***

I was walking down a path that I've known all too well since I was a child. At the corner of my eye, I saw a figure of a little girl not older than twelve. She had those long brown tresses that almost cover up her damp face.

She was crying.

She also had a look on her face that I've seen so many times before.

It was the look of hurting and complexities.

I just tried to shrug off what I saw and walk out of that scene, but my conscience just wouldn't allow me such luxury. I sighed as I looked back at the little girl who was sobbing non-stop. I walked closer to where she was slumped and she almost jumped when she realized that I was already standing in front of her.

"Hey..." I said softly as if trying to ease all her tension.

I saw her bit her lip as she tried to stop the tears from flowing down her flushed cheeks. Then suddenly, like a scared mouse cornered by a cat, she gathered all of her things in panic and tried to walk away.

"You know you're beautiful..." her head turned to me in a flash, confusion evident in her face. She looked at me with those almond shaped eyes and those chocolate-colored orbs with such innocence. Her quivering lips parted as though she wanted to say something, but instead she just looked down and stared at her feet.

"You're beautiful and you should raise your chin up so that everybody will see your beauty." I said as I leaned closer to her and raised her chin. She looked at me, pain obvious in her eyes. Tears began to well into its corners again and it wasn't long before she couldn't stop it from falling.

"I-I'm n-not..." she stuttered, as each teardrop began to achingly fall down her cheeks. Looking at her, I saw my old self. The ME that I've long forgotten, the ME that was kept hidden in the depths of my memories.

"You are beautiful." I gently said yet I gave each word enough emphasis. I then touched her small face and wiped away her tears. She continued to sob yet she didn't pull away, instead she wailed louder and jumped into my arms in a tight hug.

"I-I-I'm n-not... b-beautiful... I-I'm not. That's w-what they always t-tell me..." she cried out loud, her shoulders quivering in my arms. She pulled away slightly to look at me with those tear-stained face and swollen eyes. In between her sobs, she softly voiced,

"I-It's easy for you t-to say t-that since you're b-beautiful..."

"You know what? I know a girl who looked exactly like you. She had those pink, puffy cheeks too, those swollen round doe-like eyes that were always tearstained, and small cherry lips that would always round out into a pout as she tries to stop herself from crying. Though her hair was shoulder-length and straight, while yours are long and curly, I think you two look so much alike."

"Really?" she asked, head bobbing to one side.

"Yes. Do you want to know who she is?" I asked her and she nodded her head lightly.

"Tada~! She's yours truly, Seira Kennedy." I said smiling, presenting myself to her. She voiced a low 'eh?' and frowned at me, disbelief apparent on her face.

"I don't think we look alike... You're very pretty and famous while I'm not." She said softly and looked away, feeling embarrassed.

"They would always call me names and they would always make me feel so small. I never felt beautiful... not in their eyes. Not in anyone's eyes." she said as her hands slowly went on to touch her face,

"I don't even know why I'm born... I'm worthless."

At that time, I couldn't even speak up, because I know nothing of those 'It's okay', 'It's going to be fine', and 'Be positive' will work. I know, because I've been there.

I have felt this. I was once here in this situation. I, for once, felt how it was to be labeled worthless.

"Do they really have to rub it in my face how I'm nothing compared to them? Do they really have to remind me each and every day of my life how stupid and how worthless I am?" she asked looking directly into my eyes, and straight into my soul. I didn't even realize it but then warm tears were already falling from my eyes.



 

"Why are you in the drama club anyway? You can't even get out into that stage because you'll scare the crowd away! Gosh, dont you know how ugly you are, Seira?" Marie, the drama club president and daughter of the school director, spat at me.

"Yeah! And I bet she can't even act! Ha! Pathetic!" Marie's best friend, Julienne also said poking my cheeks.

"I-I... I j-just w-w-want to t-try out..." I said stuttering. Everyone started laughing at me.

"Oh really? Can you even say the dialogues t-t-that w-way?" Julienne said, raising one eyebrow at me.

"I-I could t-try..." and thus they pulled me towards the stage and pushed me down. I stumbled and fell first, making my classmates laugh all the more at me.

"Act." Marie said and walked away, her friends following closely behind her.

My mind was already going haywire. They didn't even give me a script or even instructed me with anything. I was lost on what I should do and say. I was scared and scarred for their continuous bullying. And it pained me that the only thing I want to do is being taken away from me too.

Acting... It was the only thing I can hold on to.

I didn't want them to stop me from acting and joining the drama club so I tried to remember the lines from the infamous Romeo and Juliet just so that I could show them my acting skills. Since it was my favorite play, it wasn't so hard to make a mental note of each and every line.

I cleared my throat and wiped the tears that are yet to fall from my eyes. Then I stood up and internalized what I needed to do...

"Romeo, my Romeo~! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and ref--" before I could even finish, ripe tomatoes came flying my way and had hit me straight in the face.

"Pathetic. You're acting like you can act, huh? Oh, now youre covered with tomatoes Well, that suits you even better Ugly Seira." Julienne said and threw another tomato at me.

