Tell-Tale Signs Of Falling Slowly

Title: Tell-Tale Signs Of Falling Slowly
Genre: Romance, MusicAU, CollegeAU, idk.
Pairing(s): KaiSoo + minor:BaekYeol
Word Count: 20,182
Rating: PG-15
Description: Kyungsoo is the saddest song Jongin has ever seen play alone in a crowded place. It somehow captures his heart, and has him------

- Falling Slowly -

Jongin had never wanted a friend like Byun Baekhyun; all the wrong kinds of influences, the sort of things that are inconsequential and have little merit on his judge of moral character--that's not it, nor the point - the problem is--is that he likes fast food and staying up late and always giving up on things early.

Jongin is a young adult of early mornings, juicing fruits and vegetables, taking runs around campus with headphones in his ears and sweat being the consequence of his lean body and satisfactory muscles.

Baekhyun isn't much of any of these things, but that's okay.

Instead, he is always full of bad ideas, plans that are optimistic--but likely insufficient. Though this is not to say that the bouncy college roommate of wavy brown locks and puppy-dog eyes, isn't ever of pure intent; he's a good person, honestly--nice enough.

He's awfully giggly, and constantly, overtly insistent on things that Jongin is usually not all that interested in.

And this sort of dynamic has Jongin cramped in a small venue for live performances and college angst. He is another face in a mellow crowd for the hipster-inspired, self-discovery-influenced, vegan-approved type of event that renders him only half-interested in even being here, floppy little roommate traced in drug-store bought eyeliner buzzing by his side, lone acoustic guitars sitting against stools and microphone-stands on the stage before him.

Everyone here is a smoker, to some degree--it lingers on their clothes, cigarette smoke stuck in their hair. creeping in and out of his senses has him feeling mildly sick. Jongin is not a fan of this sort of thing, he hardly even drinks.

"Why do I let you bring me to these sort of things?" He says to no one in particular, gaze landing on multiple people and various things.

Baekhyun is the one responding beside him, eyes dancing across the crowded room all the same, content smile on his face. "Because--secretly, you understand that you are a basic, vanilla stick in the mud, and I am the spice that wakes you up in the morning with jokes and a one-hundred percent chance of sunshine and fun."

Jongin snorts, laughing just once and only once. "Ummm--" He brushes aside all the excess eccentrics and cuts to the lost hours of sleep at night thanks to his noisy friend. "--more like at night, you mean, right? Because you don't even exist in the morning--sleeping in until late afternoon all the time. Tch."

Baekhyun's eyebrows mimic his agreeing shoulders, understanding his night-owl ways and blaming it on, "Okay, I'm an insomniac. It's a disorder, so sue me."

"No," Jongin pushes back against a body that is bumping up against him. "you are a deliberate decision; you spend all of your night on the computer, doing god knows what."

"Not watching ." Baekhyun says, almost a little too intently, although it may be for comedic affect.

"Well, whatever you do," Jongin runs a hand through his dark-brown locks, parting his hair. "it's purely on you. You refuse sleep, and ultimately exhaustion onto yourself--not insomnia."

Baekhyun is quick about shushing Jongin with a wave then, dismissing defeat the moment his eyes land on Chanyeol making his way over toward them. "Oh! There he is!" He beckons Chanyeol over with an energetic wag of his hand.

"Hey," The tall delinquent of equally wavy brown locks greets, after maneuvering through the tight crowd. "wassup, Jongin?" He fist-bumps with said brunet, whilst slinking an arm around Baekhyun's petite shoulders in one fluid motion. "Looks like I made it in time, show hasn't even started yet."

"Yeah, not yet. Just about though, I think."

Baekhyun smiles up at both of them, "I'm really glad we decided to all do something--as a group, you know? Together." his eyes read as giddy, and with recollection in Jongin's mind, he particularly recalls not necessarily even having a choice - remembering someone practically begging him, earlier--whining, even. Puppy-dog pout and all.

He sighs, but is ultimately okay.

And when the lights begin to dim, Baekhyun giggles as he curls into Chanyeol's side, nuzzling into his warmth and letting his boyfriend allow lips to linger atop of his head, whispering inaudible promises and affections there, intimate act becoming something that Jongin thinks is bordering the lines of gag-inducing pda.

He would tell them to get a room or get lost, if the crowd wasn't already suddenly clapping and applauding the first performer, walking onto the low stage with an over-sized fuzzy sweater and tattered skinny-jeans as his outfit. Soft grunge.

It is a simplistic affair, venue for the low-profile artists and nobodies looking to even get that far; borrowed audio system, limited stage-lights, mismatched rugs from the 1990's positioned on the stage floor underneath instruments and tall sitting-stools.

And the lone singer stands in front of the settling crowd, waiting for everyone to slowly quiet down before the rest of the band is on stage and finding their positions behind a piano and picked-up guitars.

He barely lifts his eyes as he lingers before the microphone, hair swooping across his eyebrows, lips pouty and so plush beneath the soft light, expression so calm it makes Jongin wonder if he even realizes how many eyes are on him right now--if he even cares, if it even matters.

Irregardless, amidst all the cheap equipment and unflattering surroundings of the scuffed walls and withering band-flyers attached, the petite male in the center of the spotlight, is absolutely lovely. He's just a downcast beauty in the middle of filth, and somehow it strikes an internal cord deep inside. Jongin is rendered speechless even in his silence.

And when the music starts, the crowd is a mixture of dead quiet and subtle applause - as if they all know something that Jongin doesn't, as if they've all heard this song once or twice before - the strum of the first guitar fills the room, the second one joining in with a high twang that's steel and piercingly sorrowful.

I wanna hold--the hand in--side you...

His voice is of pure gloom, whimsical as such and so haunting as it echoes off of the walls and shakes Jongin to his core. The music is slow.

I wanna take--the breath that's--true...

He's never been one for sad songs and miserable ballads, but suddenly everything fades away and his expression is longing--as if he'd never been given a moment to himself in his life--the moment Do Kyungsoo sings the words that take him to a dream-like place - and suddenly he wants to understand solitude, reminisce about things that never happened.

He doesn't know if Chanyeol or Baekhyun are still beside him--doesn't even care, doesn't check to make sure. The doleful singer before him has him in a trance and the instruments seal his fate as much as his tender voice does. This is a sudden epiphany of something internal, an emotional light shining down on something that has Jongin paralyzed in wonder as the song progresses slowly.

I look to you--and I see--nothing...

He's beautiful. Like a wounded angel if Jongin's ever seen one, Do Kyungsoo sings with his eyes either aimed low or entirely closed - it's hard to tell, as he draws out the words and turns his head away from the mic when one line ends, leaning into his own shoulder and somehow harboring so much soft pain as he turns back to the mic and emits the next - he is the saddest beauty to ever captivate an entire room.

I look to you--to see the--truth...

Jongin can feel his mouth barely hanging open, eyes beginning to dry from un-blinking. And if only the mournful singer would lift his gaze, just once, give Jongin a glimpse of his mysterious eyes.

You live your life--you go in--shadows...

The piano in the background is a beautiful type of misery, and Jongin hangs onto the words that have him slowly letting go.

You come apart--and you'll go--blind...

Somewhere in his peripheral, Jongin notices Baekhyun nudge into him, "Isn't he great!?" he lightly calls over the music, smiling that bright Colgate smile whilst clinging to Chanyeol's bad arm--the one with the blue wrist cast, because Chanyeol broke his hand defending himself after getting jumped a few nights ago, matching band-aids on his cheek and brow.

"Y-Yeah..." Jongin provides, barely sparing a glance, too distracted by delicate features, won over by a fragile soul. "he's amazing..."

And when he sways - a vulnerable spirit tilting his head completely from left to right, slowly following the melody as if he is alone in an empty world, eyes still closed and face aimed toward the light - Kyungsoo is something that exists beyond what Jongin thinks he can touch.

He is other-worldly.

He is ethereal.

He's never experienced angst so enchanting before, a single being so prepossessing in melancholy, Jongin is infatuated. He wants to extend his arms and hold and caress; take care of so softly--of what he thinks is frail to the touch; be his everything, make him smile. Oh how badly he suddenly wants to see it.

Kyungsoo's voice lowers just a pitch as he continues.

Some kind of night--into your--darkness...

It's totally bizarre, because Jongin's never been this drawn to someone so instantaneously before. But it has him attempting to decipher what this truly means. How it makes him feel--why his heart beats faster when he thinks about letting this beauty get away.

Colors your eyes--with what's not--there...

And then, when the instrumentals all chime in together, Kyungsoo's voice levels out and he's grasping onto the microphone, letting the chorus slip out of him as if his soul were the written lyrics.

Jongin shivers as he accepts all the waves of soothing sorrow.

Faaaaade, innn--to you...

The music keeps pace with his voice, following Kyungsoo into some sort of celestial realm that makes Jongin's mind go numb, his heart washing ashore of a notion that urges him to chase after what isn't his yet.

And that's when Jongin realizes--wow, sad beauties... are kind of hot.

He's so lost in a daze and he loves it.

Straaaange--you neeever--knew...

In his mind, right now it's just him and Kyungsoo and the way he feels.

Faaaaade, innn--to you...

Jongin swallows something thick in his throat, it could be severe adoration, critical infatuation.

Straaaange--you neeever--knew...

And when it's all over,

when he's done,

when Do Kyungsoo finishes his set and the crowd gifts him with gracious cheer that shakes Jongin out of his reverie, the world comes back into view. The feeling comes back into his fingers, mouth shutting closed after he realizes his tongue has gone dry.

And then Do Kyungsoo is gone, an evanescent enigma that doesn't bask in the glorious applause, opting to not claim what is rightfully his and accept such unanimous praise.

Instead, he'd slinked left off stage with downcast eyes, nervously nibbling on his thumb, long fuzzy sleeves clutched over his knuckles, so delicate and so shy as he disappears out of Jongin's life as quickly as he'd appeared. It's endearing, Kyungsoo's introvertedness and bold talent.

And in the moment that the lights slowly brighten, Jongin suppresses panic with a wandering gaze, eyes chasing after what is already out of sight. Baekhyun goes on rambling about something he doesn't hear, but in the midst of the buzz and anticipation for the next artist, Jongin has only one voice still in his head.

It belongs to a wounded angel with soft, pouty lips and downcast eyes.

I think it's strange--you never knew...

Jongin goes on into the on-coming nights with dreams of an elusive beauty, one who sings sad songs and won't look his way.

He wakes up early in the morning, sitting up slowly and telling himself that he can't rest until he knows him.

"B-Be my angel..."

It is only a whisper he hardly notices he's released into the silence.

I've Been Let Down

Having Do Kyungsoo before him - seeing him, meeting him in person for the first time - why--it's like a whack over the head with something heavy and way too dense to not end up seeing stars because of it. Maybe that's just Do Kyungsoo's natural beauty, maybe it's blinding.

And this wasn't how he'd wanted it to happen, Jongin had hoped to be a little more suave than this - sputtering with a double-take as he is on his way out of his apartment complex, walking down the hall as Do Kyungsoo is rounding an opposing corner in front of him.

"Y-Y--You...Y-You're Do Kyungsoo." He says it stupidly, says it like an idiot, even points a feeble finger.

Kyungsoo looks up at him, a little slowly, naturally languid with his dainty limbs that are draped in soft grunge clothing that accentuate how incredibly petite he is. Jongin almost marvels at how small he is, so ethereal and concentrated into one pretty little being, when Jongin had initially thought Kyungsoo to be a little bit taller looking when on stage.

Kyungsoo stops a little ways from him, keeping distance. "I am." He says, one headphone hanging from his ear, messenger-bag slung across his chest and sweater with long sleeves only showing the tips of his fingers as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other.

"How do you know me?"

Jongin had been on his way out, gym bag hanging from one shoulder; sleeveless hoodie and basketball-shorts type of casual. His workout can wait. Right now he is staring beauty in the face and--he's right, it really is blinding. Kyungsoo looks so stunning up close.

"I-I saw your performance." Jongin replies, attempting to be composed, shifting on his feet now as well. Kyungsoo's face shows recognition, barely nodding as he mouths Oh, before then averting his gaze. Jongin offers with a gesture; "I-It was good." He's so awkward. "Y-You were great. Really." His voice fades into something inaudible. "You were great..."

And then it gets really awkward.

Kyungsoo looks like an unsure bunny rabbit caught in the presence of a wolf, subtly the strap of his bag in his hands as he keeps his eyes aimed low, even though Jongin only means to come in peace and maybe win said angel over with soft affections and honest words of true emotions.

He wants to say something, wants to convey to Kyungsoo things that keep him up at night. What he wants.

He'd really like to ask Kyungsoo out on a date, he even clears his throat for it.

But Kyungsoo looks so timid and fragile, unreasonably forlorn and anxious about what comes next, so Jongin says what isn't in his heart--says to him, clearing his throat again, "D-Do you--um, do you live here? You, uhh, attending Hanyang-U also?"

It almost pains him to not tend to the crestfallen beauty with outstretched arms at the ready. But he knows he mustn't be too forward, things of such delicacy take time, Kyungsoo is not a thing you rush into, he is a complex cold that Jongin must understand before attempting to catch and come down with.

"No." Kyungsoo says simply, looking a little more relaxed now. "My boyfriend does though. He lives here in this building, I'm just stopping by to visit him."

Oh... okay...

Well then...

"I see..." Jongin can feel his ambition deflate and sag in his chest, stance looking a little less tall and firm in the artificial light of the hallway. And Kyungsoo notices this with a subtly raised eyebrow. It makes Jongin look away toward the inane hallway pictures hanging on the walls.

"You have a boyfriend..." Jongin adds, dumbly, words falling out of his mouth slowly.

Kyungsoo tilts his head to the side, like a mystical creature--so rare. "Yeah?" He retorts with purpose--with intent--urging Jongin to further elaborate on such a sluggish clarification.

"Yeah." Jongin repeats, "I just--" he scratches at his brow, adjusting the strap on his shoulder. "--I thought. I dunno. I just thought you'd be single."

At this, "Oh?" Kyungsoo's brows furrow--perhaps a little bit offended. "And why would you assume I would be single?" There is a slight edge to his words, the most adorable type of underlining demand for an explanation.

Jongin chuckles--mostly to himself--waving his hands before him in surrender, "No no no," He gives Kyungsoo a smile--even if it hurts. "It's not that." He promises. "I guess I was just hoping you would be single."

Kyungsoo stands still, eyebrows raising. "Oh."

"Yeah." Jongin replies nonchalantly with a shrug, shoving his hands in his pockets, not expecting anything from the angelic creature before him. "Truthfully, I kind of just think that you're gorgeous and would've done anything to take you out on a date."

Mouthing out another quiet Oh, Kyungsoo's mouth hangs open, eyes still everlastingly droopy with dispositional glum--although the slight moments of surprise on his face, he thinks, is really cute. Jongin softly kicks at dust in the hallway, accepting defeat.

"But it's okay," Jongin has always been a straight-forward kind of guy. After-all, he isn't a little boy anymore, he's a grown man who can admit his infatuations without blushing or having to keep lovesick secrets in the form of scribbles on notebook pages. "you already have a boyfriend, so... that's okay."

And at this, Kyungsoo can't help but bite his bottom lip to hold back a smile. He chuckles once. "You wanted to be my boyfriend?" He asks, out in the open and surprisingly more forward than what was expected.

Jongin can only shrug, smiling in return. "I would have at least, liked to have had a chance, ya know. I'll be honest."

And Kyungsoo's sudden giggle is the most satisfying sound Jongin's heard all week, once it echoes off the walls.

"That's cute." The small brunet says, a bashful smile on his face as he looks down at his shifting feet, strap of his bag held tight in both hands. "I'm flattered. Really."

"Yeah, well. I figured I needed to find you and--uhh, let you know, you know? Even if it was the last thing I did."

And at Jongin's words, a moment goes by, a silent one where Kyungsoo is no longer gracing him with a smile, just a blank stare with indecipherable eyes and a stillness in his stance. Jongin finds it as good a time as any, to quit while he's barely ahead, and leave while he's still got any sense of dignity left to hold him in a decent light.

He moves past Kyungsoo with a kind smile and a single wave, facing him all the while. "Well, anyway--" He says whilst walking backwards now down the hall. "--it was nice meeting you, Kyungsoo. Hopefully I'll--" He falters for a nano-second. "--uhh, see you around sometime, or something."

And there it is, dignity lost.

Jongin internally cringes as he bids farewell, turning to proceed around the corner from which Kyungsoo came.

But he doesn't see Kyungsoo ponder, doesn't see his face contemplate a multitude of things in his mind as he stands there, watching Jongin leave whilst examining the carpeted floor, looking as if something from inside of his small form is about to bubble up and call out with an urgent tone--something sudden, something bold, something desperate and out of character--w-wait!

"I-I'm performing at the Wake Up Cafe this Saturday night." Kyungsoo calls out after Jongin, just as the lean male is about to round the corner.

Jongin back-pedals with his hand on his bag-strap, look in his eyes curious while also surprised.

"Y-You can come..." Kyungsoo relaxes his shoulders, voice softening. "If you'd like..." There is a pause. "I mean, It'd be cool if you came and what-not. If you'd like."

It takes a moment for Jongin to register what he's saying, looking on in wonder and momentarily dazed by the offer.

But then he is smiling softly, nodding his head in return, providing Kyungsoo with a kind,

"Sure."

He has to shove his hands into his pockets, lest he look too excited.

"I would love to."

And then, the awkwardness sets in again.

"Alright." Kyungsoo says, biting his lower lip. "Cool."

Inane exchanges sounding like awkward excuses for a tricky goodbye.

"Alright." Jongin replies while back-pedaling again. "Well, then I guess I'll see you then."

Kyungsoo nods, and he looks so small from far away.

"Yeah. See you then."

And then he's gone. Jongin hating the feel of goodbye.

Still....

Falling...

Breathless--and on...

Again.

Jongin hates how it's Wednesday, agitated and withering with eagerness--for the sight of a reclusive beauty that doesn't need him.

He has a boyfriend...

Jongin broods over this endlessly throughout the days, wobbling a mechanical pencil between two fingers against his desktop in the middle of class, sitting slumped back and sitting wide, jaw set, mind miles away and only on one winter flower that's small but fully bloomed and far too beautiful to ever let it slip his mind.

It's complicated, because Kyungsoo can't be his, is the thing.

Of course he has a boyfriend...

He festers over this, staring deeply into nothing in particular as he sits at the corner of his bed, hunched over and lifting a single weight in his hand repeatedly, up and down, grunting occasionally. His tv is playing a movie he likes before him, but he's already preoccupied with something else on the mind that he likes far more.

Of course a beauty like that is never left unattended...

Wednesday, he can't get over it.

Wednesday, is not his day. Tuesday had come as a day with an unpleasant surprise.

Do Kyungsoo... he already has a boyfriend... ...

But Thursday he recovers from the icy burn, barely smoldering now as he ceaselessly lets his mind wander to one particular angel that has him lingering toward sleepy songs and ethereal images in the night. Of course, dreams of him are unavoidable, but waking up in the morning doesn't have Jongin reaching for things that aren't there like he'd used to. He only tightens his fists.

Thursday, Baekhyun comes home with groceries that Chanyeol ultimately carries, even with his left hand still in a cast and band-aids on his face.

"Jongin," Baekhyun sighs dramatically, stopping in the living-room with hands on his hips, head tilted to the side because Jongin is still right where he'd left him. "are you really gonna continue sulking about your lost crush?"

With a grunt, Jongin propels himself forward and up into a sitting position on the couch, taking his arms away from over his eyes and pulling a tank-top on over his bare chest.

He sighs, "I think I really liked him, okay?" nearly pouting but then thinking better of it. Not a good look--Chanyeol would give him for it with a smirk if he did, and that's not an ideal afternoon in his opinion, especially when he's still mildly bitter.

Baekhyun huffs, and then decides to mosey on over, so that he can flop down onto the couch next to Jongin, saying, "But... you barely even knew him." There is a dainty leg crossed over the other, hands folded elegantly there. "You met him--what--all of once?"

"Ugh. I know--I know." Jongin stands from his spot with hands in his hair, fingers raking through it and pulling where his mind won't let him go. "I dunno, I just--the moment I saw him...I dunno, he... he got me good."

"And now you've got it bad." Chanyeol calls over from the kitchen with wiggling brows, putting things away in cupboards and cabinets.

Jongin doesn't tell him he's wrong.

"I-It's like... I-I don't know--I can't shake him. His voice, that face, my natural sense for feeling like I need to protect him, I-I can't help it. He haunts me."

Chanyeol saunters over, pulling his sagging, slim-fit jeans up by the belt-buckle. "Dude, look." He says, looking Jongin in the face. "Honestly, there really ain't much you can even do about it now. The little babes already got a man, and frankly, if it were me--and if my little honey had another guy chasing after his affections--" He glances over at Baekhyun still sitting idly by. "well, it would be about time I'd be getting myself into another fight--if ya know what I'm sayin'."

"Yeah," Jongin nods, already knowing what he means, translating it as; "don't do anything stupid."

"Don't--" Chanyeol says, pointedly, "--go stealing another man's main-squeeze, ya heard?"

At this, Jongin can't help but roll his eyes along with a sigh, blowing air up through his fringe, almost whining--but still thinking better of it, for manly reasons.

And when Baekhyun gets up to start making dinner, and Chanyeol notices Jongin's frustrated displeasure, said tall lanky male of wavy brown hair pulls Jongin into a headlock, laughing all the while.

"H-Hey, C-Ch--Chanyeol, w-what the man--"

"See, this is what's gonna end up happening if you try to steal Do Kyungsoo away;" Chanyeol declares amusedly with a tight grip around the other's neck, Jongin groaning but entirely used to their rough-housing antics. "his boyfriend is gonna kick your ."

It's been a while since he and Jongin have wrestled, but said male is ready for a rematch, and when Jongin breaks free, he has a triumphant smirk on his face and a defiant look in his eye. "Tch. Fat chance. I could probably take him. Any day of the week."

Squaring off, half-crouched and dancing around each other, Chanyeol laughs, "Oh yeah, twinkle-toes? You so sure? You can barely even take me--even with my bum- hand right now."

"Well c'mon then, -stain, let's do it." Jongin adorns a matching smirk, both males filled with too much adrenaline and too much testosterone for their own good, in Baekhyun's opinion. "C'mon, come at me bro!"

"Go on, make the first move, ."

"Nah, ladies first. What, you scared?"

He's got a bad feeling about this in the kitchen from where he watches with an eye-roll, Baekhyun busy laying out potatoes onto a cutting board with a knife in his right hand. "Guys," He calls out, already whining and recalling past casualties at the hands of their playful aggression. "please no more wrestling in the house!"

They don't listen to him.

"You guys might end up--"

Someone falls - or is tackled to the ground - but there is a thud, and something expensive breaks with a crack.

"Ow--s---!"

Baekhyun halts his choping and squeezes his eyes shut with a very, very long sigh.

"--breaking... something. Again."

Friday is a frustration, it's a tease of tomorrow and Jongin has to sweat off his anticipation with a longer run than usual around campus.

He's sore from wrestling with Chanyeol, Baekhyun still pissed at him about no longer having a level coffee table to use anymore - two left-over telephone books having to be stuck underneath one of the legs to even set anything stable down onto the surface - but it's all okay, because essentially, feeling sore and being in the dog-house, is better than being left alone to think about longing thoughts.

Friday is a frustration - which is ironic, Jongin thinks, because Friday is most people's favorite day of the week - but he can't wait for it to be over. He needs it to pass, and quickly.

