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Droplets of rain kept cascading down from the tearing dark, murky night sky. Constant vexing sound of each drop urged the unconscious brunette to stir from her deep slumber; her eyes twitched slightly in discomfort. Another drop of the sky’s teardrop finally caused her bloodshot eyes to crack open. A sudden bone-chilling shiver ran through her each and every pores as the cold breeze waltzed its’ way from the clefts of her glass windows. Eyes blinked twice before she found herself resisting the urge from falling back asleep. She curled her bare figure, seeking for warmth under the thin sheets of cloths, shielding her fragile self from the bitter cold wind brushing her skin. A soft whimper and she brought her knees closer to her chest, slightly trembling.

For the second time that night, she forced her heavy eyelids open. She then rolled on her stomach, only to find an empty side of the bed. A hand shot out, tapping the vacancy, denying the fact the void of space. Took her a few seconds before her eyes were fully adjusted to the imminent darkness and found it hard to believe no one sleeping beside her. Who was she kidding, she thought to herself. She laid there momentarily, listening to the raindrops which was her absolute companion. A dejected sigh. She reluctantly sat up, clutching tightly on the hem of her bed sheets, covering her exposed slender figure.

If there was anything messier than her appearance right now, was her life. Her tousled long brown silky locks, her porcelain face stained with smeared make up with lips partly chapped, Jessica Jung was a total shipwreck. Despite all that, she didn’t give a single damn about how she looked. At least, not now. Not when she didn’t fathom the things she’d been doing. Letting her feet dangling at the edge of her king sized bed, she took a deep breath before dropping to the chilled wooden floor. She wrapped the thin sheets around her unclothed body as her feet carried her to the windows.

Fingers graced the frosty glass, slowly trailing down to the metal railings. Oddly, she felt numb. Perhaps, it was the emptiness that had numbed her senses, or simply because of the unbearable loneliness she had grown accustomed to. Her eyes were glued to the endless droplets flowing down, just as her memories did, flooding her mind and mentally assaulting her with the wistful surge of emotions.

It was a new habit for Jessica - waking up to an empty side of the bed, left yearning to see the girl she had surrendered herself with the night before. The girl that had with her, the girl that stole her heart but found herself nowhere in that girl’s heart. Some times, she felt like a total e for sleeping with someone who’s already in a relationship and would spend the next few days with that guilt on her back. Was the shame worth it though? Yes it was, and Jessica would throw away her pride just to spend another night with this person. Even when she trampled on her and disappear, Jessica couldn’t help but to love her. All because of this crazy love.

Being in this state was Jessica’s dream and asylum. Even when the girl brushed her bitter lips against Jessica’s, she’d like it. Even when she talked with her cold and frightening voice filled venom, Jessica would still listen to them like a child listening to a lullaby. Jessica wanted to believe it’s love. However, today, as she stood there catching her reflection, she seemed a little too pitiful. Hands wrapped around her shoulders and Jessica was at the verge of crying. Failed resisting the temptation to break down, Jessica silently wailed. 

“Come back to me,” she breathed between her sobs.

"I've never left, Sooyeon."

A gasp. She knew exactly to whom that soothing voice belonged to. When Jessica was about to crook her gaze to the owner, a pair of cold arms s around her neck, urging her body closer to the holder. As if it was magic, time had ceased ticking forward, bone-piercing breeze hung unstirred, a blob at the corner of her eyes was at the verge of falling but halted as it somehow defied the gravity. It took her a moment when Jessica realized she wasn't breathing - heck, she had forgotten how to. Her body intensified at the taunting contact, she shivered when the person's hot breath brushed against her bare nape.

"Sooyeon,"

Jessica felt her knees grew weak as that calm, soothing and deep voice creeped through her ears. Oh God, she hissed silently. She needed to breathe but such a simple act made impossible because of the blonde girl behind her, agonizingly much oxygen left spared between them. The way how she voiced out her Korean name, Jessica felt loved. She wanted, needed, for her to call her by that name again and again. Who knew a common name would sound so pleasant?

"Sooyeon..." Jessica gasped at the moist feeling lingering at the crook of her neck. A grip on the in layer of sheets tightened, as if her life was dependent on it. "Were you crying?" She felt a pair of flesh trailed alongside her shoulders, making her choke on her words. "I'm sorry."

"N-n-no..." She breathed out when she no longer felt the dampness. "Don't say sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, T-Taeyeon ." it felt so undeniably hard to mutter the name and Jessica didn't fathom why. She shuddered when the aforementioned girl, Taeyeon, slowly brought her hands down to Jessica's upper arms, caressing at it trailed the smooth honey toned skin.

"All you had to do was ask. Ask me to stay, and I will. Ask me to be yours, Sooyeon." Oh so gently Taeyeon turned her around, gaze landed on her lukewarm orbs. Perharps, it was the intensity of the dilated pool of brown which reminded Taeyeon of her favorite caramel coffee that she loved indulging herself in the girls' eyes. Or perhaps, it was the calm and soothing feelings she felt whenever she dwelled in Jessica's eyes, she didn't know.

"Taeyeon, I want to, but I can't." Took her all her energy to finally choke the words out. It wasn't easy to talk - especially when she was on Taeyeon's soft yet demanding grip, and definitely not when she's only covered with thin sheets of the bed cover. "You're not mine, I'm already too late."

"I can be yours."

"What about Irene?" her voice quivered, her heart shaken. "Don't you love her?"

"I do." and the two words were enough to demolish Jessica's little fragile heart into tiny wrecked pieces. "but I don't love her like I love you." Taeyeon knew the girl was breaking, so she held her hand up to her face and cupped it, hoping it would stop the girl from crumbling down. "I can't and I won't lie that I love her, or at least, now, I loved her. Not anymore. Not when I realized you were everything I have ever wanted. Not when we kept seeing each other and made love. Sooyeon, I love you. I really do. I'm sorry we had to do this game, this one night stand thing but I have my reasons." Taeyeon heaved a dejected sigh. Two hearts were shattering and she felt she would really lose Jessica any time soon. "I'm afraid, Sooyeon. I'm afraid you would reject my love and toss me aside. I know how petrified you are being in this kind of relationship so I didn't want to cling on some vague hope and hurt myself in the end."

It wasn't until a lone drop of tear rolled down Jessica's cheek that Taeyeon lost her fight with her own resistance. She too, shed a tear as she looked away. The two stood there for a moment, being enveloped by the deafening eerie silence. The atmosphere was incredibly thick that you could cut it with a knife. Maybe Taeyeon should've said the truth, maybe Taeyeon shouldn't even bother to comeback, and maybe Taeyeon should've just stick to their game and kept on seeing Jessica discreetly without having any strings attached.

But the two wanted some strings attached. Jessica had longed for one and she convinced herself that she's ready. She should not worry about what other people would think - having a homoual relationship. Why should she care, anyway? Jessica Jung had always been that girl that doesn't give a single damn about almost anything. So why should she care now?

"The only sole reason Irene and I are together is for me to grow apart from you. To free myself from your vagueness and uncertainties. It was a mistake, I know. I had to do that, I figured that's the only way you could stop denying your true feelings for me. Or at least, if you didn't have any feelings for me, I could move on and love her for who she is." Taeyeon took a deep, long breath as if it'd be her last. "I've always loved you. Always been you, Sooyeon."

Regrets. The morbid taste of a hopeless mishap that would never be resolved. Taeyeon's mind and soul was fuzzy. Only the sound of heaven's tears cascading down mercilessly broke the utter silence between the two. Her gaze fell onto Jessica's slender figure and my God was she absolutely stunning. Silver organzas came trickling down, reflecting through the huge glass windows, hovering the beauty down under. The moon was nowhere near beautiful as the girl in front of Taeyeon.

"Kiss me." Eyes glared in surprise. "Kiss me, and never let me go, Taeyeon. Reassure me, protect me as I'll give my all to you. I believe in you. I don't trust the people who'd look upon and judge us, but I trust you. I believe in us. So hold me through the night, tomorrow and forever."

So Taeyeon did without ambiguity. Surge of indescribable emotions and compassion pushed her forward to what she had told to do. Gladly, that is. Taeyeon kissed her like a man had his very first sole kiss from his lady. Butterflies on her stomach were uncontrollable, winter bliss was joy. The cold spacious room was no longer bone chilling, but it was now emitting warmth, amiability and tenderness. Both never knew how marvelous it felt breathing underwater.

"You're so beautiful," Taeyeon whispered as she ran her hand down Jessica's porcelain face. Bare, pure, smooth and she loved each and every minuscule detail of the heavenly piece of art. "I can stare at you forever."

"Just hush, Taeyeon. Hush. Kiss me again, and again."

"I love you," Taeyeon whispered. "Always have,"

"and always will."