{ chapter nine

Jongin stays home for the next week. Summer break is slipping through his fingers like beach sand but he can’t bring himself to face the ocean again, finding the beautiful water to be ridden with pain, guilt and confusion. Loneliness drowns him and he considers contacting Sehun again, but he doesn’t feel worthy of forgiveness, even from his lifelong friend. Eventually, the isolation becomes too much to bear, and he forces himself out of his bedroom and down to the beach to see Taemin again.

He finds the Mer boy sitting on the rocks with his tail dangling in the water, his shoulders weighed down by emotion, his expression crestfallen. Jongin approaches quietly and sits beside him – he can’t even bring himself to smile when Taemin jolts in surprise.

The long pause before Taemin speaks is beyond bearable.

“Jongin, I’m only trying to protect you,” he says softly. His voice is faint and distant and so different from his usual cheerful and sarcastic tone – Jongin immediately chokes up, his throat swollen and painful with tears. He stares at his feet, unable to translate thoughts into words, tongue weak and useless in his mouth.

“I know what it’s like, Jongin,” Taemin continues, firmer than before. “I’ve felt the same way towards Junmyeon for years. The King would punish Junmyeon if he was ever in a relationship with a commoner, and I could be banished for loving another man. I thought my situation was—was risky enough, but you…”

“I don’t want to give up my relationship with him, okay?” Jongin says shakily. “You can threaten me all you want, but he’s important to me. How would you feel if I left you? After the friendship we’ve developed?”

Taemin grits his teeth as Jongin looks up with fire in his eyes. He can tell that Jongin is upset, but his determination to try and protect his friend overpowers Jongin’s stubbornness.

“I’d let you go,” Taemin says, “because your safety is more important to me.”

Jongin’s fingers curl and he tilts his chin to hold back tears threatening to spill over. He shakes his head, his choices already decided.

“You don’t understand. He needs me,” Jongin whispers. “He has nobody. His life is—”

“—not your business,” Taemin interrupts. “I know how much it hurts. But it’s not worth risking your life – and his – for temporary infatuation.”

“Who says it’s temporary?” Jongin fires back defensively.

Taemin buries his face in his hands. It’s useless trying to get through to him – there’s no way he’ll ever be able to convince Jongin of following his advice. He’s too headstrong, his mind is too overcome with feelings to think rationally.

“Please,” he croaks, “please, just…”

Jongin chews his lips, part of him wanting to reach out and comfort his friend, but a larger part of him holding back, knowing that affection will only weaken him and cause him to question his choices. He can’t let Taemin influence him – it’s far too late to leave Kyungsoo behind as a fragment of his past.

“I don’t want you to worry about me,” Jongin says assertively. “There’s no way you can stop me, so just…don’t worry so much. Please?”

“How are you going to have a proper relationship?” Taemin argues, unveiling his face again. “What are you going to do when Kyungsoo is forced into marriage?”

Jongin stares at him, bewildered that he’s still holding up a fight.

“I don’t—I don’t know, okay? But he needs me now, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“I’ll never get through to you, Jongin,” Taemin sighs, finally defeated.

Jongin pushes off the rock and drops into the water, wading out of the shallows and turning back to face Taemin before he leaves.

“Talk me out of it when you’ve fallen out of love with Junmyeon.”

Taemin watches as Jongin dives down and disappears without so much as a splash, and after a moment of contemplation, s himself into the water to follow him.

* * *

Kyungsoo tears up when he hears Jongin calling him softly, and he quickly manoeuvres around the rocks, swimming towards the voice frantically. When he turns a corner and comes face-to-face with Jongin, they spent a moment staring at each other, before Jongin pulls the prince towards his chest and into his arms.

“I didn’t think you’d come back,” Kyungsoo whispers, hands trembling as he grasps Jongin’s t-shirt. Jongin shakes his head, even though Kyungsoo can’t see with his face buried into his shoulder, “I told you I wouldn’t leave you.”

Kyungsoo pulls away with a pathetically tearful smile on his face, and he cards his fingers through Jongin’s hair, pushing his bangs from his forehead. “I missed you so much. I’ve been so lonely.”

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says sincerely, returning the smile. Seeing Kyungsoo’s happy face almost makes it seem as if everything’s okay, as if there’s no reason to grieve or worry, and Jongin finally begins to relax for the first time in what feels like forever. “I just needed some time to myself.”

“I understand.”

Kyungsoo glances over Jongin’s shoulder momentarily, before looking back at him and tugging him in towards their regular hideout spot. “Come. We’re too exposed here.”

“Nobody’s ever going to find this place. Don’t worry.”

Kyungsoo pulls Jongin to sit beside him on the sand, making sure they’re well hidden behind the boulder they lean against. “I wouldn’t be so sure. If you can find it, then anyone can.”

Jongin laughs sheepishly, and gently rubs his fingers against Kyungsoo’s hands, signalling for him not to let go. Kyungsoo leans his head on Jongin’s shoulder in response, sighing in content.

