Hazel eyes and chocolate skin. Kyungsoo watched as Jongin entered the class. Kim Jongin was the definition of perfect for Kyungsoo. Sun kissed skin. A well-built body which a slim-fit tee is hugging perfectly right now. Kyungsoo sighed at the perfection in front of his eyes. Jongin took his usual seat beside Taemin, his best friend. Meanwhile, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate.

‘Babe, why aren’t you replying? I thought you loved me.’

It was an unknown number for Kyungsoo had deleted the contact last night. Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo put back the phone into his bag. Love? Kyungsoo mentally scoffed. Kyungsoo marked Lim Hyunsik, someone who he ‘loved’ as a fragment of the past. Kyungsoo’s phone vibrated pathetically and Chanyeol, his best friend, asked,

“Who is the unlucky guy this time?”

“What do you mean by ‘this time’?”

“It’s not the first time your phone has vibrated like this without you checking it and let me ask. Whose number you deleted last night?”

“Lim Hyunsik.”

“The poor guy asked to meet you outside?”

Kyungsoo smiled as an answer and Chanyeol shook his head. Kyungsoo wasn’t a playboy. He just thought that what’s in texts should stay in texts and not meddle with his actual life. Chanyeol wondered how he would even find love with that attitude. But then, Kyungsoo had proved him wrong with the forlorn expression on his face whenever Kim Jongin is in sight.

Kim Jongin.

Kim Jongin wasn’t the perfect student, considering he failed every single subject apart from sports. Kim Jongin wasn’t kind, judging by the cold stare he gives to strangers. Kim Jongin wasn’t charismatic, knowing how he would stutter when asked to speak in public. Chanyeol had asked what Kyungsoo saw in him and Kyungsoo had replied,

“You don’t see him the same way I do.”

Chanyeol’s thoughts were cut off when the teacher came into the classroom with a student trailing behind. Must be a new student, thought Chanyeol. The teacher motioned the student to step forward and the class fell silent as soon as he did.

Kyungsoo’s eyes fell on the new student. He had a pale complexion almost matching that of Kyungsoo and eyes so cold that Kyungsoo felt intimidated. He parted his thin lips to let the words fall out,

“Oh Sehun.”

Kyungsoo noticed the negligible lisp; he had always been the one to notice details about a person. Sehun took his seat in front of Kyungsoo, beside Luhan and turned around just for his and Kyungsoo’s eyes to meet in a silent encounter.

Cold. The only word Kyungsoo would describe the feeling as. Chills went down his spine the moment their eyes met. Kyungsoo turned away his gaze at the unfamiliar feeling. Sehun’s gaze on Kyungsoo lingered a bit longer before he turned to the front.

It was frightening.

Kyungsoo could normally see emotions flickering in one’s eyes but his… Sehun’s were void of emotions. Or maybe he was just unable to read it.

Things were about to get interesting.

As the first period took place, Chanyeol frowned at how quiet Kyungsoo was being. This either meant he was sad or he was planning something. Chanyeol nudged Kyungsoo and asked,

“Are you okay?”

“Perfectly okay,” Kyungsoo replied with a malicious smirk on his face. Chanyeol raised his eyebrows, knowing that some sort of a plan had already formed on Kyungsoo’s mind. He wasn’t surprised when Kyungsoo went to talk to the new student at the end of the period except for the fact that Kyungsoo had never texted with someone from class.

“Oh Sehun?”

“Yes.”

“Pleasure to meet you. I’m Do Kyungsoo.”

Sehun raised his eyebrows as he took Kyungsoo’s outstretched hand in his for a handshake. Kyungsoo wasn’t handsome. He was even petite but his wide owl-like eyes shone and his smile was curved into a beautiful heart-shape. Sehun took in his features and his name, Do Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo asked,

“May I know your number?”

Sehun had no option but to hand over his phone to Kyungsoo to enter his number.

 

 

-

 

 

‘I guess I’ll be late today.’

‘’M already at sch.’

It had been a week since they fell into this comfortable routine of texting each other.  Kyungsoo put back his phone into his bag after the short text he sent and went back to observing Kim Jongin.

Of course, Kim Jongin.

Kyungsoo could vividly remember the day he first met Jongin. He was running in a rush to the restroom when he tripped and fell in front of Jongin. Jongin had helped him up like those prince charming from a fairy tale, chuckling.

“Well, Kyungsoo. Aren’t you too much in a hurry?”

“I-uh. I was-“Kyungsoo stuttered like a high school girl meeting her crush and mentally smacked himself for the embarrassment he felt. Jongin simply smiled and poked his cheek before leaving,

“Take care.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the memory. It was the first time he felt this overwhelmed. A swarm of butterflies messed up his stomach and his heart beat erratically, as if it was hoping to escape from the ribcage it was caged in. All from a simple smile that Jongin directed to him and the feeling was as if it was from yesterday but it had been two years.

Two years.

“Well. Spacing out, I see. That’s why you trip over often?”

Kyungsoo was snapped out of his thoughts by a deep, raspy voice and he looked up to find Kim Jongin towering over him with that same smile he fell in love with a few years ago. Kyungsoo stuttered,

“Um. Well. I was just thinking.”

“Uh huh. Thinking what?”

You. Kyungsoo mentally answered but he couldn’t say that out of course. Kyungsoo decided to settle with a “nothing.” Jongin smiled, rather sadly,

“You don’t wanna tell me?”

“No! It’s just..”

“Private?”

“Uhm. Yeah. Private.”

“Okay. I was just wondering if I could get closer than you but that seems like an outright rejection.”

“…Uh.”

“Bye, see you around.”

“No!”

Kyungsoo somewhat yelled and Jongin turned back with a smug smirk on his face. Kyungsoo was sure he was blushing like a tomato by now.

“Um. I’d like to get to know you too?”

Jongin smiled and Kyungsoo felt like he was falling in love all over again.

 

 

-

 

 

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

Kyungsoo relaxed on his bed as he started a conversation with Sehun. Two weeks and nothing. Kyungsoo was surprised by how the conversation was still rather cold like the one he was talking to. Sehun was mysterious – a puzzle Kyungsoo wanted to solve. A problem. A game. An experiment. The difficulty level was the highest right now.

‘Don’t you think that physics is really boring? I can hardly stay awake.’

‘Yes.’

‘What do you think?’

‘Same as you.’

‘Where were you during chemistry?’

‘Rooftop.’

‘And what were you doing?’

‘Just chilling.’

‘What are you doing now?’

‘Nothing much.’

‘What’s that nothing much? Come on. I’m curious.’

‘This and that.’

Kyungsoo frowned at the way the conversation was going downhill. To be honest, it wasn’t the first time Kyungsoo had tried to approach such ‘cold guys’ but Kyungsoo must admit that Sehun was rather different from others. He wasn’t predictable. In fact, Kyungsoo felt as if he was being predicted by Sehun and knew that he hasn’t got the upper hand in this game.

This game of winning someone’s heart.

‘Sehun. Are you even single?’

‘I am.’

‘Thought so.’

‘?’

‘The way you talk just pushes people away.’

‘People like you?’

‘Well, excluding me because I’m an angel and I’m persistent.’

Sehun smiled at the text he received. An angel? Sure. It wasn’t as if Sehun had never had a crush before but Kyungsoo was different. They did not talk frequently outside but he acted like a close friend in text and Sehun had never been more perplexed by the behavior.

Perplexed but attracted to.

When Kyungsoo had asked his number, Sehun was simply ‘ok. Let’s talk’ with a neutral attitude with a thought that Kyungsoo’s determination to talk to him wouldn’t last longer than a week but clearly, he was proven wrong. Sehun scrolled back to find numerous conversations which had taken place in the past two weeks to find his half-hearted one word replies and Kyungsoo’s enthusiastic long texts with emoticons.

Was he too harsh?

Sehun typed out a reply, ‘An angel? Really?’

‘Yeppp. An angel. ^^ Don’t you think?’

‘Maybe.’

‘Awwn. Don’t I get a ‘yes’? I’ve been putting up with your one word replies for this long. L’

‘Ok.’

‘Ok what?’

‘Angel.’

‘What angel?’

‘You’re an angel.’

Kyungsoo smiled in satisfaction at the four words as a warm feeling settled over his mind. Just as when Kyungsoo was going to type out a reply, a call from an unknown number flashed upon Kyungsoo’s screen.

What? Who was this?

Kyungsoo frowned, trying hard to remember the numerous contacts he had deleted before. It was quite sure that he had never seen this number before. But what if it was one of his ‘friends’ from before? In the few seconds of Kyungsoo’s contemplation, the call ended and Kyungsoo sighed in relief.

‘That’s so sweet of you. I’m glad you transferred to our school,’ Kyungsoo replied, not caring about the anonymous phone call from earlier.

‘I’m glad too.’

‘Why?’

‘I wouldn’t have met you if I never transferred.’

Kyungsoo’s heart stopped at that very moment and his lips curved into a sincere heart-shaped smile. A warm relief washed over him as he stared at the screen while smiling.

 

-

 

 

“Great game yesterday.”

“Only because you came and watched.” Jongin winked and Kyungsoo laughed while punching on Jongin’s shoulder playfully. It was amazing how they grew close amazingly fast. It was more amazing how Kyungsoo still felt like he was falling in love all over again whenever he was with Jongin. Jongin spoke,

“Oh and you didn’t pick my call the other day.”

“Your call? Sorry, I didn’t recognise-“ Kyungsoo paused as he thought of the unknown phone number from which he received a call the other day. 

“Oh. Ohh. That was you?”

“Yeah. You don’t have my number?”

“Sorry, I don’t.”

“Don’t be. You don’t seem like one to text or call people anyway.”

Kyungsoo stayed silent, guilty of Jongin’s statement. He wasn’t one to call. Just text. It was like an innate hobby – addictive and irresistible. But. But Kyungsoo hadn’t texted anyone else after Sehun.

Sehun. It was strange. The way he anticipated Sehun starting a conversation. Kyungsoo was always the one to start a conversation. The one to keep up the conversation no matter how short Sehun’s replies were.

Normally, Kyungsoo would have been fed up by the behavior but strange enough, Kyungsoo felt even more attracted to the cold shoulder Sehun has been giving him. It was certainly new for Kyungsoo and he felt this strange thrill as he tried to elicit a reply with underlying emotions from Sehun. He has to say that he has not quite been successful yet but persistence would get him somewhere, Kyungsoo believed.

“Kyungsoo?”

“Uh.”

Kyungsoo stopped spacing out as Jongin placed a hand on his shoulder. Kyungsoo stared at Jongin who had an amused smile on his face.

“Spacing out as usual, I see.”

“Sorry.”

“Am I that boring for you to be spacing out even while being with me?”

“NO!”

“But you don’t seem like it. Don’t you like my presence? I mean I could-“

“No. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“So… you like my presence?”

Kyungsoo looked up at Jongin – the Adonis of the century, Kyungsoo thought. He was perfect. Kyungsoo smiled and blushed as he replied,

“I do.”

They continued walking to their class together. Their hands brushed against each other but neither of them pulled away, holding a silent promise – one day these hands would be intertwined. Just then, Kyungsoo felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

‘Why aren’t you in class yet? You always used to be early?’

Kyungsoo halted his steps as he stared at the sender’s name.

Oh Sehun.

Sehun.

Sehun.

Kyungsoo let a wide smile on his face as his heart warmed with happiness. He let out a laugh.

Meanwhile, Jongin watches Kyungsoo smile. He had not seen Kyungsoo smile that widely because of him or being this happy. Edging in jealousy, Jongin wondered who the sender of the message was to make Kyungsoo so happy. Will his text make Kyungsoo that happy?

Kyungsoo stared at the text.

He actually cares.

He actually cares whether he’s at school or not.

He actually notices his presence.

He actually-

Damn.

Kyungsoo thinks that he could cry from the emotions swelling up in his heart. Jongin looked at Kyungsoo who seemed overwhelmed. Jongin placed a hand on Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“Hey?”

Kyungsoo jolted up in surprise and looked at Jongin wide-eyed. Jongin almost chuckled at the cute expression before remembering why Kyungsoo spaced out in the first place.

“Is the sender of the text the reason you’re spacing out so much?”

“What?”

Kyungsoo exclaimed because the accusation was so stupid. Why would he think of Sehun when he had Jongin by his side? It was just ridiculous. No.

“No,” Kyungsoo replied.

A tiny part of him may or may not have noticed that it was a blatant lie. Jongin raised his eyebrows. Kyungsoo blurted out,

“Come on. He’s not you. Why would I be spacing out for him?”

“Does it mean that you think of me?”

Kyungsoo halted in his steps and bit his tongue for blurting such information out. Jongin had a smug smirk on his face and Kyungsoo answered, with a blush sporting on his cheeks,

“Maybe.”

Their eyes met and Kyungsoo thinks he have hope to get together with his two-year-long crush. Kyungsoo broke off the eye contact and walked into the room first, walking to his usual seat beside Chanyeol. Wait. Why doesn’t he see Sehun? He thought he was already in class? Kyungsoo unconsciously pouted as his eyes scanned the classroom. Chanyeol shook his head,

“What the hell are you doing?”

Kyungsoo frowned and slapped Chanyeol’s arm as he sat down.

“Is that how you greet a friend? And I’m not doing anything.”

“Lie to others, not me. Why did you come to class with Kim Jongin?”

“We met at the gate.”

“Why were you at the football match last Friday, cheering Kim Jongin?”

“He invited.”

“And when did you guys get that close?”

“Well. He approached me.”

“Do you love him?”

Kyungsoo looked at Chanyeol as if he was the stupidest person in this whole world before exclaiming,

“Duh. I loved him for two years. Obviously. I love him.”

“Then, why are you looking for Oh Sehun when you came into the classroom?”

Kyungsoo averted his gaze from previously staring into Chanyeol’s eyes. He somewhat muttered,

 “I thought he was already in class.”

“Excuses.”

“What? Why would I give an excuse?”

“Then, tell me why you are texting Sehun every day almost every time. And you always starting a conversation at that. Do Kyungsoo does not starts a conversation every single time.”

“Just curious.”

“Really? That’s your reason?”

“Look Chanyeol, I know what you are driving at. But if what I had with Sehun was love, it would just be a game of winning someone’s heart or an experiment to know how far I can go without falling in love.”

“Attention, class!”

The teacher’s voice boomed over the class and the two friends turned to the front while a student left from the back door of the classroom.

Chanyeol quietly wrote a note and passed towards Kyungsoo.

“Are you sure you’re winning the game?”

Kyungsoo pretended not to see the note and Chanyeol didn’t push any further.

 

 

-

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Sehun lay on the floor of the rooftop of the school as he ditched class. He closed his eyes as the voice replayed in his ears.

“…if what I had with Sehun was love, it would just be a game of winning someone’s heart or an experiment to know how far I can go without falling in love.”

Coming back from the toilet and hearing that wasn’t pleasing at all, Sehun thought. The worst thing? He’s not even angry at Kyungsoo. He’s just worried when that game or experiment will end. Sehun let out a laugh at how pathetic his life is.  

It wasn’t raining but his cheeks felt wet.

 

 

-

 

 

‘How was your day?’

‘Fine.’

‘Just fine? Elaborate.’

‘Just fine.’

Kyungsoo frowned at the reply Sehun sent him. He thought they got pretty much close and what was this attitude Sehun was giving him? Kyungsoo typed out,

‘Are you okay? You sound mad.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Huh?’

‘I’m not mad.’ I’m not okay either.

Sehun sighed for the umpteenth time as he stared at his phone screen. He sadly smiled at how pathetic he was. He actually felt happy that Kyungsoo was still talking to him. Sehun closed his eyes and swallowed the lump in his throat which wouldn’t go away. He clamped his eyes shut and willed the tears to go away because this wasn’t worth crying for. But on second thoughts, Kyungsoo was worth it. Kyungsoo was worth everything even if that meant for his heart to be torn.

‘Then, why are you speaking like that? You don’t want to talk to me anymore? L’

‘Of course I want to talk with my angel.’

Kyungsoo stared at Sehun’s reply for a whole minute before squealing at the top of his voice and diving into the sheets. He probably acted like a teenage girl finally getting her crush’s attention but he could care less at the moment. Did Sehun just call him an angel? Oh my god. He could die happily now.

‘Your angel?’

Sehun stared at the reply. Well, let’s just risk everything.

‘Yeah. Mine. Don’t you want to be?’

‘Depends. In which sense?’

‘A psychopathic sense.’

‘Enlighten me on that.’

‘I want to see you all the time and have you for myself and no one else.’

Kyungsoo froze at the message. Did Sehun just ask him out? What? His heartbeat rose as he stared at the message intently. Did he just – the phone vibrated and interrupted Kyungsoo’s thoughts.

‘But you like Kim Jongin, don’t you?’

No, his heart screamed but Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to type back a reply.

 

 

-

 

 

‘I like you.’

‘What?’

Breathless, Kyungsoo asked what Jongin just had said. Jongin stood in front of him, as handsome as when they first met. Kyungsoo felt tears welling up in his eyes as he stared at Jongin, jaw dropped. Jongin wetted his lips and chuckled awkwardly in embarrassment before repeating,

‘Um. I like you, Kyungsoo. More than as a friend.’

‘Uh.’

‘Is that uh a good uh or a bad uh?’

Kyungsoo couldn’t bring himself to answer. Jongin smiled, and Kyungsoo thinks he knows why he fell in love in the beginning. The only question he had on his mind was: ‘Is this love?’

Is this tingly feeling he feels love? Is this thought of wanting to embrace Jongin there and then and maybe shower him in kisses love? Is this pride swelling in his chest love?

What is love anyway?

Kyungsoo catches a glimpse of Sehun standing at the far back, his cold eyes fixed on Kyungsoo’s very own.

His eyes were still cold, just like when they first met.

However, they were not void of emotions. Kyungsoo was wrong. Sehun’s eyes were never void of emotions. They had emotions too intense and mixed up such an intricate way that Kyungsoo couldn’t read it.

Maybe he couldn’t read the emotions in Sehun’s eyes but he could feel one emotion called love.

And maybe – just maybe – Kyungsoo knows what love is.

Love is hard to define but Kyungsoo knows that he doesn’t want to see hurt in Sehun’s eyes and that was the thought which counted at the moment.

Kyungsoo turned to Jongin who was still standing there and spoke,

‘I’m sorry, Jongin.’

 

 

-

 

 

 

Kyungsoo sat in his usual seat beside Chanyeol, unusually quiet. Chanyeol nudged Kyungsoo,

‘Sup? You okay?’

‘He said it.’

‘What?’

‘Jongin. Jongin said he likes me.’

Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo who looked nowhere near happy.

‘Are you not happy about it?’

‘I am. I am supposed to be happy.’

‘What did you reply?’

‘I rejected him.’

‘What?’

Chanyeol stared at Kyungsoo in disbelief. Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo who had a crush on Jongin for two whole years gave Jongin up.

‘Why did you-‘

Chanyeol noticed Kyungsoo spacing out and followed his direction of gaze to find Sehun’s empty chair. Kyungsoo stood up and announced to Chanyeol,

‘I got to go.’

‘Kyungsoo-yah.’

Kyungsoo turned around to see Chanyeol with an encouraging smile. Chanyeol said,

‘Don’t let him go, Kyungsoo-yah.’

‘Huh? I have no idea what you are talking about – ‘

‘Don’t let Sehun go.’

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had a minute of staring down before Kyungsoo smiled genuinely with a soft nod and whispered,

‘I won’t.’

 

 

 

-

 

 

Sehun sat on the rooftop, feeling quite aimless. Now that Jongin had confessed Kyungsoo, what should he do? But wait. When did his life start to revolve around Kyungsoo? Sehun laughed bitterly as he didn’t notice the moment he fell for Kyungsoo. Did his first ever love have to end this way?

“Oh Sehun!”

Sehun turned around swiftly when he heard his name being called. He found Kyungsoo who was walking towards him with hurried steps. Wait. What? Sehun opened his mouth to ask,

“What are – “

“No. Sehun. Don’t speak.”

“Eh?”

“Don’t speak. Listen to me.”

“What do you-“

“Shut up!!!”

Sehun chuckled in amusement before nodding. How can Kyungsoo make him chuckle, let alone smile, even when he was hurting so bad in his heart? Kyungsoo closed his eyes and blurted out,

“I like... no. I love you.”

Sehun’s smile was wiped off from his face. Sehun stuttered,

“What?”

“I love you. I love Oh Sehun. Not Kim Jongin. I am stupid, I know. I always start a conversation with you and trust me. I’ve never done that. And, even though I am the one starting the conversation, I feel so happy to talk to you and I feel these butterflies in my stomach and I don’t even know why I am that happy. The other day when you said I was an angel, I actually squealed in happiness and you will never understand how happy I felt but – “

Sehun pulled Kyungsoo by his waist and perfectly molded their lips into a kiss.

Kyungsoo thinks maybe this is love. It’s not chasing after someone and feeling all giddy and happy when he notices you. Love isn’t about you being happy. It’s about seeing someone happy and the smile of that one person, in turn, makes you happy. You may not be able to read all their emotions from a glance but your heart aches when their heart aches and your heart feels happy when they feel happy. Maybe this is love, Kyungsoo thought as he looked into Sehun’s eyes.

Nah. It’s not a maybe.

This is love.

Kyungsoo whispered, “I told you to listen to the end.”

“Do you mind?”

“No. This is better.”

Kyungsoo reconnected their lips.