Please listen to this: Kim Dong Ryul - 취중진담 (Drunken Truth)

Jongdae and Baekhyun had always been best friends and the closest since they met for SM audition. Knowing that Baekhyun also passed the audition, Jongdae congratulated him and quickly asked him to share room for their trainee days. After a few weeks of exhausting and feeling barely alive because of vocal and dance practices, Jongdae was told that he was going to debut soon with a large scale bilingual group. Baekhyun was happy for Jongdae and he decided that they had to celebrate it by eating chicken and drinking some beer. The next day, it turned out that Baekhyun was the last one to be added in that group. They hugged each other and cried together at night because they made it. They finally made it! They were going to debut together soon. 

They worked their asses off for almost three months because they didn’t have much time. They realized that they were last-minute added to the group. While the others already knew one another for their years of training, Baekhyun and Jongdae only leaned to each other until the manager said that they need to get along with other members too. They would promote separately though, so at least they needed to befriend with their sub-unit members. To people like Baekhyun and Jongdae, that was not a hard thing to do although Jongdae almost scared at first since there were four Chinese members in EXO-M. But eventually they got along well.

Early debut and promotion days were busier that they had thought. While EXO-M had some interviews that always made Jongdae nervous because his Chinese was very limited (the nervousness definitely up his energy, okay), EXO-K had to do the performances over and over again on music programs. But as the gloomy feelings and homesickness were getting into Jongdae on lonely nights, he would text Baekhyun and got a reply almost immediately telling him to go to bed because he had to work hard again tomorrow. Jongdae would smile and finally able to sleep. 

Baekhyun was pretty popular in Korea, Jongdae heard. The latter was happy because he knew Baekhyun deserved it. Baekhyun was a funny person, and he also had talent, not to mention his cute puppy face; of course Baekhyun would be popular with all things he had. About Jongdae, well… Jongdae was happy, happy because he could still read some comments about him. Like, who’s Chen? The Korean man? Oh, the one with great voice? His Chinese is weird. Well, people noticed him now. People noticed that he had great voice. 

One night when Jongdae scrolled through his Weibo account, tried to understand those Chinese words he barely knew, Kris entered their shared room – fresh out of the shower with towel hanging on his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Kris asked while drying his hair.

Jongdae didn’t tear his gaze from the laptop in front of him. “Umm… I was wondering how fans think about us in the last interview.” 

Kris approached the main vocalist and slightly bent over to look at his laptop. “They said it was funny and great. We didn’t look as nervous as before.”

“Did they say something about me?” Jongdae bit his lower lip. He knew; he realized that he wasn’t as popular as the other members. 

Kris took over Jongdae’s mouse and scrolled down the page. “Hmm, they liked your voice. Your pronunciation improved much.”

Jongdae smiled shyly. He was happy, really.

Kris chuckled. Sensing his dongsaeng’s insecurity, he ruffled Jongdae’s hair. “Don’t worry. It’s only the beginning. People will know that you have great voice as well as great personality. They will love you.”

Jongdae beamed. “Thanks, hyung.”

“If there’s anything, just talk to me, Jongdae-ya.” Kris said while walking to his closet.

.::.

By the time the promotion days in China was over and they were going to prepare new album, Jongdae couldn’t be happier. Because he knew that the upcoming album will be promoted by twelve of them. And that meant, he could be with Baekhyun more often. He was already imagining and expecting what he and Baekhyun would do when they were together. 

It wasn’t the first time EXO-M were coming home because sometimes they would come back home occasionally for some events they attended together. And every time Jongdae came home, Baekhyun will always be the first one who welcomed him with tight hug. That day was no different. Baekhyun also hugged Jongdae tight and said, “welcome home, Jongdae-ya.” 

Yeah, I’m home, Baekhyun-ah. I’m coming home to you. 

Other times when he came home for a short time, Jongdae didn’t realized. But now, the longer time they spent time together, Jongdae realized how close Baekhyun to Chanyeol. Oh. It was not that Jongdae minded Baekhyun’s closeness with Chanyeol; they – three of them – were same-aged friends. It was inevitable, Jongdae knew, because it was so easy to be close with Chanyeol. But still, Jongdae didn’t like what he was feeling –like he was punched in the gut. Being his cheery self, he was easily get along with what they finally called ‘beagle-line’. They even dragged along Kyungsoo with them. Jongdae always pretended that nothing had changed. Nothing had changed between him and Baekhyun, even though anytime he was going through hard time he no longer looked for Baekhyun. He would go to Kris and talked about his insecurity for being such a failure. 

It took almost two weeks for Jongdae to realize that he might fall in love with Baekhyun. Yeah, maybe he had always been falling in love with the his best friend. Now that he was aware of his feeling, all he could do just keeping it as secret; as Baekhyun perhaps liking someone else. 

.::.

“Hyuuung~ come on, let’s go to Han River!” Jongdae asked Kris who seemed seriously reading something on his tab. “You can play basketball there with Yixing hyung,” Jongdae didn’t give up begging the older man who ignored him to come with him and Yixing to Han River. When he was about to reach the leader’s arm, he heard the front door was slammed. Jongdae suddenly stopped; both he and Kris looked at the door.

“Who’s that?” Jongdae asked.

“Baekhyun. He’s called by the company. Something about important meeting.” Joonmyun who just sat beside Kris voluntarily replied. 

“Is something wrong?” Jongdae asked. He was really worried since he realized that Baekhyun seemed upset lately.

“I don’t know. Maybe he was offered some role for musical or maybe a drama.”

.::.

Later that night, Jongdae was laying on his bed, trying to get some sleep but he couldn’t. He was worried because it was past midnight and Baekhyun wasn’t home yet. He gripped his blanket, eyes wide, contemplating whether he should go after Baekhyun or not. Suddenly his phone rang, he quickly took it from his bedside table. It was Baekhyun.

“Hello, Baek?”

“Joooongdae-yaa~~ Jong—hicc—dae~”

“Baek? Where are you?” It was obvious that Baekhyun was drunk and Jongdae was worried as hell.

“Usual—hicc—place. Trainee—” 

Jongdae heard the loud thump from the other line. He guessed that Baekhyun’s phone fell down from his hand. He hurriedly took his wallet and coat and bolted out of the dorm.

In fifteen minutes, Jongdae found Baekhyun, slumped against the table in the corner of a 24 hours pojangmacha – a small tented restaurant by the street – where he and Baekhyun would go after a tiring practice during trainee days. Jongdae was glad because the place wasn’t crowded. There were only some ahjussi who didn’t seem to recognize them.
Jongdae sighed and walked to his friend after he paid for Baekhyun’s bill. “Baekhyun-ah,” Jongdae shook Baekhyun’s body to wake him up. 

Baekhyun stirred and slowly lifted his head. He mumbled something Jongdae couldn’t catch.

“Come on,” Jongdae pulled Baekhyun’s arm, “we should go home.”

Baekhyun draped his arm on Jongdae’s shoulder and leaned his body so Jongdae almost fell since they were about the same size. But Jongdae quickly put his arm around Baekhyun’s waist to support them from falling down. Before they exited the pojangmacha, Baekhyun managed to snatch the half empty soju bottle from the table. 

“Jongdae-ya,” Baekhyun called. His mouth was ghosting near Jongdae’s neck made the latter shivered. “Han River.” 

“But it’s late, Baekhyun-ah.”
“But I don’t want to go home yet,” Baekhyun whined and Jongdae sighed because he couldn’t say no when the former asked him like that. Jongdae led them to a quiet place near Han River where him and other EXO members were usually going after bicycling.
Once they were there, Baekhyun pulled away and sat on the ground with his legs bent to his chest. He put both arms on top of his knees and rested his head over his arms. Jongdae took a seat beside him with his legs stretched out and arms propped behind him. Baekhyun’s soju bottle was put between them.

“What’s wrong?” Jongdae shifted his head to look at Baekhyun. The latter was intensely staring at him. He looked a bit more sober now.

“They asked me to date.” Baekhyun muttered. “A sunbae. From our company.”

Jongdae stayed silent for a few seconds to register what his friend just said. “Oh.” Jongdae shrugged. “That’s… good?” He honestly didn’t know if he meant what he said. Baekhyun was asked to date someone from their company. So it was like, Baekhyun was forced? He was forced or not, Baekhyun would date her, anyways. The uncomfortable feeling was back and he didn’t like it a bit. He wanted to throw up. 

“I shouldn’t have said it. But yeah, I did. Maybe I’ll forget about this tomorrow. I’m drunk enough, I guess.” Baekhyun sighed then buried his head. “I don’t know if it’s a good thing. I like someone else.”

Jongdae almost blurted out his guessing but it felt bitter even before the name was coming out of his mouth. He felt guilty because he knew he shouldn’t have felt jealous like this. He grabbed Baekhyun’s soju bottle and gulped down almost the all of it before Baekhyun grabbed the bottle back. Jongdae was surprised but he wiped the remaining soju from his chin. “Why?”

“Don’t. I’m the one who’s supposed to get drunk.” Baekhyun gulped down the rest of it. 

Jongdae almost scoffed.

“Jongdae-ya,” Baekhyun called. He turned his head towards Jongdae. “It’s you.”

“W-what?” Jongdae stammered.

“Someone I like,” Baekhyun replied quietly. His gaze was back into the grass in front of him. His knuckles white from gripping the bottle too tight. “I—I want to sing something for you.” Baekhyun cleared his throat. He shifted from his seat so he could see Jongdae face-to-face.

“You’re right, I may be drunk~” Baekhyun started to sing and used the bottle as his microphone. It sounded almost like he was slurring but Jongdae could catch Baekhyun’s clear and melodious voice.

“This may be a mistake~” he sang every words very slowly, even slower than the original version.

“When morning comes… I may act like I don’t remember… and act uncomfortable around you…
But tonight… there is something that I absolutely have to say…
I apologize, for my current state…
But please don’t think that I am just saying this because I am drunk—”
Baekhyun stopped for a while. 


“Whenever… I am in front of you… 
I prepare myself to say this, but I always say the opposite thing, turn around and regret it,
But now I will declare to you, that I have loved you from the start—”

Baekhyun stared right into Jongdae’s eyes like he really meant what he sing. Maybe he did. And Jongdae once again fell for the man in front of him.

“I love you so much” he whispered and Jongdae almost couldn’t hear him.

“Even if my sloppy declaration, seems corny or unbelievable, it is not something I am just saying~
I’ll probably never do something like this again…
But as the night becomes light, I will hold you in my arms once again…”
Baekhyun turned his gaze to the grass.

“And tell you that I love you~”

Jongdae smiled because he remembered that it was the song they practiced together during trainee days. He hoped that one day he could sing this song together with Baekhyun on the stage where their fans cheer at them. It’s his favorite song. When Baekhyun looked up again, he continued his song.

“Why are you just smiling? Do you hear this as a joke?
Why are you not saying a word, but looking at me as you would a child?”


“Whenever… I am in front of you… 
I prepare myself to say this, but I always say the opposite thing, turn around and regret it,
But now I will declare to you, that I have loved you from the start—”

“I love you so much~” his voice cracked a bit maybe because he sang it desperately. Baekhyun was desperate to tell Jongdae about his feeling.

“Even if my sloppy declaration, seems corny or unbelievable, this isn’t something I say to just anyone, I’m not that kind of man~~” he slurred again and missed the notes but Jongdae couldn’t care less since it’s Baekhyun singing for him. Only him. 

Baekhyun once again lowered his head as he closed his eyes “I feel as awkward as you do, I can’t even look you in the eye…”

He took a breath, “I am sorry that I keep on saying, the same things I was saying earlier…
But tonight I’ll tell you everything~” his voice lost at the end but that didn’t matter.

Baekhyun lifted his hand to Jongdae, “I love you so much~”

“Even if my sloppy declaration, seems corny or unbelievable, it is not something I am just saying~
I’ll probably never do something like this again…
But as the night becomes light, I will hold you in my arms once again…
And tell you that I love you
I love you—” Baekhyun’s voice was fading at the end and he passed out. Jongdae quickly catched him and bring the drunken man back to their dorm.”

.::.

Baekhyun woke up with a horrible headache. He groaned and tried to get up from his bed. It’s been a while since he woke up feeling hangover like that. It’s 11 a.m and he was glad that that day was their day off. He tossed the blanket and headed to bathroom only to find that it was occupied. He then walked to the kitchen and saw Jongdae who just turned his head.

“Oh, you’re awake. Here’s soup for you,” Jongdae said then put a bowl of haejangguk (hangover soup) and a glass of water on the kitchen table. 

Baekhyun mumbled a thanks and drank his water. When he was about to spoon his soup, a hand laid on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong with you last night?” 

Baekhyun turned his head slightly, he was still having headache, really. It was Joonmyun. “Oh.” Baekhyun didn’t want to answer yet, so he ate up his soup. After he felt a bit more sober, he tried to remember what had happened last night. He remembered he was upset seeing Jongdae whining about going to Han River. He remembered when he got a call from the marketing director of the company and asked him to be there as soon as possible. He remembered when the director told him to go on a date with his own sunbae, his favorite one apparently. Oh well, he remembered that he was told not to tell anyone about this.

“You’re coming home drunk. So I thought if there was something wrong since you’re the only one who got called,” he seemed concerned and worried.

“Oh, that. That was… that was—”

“Evaluation, isn’t it? You got bad evaluation?”Baekhyun heard Jongdae helped him with an answer. It wouldn’t look good on him but he didn’t have any option so he was agree with Jongdae. He looked at Jongdae but the latter wasn’t look back since he was packing something to a food container, but Baekhyun could still see Jongdae’s mouth turn upwards.

“Yeah. I need to work harder, they said. I’m sorry, hyung.”

“It’s okay. You’ll do just fine.” Joonmyun patted his shoulder and smiled at him. Baekhyun only nodded and continued with his soup.

When Joonmyun left the kitchen, Jongdae looked up at him. “Baekhyun-ah, I’m going to the gym. Rest well, okay?”

Once Jongdae walked out of the kitchen, Baekhyun once again tried to recollect his memory about last night. Then it hit him hard when the memories of him singing his confession in front of his crush flooding in his mind.

“!” he unconsciously shouted it out, his head falling into his hand and he groaned because, how in the world he can lose control like that??

He knew nothing about Jongdae’s response since he didn’t remember anything after he sang the song. He was sure he passed out but he hoped he didn’t do anything stupid. He was afraid he would lose his best friend, but seeing how Jongdae treated him it didn’t seem like Jongdae hated him. It was more like Jongdae didn’t even hear his confession, like nothing had changed between them.

When Jongdae came home from working out, Baekhyun was munching some cookies while watching drama on TV with Sehun. Baekhyun let the slightly younger guy took his shower before he could confront the latter about what happened last night. 

After making sure that Jongdae was alone inside his room, Baekhyun entered Jongdae’s room. A squeal was heard when Baekhyun closed the door. Jongdae was in the middle of wearing his shirt, thank God he already wore his pants.

Jongdae finished putting on his shirt and turned around. “Oh, Baekhyun-ah! What’s wrong?” He sat at his bed and patted the space beside him.

“Uh, Jongdae. I want to talk about… last night?” Baekhyun was a bit hesitant. Truthfully, he was afraid of Jongdae’s rejection and even worse thing that might happen.

Jongdae furrowed his eye brows before he nodded his head. “Okay? Is it about the mission?” 

“What?” It’s Baekhyun’s turn to be confused. “What mission?”

“Hm, you know. The one that I should have not known?” Jongdae shrugged. When it seemed that Baekhyun still not get it, he tried once more. “Company mission?”

“Ahh, that. Yeah. I mean, no. No, I don’t want to talk about that,” Baekhyun paused and tried to take a glimpse of the man in front of him. He didn’t sit beside Jongdae. Instead, he took the chair and sat in front of him. “It’s about… that, the song.” Baekhyun bit his lower lip.

“Oh, about that. What’s wrong?” Jongdae remained calm and his face was unreadable. 

Baekhyun gaped. “What’s wrong? You—don’t you think you need to, well, give me answer?”

“I did.” Jongdae nodded and his reaction just made Baekhyun felt frustrated even more.

“But I don’t remember! Jongdae, don’t play with me,” Baekhyun started to whine. 

Jongdae chuckled, “I don’t even know if you’re serious or not. You were drunk.”

“I was serious! Do you want me to sing it again for you?” Baekhyun asked, wide-eyed and hope was apparent in his voice. He was more than ready to do that. 

“Okay, I believe you, Baek.” Jongdae smiled and patted Baekhyun’s shoulder. The touch almost made Baekhyun jumped for Jongdae always had that effect on him. Jongdae is electrifying, Baekhyun thought.

Baekhyun pouted. He wanted an answer, not a statement that Jongdae believed in his confession.

“Do you want me to sing it for you now?” Jongdae asked softly. The way he looked at Baekhyun was one of the things from Jongdae that made Baekhyun fell in love with the said man.

The question made Baekhyun moved to sit beside Jongdae. “Is it a ‘yes’?”

“Yes for what?” Jongdae leaned back slightly since the other was consuming his personal space.

Baekhyun leaned in until their lips were an inch apart. “Yes for me kissing you.” He could see Jongdae’s eyes widened. He only smiled and closed his eyes before he captured Jongdae’s lips. When he thought Jongdae didn’t intend to kiss him back, he pulled back. But Jongdae was quick to cupped his cheek and kissed him gently, so soft that Baekhyun could feel what the other man tried to deliver with his kiss. Baekhyun kissed back but when he was about to open his mouth, Jongdae retreated back. 

“There. Enough?” Jongdae was a little breathless and still looked at Baekhyun with that kind of gaze. 

“I thought you liked Kris hyung. Or Joonmyun hyung.”

“What? No. I thought you liked Chanyeol?”

“What?” Baekhyun laughed. He couldn’t believe his best friend – now lover?—thought that he liked Chanyeol. “You’re so silly.” Baekhyun rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Don’t blame me, you two were so lovey-dovey,” Jongdae said as Baekhyun circled his arms around Jongdae’s waist.

Baekhyun chuckled hearing the hint of jealousy from Jongdae. “Excuse me, but I was more lovey-dovey to you. And we will be even more lovey-dovey.” Before Jongdae could retort back, he tightened his hug and whispered on his boyfriend’s ear, “talk to me about everything. I know you hide some things from me.”

Jongdae nodded and put his arm around Baekhyun. “What about the mission?”

“We’ll figure it out later.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHEN!