The sun was shining bright, but the day was so warm and calm that I couldn’t just stay in my apartment. Sitting on the grass, under a tree at the park, relaxing from my university stress. I close my eyes and forget about everything. Don’t know how long has it been since I’ve been laying here but my relaxing ritual didn’t last long. I hear a sudden scream from my left side and someone laid flat on top of me that whoever watched us from afar would think we are a couple getting it on in public.

“Sehun, why do you have to be a little and ruin my relaxing day?” I sigh

“Aww but I just made your day brighter!” he said happily

“Could you get off of me; people will think other things that aren’t real!” I say but my heart is racing fast.

“Since when do you care what people think?” he said it with such a serious voice that you would think he got mad at my comment. I ignore him and push him off of me and he laid next to me without a protest.

“You were right, today is a relaxing day” he said it with a small voice, if I wasn’t as close to his face and him with his head turned to my side I wouldn’t have heard him. But he had to ruin my day by saying “Don’t you have a test tomorrow?”

“See! You keep ruining my day! Why did you have to remind me that NOW?!” I turn in the grass and lay my face on the grass. I feel Sehun turn on my side and felt something heavy on my upper back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to…but since you are always telling me why don’t I remind you things on time…well” it’s when he says that, that I know it’s his head that is resting on me. I am begging the sky that Sehun can’t feel and hear my heart racing a marathon in my chest.

“And you pick now to do it, great timing dude.” I chuckle

“Shut up and relax, stupid” he says joking.

Sehun and me have been best friends since our first year in university and it all started in English class, because I saw that he had a pin of my favorite TV show and asked him where did he get it and from then on we kept talking in the class room before the class started and after. We grew comfortable with each other fast until today that we are best friends even if he annoys the hell out most of the times. I must admit that I actually started growing feelings for him but Sehun would never see me as more than a friend, I see the way he treats other girls and the way he treats me and I feel like he treats me as one of the guys and I’m ok with that since I am practically a dude; I rarely act like a girl. Those feelings have been stored in a safe box for a long time now and I don’t intend on letting them out.

I suddenly feel Sehun’s arm envelop my waist, and this is weird it gives me a different vibe from the other times he gets all cuddly with me.

“Hey, are you okay?” I say worried.

I try to turn but Sehun doesn’t let me by squishing my waist, so I stay laid on my front and turn my head to look at him but he still has his head on my back so I can’t see his face.

“Ya!  What’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything” I feel him sigh on my back, so I try harder to turn and this time he lets me. We sit up and look at each other but he is looking to the ground. He opens his mouth but closes it again. I move my hand and place it on top of his to give him a comporting squeeze. He looks up and finally says.

“I have been feeling horrible for the past couple of days I keep thinking and thinking but I can’t seem to find what to do” he sighs as if he has given up.

“What were you thinking?” I ask curious.

“That…that…the girl…I like…m-might not like me back.” He says with difficulty but that was like a knife to my heart and I definitely didn’t want to feel like that and much less feel like crying, I hate crying.

“h-have you tried confessing to her?” I say with a small voice trying not to give away how I am feeling right now.

“well, not really, but I have been talking to her for a while and tried giving hints to see if she at least sees that, but I don’t think she sees me like boyfriend material more like a friend” he says.

“Ya! Sehun! D-don’t get all depressed because one girl might not like you, there are tons of girls after you! Remember all those girls that look at us weird from afar, one of those might be your next girlfriend who knows, come on, cheer up” I try to cheer him up.

“But… I don’t want any of those girls…I…I want you” he finally looks up and looks directly into my eyes. I remain frozen because Sehun most definitely did not just say he wants me of all people, no he didn’t that’s just me imagining stuff. I chuckle and ask “ what?”

“I want you! I’ve been liking you for a long time now! You don’t know how frustrating it is to have you so close yet so far, thinking that you might not like me the way I like you! And even if you don’t like me the same way I will be okay with that we can stay friends that’s fine by me because I don’t want to lose you, you are too special for me…”

“I-I-I…” my words are not working and it frustrates me. “S-sehun…why? I’m a wierdo I…don’t even know how to flirt…I don’t know how to be romantic…there are so many girls that are actually feminine….why me?” I really didn’t know how a guy like Sehun would like a girl like me, I am not saying I’m not pretty but dang it! I sure don’t take care of myself like a girl ‘should’.

“And because you are a weirdo and aren’t the actual girly type is why I fell for you, I am not looking for a Barbie to be with me I want a girl that understands me in every way and that she is comfortable with me always. You are the one, but I will understand If you don’t reciprocate my feelings…” I stare at him for a long moment and his deep sincere eyes are telling me that he is actually telling the truth. I don’t know what to say or feel at the moment, there are so many mixed feelings right now and they all can be translated to just plain happiness.

“You little …” I move forward and crash our lips together I take him by surprise and we fall to the grass,  but I don’t care I’ve been waiting for this moment for too long. He is shocked at firsts but responds to the kiss fast and wraps his arms around my waist squishing me in his arms. We break the kiss breathless “ since when have you been feeling the same way?!” he asks in a frustrated tone.

“Well….let’s say it’s been a really long time” I say with a small smile because I can’t just hide my happiness.

“You stupid! Why didn’t you tell me! I’ve been bottling up all this feelings for nothing!!” he says over dramatizing his words.

“You’re the stupid, nobody told you to bottle them up” I scoff jokingly.

“Well let’s be stupid together” he smiles and my heart skips a beat.

“Uhg, so cheesy, let me go” I joke and squirm to get off but he turns us and I end up under him. I look at him but his eyes changed, they are so filled of…

“Gosh, I love you” he says and leans in to kiss me and I let him wrapping my arms around his neck.

Maybe sometimes you shouldn’t bottle your feelings up.

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