"Hahaha~ I agree, tomatoes suit you better! Now, just clean up this mess so that we can get to practice. Oh by the way, you're accepted in the drama club now... It's just that, you won't get to play a part since we don't want to scare the audience, right?" Marie said glaring at me.

I nodded, I painfully nodded. Because however hurt I was, I didn't want to leave this club because it's the only thing that gives meaning to my 'worthless' existence. Acting is the only hope I could hold on to.

This is only one of so many times people have judged me for who I am not and just for who I am as they see me. And I can't even stop them because little by little, I have come to hate myself just as they've hated me...

With every insult, with every beating, I lose a part of me...

And it had been like this until...


 

"Seira? Are you okay?" I heard the little girl's voice making me go back to reality. I just remembered a part of my past that I wanted to erase in my memory thoroughly.

"Ah... Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine..." I said forcing a smile. The girl just looked at me and it was like she understood my emotions that she touched my face and wiped away my tears.

"You've been here before, haven't you? You've felt this way too, didn't you? You've had people tell you you're worthless without even trying to g-get to k-know you... It happened t-to you t-too?"

I felt her pain in those words. She was looking at me and asking me those questions like she's pleading to have someone understand her sorrows. She looked like she was asking me to say yes just so that she won't feel alone.

She was looking at me, and it was like looking at her reflection.

"You know what? It's not important where you've been on the past, what's important is where you'll be tomorrow..." I said smiling at her.

"When I was in elementary and middle school, my classmates would always call me ugly and they would push me around and hit me. I didn't really mind it much or should I say I don't want to mind it. I got used to it eventually. Then I joined the drama club, because it had always been my passion to act, but my classmates also tried to snatch it from me... They'd say that I big time and that I have nowhere to go when it comes to acting..." I breathed in deep wanting to remove that heavy feel inside my chest.

"And you know, little by little I have come to believe what they were saying against me... I started hating myself, too. I started cursing my own worthlessness as well. I was questioning God and everyone else why I had to be born a failure..." I continued, my voice cracking and shaking.

"But I met a boy who changed my views..."

 

"You're going to try out? Haha. As if an Asian boy like you could actually act and say the dialogues properly huh?" I heard Julienne say. They were talking to someone who I can't see yet. Their whole group was now crowding over someone who I think wants to join the drama club, too.

"Can you even speak English?" Brione, Julienne's guy 'boy friend' added up laughing.

They were obviously making fun of whoever was there. And since I don't want them to turn their bullying to me, I remained silent as I continued to mop the stage as what they instructed me to do.

"Well, you'll just be making the drama club look bad if we accept you. We already have one stupid and ugly member right there and it'll be a burden to have you as well... But, since we're kind and all then I guess it wouldn't hurt to get you to help Ugly Seira." Marie voiced, her hands crossed against her chest.

"So? What are you doing standing there looking stupid, Stupid? Help that freak clean up the stage!" Brione yelled at the new member.

After a while, I just heard someone being dragged to where I was and before I could even look behind me, I felt something hit me making me fall down with a loud thud.

"You're so slow! Now, be good little members and clean up the whole stage." Brione said and scoffed at us.

I looked at whatever or whoever it was that pushed me down and saw a very good-looking guy.

He had brown spiked hair that fits his chubby face perfectly. His skin looked so smooth and fair. He was looking at me with those light-brown eyes full of embarrassment and confusion, while his cheeks blushed a deep shade of scarlet. Then his strawberry-tinted lips parted as he spoke with low yet calming voice,

"I'm sorry..."

All I can do was nod at that moment. The new member looked so angelic and I don't understand why they were actually bullying him since he looked like someone who could be popular in a flick of a hand.

"Will there be anyone more stupid that both of you?! We need to practice in a sec and all you're doing is just sitting down looking pathetic as ever?!" Marie yelled making me flinch. I immediately stood up and continued to mop the floor. I turned to look at the new guy just to see Brione pull him up by his collar.

"Do you even understand a thing we're saying, huh Asian Dude?" then he suddenly pushed him down violently again, making the poor guy hit his face on the floor.

I felt my hand hold the handle of the mop tighter. It was different seeing someone get bullied in front of you... It hurts to see someone get hurt in front of you... And it pained me a lot more knowing that I can't even do anything at all.

I can't even stand up for myself, what more for someone else? I thought as I remained glued to my place just staring at the poor guy being laughed at. I tried to look away and just walk away when Brione lifted his fist to hit the guy and I didn't know what got into me when I pushed Brione away and raised the mop ready to hit him with it.

"You b**ch! What are you doing?!" he yelled at me yet I didn't fall back, instead I heard myself whisper,

"Stop... Stop it..."

"Now you're going to go against us?!" Marie shouted, and I felt tears suddenly stinging my eyes. I felt so scared that I could already feel my hands shake as I held the mop handle tighter.

"STOP IT! DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD STEPPING ONTO OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THIS?! DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER WHEN YOU PUT SOMEONE ELSE DOWN?! I'VE LISTEN TO YOU DEFINE WHO I AM AND WHO I SHOULD BE ALL THIS TIME... AND I'VE ALMOST BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAY I AM WORTHLESS. BUT YOU SEE I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I WON'T LET YOU RUIN ME AND TAKE AWAY WHAT'S LEFT OF ME. I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS AGES AGO..." I walked over to the bucket of water I used to rinse the mop and took it. Then I walked close to Marie and her gang,

"I should have stood up against you, the people who only see the flaws of others but are blind to their own defects, long before." I raised the bucket ready to throw the water to them but instead I dropped it and let the water spill over the stage.

"However I hated what you have done to me... I would never ever hurt you because I don't want to be as low as you are." I looked at them then I looked back sadly at the guy who's still sitting down on the floor before walking away.

***

"Thank you for earlier... You're really brave." I heard a voice behind me say. I was on the rooftop of our school then thinking of what I have done earlier.

"Honestly, I just want the earth to open up and swallow me whole so that I won't get to see Marie and her friends again. Because I think they'll murder me for what I did."

"Do you think I'm digging up my own grave?" I said and looked at the guy who I 'may have' saved from Brione. He looked at me and laughed. I really think with this guy's looks he could become a lot more popular than Marie and her gang added up.

"What?" I asked annoyed. 'Now I have another person laughing at me huh?' I thought. I just shrugged and stared at my feet again, like always. I'm really worried that this might just be the last day of my life on Earth.

"You're beautiful... And you should always raise your chin and hold your head up high so that the world can see how beautiful you are."

My mouth dropped. What is this guy saying? He is honestly out of his mind, and right now I'm not really surprised why he's being bullied. Such wicked sense of humor he got.

"You know what? I don't get you... And please stop saying unnecessary things... You know I... Oh, I just hate myself. Ugh. You know, I've accepted how I'm not perfect and how I'm flawed so please stop saying things like 'you're beautiful and blah blah...' okay? You're making my head hurt."

"Having complexities is happiness. Perfection is boring. By accepting yourself as your biggest rival, you can see the possibilities and grow."

"You are one weird guy... Do you know that?" I said and started to walk away. I still need to think of a way to save myself from being killed but before I could go out of the door the guy called back,

"You should like yourself more... because no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. By the way, my name's Sakurai Daichi... I hope you remember that."

 

"''You should like yourself more... because no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' His words changed me. After that I became more outspoken and I didn't allow people to define who I was... When I was in high school, I joined the drama club again and excelled. Then I tried auditioning for role in a drama and--"

"And you got in that's why you're now one of the best actresses there is." The little girl said, now smiling.

"I've learned to be strong and learned to stand tall despite having people pull me down... I guess that's what shaped me to be the Seira Kennedy I am now."

"That's amazing... I wish I could be like you..." she said and looked away. Then I saw her crumple a piece of paper that was scattered along with her other things. I looked at her and gently took her hand in mine as I got the paper she tried to hide.

It had poems that speak of life, love, and living. I read some and it wrote,

I always cry
But I have to try
To break through and not hide
The me that could glide
And fly away
To the heavens high.

"It's nothing really..." she said as she took the piece of paper from my hand.

"If you continue to pull yourself down like that then you're no different from the bullies that hurt you. You should always believe in your self cause if you don't then who else will, right?"

She looked down at her hand that was grasping the crumpled paper.

"It's not that easy... I'm used to having no one believe in me and I'm used to people bringing me down so I don't know if I can even stand up..."

"You can. I did, didn't I? And besides, I believe in you. I know you can do it." This made the girl smile shyly as she gently nod her head.

***

"Thank you everyone for being here today. Honestly, I could have never imagine publishing a book ever... but now I already have two bestsellers and now my third book is already out. I cannot be more grateful for all your support."

I looked at the author of two of the bestselling books in New York right now. And a smile formed on my lips as I remembered our first meeting.

"But I couldn't have done all of this if no one talked to me that day..." she paused and smiled as she tried to remember what had brought her to change.

"To my idol and inspiration... The amazing actress, Ms. Seira Kennedy... Thank you for helping me see who I am and making me realize what I am made for. I guess I have to thank the one who saved you as well, right? To the handsome guy who is now sitting happily beside you, thank you so much for seeing the beauty in her."

I laughed lightly at that. I then squeezed the hand that was holding mine and stared at the gorgeous guy beside me before looking at the ring I was wearing on my ring finger.

"You should like yourself more... because no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. By the way, My name's Sakurai Daichi... I hope you remember that."

Daichi Sakurai, how could I forget? We already share the same surname now. Because of this guy I learned to stand up for myself and others. Because of this guy, I reached my dreams... Because of this guy, I am now the happy Mrs. Seira Kennedy Sakurai.... Because of this guy, I became who I am today...

"So let me just end this with saying... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU
SHOULD ALWAYS HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH SO THAT THE WHOLE
WORLD CAN SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE."