worked so hard to surprise had other plans ? or had no intention of going back home ? Would he have waited till dawn ? Perhaps Byunghun wanted the elder to call beforehand and say he was waiting for him .. Maybe then he would have found an excuse not to go back gome , just to spare both of them the hurt . But no .. the more rational part in his brain argued . He would not run away anymore . It was time to come clean and say it in elaborate words even if it would hurt the other male beyond repair .

Rubbing a hand all over his face and exhaling deeply , Byunghun took a moment to arrange his thoughts before gently pulling kevin towards the sofa and finally sitting down .

" It would be unfair , kevin . you don't deserve someone who would never return your feelings with the same intensity , if at all . " Tone calm and persuasive , Byunghun spoke up in sheer honesty for the first time . He did like the guy and he didn't want to hurt him further . From the very beignning they were supposed to have a no strings attached relationship . How it came down to this , Byunghun had no idea . But he was sure he had not done a thing to lead the elder on . And would not start now . His problem was that he fabricated a lie for himself to live in and ended up believing it . He genuinely thought he could toss all the love he'd buried deep inside for a certain brunette like it was the easiest thing to . But it wasn't . he finally understood that . And he would not involve another person in yet another lie . He would not let kevin lie to himself and belive in what they could have .. those were false hopes . And they just so happen to hurt the worst .

Byunghun took in a shaky breath before reaching for kevin's hands , his way of comforting him . But it only ever ended up making the elder struggle to fight back the tears . The thing that made a certain blonde purse his lips , guilt warring against guilt . If he chose to spare kevin the pain of leaving him , he'd be condemning to another kind of pain making himself just as guilty .

" I beg of you kevin , rid me of this guilt . Rid yourself of this corrupted unyielding and poisonous love . " He was almost on the verge of tears as he said those words . That's exactly how it felt like to love .

Byunghun knew it . he'd learned that the hard way . Even true mutual love had every power to hurt people . Imagine an unrequited one . Love wasn't as beautiful as literature often portrayed . For him , it was nothing but a boat , lurching in an ocean of grief .

He could have scoffed at himself .

Smiling , Byunghun chased those thoughts away and sniffed before letting his gaze meet kevin's and finally speaking up again

" One day you would remember my words and be thankful . In a year or less , the hurt in here will be insignificant and you will move on , eventually . life goes on , Kevin . " His hand traveled to the elder's chest as he said that , referring to his heart . Byunghun let that weak smile adorn his face again as he watched kevin shaking his head and shedding tears , not wanting to part . Nonetheless it would all change some day , Byunghun knew . There was no telling when , but it would .

~ ♦ ~ 

Jogging with sunglasses on and handsfree plugged in ears , a certain blonde songwriter made his way inside a particular cat cafe .

The door chimmed as he entered scanning the place for a familiar mop of brownish plum hair , the owner and his friend as well - two years younger than him .

As if on cue , he found a waiter nodding in his way , probably wanting hto lead him to a table . The special treatment had been understandable . he was a famous songwriter after all . Byunghun just shook his head and said he was only there to meet the owner , who interestingly , chose that moment to emerge , wearing a very realistic cat - no .. wolf ears . The blonde just chuckled and shook his head at that . Damn that friend of mine really goes great lengths for his work . Byunghun thought as he watched Changhyun , nicknamed Ricky , approach him with that otherwordly beam of his . The plum haired male had always been a ball of sunshine and no amount of years could change that , nor work . Something to be envied for , Byunghun supposed .

" Wah !! someone finally decided to show up , ha ? Just recalled the fact you had a friend called Changhyun ? " Crushing him in a bear hug , that was equal parts intended to be a punishment and a genuine show of longing , the babyfaced younger male playfully mocked drawing a hearty chuckle from the guilty male . He'd been a bad friend , truth be told . But not intentionally . He was a busy person after all . Besides , he hadn't been in the best of moods since a year .. since .. Whatever , it wasn't time to think about that . He was there for work and only that .

Upon pulling away , Byunghun rubbed his neck nervously and started apologizing for the long wait . " Sorry , man . you know it was not done on purpose . "

Changhyun nodded and shook his head dismissively before responding . He'd never been one to hold grudges after all . " I'm sure it wasn't . Any ways what can I get you ? the usual ? "

Byunghun smiled and sighed dramatically before drawling " No . " as he let his eyes wander all over the place , almost squealing at the cat that randomly settled by his feet and started rubbing against his right leg . It was good thing Changhyun thought of a cat cafe . It distracted people enough from paying attention to their surrounding which was a total advantage for idols . Though realistically , it did not completely protect them from obsessed fans .

" I'm not here to be served , wuite the opposite . " the blonde revealed as he bent down to play with the kitty while his friend kept staring ahead , smile fading as he processed that . What ?

" What do you mean ? " The younger asked as he shifted his weight on one foot , receiving silence at first .

Byunghun stopped petting the cat and stood up again , huffing before explaining it " God , Ricky . You're as slow as ever . I want to be a waiter for today . "

However , the plum haired male still did not seem to understand and who could blame him . Why would someone like Byunghun want that ? he was no highschool student struggling with part-time jobs to finance his studies or add up to his allowance . He was no peasant with no experience either . He was a prestigious songwriter for heavens !

" It's a social experiment . " Byunghun justified , sarcasm evident in his tone . If Changhyun missed that , he wouldn't possibly miss the roll of eyes that accompanied it . The younger smiled from ear to ear , not in the least bit amused by such answer .

" I dunno why you want to but fine , follow me . "

◊♦    ◊♦     ◊♦

After getting dressed in a waiter uniform , Byunghun started working immediately , taking orders and serving meals while doing his best to observe .

One of the tables he tended to happened to be an odd mix kind of family consisting of a teenage girl , probably in high school , who looked like a nerd , her younger brother seemed to be the exact opposite with the way he dressed up . He was teasing her about something and seemed to be enjoying it too , Byunghun guessed . The parents though , were too distracted arguing over the appetizers they were just about to order .

It's almost crazy how much he could gather from just a glance .

On the far corner , an engaged couple occupied a two seat table , enjoying their deserts as they sent each other loving gazes . The aura there nearly exploded with hearts and sprinkles . Byunghun almost threw up .

A third table had nothing but girls ..Ehem .. nobody but girls occupying it , one of them had been crying ever since they got inside , struggling not to break down loudly so as not to draw everyone's attention in their way . Her boyfriend dumped her , most probably . And her group of friends thought they could comfort her with sweets . Pathetic . The songwriter shook his head and puffed up air before analyzing another table , it was the same , almost . The male version and with happiness instead of sorrow . One of the guys had probably gotten accepted in an entertainment company or passed an exam or maybe hooked the girl they all had a bet on ..

Whatever . Enough observation for now .

Just as he was about to go back inside , he was halted by a certain conversation . Two girls occupied one table , the shorter haired in them had on a look of appreciation as she listened to music and then exclaimed " God I love this song so much ! Lee Byunghun writes awesome songs ! "

The said blonde nearly choke . Did she not know he was actually the waiter ?

Her friend joined in and replied with a praise of her own . " Yes ! I sometimes wonder if he had experienced love , I mean , those lyrics .. there's just no way someone would be able to have such deep perspective of love without knowing how it feels like and just imagining , right ? "

Without realizing it , Byunghun had fully turned around , facing those girls . one of them gasped , the red velvet cupcake falling from her hand , eyes going wide as soon as she recognized him .

" Shoot .. " She said , making her friend frown in confusion before following her line of sight , twisting around to see what she meant . Both girls had a moment of shock before they started apologizing , for what , they had no idea but somehow the situation felt awkward .

Belatedly realizing what he'd done , Byunghun quickly snapped back to the real world and gave them his adorable smile , saying they needn't feel sorry before rushing back to the kitchen . He was not worried about fans bombarding him in real life or social media . They already knew he came there often and even knew about his friendship with the owner . That's what fansites do . What bugged him was their comments .

" Byunghun , what are you doing ? " Changhyun's voice cut his train of thoughts , making straighten up and face the younger . He'd been leaning on one counter for few minutes now , spacing out , as it seemed . And now a certain friend of his was getting suspicious .

Was he really that much of an open book ?

Trying to appear as casual as possible , Byunghun shrugged and busied himself with the plates before his eyes and finally answered

" Isn't it obvious ? Tending to customers . "

" No . I mean .. What are you doing helping me out with the cafe ? " Clarifying in a deliberately casual tone , the younger made a waving gesture with his hand , wanting to know why his friend decided to do such thing in the first place .

" Oh ! Keeping myself busy , something I heard from brave sound about inspiration . " Grateful for the harmless question , Byunghun answered back naturally . That was not the kind of investigation he expected but it was definitely better that way . Changhyun's eyebrows lifted up in a brief oh really imitation as he found himself feeling interested in how such work would help inspiration but then again he never knew much about that topic . Maybe Byunghun was telling the truth .

