“I want you for worse or for better, 

I would wait forever and ever,

Broke your heart, I’ll put it back together. 

I would wait forever and ever.” 

______________________________________

And they lived happily ever after…

“Pfft. Yeah, right,” Oh Sehun grunts, letting the book slide off his lap and onto the ground with a thud as he adjusted his seating position. Sehun wasn’t always so pessimistic with love. In fact, once upon a time, he was carefree and optimistic and naive. Ah. There we go, the worst trait of the trio. Naivety could be viewed as innocence to some, but to him, it only meant a lack of judgement and wisdom, which always ended badly. Always. That’s always the worst trait to have in a person, he decides a little too later. 

Running a hand through his hair, he openly sighs and turns to look out the window. It’s raining outside, but the sky is still clear and there’s sunlight. Tapping his fingers against his thigh, he starts to zone out again. Cinderella was lucky. She was loved by all for her fairness and beauty and even when nothing but crap was rained down onto her, she smiled through it all and eventually married a prince (the love of her life!) and became a princess. Cue the applause and sappy, ending music. 

Reality wasn’t so lucky. Just because you were fair and kind to anyone, even in the midst of despair and wrongness, it didn’t mean that miracles happened. In fact, Sehun was certain miracles only happened in a fantasy world, not in the real world. 

He’s so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t hear the doorbell on the first ring, it’s only when there’s an accompanying knock that he breaks out of his thoughts and decides to get up and answer it. He’s too tired and not getting enough sleep only serves to make him grouchy. 

Catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror hanging in the foyer, Sehun grimaces. His black roots are beginning to sprout and mixed with the platinum blond, he feels pretty gross. Ugh, I need to dye it again, he frowns, quickly turning away from the mirror.  

Ever since the latest breakup, he’s been holed up in his apartment and away from the rest of the world. While his friends have tried numerous times to pull him out of his slump, he couldn’t bring himself to actually enjoy anything. Fortunately, Sehun wasn’t like those other heartbroken souls, the ones that dwelled on the past for too long. Nope, not him. 

He’s pushed himself into his studies and work, refusing to let his mind wander. Today was Sunday and because his boss decided he was looking a little drained, he had forced the blond to take the day off, much to Sehun’s dislike. Which is where we are now; Sehun is forced to entertain his memories and he hates it. 

Inhaling deeply, he slowly exhales as he forces a cordial smile onto his face. Here goes something, he inwardly sighs. Tugging the brass knob back, he lifts his eyes, ready to see a familiar face of a neighbour or maybe a friend that just didn’t understand ‘no, I’m busy’. But to Sehun’s utter surprise, wide, brown pools stared back at him, pink lips parted in a small ‘o’, his chest heaving up and down. He must’ve ran in the rain, because his clothes are clinging to his lithe form and his black hair is stuck to his face in all directions. Sehun stares, “Joonmyun?” 

His boyfriend, hold up, ex-boyfriend, manages a small smile even though he’s shaking from the rain. “Hey, how are you?” 

A frown curves Sehun’s lips downwards. Really, ‘how are you’? Tightening his hold on the doorknob, Sehun is refusing to allow the older male in. “Are you insane,” he asks, not even expecting an answer. “It’s been six months!” 

Joonmyun swallows, staring at the blond with eyes that once made his heart beat erratically (they still do). “I was too afraid to tell you what I wanted before,” he begins. Sehun closes his eyes. It’s the same excuse, just like all the previous times. “No,” he whispers, but there’s nothing else to say because he’s not sure what he can force out before he starts crying again. 

1st Time. 

“Babe, do you want ice cream?” Luhan asks, flashing a sweet smile in Sehun’s direction. The latter whips around, eyes bright at the mention of the delicious, frozen sweet. “Yes!” 

He laughs, sliding an arm around Sehun’s waist and pulling him close, lips brushing against fair cheeks. “You’re so cute, do you know that?” 

Oh Sehun blushes, allowing him to guide them down the busy streets, the sun shining high above. “You’re cuter,” he mumbles, hoping he doesn’t hear. But of course, he does. He laughs, eyes sparkling and looking like the Prince Charming Sehun’s always thought he is. 

“Aw, babe, you’re making me blush.” He reaches forward and pinches the blond’s cheeks, grinning at Sehun’s face heating up even more. 

Hello, first love. 

…

Luhan looks at him, guiltily, but still so beautiful under the dancing, neon lights. The music’s too loud and there’s the suffocating smell of sweat and alcohol in the room. He’s sitting on one of those expensive, VIP booths, surrounded by beautiful people in very minimal and sheer clothing. Sehun stares, unable to keep his jaw from dropping, especially at the gorgeous brunet that’s sitting in his boyfriend’s lap and at his throat like a starved kitten. 

Suddenly Sehun feels self-conscious in his own attire. There’s no way he can compete with such a beauty, but didn’t Luhan say he was the one? The most beautiful and perfect one? Sehun’s throat feels dry because Luhan isn’t budging. Spinning on his heels, the blond walks toward the exit, forcing himself to not cry and careful not to slip on the glowing dance floor. 

“Wait, babe, wait,” Luhan’s voice shouts over the blaring music, his fingers closing around his arm and tugging to face him. Sehun can’t. He smells like another’s cologne and there are already hickeys forming. 

“Why,” Sehun decides to ask, because there’s nothing else to say. 

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry,” he pauses, raking a hand through his hair frustratedly. “But I-I couldn’t wait for you. You were away for too long and Minseok just - he just kept persisting and I tried,” he reasons, hoping the other’d understand his position. 

No, Sehun doesn’t.

Shaking his head, he slinks backward, away from him and his sad eyes. “I was only away for two weeks, Han. It’s Christmas. But thanks for the present, I’ve never felt this emotion before.” 

He doesn’t chase him into the freezing, December air. 

Goodbye, first love. 

He’s standing inside the waiting area for the bus, wiping furiously at his eyes. Standing a little to his left is a familiar face, but no name to go by. Sehun knows he’s sniffling and making a scene, but he refuses to care. He just got dumped. At a club. that . 

“Are you alright?” a kind voice asks and Sehun snaps his head up, coming face to face with the guy. He’s a good, few inches shorter, brown bangs framing his face and blinking behind a pair of rimmed glasses. 

Deciding he’s got nothing else to lose, Sehun kicks at a rock. “I got dumped. Anymore questions?” he can’t help but sound snappy and feels apologetic, but he’ll start feeling that tomorrow. 

“Oh,” the man blinks, confused. “Um. Well. I’m Kim Joonmyun.” 

The name clicks in his head and Sehun nods, suddenly remembering why it sounds so familiar. Kim Joonmyun is three years his senior and is the TA in his biology class. He’s also known as the pushover TA the kids in his class make fun of. 

“Nice to meet you,” Sehun bites out, not meaning to sound sour. They stand in silence for a little longer and then Joonmyun fishes into his backpack and pulls out a red er. He stares at it for a moment, before tentatively handing it over to the taller. “I usually keep these for the students that come for extra help. But you look like you needed it,” he kindly smiles, taking Sehun’s freezing fingers and pushing it into his palm. 

“You don’t even know me,” Sehun begins as bus 41 pulls up. Joonmyun smiles warmly at him, adjusting the straps on his shoulders. “Of course, I do. You’re Oh Sehun, the bratty kid that sits in the back with the troublemakers, Kim Jongin and Huang Zitao.” Pulling out a scarf, he hands it to Sehun as well, before he’s stepping past the taller, eyes twinkling under the falling snow. 

“I’ll see you in Wednesday’s lab,” the TA beams, already stepping onto the bus, but waving as the vehicle drives by. Sehun tightens the scarf around his neck, frowning at the candy. Deciding what the hell, he unwraps it and pops it into his mouth. Almost immediately, he gags. “How does he not know everyone hates cherry flavour,” he mumbles around the er, making a face. 

But he finishes it and goes home feeling a little less like . 

End. 

Joonmyun reaches forward, but he never touches him, just lets his fingers linger. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know how to begin,” he babbles, looking torn as he tries to convey some sort of emotion to the blond in the doorway. Sehun stays rooted to the door, ready to slam it in his face. 

“Then don’t,” he finally says, heart pounding loudly, blood rushing in his head. 

Joonmyun’s crestfallen look has him almost crawling back to him, almost. The taller’s learned to steel his heart against such pitiful expressions a long time ago, but his sadness only makes Sehun want to cry harder. 

2nd Time. 

Park Chanyeol is Sehun’s best friend. He’s funny and smart and he’s a big klutz, but the latter loves him for it. After a while, they fall in love and Sehun thinks, finally, Prince Charming is here. Right now, they’re cuddling on his couch, draped around one another and sharing small kisses while having a movie marathon in the background. 

He dips his head down and Sehun meets him halfway, smiling into the kiss when the taller’s hands come up to cup Sehun’s face. “I love you.” It’s the first time anyone has spoken those sacred words to the younger. Staring up into his loving face, eyes serious despite the wide grin on his face. 

“I love you, too.” It sounds foreign and it doesn’t sound right. But the honey blond says it because Sehun doesn’t want to make him feel bad. Chanyeol’s grin only widens some more and he’s pulling the younger back into his arms, running his fingers through his hair. Sehun hums in content, but his mind is racing. What is love? 