And he tries to make it go by faster, by doing a ferocious amount of crunches on the living-room floor, while Baekhyun is curled up on the couch watching Korea's Next Top Model for the fourth hour in a row, a bag of chips by his side and less than legitimate model-opinions thrown out at the screen.

"I think she could have done better, she's a total no-neck monster in that photo. See, what she needed to do, was--"

Jongin huffs and puffs and whispers counts as he ignores Baekhyun's 'expert' advice, and waits for the night to commence and bring him closer to tomorrow, bringing him closer to seeing Do Kyungsoo again.

He knows he can't have him...

But he still can't help but day-dream,

wonder,

thinking about what it could be like,

what those lips must feel like and how soft his skin could be beneath his fingertips.

It's so frustrating. Saturday night seems so incredibly far away.

"Ugh, goddamnit! I can never find the eliminated model in the pack before her picture fades away at the end! Gahh!"

This Is My Five String Serenade

He's already singing once Jongin gets there.

Sitting on a tall stool in front of a microphone towards the back of the cafe, soft stage lights aimed his way, Do Kyungsoo is a beautiful mystery all over again. Jongin finds himself frozen in awe the moment he steps into the cafe and spots him.

And Kyungsoo--his voice. Jongin can't explain it, but every time he hears him and the way he sings, it casts a spell on him and has him immobile with furiously infatuated thoughts. It's a lovesick notion. He's nostalgic over things that have never even happened all over again. Kyungsoo captures him. Everytime.

I can't believe, how you slurred at me
With your half-wired broken jaw

You popped my heart seams
On my bu-bble dreamsss, bubble dreamsss

The place is surprisingly crowded, with groups of people at each table and a multitude of others standing along the walls, leaning there and watching someone so small make such a statement so big. It's beautiful heartbreak, a sad song that's painful but alluring.

Jongin hurries himself over to a spot where he can see Kyungsoo perfectly, hear him clearly, long for him even more than he has before.

And ultimately five minutes late with Baekhyun by his side, small male out of breath from running all the way from their distant parking spot down by the American Apparel and Bubble-Tea shop, fiddling with his sweater slung over his arm and hair self-consciously being fixed every few seconds, away from his eyeliner-traced eyes, Jongin had chastised him for being the one to make them late.

"You just had to spend fifteen minutes on your eyeliner alone, didn't you?" He'd said whilst dragging the smaller down the street as fast as he could.

"Well, I'm sorry! I accidentally got it in my eye and so I started tearing up, which messed up all my hard work and then I had to start all over! Can you slow down please!? I'm gonna end up breaking a sweat here!"

In the end, Jongin thinks it's all because of his friends poor choice in diet and lack of physical exercise he gets; the reason why he hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Kyungsoo before he went on stage.

The fleeting thoughts of what could have been, leave Jongin momentarily bitter, until the ethereal beauty crooning in the spotlight, has him succumbing to graceful sorrow and lyrics that sooth him into a crestfallen haze. Chills run down his spine, heart beating fast. His fingers twitch and he doesn't know when he'd stopped blinking--just staring.

I can't believe, how you looked at me
With your Johnnie Walker eyesss

He's gonna get you, and after he's through
There's gonna be nooo, looove, left, to, ryyye

He doesn't look up into the light, doesn't show his eyes to the crowd again when he sings.

He's got shades on over his eyes this time, and Jongin can't help but wonder if this is what makes Kyungsoo most comfortable in front of a crowd, if this is him hiding from the world in plain sight. Or if this is him traveling to a different place, going somewhere internally when he sings and letting his natural talent take over, looking down and away from the crowd, lost in his own realm of long notes and slow instrumentals.

And I know that It's complicated
But I'm a loser in love--So baby,
raise a glass to mend

All the broken hearts of
all my ed up friends

Jongin can't help but wonder what kind of life Kyungsoo has lived. What kind of loves has he known? His songs are so sad, his heart sounds like it's broken, or at least has been one too many times before. It makes Jongin wish he could do something about it, swoop in and be his hero, make him smile, save him from his world of sadness and turn him into a happier tune.

But he doesn't forget--can't help but remember; that he has a boyfriend. Kyungsoo isn't single...

Subconsciously, Jongin spares a few glances around the room, looking for potential men that could be the one lucky bastard who gets to go home with an angel every night. He is nothing but a scrutinizing gaze amidst a voice of beauty, scanning the room and reducing everyone in sight as variations of absolute unworthiness.

No. Nope. Counting off the fraterinty jocks and bearded indie snobs lingering about, Jongin finds everyone unworthy. Not him. Definitely not that guy. And surely not him. Couldn't be that guy either. Kyungsoo would never go for eyebrow-piercing-guy, would he?

"Ahem," Baekhyun gives him a light nudge, "why are you glaring at everyone?" he whispers, following Jongin's heated gaze.

"Kyungsoo's boyfriend might be here." He says plainly, still scanning the room.

Baekhyun crosses his arms, but doesn't look pissed. "Oh my god, you're not going to challenge him to a fight, are you? Because that's totally such a Chanyeol thing to do you know--and honestly, as much as I love my Chanyeollie, which I do, a lot--you should never let anything he does rub off on you. I mean, he got jumped in the middle of the night, broke his hand, and loved every minute of it. Like, who does that? What kind of idiot--"

"Don't worry," Jongin interjects, looking down at Baekhyun for a split-second, cutting off his rambling. "I'm not going to fight him. I'm just... curious, as to who gets to have what I wish I could."

"Awww," Baekhyun bats his lashes, "Jongin. You're so romantic." he says it with a giggle, and Jongin can't tell if he's teasing him or not.

But it doesn't matter, because once Jongin is turning his gaze back onto the angel in the light, everything else fades away. It happens again all in slow-motion, all in the same situation, all over again--this moment, what Kyungsoo does to him. In his mind, it's just him and Kyungsoo and the way he feels. Nothing, and no one else.

And after all the boys,
and the girls that we've been throughhh

Would you give it all up?
Could you give it all up...?

If I promised--boyyy--to youuu

Jongin likes looking at him, likes listening to him sing. But he wonders how broken he is.

Arms crossed, leaning against the wall, Jongin bites the skin on his lip in a special type of sympathy. He tells himself, makes himself a promise; if Kyungsoo is broken like he conveys he might be--in the form of only sad songs and vulnerable crooning that echoes about the rooms he occupies--Jongin will fix him.

He'll heal his heart if it is hurting.

Sometimes this sort of affinity that clings to the ambiguously mutual atmosphere between curious strangers is love waiting to happen.

An on first sight type of phenomenon - Jongin would interpret this as nothing else. It has to be. This must be what he's feeling.

Kyungsoo has stolen his heart.

Some men may follow me
But you choose death and company

The music slows it's pace, the silence slinking back in.

Why you so speechless?... Ohh--oh, ohhh...

Jongin, motionless amidst the crowds respectful applause, holds onto the lyrics, and can't help but wonder the same thing.

His mouth still barely hangs open. And then Kyungsoo is gone.

"You are about as elusive as a hazy dream, you know that?" Jongin ends up saying, the moment he steps outside of the cafe and finds Kyungsoo smoking a cigarette there, against the brick wall beside the large white-framed window, out of sight from the mingling within.

"You actually came." It sounds partially like a question.

Kyungsoo turns his way, but his eyes are still hidden behind shades, even in the cover of night.

Jongin had undergone a familiar panic again, when Kyungsoo had snuck off stage and left through a door in the far back corner. And feeling like a helpless puppy-dog who suffers from separation anxiety, Jongin had fidgeted and shifted awkwardly on his feet, lingering and scanning the room for a glimpse of Kyungsoo reemerging like the mythical creature he sometimes seems to be.

The show had ended, but Jongin refused to leave so soon. Baekhyun had been hugging his sweater in his arms, looking up at Jongin and asking with a long pause, "Well... now what?"

He told himself he'd give it fifteen more minutes - no sight of Kyungsoo by then and he would throw in the towel, give up for now, and go home.

But leaving is what reunites them. Jongin takes an unsure step toward Kyungsoo, averting his gaze and feigning casualness.

"I said I would come and see you perform, didn't I?" Jongin offers light-heartedly.

Kyungsoo nods, behind his dark shades and soft flicker of nicotine flames. "Hm. That is true." And then a short silence ensues, Jongin swaying with a small step forward, looking out into the street whilst wringing his hands and pondering what to say next.

But Kyungsoo beats him to the punch, when he says so suddenly, "I never got your name, by the way."

He falters with a stutter of nothing, realizing he'd forgotten to properly introduce himself before. So he tells him--Kyungsoo, "Oh--uh. I'm Jongin." He offers his best smile, also offering his hand while closing the distance. "Kim Jongin. Your number one fan." Way smooth. Idiot. He regrets his decision, but lightly chuckles anyway to cover it up.

And if Kyungsoo is unimpressed, it doesn't show in his smile and return of the handshake. "Nice to meet you, officially, Jongin."

His hands are so soft, so small. Something delicate. Jongin marvels for a moment.

And he would day-dream longer, let his heart go on pounding severely in his chest for the remainder of their interactions, but Kyungsoo lets his shades slip down the bridge of his nose for a moment.

And it's not the beauty of his eyes that renders Jongin speechless with a gasp, it's the hue of blue that taints the flesh of Kyungsoo's left eye that leaves Jongin shattering like glass. He sure didn't have that the last time Jongin saw him.

Kyungsoo retracts his hand faster than the speed of light, shades readjusted, posture recoiling into his own space and cigarette sitting void of an inhale. He leans back against the wall now, avoiding eye-contact and wordlessly withdrawing from further conversation.

Jongin stands on, staring for a little longer than he should, feeling like he'd already failed an angel that isn't even his.

"H-How did that happen?" Jongin lets fall from his lips. "I-I got a pretty nasty bruise on my shoulder the other night from rough-housing with my friend Chanyeol..." Jongin blankly gestures in Kyungsoo's general direction. "but that--that's not from your everyday piece of living-room furniture."

There's utter silence. Until Jongin is speaking more seriously, saying--

"Who did that to you?" He looks angry now. Eyebrows hard and eyes flickering like the tiny embers in Kyungsoo's cigarette, Jongin clenches his fists.

Kyungsoo wraps arms around himself, feigning indifference whilst looking elsewhere. "Can you not?" He almost sounds annoyed, but Jongin knows it's hidden distress. "It's nothing. Just an accident." The small beauty holds a hand to his chest, "It's my fault, honestly. I wasn't being careful."

"Or," Jongin gives him a hard stare. "someone wasn't being careful with you."

And that's when Kyungsoo pushes off of the wall, visibly upset even behind his black shades and well-composed facade. Jongin makes a move to stand firm in his spot, not letting Kyungsoo walk past him and leave without an answer.

But someone else is already there, interrupting the moment and appearing with a curious tone in their voice, "Whoa--hey," says the sudden, tall male who reaches out and pulls Kyungsoo to his side. "what's goin' on here?" His hair is golden, his eyebrows are sharp, Jongin already knows that--that must be Kyungsoo's boyfriend.

He doesn't try and hide his displeasure from the stranger. To which Kyungsoo - Jongin can tell by his expression - is not happy about it.

"It's nothing, Kris." Kyungsoo says, trying to usher him along. "C'mon, let's just go."

"No, there is definitely something." Jongin quickly interjects, hard stare and fists clenched tight.

"I'm sorry," Kris turns to him, brows furrowed. "and who are you?"

The smallest of the three attempts to brush the interaction under the rug, lightly pulling Kris by the arm and assuring him, "It's no one, babe--" He gives Jongin a dark look and flicks his cigarette onto the pavement in front of him, "--just my number one fan." he practically spits.

And then they are gone, Jongin standing there with fire in his veins and a sick feeling in his stomach.

He lets the cool air of night calm him down, and by the time Baekhyun is done reacquainting with old high-school friends inside the cafe, the smaller is tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Is everything alright?" Baekhyun asks curiously, looking out into the direction Jongin is glaring in.

"Yeah," Says said tall male, "sort of."

And then he steps on the cigarette that Kyungsoo had flung out at him, putting out the flames.

However, it doesn't dull the flame that burns inside of him.

Common Burn

That's still burning me

The ground sways beneath his feet, nothing feeling all too stable lately. Jongin loses himself in regret.

Silence is a buzz in his ear and the walls seem to whisper things of criticism these days, reminding him of how much he's possibly gone and ed things up with Kyungsoo. He'd looked so angry, the last time Jongin had seen him. And it's been a month.

Like a dreamless night awoken with no recollection, Jongin doesn't see Kyungsoo, and doesn't fall victim to the things that enthrall him.

There are no run-ins. No performances at small venues near campus to speak of. Jongin wouldn't know how to hear about such things in the first place, anyway.

So he withers in self-assessment, overdosing on regret.

And in these times of quiet retrospect, staring up at the ceiling in the middle of the night, sitting alone on a bus with his hair pressed against the glass as he watches the lights pass him by, a lone student passing through the campus courtyard with headphones in his ears, Jongin realizes he's never felt this way about anyone before--until Kyungsoo.

It's such a thorough feeling. He's doused in determination whenever he thinks of him. He wants nothing more than to be able to claim him as his own; be his boyfriend.

And the only other time Jongin thinks he has liked someone this much before, could be from when he was with Luhan.

His past days of high-school glory have always been his favorite memories of reckless living and late weekend nights spent with his friends, absolutely up to no good and popular beyond belief. He'd been a jock with an artistic side, a friendly disposition and a kind smile made him likeable with everyone, even the school faculty.

He and Luhan had been lingerers in each other's world for years, a duo of attractive looks and mutual friend-circles, it made interactions between them a thing of constant occurrence.

Luhan had been a radiant flower in the middle of spring, and Jongin, a blinding ray of sunshine in the middle of summer. It was no wonder that Luhan would turn and lean his way with warm smiles and instances of natural photosynthesis.

He played basketball and specialized in dancing for school-productions, while Luhan was the social butterfly who everyone wanted to sign their year books and take selfies with out on the grass during lunch-period.

Fate had brought them together too many times to count, and romance was an inevitable eventuality.

But Jongin wanted freedom, wanted to be able to turn left when he wanted to, or hang with the boys if he felt like it. He wanted to kiss and touch Luhan, throw his arm around him and have him as nice arm-candy in the hallways, a sure date for dances and zero plans on weekend nights, but he didn't want the commitment.

Luhan wanted to hold Jongin's hand, today, tomorrow, and the day after that. He'd expressed how he had wanted to change his relationship status on his Myspace page, but Jongin still saw so many other little fishies in his sea of possibilities. He liked to be able to have a different beauty in his bed every Saturday if he could.

And Luhan could only exist in waiting - waiting, for Jongin to slow down and maybe shine his love in Luhan's direction.

But even flowers move on from the sun when they don't get the love they need. Passion dies, and so did Luhan's patience.

And it's not that Jongin hadn't liked Luhan--he'd liked him a whole lot, on the contrary. He'd like how pretty Luhan was, the way his light accent made him regal and adorable. He was naturally funny, smiled wide with endearing eyes and always had something interesting or quirky to say. Jongin liked him, he could have even loved him, if he wasn't too busy refusing to notice it.

But Jongin was never the sun in the middle of summer. He was the busy bee who wanted to travel to all of the flowers to pollinate where he could. And Luhan was the neglected Lily.

In the end, when Jongin realizes his true feelings too late - after the new student swoops in on their senior year and steals Luhan away, the one named Oh Sehun, the guy with the hard stare and broad shoulders - Luhan ultimately ends up as the one that got away.

And these days, Jongin only knows a few things on how Luhan is doing. Social media posts keep him up to date with what's happening and what's of viral-video importance.

But apparently he's happy, things seem to be going great. Luhan is getting married in the middle of April, which makes sense, because spring has always been his season. Sehun is a lucky son of a . And a posted photo with a -ton of likes on it, tells Jongin that Sehun - that lucky bastard - was man enough to get down on one knee in the middle of a crowded restaurant and propose to Luhan a question with a diamond-ring type of promise.

It's a thing of love, and maybe a missed opportunity, if he's honest.

All of this washes over Jongin, helpless in contemplation.

And the silence is an annoying buzz these days, the walls whispering ceaseless criticism.

He has to do something about it.

Luhan was the one that got away.

And Jongin won't let that same kind of mistake happen twice.

Send me the dreams of your candy wine

I got just one thing I can't give you

Just one more thing of mine

He'd snapped at Baekhyun--and felt the pang of guilt the moment he'd smacked the smaller's hand away.

Baekhyun had only wanted to help, and he knows this, Jongin didn't meant to come off so harsh. He would never mean to hurt feelings nor raise a hand to delicate beings like Baekhyun.

But the overtly attentive hands and softly inquiring words had drove Jongin mad; are you okay? Do you need anything? Is there something special you would like me to make? Anything I can get you? Do you want the last of my ice-cream? I'll share... Why have you been so down lately? Is it because of--

"Stop it!" Jongin had barked, "I said I was fine, now would you cut it out!?" swatting away at what he shouldn't--to which, Chanyeol sure did not appreciate.

Baekhyun had clutched at his hand, hurt glimmering in his eyes - and Chanyeol is often only as threatening as a Poodle, at best, but when it comes to his baby Beagle of bouncy brown locks, Chanyeol is quick to become a raging Pitbull with a human problem - and that is when Jongin had decided to make his leave, thinking it best to go out for a long walk to reflect over what he's done.

Baekhyun had retreated into the arms of his colossal boyfriend with a pout and downcast gaze.

Chanyeol is scariest when he abruptly stands up and delivers such ferocious stares that imply sure death - Jongin supposes that's love.

And timing isn't everything.

Although, Jongin still believes that everything does happen for a reason, it's just that not everything happens at the right time. He thinks that the beautiful thing about it is; there is no right time--what's right is the feeling, and when that's real, that's everything.

But god... ing... damnit... his timing is either perfect and accidentally on-point, or it is terrible and horrible and a multitude of other synonyms that do dreadful justice. Because the moment he steps out into the hall and is about to take off for a walk in self-reflective solitude, Kyungsoo is there, nearly bumping into him and giving him a stare that he's sure mirrors his own.

Jongin just stares, blinks once, posture stiff. Immobile.

"U-Uh... Hello..." He eventually says.

And, "Goodbye." is what Kyungsoo responds, as he quickly makes a move to sneak around Jongin with his gaze aimed low.

And for a moment it works, rendered speechless by routine and often dumbstruck in his presence, Jongin almost lets Kyungsoo get away. "W-Wait!" But he shakes it off fast, calling after the quickly disappearing enigma rounding a corner in the distance. Jongin chases after him down the hall.

"Kyungsoo, wait!" He calls again, closing in on elusive beauty and petite features. "I want to talk."

Kyungsoo throws a look over his shoulder. "You did enough of that the night of my performance, thank you very much."

He's in arms reach of him now; Kyungsoo's not the fastest walker - granted, he's got short legs and limited ways to go - but Jongin doesn't reach out to stop him, just stays hot on his heels and pleads with words that hold a lot of truth.

"C'mon, Soo." He begs--shamelessly--while also daring to put them on an informal nickname sort of basis. "I just wanted to apologize, okay?"

Kyungsoo doesn't stop walking, "Fine." just continues on down the long hall, not sparing a glance. "Apology accepted." 412... 413... 414... 415... But he doesn't show any signs of really, truly forgiving. So Jongin continues to follow.

With sagging shoulders and determination in his heart, "C'mon... Soo..." Jongin just wants to know that they are good again, that he's okay and will be okay and isn't being hurt behind closed doors.

416... 417...

"Kyungsoo."

418...

"Jongin." It's said in spite.

Ouch, not forgiven.

And maybe it's frustration, possibly desperation, could be a combination of both, "Hey... Kyungsoo," but Jongin extends his hand out to the petite being in front of him, grabbing him softly by the elbow, "C'mon, talk to me--please."

But within his grasp, Kyungsoo flinches, hisses in pain and retracts his arm fast, holding where Jongin had grabbed him and is rubbing at it softly.

The action leaves the taller perplexed, watching on with furrowed brows and telling himself, B-But... I didn't grab him that hard, though... did I? But then it occurs to him - images of a night full of dark shades and tainted blue flesh sneak into awareness. He almost growls when he thinks of sharp features and golden-blond hair.

Jongin snatches Kyungsoo's sleeve, catching the smaller off-guard and earning a delayed protest, but he has the long fabric pushed up Kyungsoo's limb in an instant. And what awaits there on soft skin with glaring hues of purple and green flesh, are marks in the shape of fingers and signs of domestic abuse.

Jongin can't help but swallow something incredibly thick, causing immense silence and shutting Kyungsoo down from the inside-out with the hardest of stares.

"Did he do this to you?" Jongin asks, tone turning impossibly authoritative. "Did he hurt you?"

Kyungsoo's eyes waver with something, "L-Let go of me." he looks Jongin in the eye for this, something shimmers there. "J-Jongin, l-let go." It could be fear, could be shame. Maybe anger--or everything.

"Tell me if he's the one that's doing this to you." Jongin says, eyes hard, more demanding than he thinks he's ever sounded in his whole life.

"J-Jongin, s-stop it." There are tears welling up, building where Jongin wishes they never would. "L-Let go!"

"Not until you tell me if he is the one hurting you!"

"L-Let go of me!"

"Kyungsoo!" Jongin pulls him closer, nearly holding him, eyes now pleading. "Is he the one abusing you!?"

"Stop it!" Kyungsoo cries, hitting Jongin's chest with weak fists. "L-Leave me alone!"

And then a door is opening, someone stepping outside, someone aggravatingly familiar. Jongin looks over Kyungsoo's shoulder and sees someone he has quickly come to hate.

"Hey! What the hell is going on out here?"

419...

It's Kris, standing there with his golden-blond hair and sweat-pants hanging low on his hips in the doorway, bare torso presented and defined muscles registering to Jongin that this could be a dangerous challenge. Kris is taller than him - he could lose this fight. But Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo would never stand a chance against his anger and his fists...

Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo's wrist, letting go with diffculty of what he yearns to keep. All of his natural instincts tell him to protect the one he longs for, the one with the wounded soul and beautiful, watery eyes.

"N-Nothing. I-It's--" Kyungsoo sniffles as the taller pulls him in. "--it's nothing, Kris. J-Just a m-misunderstanding."

And standing tall in the doorway, Kris spares a glance between Jongin and Kyungsoo, jaw clenched tight. "Uh-huh, sure," He is unconvinced, placing a hand on Kyungsoo's lower back and ushering him through the door. "get inside." His tone is level, aura dominating. What he says is final, and just like that--like all the other times, Kyungsoo is gone.

Jongin feels his fingers twitch again, except this time he's plagued with worry and distress instead of longing, shifting on his feet and attempting to steal a glimpse of what eludes him, over Kris' shoulder.

But there's a hand pushing against his chest, keeping him back, shoving him harshly.

Kris is snarling in his face.

"I suggest you keep your hands off of what's mine, you got that?"

And Jongin squares his shoulders, not backing down when Kris takes an intimidating step forward, chest out.

There are scuffed dog-tags hanging from around Kris' neck, so Jongin can only assume that the tall blond is in the army, or was - he must know how to throw a punch, maybe've even killed a guy - but Jongin isn't scared, he doesn't lower his gaze first--only puffs his chest out now, too, as if challenging the Chinese male.

"Yeah," Jongin lifts his chin, deadly gazes now only inches apart. "well maybe you should, too. Looks like you don't know how to appreciate what you've got."

And the rest happens in a blur, things happen quickly.

But before everything goes black, before it all hurts and the darkness is fuzzy with stars, Kris had growled, "That's none of your ing business." and Jongin had pushed against him in anger, "It is too my business. Once you put your hands on a defenseless beauty like that, it becomes my business."

"You better back the up." Kris had warned, a shove in return. And Jongin hadn't heeded the warning, getting in the taller's face. "Does it make you feel powerful," Jongin's tone had been mocking, "huh? Does it make you feel like a man?" Somewhere in there, there had been another scornful warning, but Jongin hadn't listened. "Well let me tell you something, you're not a man, Kris. You're a coward. You're a ing coward for abusing what can't possibly stand up to you. You're a ing piece of--"

And then sparks fly after fists, it's lights out with one swing, for Jongin.

He remembers everything being hazy for a few moments, as he blinks away bleary images and painful stars from his ground-level vantage point.

He'd grabbed at his head, gradually losing focus, left eye feeling numb down to his drooling lips.

Kris had been a cocky, blurred image that had stood victorious in the increasing darkness. Jongin remembers feeling his fists tighten out of spiteful instinct.

But he also remembers the small image of a worried Kyungsoo rushing down to his side, words a distant memory he can't catch, everything far too distorted to further make sense of.

However, he does recall thinking that being punched in the face and losing consciousness, was totally worth it, if it meant getting to have Kyungsoo's soft hands tend to him, even if only for a fleeting moment of awareness.

And then that's it, when everything went black.

"Dude, get a look at the shiner you're now sporting! It's hellllla sick."

C-Chanyeol...?

Only moments back into consciousness, Jongin barely makes out that Chanyeol is the one shoving a hand-mirror into his hands, expression far too amused and voice-level way too loud for Jongin's recovering mind. His head hurts like a . Everything is sore somehow.

"--man." Jongin croaks, witnessing the ghastly sight of brightly bruised skin and intense swelling in his reflection. "That ing ..." He touches by his eyebrow, instantly hissing at the sting. "S-."

Baekhyun is suddenly there within moments, a frozen bag of peas in his delicate hands and a worried expression on his face, frantic and far too attentive like always. Because realistically, he's all too familiar with these sorts of situations. Chanyeol gets himself into similar outcomes all the time.

"A-Are you okay?" Baekhyun asks, petting Jongin's hair. "How are you feeling? Oh my god I can't believe he straight-out hit you! Does it hurt?" He scoffs to himself. "Oh what am I saying--of course it hurts! Oh my god, I am so sorry this happened to you, Jongin! I knew that, that Do Kyungsoo would be nothing but trouble for you, and yet I still stood by and didn't try harder to warn you! Oh I'm a terrible friend! I-I think it's best we put that Do Kyungsoo behind us. He comes with too much baggage to ever get close to, anyway."

The ramblings are too much for Jongin's hazy mind, every movement he makes is accompanied with a groan, as if his entire body is bruised and not just his face.

Let Kyungsoo go...? Leave him behind...?

Jongin tries to grasp Baekhyun's words.

And leave him in the arms of an abusive boyfriend? No... Never.

"Sorry," Jongin says, sitting up, voice still raspy. "but I can't do that."

And in the commencing silence, Baekhyun looks like he has something to say but is refraining from saying it. To which, Jongin is thankful for. He has no time for things that are only going to matter as much as bumps in the road.

He won't quit.

He won't let Kyungsoo continue to be hurt.

And in the end, Baekhyun just dabs at the small cut by Jongin's brow, lips in a thin line because of this.

Chanyeol is the one that breaks the silence with his loud voice.

"Yeah okay well try not to get your kicked again a'ight buddy? 's embarrassing."

For almost a month, Jongin is the guy that everyone gives a quick double-take, maybe murmuring small something's to their friends and wondering what the hell happened to him.

Walking into classes, and getting onto buses with a vicious-looking black eye adorning his face, will do that. He is definitely going to turn a few heads with what he's got slowly healing in variating hues of purple.

But for almost a month, Jongin doesn't care. He's got other things on his mind, a type of winter flower that might be receiving bruises on less visible expanses of soft skin - and it makes him worried, endlessly anxious.

He can't focus on the tests he needs to study for. His nights laying on his bed, aren't spent going over the careless assortment of notes he'd taken during class, but wasted with worry aimed at his ceiling. Bus rides are often gone with missing his stop, too lost in concern and unfavorable replays of a pretty face not smiling his way.

He tells himself he has to see Kyungsoo again, if not to at least apologize, for everything.

Again...

Like two strangers...

Turning into dust...

Sordid, and cheaper than the peeling wallpaper of an ancient bar that's defined by the smell of musty wood and spilt beer, is how Jongin just about feels towards himself. This must be guilt or regret or both. Or worry.

Lousy, conflicted and helplessly drawn towards the beauty singing for the mildly indifferent, Jongin is yet again just another spectator of angelic sorrow--that is Kyungsoo's sullen performance.

A harmonica plays an emotional tune over the strum of a guitar.

Before I, let you down--again...
I just want to see--you, in your eyes...

And maybe he hasn't learned his lesson, maybe a six-foot-something brute who knows how to throw a good punch, isn't enough to scare Jongin away for good. Because just like before, just like every other time, Jongin finds himself here before Kyungsoo in the crowd, unseen and watching on with a void growing in his heavily beating chest, something that Kyungsoo makes him feel. He can't tell if it's good or bad, but he knows that he and him and them together, could be the start of something final.

And it's like Kyungsoo knows the feeling of Jongin's gaze--when it's on him and when he's near--because in the middle of singing, he lifts his gaze and finds Jongin in the shadows amidst the crowd.

He makes sure to avoid him and leave Jongin looking without any promise, once the show is over. Kyungsoo doesn't want to talk.

I would have taken everything...
out on you...

I only thought you could under--
stand...

And Jongin isn't much of a social network site kind of guy - he never has much to say, nothing he wants to particularly post, and if he wants to talk he'll call or see the person face-to-face - but Baekhyun had gotten him onto the pattern of checking Kyungsoo's Myspace page. He learns that there are audio files loaded there of Kyungsoo's songs, learns that Kyungsoo is actually quite popular among the internet kids who dedicate themselves to moody music and desperate insight when sought.

"Look," Baekhyun points out, "it even has times, dates, and venues of where he is going to be performing next." Jongin had eagerly looked over Baekhyun's shoulder with a new sense of determination. "If you are gonna go and stalk your little crush," Baekhyun gestures at the screen. "then that is how you are gonna do it."

Jongin had marked calendars and plotted out courses of actions, speeches he wants to say to the delicate angel of mysterious inclinations.

They say, every man goes blind...
In his heart.

And they say, everybody steals--
somebody's...
heart away.

And every time Jongin goes out to see him, everytime he walks through lounge doorways and enters into bustling new and hip restaurants where people hold drinks and mingle with wide smiles of catching up and paying him no mind--because he's busy, and alone, and only looking at one winter flower who sings for no one in particular--Kyungsoo does his best not to notice him.

But Jongin is there. Still there. Waiting for his chance.

Kyungsoo evades him, every time.

And I've got nothing more to say...
About it...

Nothing more than you would--
me...

He is persistent. And Kyungsoo performs with dark shades over his eyes again a week later. This only makes Jongin more worried, determined to talk to the elusive beauty, talk some sense into him, apologize to him--save him.

And timing isn't everything--but it is three nights later, when he manages to catch Kyungsoo in a back hallway of a small venue by the restrooms. "Kyungsoo!" He calls, out of breath as he comes up and stands before the smaller. And Kyungsoo had looked conflicted, running a hand through his hair, looking elsewhere and then back, up at a tall Jongin who has all the hope in the world waiting in his eyes.

"What do I have to do," Kyungsoo had started, "to get you to leave me alone."

The words don't hurt Jongin, nor deter him. He looks eager when he proposes with an awkward rub of his nape, "I-I just wanna talk to you." And Kyungsoo looks like he's about to say Well, get on with it then, but Jongin is quick to elaborate; "O-Over a cup of coffee, I mean. Or something. Sometime. When you can... Just once."

The offer is tempting, and Kyungsoo is swayed by the notion of being rid of the persistent male after that. Just one cup of coffee, that's all he has to do.

But he hadn't been ready for honest eyes, genuine feelings and a handsome face. Sunday morning is crisp and chilly, warm cups in their hands inside of a cafe feels right, but so does Jongin staring at him with easily readable eyes and something that emotes deep from within. Kyungsoo gulps when he thinks the former isn't looking, realizing he's treading on thin ice. Kris wouldn't like this. Kris would--

"I'm sorry." Jongin eventually says, tapping incessantly against his paper cup, knee bouncing and hoodie zipped up to his neck. "I'm sorry about, you know, all that's gone on and happened. You barely know me, I barely know you. But at the same time I feel like we've existed together far longer than we both could've known."

Kyungsoo is sitting back, with a leg crossed over the other beneath the table, hands around his warm cup. "I don't know what that's supposed to mean."

"I have a crush on you." Jongin says, simply. Outright and as if all his points connect in a disjointed explanation of everything. Kyungsoo's eyebrows raise just once, tiniest of a scoff, "Yeah, as if that wasn't made obvious." He counters, shifting his gaze out through the window. "You were practically stalking me."

"Isn't that what number one fans do?" Jongin offers with an unsure smile, attempting a joke, trying to make the smaller smile, too.

And Kyungsoo does, for a second. It cracks at the corners, his eyes resorting to the wood surface of the table for concealment, but it shows there, just for a second, and Jongin feels his chest go all warm and fuzzy at the sight of it. He can't help but smile just a little bit wider.

"What do you want from me?" Kyungsoo then eventually asks, after the silence.

Jongin straightens his back, "I want you to be okay." he says, hands still around his cup but the liquid is no longer warm.

"I am okay." It isn't the most confident sounding response. "I'm doing fine. I will be." There's nothing more to say, because both of them already know that Jongin knows what Kris is capable of behind closed doors when he is angry and Kyungsoo is within reach.

And there's a moment of lazy arguing over this, small bickering about being disbelieving of such a statement, and then a retort of minding one's own business, that things shouldn't concern an unrelated individual who has no place butting into situations that are private matters. But Jongin can't accept that, Jongin can't tolerate a small beauty being on the receiving end of unkind fists and cruel touches.

Jongin interrupts with an introspective expression, "Look," he places a hand down on the table. "I've never been one to believe in things like--love at first sight, or whatever. It's a thing of chick-flick mythology, if I'm gonna be honest. But, when I saw you for the first time that other night--"

"W-Whoa, whoa." Kyungsoo pushes his cup away, as if it'll stop everything. "Now why are we throwing the word love around for? Don't you think that's a bit--"

"Unconventional..." Jongin scratches the side of his head, a little bashful. "I know." He does his best to not look Kyungsoo in the eyes. "To be honest, I'm a guy of simple tastes; basic, preppy, sporty, a health-nut and a fan of generic mainstream music, I like long walks on the beach and puppy dogs. Action movies are my thing. But you see, ever since you came along, you've got me acting differently, seeing things in ways I didn't think I would before." Twiddling his cup in his hands on the table, he his lips. "I'm not myself when I think of you--I'm more. It's like becoming in-tune with a new facet of myself, and I like that. I like you."

Things are quiet for a while - Jongin says a lot of true gibberish whenever Kyungsoo is near, but it's feelings he needs to convey, so he doesn't regret it.

And with a nod, expression blank, Kyungsoo slowly stands to his feet.

"I have to go."

And Jongin stutters in his seat, floundering evidently. "W-What, w-wait--why?"

"I'll see you later, though. Alright, Jongin?"

See me later???

Turning in his seat, watching Kyungsoo walk away, Jongin asks dumbly, "Wait, r-really?"

And Kyungsoo stops by the glass door, hand on the handle. "Yeah," There is a hint of a smile, something lingering there in his contemplative gaze. "I have a few questions of my own that I want to ask you, next time."

He's excited that there is even going to be a next time, so Jongin just dumbly agrees, blinking a quizzical amount of times. "O-Oh, okay. Yeah. Of course. Whatever you want--you can ask me."

"Good." Kyungsoo pushes the door open. "Same place, here, Wednesday. eight o'clock."

"O-Okay!"

And then, like all of the other times, Kyungsoo is gone.

Jongin will never get used to the feeling of being left behind.

But remembering that he'd been on the receiving end of a beautiful smile, soothes him.

Kyungsoo's melancholy state of mind, was an everyday struggle for as long as he can remember.

It'd began before foster-care, but sometime after his parents had left him. Small and at the age of five on the doorstep of an orphanage in the poorer part of town, Kyungsoo's eternal affair with emotional anguish had existed beyond what he recalls. Most of his childhood memories, the earliest ones he has, are of him in a place that doesn't feel like a home and surrounded by people that don't feel like family.

His parents hadn't wanted him. Rich couples that would visit with naive smiles and annoyingly good intentions on their expensive sleeves, had never chosen him. Even the other children who played and slept in the same rooms as him, never wanted to be his friend.

It's as if they could all tell that something was wrong with him. Faulty to the eye, defective from the start - they could all see that Kyungsoo was broken. So they'd continued where his biological parents left off; they leave him, don't want him, avoid him.

Nobody likes a sad soul who needs just a little more care. There is no redemption for Do Kyungsoo.

They call that a lost cause.

And life-long misery is hardest to handle alone, so Kyungsoo crumbles and cracks faster than he grows. Elementary, middle-school, high-school and an eventual drop-out later, Kyungsoo goes on as a sturdy hollow shell who has learned to curl up with the emptiness alone at night. His feelings are forever hurt. From early on, his soul was wounded and no one ever tried to help heal him--they only kept their distance, making it worse.

"I realize that I live on the brink of lunacy and gloom--all at once." Kyungsoo explains to Jongin, beneath the moon and cigarette held between his lips, stare kept dull and forward. "I feel the weight of human suffering, loneliness and despair on me all the time. It's not getting easier; if anything, It's always right on the edge of my skin, forever lingering in my hearts peripheral."

In a park on a cold bench, Jongin spares the faraway angel a glance, "Wow." He murmurs in the chill of night. "You really are a songwriter."

Kyungsoo makes a noise, rolling his eyes in the light of his cigarette's flame. "That's what you got from that?" He doesn't sound blatantly annoyed - like Jongin instantly thinks he should be, because clearly he realizes he's said the wrong thing again - but Kyungsoo just continues to in toxins and exhale poisonous fumes. "I tell you a portion of my life story, and that is what you get?"

Their conversations are long, the sun is no longer in the sky as proof of such.

"I-I'm sorry." Jongin says quickly, feeling dumb. "I don't often ever say the right thing. But... I feel for you." Jongin assures, stare genuine and Kyungsoo slowly approves with a nod.

He's got Jongin's coat around his shoulders - because the former had insisted that it is a cold night out tonight, and Jongin naturally runs warmer than most people - distance between the both of them short, and familiarity with each other growing evermore. Slowly-so, but the formalities still lessen.

They've talked over coffee, shared conversations over informal dinners at cheap diners, and exchanged simple questions during long walks through the district.

They aren't friends - but still something more than strangers and simple acquaintances. Lingerers in each other's world is deserving of something tricky - it's what they are; complicated.

"Why do you like me, hmm?" Kyungsoo asks, amidst silence and dispersing smoke.

He asks it as if he can't possibly understand why Jongin would ever care about him - what does he see in him? The perpetual feeling of loneliness and abandonment has Kyungsoo naturally cynical, disbelieving and suspicious, so he doesn't understand why Jongin want's to be around him so badly, why he want's to get to know him--be his friend or something more. Fix him.

The notion is perplexing, but thrilling--if he can even so secretly indulge in such flattery. But he does, time and time again even when he shouldn't.

So he continues to see Jongin, take walks with him, talk with him and tell him all of his inner secrets and confidential woes that he'd never thought he'd have anyone to tell. No one will listen--only when he sings do they care. So Kyungsoo can't help but wonder; why?

"Because you're beautiful and wildly complex." Jongin says, confidently and looking over in the middle of night with honesty in his eyes. "You're like a maze I get lost in, but the sights are pretty and being lost is half the fun."

Kyungsoo flicks his cigarette onto the pavement with a groan, "Oh god," giving Jongin a look. "that was terrible. Quick, what other metaphor do you have for me?"

Jongin chuckles. "Okay." And then he thinks, reaching for truths. "You're like a high-tide washing over me, pulling me away with your current. And even though you'll drown me, I get to see things no one ever could along the surface." He gives Kyungsoo a long look, no longer smiling. "That's you."

And momentarily disarmed, Kyungsoo nods. "Okay."

Jongin raises an eyebrow, "Not terrible?"

Kyungsoo shrugs, "Ehh, it was still cheesy and gross--" he pauses, sparing a glance. "--but... not terrible."

"I can live with not terrible." Jongin jokes.

But Kyungsoo's laugh is forced, "Yeah," just a small one that isn't aimed his way, one that Jongin can tell isn't true and honest. "living with not terrible isn't so bad."

And that's when Jongin stiffens. He has it on the tip of his tongue, something that he's wanted to ask from the beginning of their interactions, something that itches and burns from within. He says--inquiring with a stern gaze, "Why do you stay with him?"

The atmosphere suddenly gets colder.

Kyungsoo chuckles to himself because he's sure that Jongin's worked very hard at not asking that question for a very long time, knowing that the reaction won't ever be good. But now is different somehow, they are familiar strangers in each other's lives, and Kyungsoo is feeling honest when he spills secrets he'd thought no one would ever listen to.

"He'd been the first person to ever want me." Kyungsoo murmurs, bringing his knees up and wrapping arms around them. "It was nice, you know?" The course of mood changes, Jongin sits in silence as he attempts to understand. "I was perpetually insecure, a missing piece to a puzzle that no longer existed. I'd gone my whole life looking for acceptance and affection in places that I shouldn't." Kyungsoo shares, chin atop his knees. "Between sheets and beneath men who only cared until they ed in me, I wanted love but never knew what that really was."

He sighs and then places his feet back down on the ground, brushing his jeans clean of dust that isn't there.

"Until I met Kris." His smile is bitter, even if he doesn't know it. "Boy--was he like a knight in shining armor, when I first met him." The soft chuckle Kyungsoo emits, is also bitter, like he's realized something ironic, learned something that's important a little too late. "He came into my life like a shooting star; I made a wish upon him, and everything I wanted in life--he granted with a smile and handsome words."

"I had a reputation at that point. I was the college drop-out away from home, alone, and searching, and easy. The that every guy had a glorious night with, but never a formal conversation with."

"But Kris..." Kyungsoo raises his gaze, letting his eyes fall upon Jongin with fond memories he can still see. "he was like you. He found me performing in the university district and told me he liked the way I sang, how I made him feel without even having to say a word. So by then, it was easy; he wanted me, and I was his."

"It started like how you would want a romance to start, with dates by the beach, kisses in cafes, hand-holding at movie theaters - I was happy for a while."

"And then, when the first time it happened, he said it was an accident. He didn't mean it. He was sorry. Said it would never happen again. And of course, like a fool I believed him, I loved him--still do, even when I probably shouldn't. Because like wet cement, first loves leave an impression forever. I can't let go of what saved me from myself. I don't want to leave behind all of the happiness I've ever known."

"So yeah, maybe I do trade black eyes and bruises for promised happiness. But at least it feels better than being alone again, being without anyone or anything to reassure me. I don't want to go back to a life-time of solitude, I'm afraid of it."

The night gets colder, Kyungsoo shivers beneath Jongin's coat. And with sympathy in his eyes, Jongin reaches over and tightens the coat around Kyungsoo's shoulders for him, watching him with new perspective and viewing him in a different light, his lips like he wants to do something, maybe lean forward and kiss him--kiss his sorrow away.

Jongin has things on his mind - I could make you happy - has things that he wants to say and do - I could make you happier than he does - but he doesn't act on instinct, doesn't over-step boundaries like he'd told himself he wouldn't.

Respect for Kyungsoo comes with adoration, strong feelings, and fear of being the kind of guy that Kris already is. Inconsiderate, abusive--it isn't always physical. Jongin wants to be the gentle breeze that wakes Kyungsoo up and tells him that the grass is greener on the other side; that happiness doesn't always have to be a thing of give-and-take.

"It really is ironic." Jongin eventually says. Kyungsoo looks at him curiously, waiting. "You're like an angel that's waited to fly all of his life, and then the moment you decide to spread your wings and soar from the clouds, you are struck, and come crashing down with broken wings."

It's an interesting notion, Kyungsoo thinks, whilst brushing Jongin's words aside, shivering to himself in the cold "Take me home." he demands in a whisper, because in all honesty he can't help but agree, hating how true Jongin's words feel.

And like a gentleman, Jongin walks Kyungsoo home in the opposite direction of his own apartment without any further inquisitions like he should. He knows he can't cross an all-too invisible line--that is Kyungsoo's emotions. And like a mutual agreement set in crumbling stone, both of them bid each other goodnight with quiet words and no promises that can't be kept.

Kyungsoo doesn't give Jongin back his jacket, but that's okay, Jongin didn't want it back anyway.

It's a silly belief, because the thought is inane, but Jongin likes the idea of a piece of himself being left behind with the petite male.

It makes him feel like even when he is not around, a small piece of him is there--if not to protect him, even from the cold.

"Ahg... F-." Jongin groans, head tilted back, wetted tissue paper dabbing at his lip, "T-That hurts." whining at Baekhyun.

He'd done it for Kyungsoo.

Whispered words and hushed tales of unfavorable gossip had gotten Jongin into a fight. He'd hated what was being said, enraged the moment two guys from a row behind him started mentioning the small angel's name and how one of them had ed him in a night-club bathroom. He was so ing soft, and tight. The perfect little for my , dude--

He'd swung first, yelled at them to not talk about Kyungsoo that way after. And in the end, he'd gotten his kicked in the middle of class in a two-against-one scuffle.

"Keep still, Jongin." Baekhyun murmurs, tending to said male's busted lip. "If you don't keep your head back, your nose'll start bleeding again."

This whole ordeal seems familiar, the reoccurrence is strange, and this same situation can't help but appear problematic all of a sudden.

Baekhyun doesn't refrain from mentioning this to Jongin with a sigh and disapproving eyes. "Here we are again; you with a black eye, me tending to your wounds and all over that Do Kyungsoo again." Jongin sits in hisses and flinches at the sting, but doesn't argue back. "Except, this time you aren't even fighting his actual boyfriend. Now--now, you're getting into fights with guys that aren't his boyfriend... I mean, I'm sorry, but does this make any sense to anyone else?"

Feeling restless and over-protective, Jongin ultimately doesn't want to hear it. He slumps in his spot, averting his gaze, fists and jaw clenched tight around his own pride.

"This is getting ridiculous, Jongin. You're getting yourself hurt over him! It's not worth it!"

"Hey, hey," Chanyeol eventually interjects, arms wrapping around his small lover. "chill, babe." And with a look over Jongin's bruised face and expression of growing dispassion, Chanyeol does his best to provide the best moral support he can, clapping a hand on Jongin's shoulder, saying to Baekhyun, "Sweetheart, sometimes a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do."

And feeling thankful for this, Jongin thinks it's enough.

I could, possibly... be fading

Or have, something more... to gain

"Are you sure you're okay with seeing this movie?" Kyungsoo asks, small and fidgeting in the concession-stand line, peeking over shoulders and looking around bodies, as if nervous over something, perhaps watching out for someone in particular.

Jongin knows Kris wouldn't like them hanging out together--this is the problem.

And by romantic standards they don't do anything severe, nothing worth feeling guilty over. But he also knows that Kyungsoo is aware of the possible repercussions, regardless. The inconsequential nothings they do and the friendship they tell themselves this simply is, is not just a night spent out with a friend, because they both know this is something more, on the brink of something possibly dangerous.

"I'll see whatever you wanna see, Kyungsoo." Jongin confidently says again for the hundredth time, standing with his wallet out and moving forward two people, even though they're here to see a sequel of a movie he's never even seen the first installment of. "What snack do you want, by the way?"

This isn't a date--it never is, what they do. So Kyungsoo shakes off his concerns and looks up at Jongin, telling him, "Umm, I guess nachos could be nice."

And during the opening credits, Jongin battles with himself over whether or not to pull the old arm-over-the-back-of-the-seat routine; yawn, stretch, drape his arm around Kyungsoo like it's the most natural thing in the world; as if they were dating. It's wishful thinking. But Kyungsoo doesn't panic or pull away when Jongin makes his move, doesn't give him a worried look and tell him he can't. Instead, he settles into his side, gaze held forward and form fitting perfectly where Jongin's made a place for him.

"I think that one was scarier than the first one." Kyungsoo says as they're leaving, Jongin holding the door open for him, cold night evident in his white breath when he twirls in wonder. "Now I won't sleep for a week." He nearly giggles.

It's cute, Jongin thinks. He fights instincts with will-power and refrains from doing something unfair to them both.

And there'd been nothing romantic about watching zombies feast on flesh and blood; 28 Weeks Later isn't the type of movie one can make-out to, but nevertheless, Jongin enjoyed tightening his hold on an easily startled Kyungsoo, being his source of protection and reassuring comfort.

Jongin shrugs with a smirk on his face, saying how it wasn't really that scary. Kyungsoo pouts, and Jongin likes it. He thinks most expressions are cute on Kyungsoo, so it's why he aims for comments that get a reaction. But when said tall male of love-sick faults offers with a gesture c'mon, I'll walk you home, Kyungsoo's reaction catches him off guard. No, I don't want to go home yet. The night is still young, the air nips at them and keeps them freshly awake to endless possibilities. Let's go for a drink or something. I need to get my mind off of zombies and screeching death cries.

Never one to turn Kyungsoo down of his wishes and desires, Jongin easily agrees. Okay.

And then one drink turns into two--that turns into four--before light conversation ends up as nothing but giggles, and Kyungsoo needs to be carried home with a wobbly Jongin holding him close and whispers between them something mutual. It's lazy affixation; a long route home and far too many chances to do something stupid that they both want in the haze of substandard self-control.

There'd been long looks exchanged beneath neon fixtures and across small tables at the bar, lingering smiles teasing in absence of sobriety at one in the morning. And by two, when Jongin manages to get Kyungsoo safely into his small place in the sketchier part of town, it is Kyungsoo that hangs onto his wrist and whimpers, "D-Don't go," faint and in slurs. "s-stay--stay h-here. O-Okay?"

Jongin wobbles before he falls onto his knees at Kyungsoo's bedside, watching the smaller drift in and out of sleep. He considers his options with a hiccup and something that wavers akin to temptation in his inferior sense of morality right now; he could do whatever he wants, blame it on the alcohol, and brush it off as nothing by the morning with a hangover--even though this is everything he wants to claim.

He doesn't fight his internal battle much longer, accepting what Kyungsoo offers with an out-stretched hand and sleepy eyes, climbing into bed with him and wrapping arms around what makes his heart beat faster.

And somehow slumber comes instantaneous; best sleep Jongin's ever had, despite the sharp pang in his head the morning after.

Kyungsoo stirs in Jongin's hold and awakes with incredible warmth and a whiff of something that attracts him more than it should. "You smell like comfort," Kyungsoo grumbles in a muffled mutter, half-asleep. "like... like lingering cologne on... freshly clean clothes."

Jongin smiles, eyes still closed and nose buried into chestnut-brown locks. "Good morning to you, too."

But when he hears his voice - when Kyungsoo realizes who he's with and what he's doing - he releases himself from Jongin's hold, sitting up and scooting away. He stutters when he regains himself and his memory, asking Jongin to please leave--that they shouldn't have done that; it'd crossed a very fine line, one Kyungsoo regrets and fears but also sort of doesn't--which is the problem.

"Break up with him." Jongin boldy blurts out as Kyungsoo is attempting to push him out the door.

"W-What?"

"I want to be your boyfriend." He says it so simply, effectively stunning the smaller in his tracks. "I would treat you so much better."

Kyungsoo falters in his small living-room, looking down and away as if he's considering the idea. "Jongin..." he says in a defeated sigh, as if about to break bad news. But Jongin doesn't like that response, tries again, cutting in quickly, "I can make you happy, Soo. I can give you everything he can and more... I promise."

There are birds chirping in the morning light outside the windows, cars honking in the distance amidst the morning bustle, someone's calling out a name on the street--as if trying to catch the attention of a friend who's left something behind. And just like such, Jongin reaches out for Kyungsoo with slow hands eager to hold. But Kyungsoo pulls away, hugs himself insecure, expression regretful.

"I-I can't." Kyungsoo mutters, evidently conflicted with inner-turmoil and things that weigh heavy. "I-I... I can't leave him."

And for a moment, Jongin wonders why--why stay with an abusive like him? Jongin wants to ask, do you truly love him? Wants to inquire, are you afraid that he'll hurt you if you try to break up with him? But the questions remain un-asked when Kyungsoo answers; "I-I n-need him too much."

Jongin almost can't help but yell in frustration at this--although refrains from doing so, as to not scare Kyungsoo and make him fear him too--because that wouldn't be good, that's not what Jongin wants. "What for?" Jongin presses, features etched in desperation, feeling like he's always on the brink of something with Kyungsoo.

"Because without him, I have nothing. We have so much history with each other. His friends are my friends, his family became my family. The places I frequent and the people I know - cafes, bartenders, restaurants and venue managers - are all because of him. And if I leave him, it all goes away with him as easily as it came--and I will be left with absolutely nothing and nobody all over again. I'll fall back into misery"

"But Kyungsoo," Jongin reaches out and cups the smaller's face with both hands, wiping away stray tears that barely fall with his thumbs. "you're already there. I can tell you're not happy--not as happy as you should be, as much as you deserve." Kyungsoo hadn't known he'd let tears slip. Jongin steps a little closer. "I know, because the way you sound in your songs, tells me so."

Kyungsoo makes a peep, but doesn't tell Jongin he's wrong--because he's right. Deep down, he knows he wants more. But deep down, he'd always thought that this was the extent that happiness had to offer for the likes of him. He's never had more. He'd thought this was the peak.

But Jongin makes him hope for what he thought the world never had in store for him. Jongin makes him yearn for better and question what he thought was everything. He can have more?

"I-I don't know..." He wants to be with Jongin, that much he can admit to himself.

But part of him is afraid of the unknown, fearing the darkness of the deep end when he'd been familiar with drowning in the shallow end of love for so long.

It's ironic. But it's enough to make Kyungsoo hesitate.

"He doesn't deserve you." Jongin breathes against the smaller's hair, hugging him close. "He should never have laid a hand on you. Not like that."

Kyungsoo nods against Jongin's chest, letting another tear fall, because he's right.

"I-I know." Kyungsoo whispers. He admits what he'd denied for far too long. "I-I know..."

And with a hand rubbing gently on Kyungsoo's back, Jongin sighs in relief.

He waits a week, hours stretching long, days seemingly never-ending. It all feels like a held breath over something suspenseful.

Jongin is almost surprised that Kyungsoo doesn't break up with Kris right away just to be with him. But he knows, he understands that Kyungsoo needs time--needs courage--and he'd made a promise, told Kyungsoo that when the time comes, he'll be there.

He won't let the delicate angel do this by himself, Jongin will stand by, just in case Kris decides to get violent.

But a week goes by, and Jongin spends it waiting for any sort of confirmation from the other - his classes are daunting only because he can't focus long enough to study, his time spent sweating at the gym goes half-assed at best, lifting weights doesn't lighten the pressure weighing down on his chest, something eager festers in his heart - Kyungsoo makes him wait, and time is slowly starting to hurt.

"Yo, Jongin!" Chanyeol hollers, as he and Baekhyun walk through the front door. "Your little honey's here."

Baekhyun drops his keys onto the counter, sliding his sunglasses up into his hair. And jumping up to his feet, Jongin asks dumbly, "Kyungsoo?" whilst making himself decent and throwing on a shirt, fixing his posture as if the small beauty is about to appear from behind the tall delinquent that is Park Chanyeol.

Jongin brushes down his shirt awkwardly, "K-Kyungsoo's here?" He can hardly hide the excitement in his voice.

And with a shopping bag hanging from his arm, Baekhyun shifts his weight from one leg to the other. "Actually, what Chanyeol meant to say, was--" Baekhyun pauses, because he knows Jongin isn't going to like this. "--Kyungsoo is here... In the building..."

"Yeah, we..." Chanyeol spares a hesitant glance. "we, uh... saw him in the hallway." He includes, guaging reactions.

"He's..." Jongin's expression contorts, eyebrows creasing. Momentarily, he doesn't understand. "I don't know what you--" But then his heart stops, posture stiffening. The realization sinks in and in an instant, his expression darkens and his hands clench into fists. He's here to break up with Kris, by himself. Alone.

"." Jongin hisses, muttering to himself, whispering. "He told me he'd wait for me to be there with him when he was ready..."

Baekhyun leans inward, "He what?"

"I gotta go." Jongin doesn't explain what was initially arranged, "I'll be back." he doesn't fill neither Baekhyun nor Chanyeol in on what was planned. Instead, he rushes out the door with his fists clenched tight, muscles flexing in anticipation, heart aching with worry.

Kyungsoo said he would come to Jongin first. Kyungsoo promised that he wouldn't go into this alone. He could get hurt.

The doors and the numbers go by in blurs, steps hurried and mind racing. Jongin can't comprehend why Kyungsoo went into this alone; doesn't understand the shame Kyungsoo feels even just considering having someone else there to watch him fail at a relationship.

Because essentially, that is what Kyungsoo perceives; that he's failed in love, done it all wrong, made a fool of himself, couldn't even make his one true relationship work the way it was supposed to.

And now he has to end it--but can't even do that, without having someone else there to protect him, to ensure that he isn't physically abused by the one he aimed to succeed with. It's embarrassing, shameful. And in the end, he doesn't want Jongin there to witness his failures in love. He wants to handle it alone.

But Jongin is already there, struggling in front of 419, resisting the urge to not just downright bust through the door and make sure everything is okay, that Kyungsoo is okay.

He dares to try the doorknob with a prying twist, thinks of maybe even knocking just for the sake of formalities. He raises a fist to do so, intending to knock hard three times--just to be sure--calling out Kyungsoo's name.

But his blood runs cold in an instant. His world shivers and shakes when he hears the faint sound of a whimper, a thud from a hit. All it takes is one more thunking sound, a distant cry from what sounds like Kyungsoo - he can hear Kris throwing out spiteful curses - and Jongin is breaking down the door, yelling his name. "K-Kyungsoo!"

A lamp is knocked over. There is a chair on the floor. And so is Kyungsoo behind the couch, clutching at his stomach as Kris stands above him, large boots looking mighty offensive in contrast to the smaller's position on his side and tear-stained face.

"K-Kyungs--" Jongin doesn't have time to think, just jumps into action. "K-Kyungsoo!" His heart breaks at the sight, seeing the smaller beaten down and kicked in the stomach, but he's lunging at Kris in an instant before he knows it. "Why you ing son of a !"

He rushes at him full-force, only seeing red--and golden-blond.

He tackles Kris into the dinning table, the tall Chinese male caught off-guard and grunting as things clatter. He falls, but reaches for Jongin's shirt to brace himself and throw the other off of him, " you!" Kris shouts, trying to harshly shove Jongin away. "Get the off of me, you piece of !"

Jongin regains his footing, "You're the piece of !" He shouts, raising his fists, telling Kris to square-up with just his body language alone. "How dare you lay a hand on him like that! I should ing kill you where you stand!"

Kris doesn't waste time on delivering a counter-threat, just lunges forward and throws a punch that barely misses Jongin's face. It goes by in a whiz, force evident in audible air. And with a few quick dodges, Jongin manages to land a well-aimed fist square in Kris' face, causing the taller male to stumble back a few steps, shaking his vision clearer after seeing stars.

