Against all nature rules and people’s perception, I choose to follow my heart and pick up my own path, I hear them say but their voices die down when my heartbeat is louder and I’d rather listen to it, a heart that tells me to do what makes me happy, and loves who I want to love cause love is never wrong and never will be.

I make my way out of my room and I’m not going to look back, nothing to be regretted.  When I reach down stair with my suitcase, as expected, my dad is not home so is his wife, and they wouldn’t care either, when my father made it clear that if I choose to be with her then I’m not welcomed here, and I can stay only if I break up with her, which it doesn’t seem to happen . As I’m about to reach the door, I hear my step-sister calls me, I’m quite surprised though as I didn’t think she would be around.

“Are you really leaving?” Her voice is just as calm as her face, she leans her back on the wall of the connecting hall.

“Hmm” I reply shortly as I reach for a door knob, I wait to make sure she doesn’t have anything else to say then I take my step forward exiting the door of my comfort and cozy place.

When I was a kid, I wish I was a bird so I could fly wherever I wanted to be, but I realized that I ain’t got wings, today I discover a truth that if you can give up on what you are scared to lose then you will give yourself wings and can fly, and that is what I’m feeling now, my free soul is flying to the home of my heart.

I stare on my own feet while I’m waiting for the door to be opened, I realize that my feet are more comfortable in this pair of flat shoes rather than my killer high heels. As I’m being happy with my own realization, the door swings opened and reveals a panting girl who greets me with her smile. No word is said when she throws herself at me and gives me the tightest hug ever.

“Thank you” I hear Eunjung say in her husky voice and I hug her back.

In the middle of the night, when we have no care of the world out there, our souls are merging as one as we wrap around in each other arms, we are in heaven. I have no regret if I’m gonna die tomorrow, in your arms right here right now, I can’t ask for me. I’ve got you and you’ve got me, that all matters.

******************************

Call me selfish for holding you back from where you might belong, call me greedy for needing you here by my side, I’ve tried and tried but at the end of the day I know truly well that I can’t let go of your hand, internal struggle sends me back and forth, and I can’t imagine my life without you, just the thought of it breaks me from inside. Literarily, they say true love is to set your loved one free, I personally disagree on that, I don’t believe you can really let go of someone you truly love when you long to see her face every day, desperately want to hear her voice and all you miss is her smile and her touch, those bad habits about her that you grow to love them though. I know I’m merely speck of dust beside diamond, but I can’t go on a day having to worry about her and wonder where she could be without me in her life. Just as I’m drifting away with my thought, the weight on my shoulder distracts me from all my “What-if” possibility, and reminds me of the precious existence besides me.

“Are we there yet?” Hyomin glances up at me as her soft hair spread on my shoulder.

“Not yet but soon, are you tired?” I brush strains of her hair that covered her check and put them behind her ear.

“Nope” Hyomin snuggles closer to me and her eyelids are closing, I know she is tired from all travelling since we have been on this train for more than four hours, I know she is not used to public transport as all her life she has been treated like a prince, sometimes this reality knocks me hard and I can’t help but feel so low when I can't provide better thing in life for her.

“I’m sorry” I whisper to her as I’m caressing her hair.

“What’s for?” Hyomin asks me with her closed eyes

 “For making you going through this hardship with me” I sincerely feel guilty

 “Then nothing to be sorry about, besides this is fun” Hyomin answers, assuring me but still I can’t help but feel bad.

“If you could turn back time, would you change a thing and wish we’ve never met?” I don’t know why I came up with this question, it’s something that keeps bothering me for so long.

“ Just so you know I never regret any single minute being with you no matter what will happen and never ever say sorry to me again, cause if you do, it means you don’t respect my decision” Hyomin states firmly which means I should not argue.

 “I’m sorry, I’ll never say that again” When I finish my sentence, Hyomin shots her eyes open and move her head away from my shoulder then I realize my mistake.

“Eunjung, didn’t you hear me say?” Hyomin asks with her cold tone but her strong gaze is making hold in my skin.

“I’m s …” I hold back my tongue and quickly form another sentence “ Please forgive me” I beg, she looks away and I know she is really mad, just as I’m starting to feel hopeless, Hyomin tilts her head and sticks her tongue out. I smile at her childish act at a time

“ So am I forgiven?” I ask for confirmation

“Sure” She holds up her pinky finger indicating that what I asked for is granted now, naturally I hold up my little finger and hook with hers, she smiles like a kid, smile that I would do anything just to keep it shine on her face.

After our small make-up, Hyomin leans on my shoulder again and starts to hum her favorite song, at first I didn’t know what this English song means, the often I hear she sings in bathroom, I tried to memorize the words and googled them up, finally I found what the lyrics mean and I start to love it as well

Nobody’s gonna love me better, I must stick with you forever, nobody’s gonna take me higher, I must stick with you, you know how to appreciate me, I must stick with you my baby, nobody ever made me feel this way, I must stick with you .  

“Do you ever dream about being a singer?” I ask Hyomin when she stops humming a song.

“I love singing but I don’t think I can be one” Hyomin answers lazily

“Why not? you have a beautiful voice” I compliment

“Only you find my voice is beautiful” Hyomin laughs it away

“Believe me you have such a nice voice, and I love it” I really mean it

“ Then I’ll sing for you the rest of my life” Hyomin reaches out her hand to hold mine, what’s more I could ask for when I know in this life I’ve been loved by her.

“ Thank you” Simple and easy, I just love her.

“Hey, it stops, are we there?” Hyomin looks around excitedly as the train is put into full stop and I look out for the name of the station then nod to her as a confirmation.

“YEAH” Hyomin squealed in delight as she grabs my hand and is ready to get off.

“Let’s me get our bags” I collect my backpack and her duffel bag for couple night stay in my hometown, yeah, it’s my hometown that I’ve not been back for years, and there is no reason for me to be back when there is nobody there left for me to visit, one and only member of my family was my deceased grandmother who left me 2 years ago, that when I decided to leave my hometown to Seoul where I met this wingless angel.  I believe that you lose something and you’re meant to find something else, in my case, I found the love of my life.

“I can’t wait to see where you were born and grew up” Hyomin’s voice brings me back again, she is so excited and I start to worry.

I grab her hand with my free hand while other is carrying her bag, and leading her out of platform and exit the train station. And after ten minutes ride on a cab, we are finally in front of this old run-down wooden gate door.

I expected to see Hyomin’s disappointed face but that expression never comes, instead she smiles broadly and can’t wait to get inside this little house which left abandon for years.

“Welcome to my home Hyomin”

*********************************

“Aigoo, this is heaven” I slam myself down on the mat after freshening up.  We had an exhausting half day of cleaning the house that covered in thick dust, thanks God we finally wiped them off and the house is clean to sleep in now.

“I told you, you didn’t have to do this” Eunjung sits down next to me on the mat and glances at me worriedly. She disagreed to let me help but I couldn’t sit and watching she worked on it all alone.  

“It would take you forever to clean up the whole house and we would never get to sleep” I but she doesn’t seem to take the joke when her expression remains the same.

“It’s a great exercise you know, I’ve not worked out for a while” I reason but Eunjung still casts that worry look on me.

“You know that I care for you right?” Eunjung takes my hand and caresses it tenderly.

“I know, but you don’t have to worry about me, these are things I can do” I assure her

 “I promise to take care of you the best I can and never let you suffer more hardship than you are already in when you are with” I know Eunjung cares about me but I just want her to give me some credit.

“Haven’t we talked about this before?” I stop her with my signature gaze and she seems to think about it.

“Fine” Eunjung gives in which I quite expect that, I smile, satisfied. Eunjung then lays down next to me, we are both staring at the ceiling.

“This house is lovely, you should have taken me here long ago” I compliment, no I mean it, this house is really cute, it’s a simple small typical Korean house that I know not many will find it fancy but for me it gives off a welcoming and cozy feeling once we arrived here.

“I left here since my grandmother passed away, and this is the first time in 2 years I’ve returned after I got the letter” Eunjung speaks with a hint of missing her family member.

“I’m sorry about your grandmother” I reach for her hand and squeeze it, Eunjung responds by intertwining her hand with mine, and they perfectly fit in each other.

“She might be in heaven looking at us now, so I should be happy for her” Eunjung speaks while keeps smiling as always, this is one of the thing that I love about her, no matter what happens, she never loses hope and stays positive, I guess this is the fact why I feel so secured when I’m with her.

“Yeah, she might so was my mom” All of sudden I start to miss my mom, it has been such a long time since I saw her face that I barely remember how it feels to have my mom wrapped her arms around me protectively.

“Yeah, she is there watching upon us” Eunjung tightens our intertwining hands with her unspoken comfort.

“Hyomin’s mother, I promise to take care of your daughter the best I can until my last breathe, please watch upon us and bless us” Eunjung seems to notice my quietness and so she breaks the silence again, and as always, she never fails to put smile back to my face.

“Thank you Eunjung” I know she doesn’t just say it but she means it and I trust her with all my heart that she will never leave me.

After my mother passed away, I was devastated and lost, my father remarried with young woman with her own kid and since then I felt left out, my father was so in love with his wife and his step-daughter, Park Jiyeon, and little by little I got neglected, I became rebellious and by the time I knew it I wasn’t the same person I used to be. I started looking for replacement but all I found was the lies and those who came to me for reason, I’ve never been loved and the hole in my heart became bigger, until I met Eunjung , a person who cleaned up my mess and knocked me out of my mask, the only one who can mend the broken me and bring back my soul, the one and only who fills my empty heart with love and gives me a meaning of life, I never meant to fall for her but I’m glad I did.

“You have no idea how grateful I am to have you in my life” I can hear Eunjung whispering into my ear follows by a warm kiss on my forehead, and it’s always a wonderful way to put me into sleep.

************************************************

 “Hold me tight” Eunjung told Hyomin “ Ready ?”

“Yes” Hyomin wrapped her arms around Eunjung’s waist

“Let’s go” Eunjung announced then two wheels of her bicycle span along slope road in speed that gravity could allow it, Hyomin giggled when wind blew her face, her hair flew in the air.

Eunjung and Hyomin were on Eunjung’s old bike visiting places where Eunjung was born and grew up , in such a small quite town, it wasn’t difficult to go around on bicycle, there were times tha