Jongin’s free hand Kyungsoo’s tail, moving up his chest to touch the prince’s collarbones gently, as if to silently ask where his necklace is. Kyungsoo’s fingers move to meet his and entwine them together once more, pressing their hands against his chest.

“I can’t risk wearing it,” he explains quietly. “My father is growing suspicious of me. I have to keep it hidden.”

Jongin nods in understanding. “Shall I give you something else, then? Something your father won’t see?”

Kyungsoo knits his eyebrows together, “what do you mean?”

Jongin’s lips tug as he moves to face Kyungsoo, cupping his cheeks in his palms and pulling him close to kiss him. Kyungsoo melts into Jongin’s touch and eagerly loops his arms around his neck, an eased smile blooming on his face. The weight of his father’s strictness is lifted from his shoulders, slipping away with his unshakeable longing for Jongin’s affection, and his cheeks continue to burn even after Jongin pulls away.

“Did you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Kyungsoo echoes, still dazed from the sudden kiss.

Jongin looks over his shoulder momentarily, before turning back, shrugging. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried about a thing,” Kyungsoo breathes, edging closer and drawing Jongin back in to kiss him again. “Not as long as you’re here.”

* * *

“Your tail feels so weird,” Jongin laughs, wincing as Kyungsoo squirms to find a comfortable position in Jongin’s lap – his fins tickle like crazy against his legs, and the sheer skin of his tail feels slippery and strange.

“Do humans really do this?” the prince grumbles. “Are you sure this isn’t a joke? Your legs are so uncomfortable.”

“Maybe it’s because you don’t have a for cushioning.”

“What’s a ‘’?”

Jongin hauls grinning Kyungsoo by the waist and squeezes him warmly, leaving shy kisses on his shoulders and neck just to rouse giggles from the prince’s throat. Apprehension tickles the back of Kyungsoo’s mind, afraid of being discovered during their moment of fondness, but every time Jongin’s lips touch his skin he shivers away the nerves and lets the relief of being free replace it.

“I—want to sing for you,” Kyungsoo blurts, his heart racing. Jongin stops moving and looks up, surprise written over his face.

“Huh?”

“Nothing,” Kyungsoo exclaims, immediately regretting his impulsive words. He’s not usually one to express his thoughts aloud without consideration, but he was so caught up in the moment, they escaped him all at once.

“You sing?” Jongin asks tenderly. He tries to hide his bewilderment, not wanting to deter Kyungsoo any further.

“No,” Kyungsoo says quickly. He peeks behind him and meets Jongin’s eyes, before mumbling a shy “sometimes” that brings a smile to his astonished face.

Jongin doesn’t push or question at all, but instead watches Kyungsoo with incredible interest and curiosity twinkling in his eyes. Eventually the inquisitive stare drives Kyungsoo insane, and he looks away, insecure.

“Would you ever sing for me?” Jongin murmurs, propping his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. The prince stares to the side and nibbles on the inside of his lip, his cheeks flaring red.

“I’m not—very good,” Kyungsoo says bashfully. “I mean, I don’t get lessons, it’s all just for fun…”

Jongin tilts his head and rests his cheek on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. His approach is to silently guilt Kyungsoo into giving in – and it works like a charm.

“I guess I could sing for you just once,” he sighs, and Jongin throws his arms up and cheers. Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and pushes off his lap, muttering about how childish he is, but he’s really just trying to escape the claustrophobic embrace, self-conscious.

“Sing for me,” Jongin requests, lunging forward to grab Kyungsoo’s hand and pull him back down to sit in front of him. He draws his knees to his chest and waits patiently, dubious of Kyungsoo’s disapproving frown, but all uncertainty disappears the moment Kyungsoo begins. His voice is smoother than velvet and lighter than silk, like nothing Jongin has ever heard before.

Kyungsoo doesn’t get very far into the song before Jongin snatches him and drags him back into his arms, pecking his lips and saying gentle words that resemble “you’re perfect” and “I love you” into the cosy waters around them.

Kyungsoo doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so hard in his life.

* * *

“Hey, Taemin, you seem kind of down lately,” Jonghyun comments casually, rolling stones between his fingers before placing them down carefully into the puzzle board they’ve formed from shells, sticks and dead roots. Minho hums in approval and his chin, deconstructing Jonghyun’s tactics in his mind and formulating ways to beat his opponent.

“I’m fine.”

Taemin has decided to opt out of the game, too emotionally rattled to focus, and he’s finally stirred Jonghyun’s suspicion. Minho, of course, hasn’t noticed a thing.

“That’s a very out-of-character response from you.”

Taemin scowls, annoyed by Jonghyun’s persistence. “That’s a very in-character, nosy response from you.”

“Aw, relax, Taemin. I’m just worried about you.” Jonghyun claps him on the back before picking up his stones and moving them again, cackling as Minho curses his clever strategies.

“Hey, is Jongin going to visit anytime soon?” Minho queries suddenly. Taemin balls his fists and digs ridges into the sand with his knuckles, his sensitivity flaring at the interrogative nature of their conversation.

“I don’t know.”

“Can you bring him down?”

“He’s busy,” Taemin snarls. Jonghyun and Minho look up simultaneously, startled by their friend’s sudden temper, and Jonghyun straightens up from hunching over the game.

“Did something happen?” he asks carefully, concerned at the unusual nature of his mood. Taemin sighs loudly and pounds his tail, the movement of the water blowing away the game pieces, and Minho and Jonghyun stare in shock.

“Just—leave me alone,” he snaps, turning and swimming off angrily, hands gripping his long hair. His friends stare after him in bewilderment, waiting until he disappears to speak.

“You think it’s about Junmyeon?” Minho comments. Jonghyun snorts, turning back to the board and beginning to fix the arrangement of twigs again.

“Nah. I think he’s overly possessive of Jongin.”

Minho shrugs, unconvinced, but picks up his stones and continues their game, undisturbed. Jonghyun can almost see Minho’s regards for Taemin sliding from his mind, and notes that they’re both terrible friends for not caring.

Oh well.

* * *

The Sea welcomes Jongin every time he draws near it – it sends tingles through his fingertips and calls him closer, the waves lapping around him, almost as warm as Kyungsoo’s arms. But Taemin’s words trill sirens in his head and he knows he shouldn’t visit the prince every day, just to reduce the likelihood of being caught.

Instead, he indulges in the neglected pleasures of the Surface that he hasn’t visited in so long, and sprawls himself out on the empty stretches of sand to enjoy the silence. For once, the beach is almost completely empty – only a few people populate the sand, far away from his place of serenity, their voices drowned out by the crashing, foaming waves.

His mind reels back to the last time he did this – the last time he really spent time on his back, staring up at the blue sky and enjoying the air around him. It lands on a memory of sitting on beach towels eating lunch beside a certain tall, lanky blonde with sharp eyes and a cheeky smile.

He purses his lips and rubs his fingers together, massaging the grainy sand between his digits. So far, ever since his phone call with Sehun, Jongin has been blocking out all thoughts of him to suppress the guilt and grief of the distance between them. Both his pride and his shame restrain him from contacting his friend again, so he finds it much easier to numb his debating conscience than face the pain.

Jongin shakes the thoughts from his head. The sun is warm on his cheeks and his eyelids are growing heavy – he doesn’t want to waste his precious time of solitude worrying about what can’t be helped. It’s not as if he brought his phone along, anyway – he couldn’t call Sehun even if he tried.

Loose visions in the back of his eyes float by as his mind wanders sleepily – images of Kyungsoo, of Taemin, of Junmyeon, of coral and seaweed and fish of all different colours. A part of him wants to escape into the Sea forever.

“Jongin?”

Jongin jolts at the sound of the voice behind him, eyes snapping open in alarm. He immediately scrambles to sit up and look behind him, believing his ears are playing tricks, but what he sees can only prove his senses functional.

Sehun stands a few metres behind him, his hair gently blowing in the breeze, eyes wide and hopeful as they meet with Jongin’s. He isn’t wearing swimming trunks – in fact, even in the heat of the day, he’s wearing jeans and canvas shoes. It’s a long way to travel, from Sehun’s house to the beach, and he clearly came with no intentions of going for a swim.

Jongin is paralysed. It feels like forever since he’s seen Sehun, and his sudden appearance has startled him, freezing him in place. He doesn’t know what to say or do, and can only stare dumbly, lost.

“Can I—can I come sit down?” Sehun asks timidly, stepping closer. Jongin flinches subconsciously, and Sehun falters, realising Jongin is fearful.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispers, wringing his hands together. He hangs his head when Jongin doesn’t respond.

“L-Look, I—I know we haven’t…”

His voice trails to nothing as he watches Jongin get to his feet, picking up his towel and holding it against him to hide his bare chest. All of a sudden, Jongin feels shy, unbearably shy, and he wants nothing more than to escape into the ocean and feel the silence around him.

Sehun tries at his words again. “Jongin, I know I’ve done something to upset you, but if we could just fix this…I mean, before school starts again, and everything…”

“You haven’t done anything.”

Sehun stares at him expectantly, hoping that he’ll elaborate, but he doesn’t continue. Jongin steps back, nibbling on his lower lip, and motions messily towards the ocean.

“Um—I’m going to, uh, you know…”

Sehun looks back and forth between the water and Jongin, shoulders sagging, disheartened.

“We can go together,” Sehun attempts weakly. “You know, like we used to.”

Any hints of positivity in Sehun’s voice are blatantly forced, and Jongin’s remorse overwhelms his ability to speak. He never thought about just how much he’s hurting Sehun, and to be faced with it so suddenly is too much to bear. He chokes a shaky “sorry” before backing away, turning to head towards the sea, looking at his feet.

Sehun watches him go with shaking hands, the slightest fragment of hope keeping his eyes locked on his friend, silently wishing for him to look back one more time.

He doesn’t.

Jongin fails to turn around and see the tears slipping down Sehun’s cheeks.

✏ [ a/n ] nyooooooooom i'm on exams so sorry if i dont update nek week ok

word count: 2788