A Note For You:

I've had this thing lying around in my docs for almost two years. Honestly have no idea what to do with it, so I'll just post it here. I was a SONE when I wrote this, a general kpop fan, and I knew Girls' Generation to as intimate a degree as anyone who had followed them for years. I don't know how many people who read this will understand it, if those who were fans around 930 are still around. If they still remember the emotions and minute details of the day and aftermath. I barely do. But I'll post this snippet for them, and for anyone who haven't yet realized what a true blow 930 was to a fandom of creators. This takes place in an quaint alternate universe of a coffee shop, where Jessica and Taeyeon decide to sit down and talk.

Enjoy.

     “I didn’t know what I wanted,” she struggles out, “I never did. I wanted to take a break maybe, to figure it all out? It had never even occurred—I never thought it would have turned out like how it did.”

     “So you got hurt.”

     “I was never even given a chance before the company just...” She inhales deeply. “I felt hurt, yes.”

     “Why were you so insistent on a break?” Taeyeon asks quietly, and it’s at that where Jessica finally looks away to stare out the window. She doesn’t even want to talk about it, but Taeyeon’s just sitting there, not doing a single ing thing, waiting.

     “It was like...” she starts breathily, rushing over her words, “It was like, one day I woke up. I woke up and suddenly I could see the future. I could see myself growing older and settling down and having a family. And it was terrifying as because I was halfway there to thirty, and I—I just couldn’t keep giving up my youth to this—immaturity. I needed a way out.”

     “Is that what it is?”

     She lets out a sigh. “I thought we had been getting somewhere with Mr.Mr.”

     “We were,” Taeyeon concedes, then quickly adds, “We haven’t exactly regressed...”

     “Lion Heart?”

     It’s Taeyeon’s time to sigh. “You Think.”

     “You Think is Stephanie.”

     Taeyeon shrugs in response, which is more or less a yes. Jessica’s mouth softly quirks up when she realizes the woman is giving her her victory, not the indifference that a scary handful of people often mistook it as.

     “I liked You Think. And Lion Heart, for that matter.”

     “You Think would’ve fit you.”

     “I’m aware.”

     Taeyeon nods and brings her coffee cup up to hide her smile. “Soonkyu misses you.”

     Jessica stills. She returns her gaze to the window. “I miss all of you.”

     “Soonkyu misses you,” Taeyeon repeats, her voice even, and Jessica suddenly hates it.

     “I miss Soonkyu,” Jessica says fiercely, turning back to meet Taeyeon’s gaze with eyes like liquid glass. “Stop this. Stop breaking me.”

     “I love you, Sooyeon.”

     “I know.”

     They both go quiet. Taeyeon fiddles with the handle of her cup as Jessica goes back to determinedly staring out the window, pressed into a hard line.

     “I love you too,” Jessica finally mumbles, blinking.

     Taeyeon gives her a tight smile. “I know.”

     “Good.”