Nodding along , the plum haired decided to steer the conversation away from questions and instead focused on leaving the other a passing compliment ."​ Any ways . While it's true that this place has proven successful , your presence here today seems to have rivaled the kittens' cuteness and for that I'm sure we'll be getting a lot of cash . "

Byunghun burst into laughter at that and it didn't take long before Changhyun joined him . It had been a long  time since they spent time like that and only one thing , rather person , was missing . the cheerful younger lamented . Chanhee hyung ..

Changhyun was , after all , one of the select few who knew about their relationship . They may not say it but their actions spoke louder than words , Changhyun could tell . those two idiots were obviously still madly in love with each other but the wound must have been too deep , preventing  them from realizing or admitting that . He just hoped they would reconcile some day . He also hoped Byunghun would  stop suffering alone and instead start letting all of those emotions out , talking about them with him . Though maybe if Changhyun himself was in the elder's case , he wouldn't have wanted to talk about it .

Few hours later Byunghun was done with work , spent a few more minutes with his friends and the kittens before taking his leave .

The moment he stepped out of the cafe , the chilly breeze slammed against his face making him wince a little before lifting both hands to pull the hood on his head . Damn it was awfully cold . And even though he preferred winter than any other season , his body did not exactly seem to agree . He didn't have gloves with him and thus ended up hiding his hands inside his sleeves as much as he could until he felt his cell phone vibrating . A frown appeared on his face at that .

Reaching for his pocket , he pulled the phone out and checked the latest notifications . A toothed smile adorned his face as he read the news . It didn't take him long before he dialed up a certain number and waited for the line to connect , all the while smiling from ear to ear . As soon as the person answered , Byunghun congratulated " I'd say good job , if I didn't already know about it . " He received a proud chuckle in return , followed by a " Thanks a bunch , man ! I owe you " Peniel , one of Byunghun's idol friends , said , feeling truly grateful he had a chance to work with the blonde writer on one of his songs that he just posted on twitter . they have been slaving on that one , staying up late , modifying some parts , co-composing it and all . The final outcome was a success ! They both knew it judging by the amount of praises the rapper got himself from fans and even other idols .

Just as Byunghun was about to respond , he felt his phone vibrating next to his ears alerting him to an incoming call . He lowered the phone to see the caller ID , rolling his eyes once he realized who . He apologized to his friend and congratulated him once more before ending the call and answering the other .

" My Queen . " He sang in a playful tone , almost sarcastically . The female on the line humored the joke and retaliated with an equally sarcastic insult before brining up the same topic Byunghun expected , much to his irritation . It's not like he hated paying a visit to his parents but well .. He was not ready to lead a certain conversation he knew his mother would be dying to engage in , marriage . That was the last thing he wanted to talk about . which is why he ended the call with no definite promise to visit soon , sighing heavily once he pushed the phone back in his pocket , only to find himself staring in utter surprise at the person before his eyes .

Seething , the blonde snarled “ What part of leave me alone did you not understand ? ”

“ All of  it .. “ Chanhee spoke up calmly , letting out puffs of breath in the form of eddies as he did so . He was dressed in white woolen pullover with a wine red collared chemise under it and white pants . He looked like Christmas .

Astonished at such answer , Byunghun briefly narrowed his eyes in confusion knowing fully well the other had lots to say . And since he figured Chanhee wouldn't let him go any time any soon ,  he decided to hear him out . That didn't mean he was gonna believe any of it though .

“ I don't understand how those beautiful lips of yours could utter the coldest lies when your eyes clearly show otherwise . In fact , they show many emotions but hate ,  let alone dislike . “ Chanhee revealed as he inched closer to the younger , finally finding it in him to talk about them . He'd said those words in a sensual whisper all the while gazing right in his lover's unconvinced brown eyes .

" I don't know what you are talking about but I believe it's not my eyes you are looking at . Because there's no way in hell that's true . In fact , I guess I know why . they say ' you see what you want to see ' . " Byunghun took a moment to compose himself after hearing such throat-drying words , before hardening his facial expression and speaking up in a sneer , waiting only for a second to add

" And even if you are right , I would rather rot in hell than go back to you , Chunji . Even If I still have some feelings for you which is not true . You have to understand , what I feel for you is only the remnants of our memories together . just because something that we used love still makes us smile doesn't mean we still want it . "

After letting it all out , eyes burning with emotions he thought he no longer had , Byunghun waited for the elder's reaction , as if to challenge him . And oh Chanhee was more than ready for one .