…

Sehun might not know what true love is initially, but he knows what heartbreak feels like. After nine months together, he finally comes to realize he does, in fact, love Park Chanyeol. With a skip in his step, the blond rushes to the bus stop and slips inside, heart beating quickly and a smile adorning his lips. 

His boyfriend had texted him to come to his house after class, he had something he wanted to tell Sehun. It is safe to say, the younger was ecstatic. “Me too!” Sehun texts back, eyes shining with happiness as he punches in three emojis with the text. His stop comes slower than he’d like and he’s impatiently tapping slender fingers against his skinny jean-clad thighs, trying to form those special, three words in his mind as he gets ready to finally confess. 

When the doors open, Sehun flies down the steps with a quick ‘thank-you!’ to the driver and starts running, backpack bumping along his back, hair being whipped by the wind. Finally reaching Chanyeol’s place, Sehun starts knocking like crazy, all the while, calling his name at the top of his lungs. “I have something to tell you!” the younger sings, excitement and adrenaline coursing through his veins. 

The door opens after the sixth knock and Sehun can’t contain himself as he barrels his way inside, smiling brightly at Chanyeol’s familiar, handsome face. “I have something—“ but Sehun cuts him off, not even noticing the frown that’s decorating his lips or the dark circles under his eyes. 

“I love you,” Sehun breathes, leaning up on tiptoes and kissing him. It’s only a moment later that the younger man realizes Chaneyol is not responding. Frowning, Sehun slowly draws back, blinking up at him curiously. 

The brunet is frowning at him and placing his hands on Sehun’s thin shoulders, lightly pushes him back, creating space. “I, uh,” Chanyeol his lips. “We need to talk.” Dread twirls its ugly head in Sehun’s guts and he swallows. “Okay.” It comes out a lot weaker than he’d like. 

“Idon’tloveyou.” It’s so quick and garbled that Sehun has to lean forward, frowning at the taller man. “What did you just say?” Chanyeol looks like he’s going to faint, but clears his throat, squaring his shoulders. “I don’t love you. Sehun, I’m so sorry, I thought I knew what love is, but it’s not with you,” his shoulders sag and his frown deepens. “I was trying to get over my first love with you.” 

Sehun doesn’t bother to hear the rest. He tells Chanyeol goodbye and leaves. He tells himself he’s not heartbroken. He doesn’t even know what love is. 

That night, he calls Joonmyun over and they watch the Fast and Furious series again, Sehun quietly crying into tissues and Joonmyun’s comforting arms wrapped around him. He feels his heart mend a little. 

End. 

“Please, Sehun, just let me explain,” Joonmyun begs, the wet hair clinging to his face and droplets sliding down his cheeks. Huh, they look like teardrops, Sehun’s heart whispers, but he makes a face. Teardrops aren’t beautiful, he inwardly scorns. But Kim Joonmyun is, his heart retorts. Oh Sehun bites down on his tongue. 

3rd Time. 

“I love you,” Sehun breathes, unable to hold back his emotions. This time, he means it. Baekhyun’s eyes curve into crescents and he’s laughing that beautiful, scratchy laugh of his. Hovering over the younger man, the brunet slides his slender fingers through Sehun’s bubblegum pink hair (he’s experimenting). 

“I love you, too,” the older man responds, before letting his mouth descend upon the younger’s, gently prying his lips apart and easily pushing his tongue through. Sehun’s heart is doing crazy backflips in his chest and he’s certain Baekhyun can hear how fast it’s beating. But instead of being a teasing, little (like he usually is), Baekhyun only murmurs those three words again, his hand sliding down into his pants and watching the beautiful expression Sehun’s face morphs into at the touch. 

…

“How could you cheat on me?!” Sehun snarls, venom dripping from his words. 

Baekhyun is just as pissed, his face contorted in sheer rage. “I tried not to!” 

Sehun snorts. “Tried not to? What, do you expect me to give you a shiny sticker for effort?” He’s already dumping his clothes into a suitcase, blindly ripping at whatever looks like his. If he leaves anything, he’ll come back another time for it or buy a replacement, he refuses to be anywhere within a ten feet radius of the brunet. After stuffing whatever was left, he wheels the luggage towards the front door, only to have Baekhyun hot on his tail. 

“Just hear me out,” Baekhyun grounds out, frustratedly gripping at his brown hair. 

Spinning around and facing the shorter man, Sehun smirks at the surprised expression. Crossing his arms, he glares down at him. “Fine,” he seethes, patience running thin. 

Before Baekhyun can open his mouth and explain, the front door opens and Park Chanyeol is popping his head around the door, big eyes blinking and mouth pressed into a slight frown. “Did you tell him yet?” 

Sehun gapes. Baekhyun groans and Chanyeol cowers. 

“YOU WERE ING MY EX?!” He snarls, turning so quickly, he can hear a snap somewhere in his body. 

“I DIDN’T KNOW,” Baekhyun defends. 

“How did you not know, you ing ,” Sehun bites out, anger lacing every word. 

“Hey, stop that. Baek’s a lot of things, but he’s not a ,” Chanyeol glares, stepping fully into the tiny apartment now. 

Baekhyun gives the taller a grateful look and Chanyeol returns it with a small smile. Sehun looks between the two and suddenly, everything clicks. 

“Ohmygod,” the younger of the trio mutters. “He’s the one you were in love with.” 

Chanyeol’s face flushes crimson and Baekhyun’s jaw drops open. “Wait, really? It was me this whole time?” 

“Yeah,” Chanyeol rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “I’ve never saw anyone else but you.” 

Sehun rolls his eyes, wheeling his suitcase towards the door. “And they live together happily ever after. Yeah, yeah, you,” he growls, the door slamming shut behind him. 

Later that night, Joonmyun laughs as Sehun’s recounts his story, head slumped on the dining table. “I’m sorry, but wow, how much of a coincidence is that? After a year and you finally know who Chanyeol’s fawning over!” Sehun mumbles something incoherent into his arms and Joonmyun hums, running his fingers through his soft, pink hair. 

“You should change it to brown next. You know, a new start.” Sehun reaches his hand up and presses it over Joonmyun’s, his warmth making Sehun feel a little less miserable. 

“Sure. Whatever,” he mumbles, but he can’t help the way his lips slightly curve upwards at the corners. Joonmyun returns the smile and Sehun feels himself falling. 

End. 

“You don’t get to say anymore,” Sehun hisses, panic swelling his heart. “I trusted you. I gave everything to you - you were supposed to be different!” 

“And I’m sorry I wasn’t,” Joonmyun apologizes. He’s shivering, Sehun notes and he decides he doesn’t want the love of his life to die - ex-love, damn’t. “But I was scared. I didn’t want to hurt you—“ 

“Congratulations, jackass, you did the exact opposite. Jeez. You’re a TA, aren’t you supposed to be smart about these kinds of things,” Sehun bites. Not wanting to hear another word, he pulls the shorter man into his apartment, kicking the door closed. “I can continue to yell at you after you dry up. I want you to be alive still when I slowly kill you.” 

Oh Sehun refuses to acknowledge the small smile tugging at Joonmyun’s lips, eyes twinkling with gratefulness. His heart melts a little. 

Pfft. No, it’s not, he reminds himself, scowling. 

4th time. 

Yixing is the new dance instructor and already, all the girls and boys are falling head over heels in love with the kind, dimpled smiles and gentle eyes. His voice is melodic and he moves so gracefully. But what the boys and girls don’t know is that Zhang Yixing is a beast after practice hours, which is exactly what Sehun knows (firsthand) when his instructor is pressing him into the mirror, fingers digging into his hipbones and marking his collarbones with bites and kisses. 

“Say my name,” Yixing growls hotly into his ear. Sehun swallows, trying to regulate his breathing. “Yixing.” The man smirks and it’s unf. He picks up his pace and Sehun is howling with pleasure as he rams into him relentlessly. “Again,” the (current) brunet gasps, hands flying up to grasp at Yixing’s broad shoulders. Joonmyun was right, brown suits him so well. 

The older man is smirking against his skin, “say my name.” 

Too lost in the pleasure, Sehun squeezes his eyes shut, nails digging into the soft flesh, body jerking in pleasure. But he doesn’t see Yixing’s face, he sees a kind and gentle smile, slowly curving into pleasure as Sehun imagines what it would feel like if it was the other hovering above him. “Joon-xing! Yixing,” he whimpers, heart hammering in his chest. Almost instantly catching himself, he prays that Yixing doesn’t notice. If the older male does, he says nothing of it and they continue to rut until they’re both over the edge. 

It’s only afterwards, when Yixing is cleaning a breathless Sehun with a kind smile that he says something. “You should tell him you love him, you know, before it’s too late.” The brunet flushes, taking the towel and dabbing at his stomach, grimacing at the sticky mess. “We’re just friends.” 

He doesn’t miss the way Yixing is intently looking at him. “Friends can become lovers.” Sehun ignores him, instead opting to wrap his hand around the other’s neck and drawing his lips back down onto his. Yixing kisses him back. 

…

The relationship doesn’t last very long, not that Sehun hasn’t already saw it coming. But it still makes him a little disheartened. Yixing was the perfect boyfriend, the perfect one. The latter dumped him after three months because Sehun was apparently giving out mixed signals. 

Grumpy, he storms into his and Joonmyun’s shared apartment, letting himself slump onto the couch where the former is intently reading a book. “Hey, how was your date,” he wonders, peeking over his book. 

Sehun drapes an arm over his eyes, groaning. “He dumped me. Said I was giving mixed signals or something.” 

Joonmyun doesn’t say anything for a long moment and Sehun sits up, dragging his gaze over to his former TA and current, best friend and roommate. “What, don’t tell me you agree with him.” 

The other brunet shakes his head, pushing his glasses back up on his face. How cute, Sehun finds himself unconsciously thinking. He fights the urge to lean over and just kiss him. 

Sehun’s eyes widen. 

Oh god. No. 

No. 

“I didn’t say that,” Joonmyun whispers, quickly burying his face back into his book, legs tucked neatly under him. Sehun decides to take a cold shower. 

End. 

Joonmyun finishes showering and comes out dressed in Sehun’s spare clothes. The younger discreetly checks him out when Joonmyun isn’t paying attention. He still enjoys the way the older boy fits into his clothes, so snug and cute. 

“Can we talk now?” Joonmyun wonders, voice soft as he looks down at the scowling younger, arms crossed and pretending to be reading a biology textbook. 

“Let me finish this paragraph first,” Sehun snips, hoping to appear nonchalant. He hears a snort and looks up in time to see Joonmyun smiling amusedly. “It would help if you weren’t reading upside down, hm?” 

Sehun flushes a pretty scarlet when Joonmyun takes the book from his hands and flips it the right side up, smiling as he hands it back. 

5th time. 

Kris Wu can be easily described in two words: hot and foreign. A hot foreigner. He’s in Sehun’s literature class and while he’s a few years his senior, they get along well after they’re paired for a class project (Sehun is doing a little dance in his head). 

“I’m only doing this course for extra credit,” the blond smiles, pencil twirling in his longer, slender figures, a bored expression on his handsome face. 

“I have to take this to pass,” Sehun sulks, typing away on his laptop. 

Kris’ lips twitch upwards into a slight smile, eyes curving over Sehun’s face and his multicoloured hair before resting on his lips. “Well, I guess we got a pretty good deal then, huh?” 

The latter stops typing, slowly turning to see Kris smirking at him, a suggestive quirk to his lips. 

Sehun hums happily when Kris presses him against a bookshelf in the restricted section, teeth tugging on his bottom lip, fingers gripping at strands of yellow and orange hair. 

…

“If you like him, tell him,” Do Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, trying to ignore Sehun’s heartfelt rambles about being caught between the hot foreigner and his cute roommate. 

Kyungsoo is Joonmyun’s best friend initially, but Joonmyun likes to bother the shorter and eventually, Sehun is introduced to him and while Kyungsoo’s small and squishy looking, he actually possesses all the traits of a boxer. Sehun finds this out when he starts making fun of Kyungsoo for liking Jongin and the former elbows him in the sides so hard, Sehun cries a little and sees a black bruise forming the next day. After that, he offers to help Kyungsoo in his quest to Jongin’s heart (it’s really not that hard, Sehun thinks. Jongin is already smitten with the tiny being filled with satanic blood). 

“I don’t like him,” Sehun states, looking scandalized. 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah. Sure. And I don’t love Jongin.” 

Sehun makes a face. “That’s pretty gross. I didn’t need to hear that. Oh, hold up,” he stops walking, his eyes glued to his phone. Suddenly, he starts laughing and Kyungsoo is curious, so he peeks over the taller’s shoulder. “Who is it?” 

“Joonmyun. He sent me a hilarious picture,” Sehun laughs, turning his phone around to show Kyungsoo. The latter frowns at the picture. It’s a selfie of Joonmyun with a poorly drawn mustache on his face, grinning like a creep. The shorter man shivers. He needs to burn that image from his mind. 

“Oh god, he’s precious,” Sehun mumbles, walking again, eyes still glued to his phone. 

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You’re in so deep, even you can’t see it.” 

“What did you say?” 

The shorter snorts, “nothing.” 

Sehun shrugs and goes back to texting Joonmyun, a smile permanently etched onto his face. 

Four months later, Kris Wu graduates from the course and is relocated to his new job in New York, USA. The couple, if you can call them that, embrace one last time and promise to text everyday. A week later, there are still no texts or even a phone call and when Kyungsoo and Jongin asks if he’s okay, Sehun rolls his eyes and shrugs with a nonchalant ‘I saw it coming from miles away’; but that night Sehun cries into Joonmyun’s shirt and the latter silently comforts him by rubbing, soothing circles along his back. 

End. 

“I really like you, Sehun. I just, I was worried you didn’t like me,” Joonmyun tries to explain, the two seated on the couch, side by side and thighs touching, but no other physical contact being made. 

“Yeah. Well. I liked you, too.” The younger responds curtly. 

Joonmyun deflates, “that’s past tense.” 

Sehun crosses his arms. “So are we.” Standing up, he makes his way to their his shared bedroom, closing the door behind him and pressing his back to it. He takes in a shaky breath, hands shaking and lets his head fall back, lightly thumping against the wooden door. He closes his eyes and drapes an arm over his face. Don’t cry, he tells himself, but his shoulders begin to shake and his tough facade crumbles once more. 

6th Time. 

Sehun meets Kim Jongdae at a rock concert. Chanyeol drags him out along with Baekhyun and Sehun isn’t really sure when the trio became friends. Or if they were even friends. 

He only knows that one day, he’s grading papers as his new TA position in the Literature department, when a fluff of brown hair and puppy-like features sticks their face into his and obscures his view. To say the least, Sehun is entirely taken aback by Baekhyun’s grinning face, eyes crinkling and bright smile.  

“Howdy!” he greets. 

Byun Baekhyun hasn’t changed much over the year they’ve been apart and Sehun tries his best to put on his signature, face (Kris taught him well), but it comes off like he’s constipated because he’s quite surprised to see the latter. 

“What do you want?” Sehun opts to say, putting some extra poison in his tone. Baekhyun laughs and wraps an arm around his neck, pulling him close like their suddenly, long-lost BFFs and not once lovers that cared too much and broke too easily. 

“Stop pouting, your face will stay that way,” Baekhyun teases. 

Sehun frowns and picks up his papers, stuffing them back into his backpack and deciding to go somewhere less annoying. 

Baekhyun, sensing his quick movements, catches his arm and pulls him back. This turns into a mini-wrestling match, but Baekhyun wins (“9 years of hapkido, baby!”), and Sehun gives him two minutes to state his business or else he’s screaming for campus security. 

“Yeol and I are going to a rock concert this weekend, come with?” Baekhyun asks, hopeful. 

Sehun glares. “What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?” 

Baekhyun’s smile falters and suddenly, he looks less like the diva everyone knows him to be and more like a sheepish boy. “Sehun, I,” he pauses. “I messed up. Chanyeol and I, we both did. And we’re really sorry we hurt you like that. I was screwed up and I-I want to make it up to you. Please?” 

Sehun rakes a hand through his red hair, trying to remain angry, but he’s not and his resolve crumbles bit by bit. He’s angry, yes, but he’s always had a soft spot for the brunet in front of him. Despite all the pain, he can’t bring himself to hate him and remain angry. Maybe it’s because his heart has already forgiven and moved on? Shut it, his mind hisses at his heart. 

“…Alright. But this is your last chance,” Sehun mumbles. 

Baekhyun grins. “You won’t regret it!” 

And this is how he meets Kim Jongdae. The latter was performing with his band as the opening act and right afterwards, comes to greet Chanyeol and Baekhyun, dressed in tight, black pants and a matching leather jacket, eyes lined with kohl. He is still glistening with a light sheen of sweat and his smile is infectious, which makes Sehun do a double take when said man is offering to buy him a drink. 

Sehun glances at his exes friends and gets an encouraging smile. Ah. So this is why they dragged him out, trying to help mend his heart after a nasty breakup. Not even angry, in fact, ecstatic, Sehun agrees and lets Jongdae take his hand and lead him through the masses of bodies and partygoers, allowing him to open his heart once more. 

He wants to hesitate, but Jongdae flashes him that warm smile and bats his lashes charmingly and Sehun’s hooked. Okay. Let’s give this one more try, he tells himself. 

… 

Jongdae s him like he loves him and owns him. It’s amazing. But there’s one tiny problem. Jongdae doesn’t love him. In fact, Jongdae works strictly on a no-strings-attached relationship, which means in cruder terms, and go. 

Sehun finds this out the hard way when Jongdae finally picks up his phone call after two weeks of incessant calling and voicemails. 

Joonmyun is not around to comfort him because the duo have fought. Well, Joonmyun was acting like a know-it-all about Jongdae and Sehun was too annoyed to deal with it, so push came to shove and now they’re not on speaking terms. 

“I thought it was just a onetime thing,” the rocker states, voice hesitant as he explains his relationships over the phone. 

Sehun drops the mug he’s holding and curses under his breath. “Baek told me you were interested,” Sehun states, not knowing what else to say. . That was his favourite mug, too. 

“Oh, jeez, I didn’t know. But Baekhyun doesn’t know about my er, status, either, so…” 

They stay in silence for a full, good two minutes before there’s anther voice filtering on the other end. It sounds like Baekhyun and he sounds pissed. 

“The , Jongdae?! You could’ve told me ahead of time,” the shorter snaps and Sehun bites back a small smile when he hears Jongdae howl in pain. 

“You never asked me! I thought he was just like the rest,” he defends, the phone dropping from his hand when Baekhyun grabs a handful of his hair and yanks him down. Baekhyun is a dirty fighter at heart and even if Sehun can’t see it, he can hear how painful it is for Jongdae and feels just the tiniest amount of guilt. 

“Baekhyun,” Sehun begins. Nothing. “Baekhyun!” He calls his name another three times before the phone is picked back up and while Jongdae is whimpering in pain, Baekhyun is all smiles when he answers. 

“Hey Sehun!” he greets, though he sounds a little breathless. “I’m sorry about Jongdae. I thought-“ 

“No. It’s fine. We,” Sehun his dry lips. “He already told me ahead of time. I guess I wanted to keep trying, but I knew the end result.” It’s a lie, but he doesn’t want Baekhyun to be a murderer and Jongdae’s dreams of being a singer are admirable, even if his personality is a little ty. 

It’s quiet on the other end for a moment before Jongdae suddenly speaks up, Sehun’s name rolling off his tongue so sinfully delightful, but Sehun tells them that he’s got papers to grade and no time to chitchat and he thanks Jongdae for a good time. Baekhyun tries to interrupt. 

“Thanks, Baek. I’ll see you and Chanyeol for lunch this Sunday, yeah? Gotta go, bye!” Sehun hangs up and stares forlornly at the broken shards. “Just like my heart,” he mutters under his breath, sighing. Bending down, he starts to pick up the broken pieces, not hearing the front door open. 

“,” he curses, feeling a prick of pain when he cuts his finger on a shard. He stares at his forefinger, the cut isn’t deep, but it’s oozing blood and he frowns. 

“Oh my god!” Joonmyun’s horrified voice sounds from behind him and Sehun turns his face to see his crush friend staring in shock. “Are you okay?!” Their fight is forgotten as the (current) ravenet approaches him, quickly tugging him to his feet and dragging him towards the sink. “Okay, we’re going to disinfect this first and then I’ll bandage it,” Joonmyun rambles, worry etched into his handsome features. 

Sehun stares at him, feeling empty and hollow. But his heart continues to beat, so he’s not dead, but he feels like it. 

Joonmyun stays true to his words and fixes him up and it’s only when the older is wrapping the bandaid around his finger that he realizes Sehun is crying. The redhead has his head hung, but he can see wet droplets splashing on his sweats and Joonmyun’s heart cries for him. 

“Oh, Sehun…” 

“Why am I so stupid? You’d think I would be smarter after the second time,” he mumbles, his voice scratchy and unable to keep the tears from pouring. 

“You’re not stupid, you’re…” Joonmyun bites his lip, his fingers still warm and wrapped around the taller’s hand. “You’re optimistic. And that’s a beautiful trait to have.” 

Beautiful. Sehun slowly looks up through his fringe and sees Joonmyun’s kind, gentle gaze. He’s so sweet. 

“God, hyung, why don’t you just love me back already?” Sehun blurts out, not meaning to. His eyes widen a moment later, surprise sketched onto his face and Joonmyun is staring with a very similar look. “No, that’s not - that’s not what I,” Sehun rambles, unable to stop the flow of words that keep spilling from his lips. 

Oh god. . . . 

He screwed up. Why did he have to go and say something stupid like that? He decides it’s time to go and pack up and move out because he’s screwed up the only good thing in his life. Jongin will probably let him room for a few days, but Sehun grimaces at thinking about hearing his friend and Kyungsoo go at it every night. Standing up, he turns to leave, but suddenly, another body is on his and fingers are gently touching his face. 

Sehun stares speechless and catches Joonmyun’s warm smile before suddenly, he’s kissing him. His heart beats so loudly and erratically, Sehun knows his crush can hear it. But Joonmyun only proceeds to pull him closer, wrapping his arms around the taller’s neck, lips moving wonderfully against his and Sehun thinks ‘ it’ before he tugs the shorter closer, hands on his waist as he kisses back. Warmth floods through every part of his body, his head light. 

Joonmyun pulls back just a little, pressing their foreheads together, breaths mingling. “In my defence, you never asked me,” Joonmyun grins cheekily, eyes sparkling. 

Sehun finds his voice and it comes out as a laugh. “Well, I like you. A lot.” 

Joonmyun hums. “Good. Because I like you, too. A lot.” 

The rest is left unsaid because Sehun leans down to kiss him and it’s safe to say, they meet halfway. 

Lucky number seven, right? 

End. 

Sehun is too lost in his own thoughts that he doesn’t hear the door to his bedroom opening. Joonmyun stands there, looking so small in his oversized sweater and hair still damp.  

“Sehun,” the older murmurs and then he’s crossing the room, coming to stop in front of Sehun and tilting his chin upwards, eyes filled with worry and so much love. Sehun feels his heart skip a beat, hands coming up subconsciously and gripping at the other’s sleeves, tugging him closer. 

“I love you,” Joonmyun whispers, voice firm. “I want you, for worse or for better. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this earlier. I was scared, I didn’t know - but I do now. I couldn’t go a day without thinking about you - you are all that’s ever on my mind.” 

Sehun doesn’t speak, just gazes up at him through long lashes clung with tears. 

“When I first saw you in my biology class, I found you so… beautiful. And then that night at the bus stop, it must’ve been some sort of fate, right?” Joonmyun leans closer, one leg coming up to rest next to Sehun’s thigh, the other sliding between the younger’s legs. Sehun swallows. 

7th Time. 

Oh Sehun has never felt happier in his entire life. 

Kim Joonmyun is the most perfect human being in the entire world. He’s caring, funny, gentle and witty and he’s sweet. And Sehun is in love. He doesn’t tell him this right away, he keeps it to himself, but he can’t help smiling whenever the other turns and catches his gaze or whenever he reaches over and entwines their fingers together or when they map out each other at night, basked in the moon’s glow. Or the morning kisses, sweet and playful and there’s the occasional tickle fight, too. 

Sehun wants Joonmyun for this lifetime and for each one afterwards, but he’s not sure if Joonmyun feels the same and that’s what scares him. 

… 

When Sehun finally tells his boyfriend those three, simple, yet powerful words: I love you, he expects a quick ‘me too’. 

But he doesn’t. 

Joonmyun just stares at him, eyes wide and then there’s silence. Sehun realizes it’s rejection. 

Oh no. Why? Why Joonmyun? 

Joonmyun pulls away and Sehun watches with silent eyes as he leaves their shared apartment, never once turning back. 

Kim Joonmyun was the one to pick up all the pieces of his heart and glued it back together, but now, what happens when he’s the one that breaks it? Who glues the fragile pieces back together again? 

Sehun cries over the pictures of the two of them, smiling cutely and there’s even a picture of Joonmyun kissing his cheek and it hurts. Oh, it hurts so much. Sehun decides to wait, but one month passes, two, three… by the fourth, Sehun gives up. He doesn’t touch Joonmyun’s things and opts to sleep on the couch for a little longer. 

The current brunet doesn’t want to see anything that reminds him of a handsome TA, eyes sparkling and lips always formed into a sweet smile. 

No. He doesn’t want to remember about his lucky seven breaking his heart. 

And that’s how it works. 

That’s how you lost the boy. 

End. 

“I was scared,” Joonmyun explains, hands shaking. “I knew I loved you from the first time I laid eyes on you - but I didn’t want to acknowledge that. I was scared of losing you… afraid of being in too deep. But after these six months, you are the only person I love. I - please, Sehun, I don’t want to lose you again.” 

Sehun doesn’t move, doesn’t respond, his hands resting on the blankets, expression neutral. But his heart is hammering in his chest and he wants nothing more than to tell Joonmyun to shut up and just kiss him already. 

“I must’ve been crazy to think letting you go was the best choice for the both of us.” Joonmyun smiles lovingly, fingers running through Sehun’s soft hair. “But I promise you this, even if you don’t take me back, I will wait forever and ever for you. I know I broke your heart, but I swear, I’ll put it back together - no matter how long it takes.” 

His breath hitches and Sehun feels like everything falls into place now. Joonmyun was scared and so was he. Sehun just hid it better. But when Joonmyun tells him he’ll wait and sees the proof in those mocha eyes, Sehun knows he’ll wait forever and ever for Joonmyun too, even if he was away for more than six months. 

Sehun will never give up on his loveable roommate, no, he’s in too deep now. 

And by the look in Joonmyun’s eyes, he’s not alone. 

“I love you. A lot,” Sehun whispers, surprised by how steady his voice sounds. 

Joonmyun smiles and Sehun sees the unshed tears clinging to the older man’s lashes. “Good. Because I love you. A lot.” 

Joonmyun tilts his head down and Sehun meets him halfway, enjoying the way the older’s lips feel against his own, a jolt coursing from his lips down to the tips of his fingers. Their kiss becomes a little less innocent and more heated, Joonmyun hovering over him as Sehun’s back meets their mattress. He smiles into the kiss, curling fingers into soft hair and Joonmyun’s appreciative mewing sounds are all Sehun needs to know that he’s home again. 

They pull apart, foreheads pressed lightly together. Sehun smiles and Joonmyun’s laughing softly, eyes crinkling and he’s beautiful. They share a look and then, Joonmyun dips his head, Sehun wordlessly understanding and meeting him halfway. 

In the back of his mind, he decides to let his black hair grow. He needs a fresh start anyways. 

And that’s how it works, 

That’s how you got the boy. 

Fin.