" Really ? you don't want me ? Is that why you broke up with him ? " it was the singer's turn to challenge as he once more got closer , the younger not even realizing that as he focused solely on staring back at his ex lover , eyes widening as he processed such rhetorical question .

" What ? Where did you get that ? " Byunghun's eyes darted in a half circle as he paid a quick mental visit to the list of people they both knew and then it dawned on him . ! It had to be Changhyun ! I'm so gonna beat the living daylights out of him next time I see him . The blonde promised darkly as he wished he could do that right then right there . Changhyun ! What's he ? A news reporter ? Hell ! he could rival an entire news agency and on his own . let me guess he probably texted chunji and told him ' Byunghun is available . you can make a move on him if you ing want . '

Still lost in thoughts of strangling a certain baby faced younger , Byunghun startled for a second as he heard that melodic voice sound too close to his liking .

" Feigning ignorance I see . Let me ask you something else , is that why you chose someone who resembled me so much ? " Chanhee dropped the bomb that time .

Effectively snapped out of his thoughts , the blonde let out a sarcastic chuckle as he averted his eyes elsewhere before finally facing the elder again , ready to retort back " This is gonna hurt your fragile ego but , the world doesn't revolve around you . "

" At least I'm not denying my feelings . I'm brave enough to face them unlike you . " The brunette taunted , smiling right after as he shook his head and sighed , the rest of his speech springing to life at the heat of the moment .

" You know what your problem is ? you still love me but you keep telling yourself that I hurt you so much there's just no way you could still do . " He spoke up like he knew everything and God Byunghun wanted to slap him on the mouth to protect the truth he hid in the deepest recesses of his heart . Not having anything to say to that , more like having no chance , Byunghun stretched his eyes wide as he felt himself getting pulled forward , a pair of strong arms holding him by the waist before one of them moved upwards to his face keeping it in place and in the same exact heart-stopping second , a pair of lips smashed against his own . His hands rose to midair and stopped there , frozen by shock . He'd forgotten what it felt like to kiss someone you love . And having to relive the overwhelming sensation once more in such a situation , all of the sudden , did nothing to help his cause of protesting , at least at first . Chanhee's soft lips tickled his , making the younger's heart flutter and legs nearly give out . As if to make it worse , the brunette took the liberty of deepening the kiss quickly turning it into an open mouthed one , the thing that snapped the blonde out of his initial haze and eventually gave him power to switch the rational button back on .

Byunghun made a muffled sound as he shoved the elder away and panted , eyes wild with conflicted emotions , the most prominent of which being anger . It didn't go unnoticed by Chanhee . the elder let out a gloating snicker as he wiped the corner of his mouth , hiding the sharp pain coursing through his delicate tongue as it bled thanks to one stubborn Lee Byunghun .

" You are angry because you responded , because I forced the truth out of you , because you can't deny it anymore . " Chanhee , gave a new meaning to ness and added insult to injury , knowing very well that his spontaneous act gained them no audience thanks to the hood the younger had on .

Byunghun , on the other hand , could do naught but stare wordlessly at the level A jerk . He'd responded yes but that was only because the elder was a sinfully excellent kisser . Of course he wasn't just about to admit it that though .

Just as the blonde was about to go berserk and shout , Chanhee cut him with a troth " I will get you back , Byunghun . I will gain your trust again . I promise you . "

At that , the younger of the two ended up laughing in disbelief for a fleeting moment before solemnly stating " You have caused me so much pain . A simple kiss wouldn't change that . "

His relentless side took over . He'd be damned if he forgave the elder ..

.. That easily . The other part of him softly added , the one that had been waiting impatiently for Chanhee to say such words , from the moment they broke up . He was more confused than playing hard to get .. Confused , hurt , disappointed , betrayed .. Insecure ..

" How about a not so simple kiss ? " the brunette questioned with a hint of playfulness as he tilted his head to the side , still giving his words a serious vibe .

" Are you stupid ? "

the insult came instantly , making the elder smile before pouring all of his adoration into one long last gaze and finally closing his eyes , exhaling softly . The younger watched it all , with a guarded look on his face , having a gut feeling that his ex lover would say something stupid once more .

" No . I'm desperate . I'm desperately in love with you , Byunghun . " the elder genuinely corrected , shoulders dropping in resignation as he realized he could fight the urge no more . He was still madly and helplessly in love with the blonde writer he first met on Christmas eve of 2010 .

5805 words .

Updated 20 july 2017 .

Changhyun's wolf ears band .