Picture frames hanging on walls end up shattered on the ground, a curtain is ripped down in their tussle, collateral damage comes with grunts and deflected punches against raised forearms - they tackle each other into objects and against surfaces. Fueled by rage and jealousy and perhaps male pride, Jongin and Kris fumble about the room, cursing at each other between hits and making threats that go nowhere against one another--they're evenly matched.

But eventually, Jongin finds his opening.

All of his rough-housing and mock wrestling with Chanyeol in the living-room--where Baekhyun often screams at them to not break anymore of his --finally pays off. Jongin manages to lock his leg into position behind Kris' knee, causing him to trip backwards as Jongin is slamming him down on top of the coffee table.

It instantly breaks beneath his weight, shattering with a loud crack, splintered wood left in a mess of debris on the carpeted floor.

And Jongin is about to take his chance, pulling his fist back high up into the air, ready to knock Kris' lights out in one punch.

"J-J--Jong-gin." But Kyungsoo whimpers in his peripheral, eyes still glossy, skin still bruised, blood on his lips. He begs with a pittiful croak, "s-stop, p-please." And just like that, Jongin is disarmed. "D-Don't." Instead, he rushes to Kyungsoo's side, reaching out with hesitant hands.

"Kyungsoo!" He disregards his own cuts and bruises, looking over the smaller's battered state. "A-Are you okay!? W-Where does it hurt?"

The scene is a muddled one, living-room a mess, everything left in complete disarray. Kyungsoo thinks his life is officially in shambles, as he lays there broken and small. He wants to tell Jongin that he's embarrassed, or ashamed--that it hurts just about everywhere.

His vision isn't so clear in his left eye, even thinks of mentioning that, too.

But a cough and a disdainful chuckle cuts him short. Kris is on his feet and clutching his ribs with a squinting eye, shuffling slowly over towards the bookcase for support. He coughs some more. "Y-You really w-want that little ? Fine, you can h-have him." Kris spits at Jongin, wincing as little as possible. "I-I'm done with that f-ing , anyway. H-He's a worthless who's only good at , and nothing else. S-So take him, see if I ing care."

Jongin's vision goes red all over again, fuming when he makes a move to attack, "Why you ing--" but Kyungsoo stops him, small hand grabbing at his arm. "J-Jongin, n-no."

It takes a lot for Jongin to restrain himself, veins pumping fire and eyes filled with hate, but he stays by Kyungsoo's side, even lifts him into his arms when the smaller tells him it's okay to do so. It breaks his heart to see Kyungsoo so hurt - he feels so small, looks so delicate, it's wrong on so many levels.

And Kris curses to himself all the way to the restroom, bitter, as he tends to himself with a bloody hand-towel and balls of toilet-paper, announcing that he never wants to see that no good little ever again, as Jongin carries Kyungsoo away and to safety. You two ing deserve each other!

And with his heart in his arms, Jongin can't help but agree.

Irony.

It's the first accurate thing Kris has ever said.

Feeling unorthodox in love, laying by Kyungsoo's side and softly tending to him for two days in which he skips his classes for, Jongin relishes in their lazy naps and gentle touches, where they whisper personal nothings and compare hand sizes. It's shy intimacy.

Essentially, they are together.

Not dating--not yet. But Jongin and Kyungsoo, they are something a little more than what they were before.

"Is it okay if I kiss you?" Jongin asks, with Kyungsoo pillowed on his arm and the both of them warm and recovering after the violent scene between them and Kris. Kyungsoo thinks Jongin shouldn't have skipped his classes just to take care of him, reasoning that he isn't hurt that badly. But at the mercy of butterflies that flutter and the pounding in his chest, Kyungsoo is thankful--and tells him, "S-Sure."

Jongin's bed is warm, his body even warmer. And with their cuts healing and their bruises slowly becoming nothing but sore spots, they indulge in what feels euphoric; the soft press of lips between sheets has them sinking into bliss. Kyungsoo can feel his heart melting. It's pleasently painful. For two days, this is all that they are.

And they kiss for the remainder of this morning, only spending it in bed and with limbs loosely tangled, Jongin wrapping arms around Kyungsoo and holding him how he's wanted to since the beginning.

Kyungsoo likes Jongin's touch. Likes his warm skin, likes his rough fingers and veiny hands when he get's grabby, even likes the subtle prickle of Jongin's five o'clock shadow in the morning when he hasn't shaven yet. Touching his strong jawline like that, makes Kyungsoo feel like giggling and sprinkling him with kisses there.

Jongin is becoming his potential everything.

He's all of the affection and strong security that Kyungsoo could ever want - he's so gentle with him, kisses him softly and handles him with care - but there's trauma in his heart still. Kyungsoo can't help but feel his emotional wounds still smoldering from within, outlasting his physical ones.

It's something that can only heal with time.

And Kyungsoo doesn't want to flinch or wince when Jongin lifts a hand to touch him. He feels bad every time Jongin's eyes flicker with worry for a split second, visibly confused, when all he's trying to do is caress Kyungsoo's cheek and tend to him softly.

It's something that Kyungsoo dreads every time it happens. He feels bad for being traumatized.

It's a sign that he's not ready. Not yet.

Maybe romance needs to wait.

Jongin isn't hurt by being turned away - he get's it, he understands - Kyungsoo needs time, and that's something that Jongin can respect with a nod of the head, holding the door open for Kyungsoo as the smaller makes his leave.

"A-Are you sure you don't want me to walk you home?"

"Yeah," Kyungsoo slips on his shoes by the door. "I'll be fine."

"Okay..." Jongin tries not to miss him already. "B-But--but what if something happens--"

"Jongin." He cuts in softly. "It's the middle of the day. I think I'll be okay."

"I-I know. I'm just... I know."

Kyungsoo hugs Jongin before he leaves, reasoning that he needs to be alone for a little while, kisses the taller whilst standing on his toes, but ultimately needs time to think and reflect. Jongin tells him he understands, that Kyungsoo can take all of the time he needs. He'll wait.

He tries to be considerate, thoughtful, attentive towards Kyungsoo's feelings and emotions.

But when two, three, four-five-six days go by with no sight or word from the smaller, Jongin get's a little restless. He worries that this 'relationship' of theirs is already over before it's even started.

Did I do something wrong?...

Maybe he doesn't feel the same way about me as I do him...

"Yo, why so glum, chum?" Chanyeol asks through Jongin's deep thought. "Everything a'ight? Already trouble in paradise or somethin'?"

Wiping a hand down his face, Jongin falls onto the couch next to Chanyeol where he plays a first-person shooter, Baekhyun on his lap-top gossiping away with his friends on some up-and-coming Facebook social network website. Just another thing Jongin isn't up to date with.

"He hasn't spoken to me in a week." Jongin mumbles, hair still wet from his shower and shirt slung over his shoulder. "I mean, I know I said I'd give him time. But how much time does he need? Is it me? Is there something I should be doing?"

Pressing away at buttons, eyes glued to the tv-screen at fast moving pixels in high definition, Chanyeol hums deep, "I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. I can never understand what runs through a little cutie's head." There's gun-fire on the screen, characters falling with death cries and blood splattered, Chanyeol fist-bumps at passing a level. "Maybe you should buy him something nice. Something shiny."

For a moment, Jongin's eyebrows raise in consideration. "No." That is, until Baekhyun is speaking up and telling them insistently, "You need to show him that you care, Jongin. That your feelings are true and that you won't be anything like Kris was. You need to woo him." Extending his foot out to admonishingly kick Chanyeol where he sits hunched over his controller, Baekhyun informs, "You don't need to win him over with flashy objects or shiny things--although it is appreciated, it's not everything."

Jongin sighs as he reaches back and rests his arms over his head. "Alright." He takes a moment to consider his options, thinks hard about what he has to do. "I think I know a way to prove to him that my feelings are true."

"You do?" Baekhyun asks, as Chanyeol spares a glance over his shoulder at Jongin.

"Yeah. But I'm going to need your guys' help."

Fade Into You

Kyungsoo receives an invitation on Saturday, that's laying on the floor just outside the front door of his apartment.

It has a date, a time, and a location of where he needs to be, and not much else. It's peculiar, he's skeptical at first. But it's signed Kim Jongin in the bottom left corner, so with a twitch in his lips, he zips up a coat and slips on his shoes.

The streets are a buzz tonight--like most Saturdays are--but tonight it's a little bit different. The street lights are twinkling, the people bustling and all seemingly migrating towards the same place. Kyungsoo proceeds on with his hands in his pockets, the night chilly, but himself not cold.

And then he notices it--the flyers on the walls, the pieces of paper stapled to telephone poles and light-posts. They all say the same thing; Live Performance! Saturday Night At 9:00 PM At The Wake Up Cafe! Performer: Kim Jongin!

He stops in his tracks, ripping the flyer from it's spot, eyebrows creased, people still passing him and headed in one singular location. J-Jongin?...

The night isn't so cold, breath coming out white, but he's shivering from something else entirely. Suddenly he's moving on numb legs and clinging to the flyer in his hands with a tight grip, pace picking up as he draws closer.

And when he gets there, mildly out of breath and scarf being tugged down off of his neck, Kyungsoo looks around the room, peeking over shoulders and between bodies--until he sees him. Jongin. Sitting in the spotlight. Chanyeol sitting behind him on a stool with a guitar in his lap.

"A-Ahem," Jongin's voice suddenly resonates throughout the crowded cafe. "A-Attention everyone." He says, so handsome in the glow of the stage and so seemingly out of place behind the mic. "N-Now that the guest of honor has arrived--" Suddenly there is another spotlight, one that's following Jongin's outward gesture and landing on Kyungsoo, making him startle for a moment. "--I think I can begin."

Everyone quiets down, sparing glances Kyungsoo's way as he shies beneath the light, awkward and nervous, entirely confused at what Jongin is trying to do.

"Now, I'm not much of a singer," Jongin announces through the mic. "so sorry to all of the people that are here looking to see a great performance." Everyone laughes, a guy even whoops and whistles with his friends, and Kyungsoo only smiles in growing curiosity. He shifts on his legs, arms crossed, eyes only affectionate.

"But, there is something I want to say to you, Kyungsoo." Jongin says through the microphone, finding him in the crowd. People aww, a few clap. Kyungsoo blushes. "And I wanted to tell you through song." Suddenly, there is music. Chanyeol starts strumming on the guitar. "So here it goes."

And then, suddenly the world starts to fall away. Kyungsoo can feel his walls crumbling down, his heart melting completely yet pounding harder than he thinks it's ever pounded before. All he does is stare in wonder.

Jongin begins to sing to him.

Give you my lovin'
Seven days a week

I'll be your honey,
If you'll be sweet

Kyungsoo can feel his knees shaking, butterflies becoming something violent instead of something that tickles him with flutters. He instantly falls for Jongin's--albeit unseasoned--sultry, deep voice. It makes his cheeks flare up with a blush that hurts because he's already smiling.

I know--I'm the only one for you

I know--that you think this is not true

Holding onto the mic, leaning forward on a tall stool, singing words of love in front of a crowd for Kyungsoo - for everyone to see and witness - Kyungsoo can't help but swoon and feel his heart do things it's never done before.

He'll never know what all the other people watching are thinking, what their reactions are. All that matters and all that exists right now, is him and Jongin and the way that he feels.

Man says it's raining, raining outside

I'll be out there
In a little whiiiile

Cause you see, rain reminds me of you

And everything--
haaas turned,
to you...

He doesn't know if he's breathing, he can't tell. He tries to catch his breath, but then realizes he's been breathing in harder than he was initially. Jongin has him tearing up amidst the crowd, clutching at his chest and understanding what real love truly is.

This is it. This is what it's supposed to feel like.

Everywhere--you go
I--will follow

I know it won't be--
the same--tomorrow.

There are tears on his cheeks, Kyungsoo wipes them away. He's smiling. And inbetween the music and Chanyeol's gentle strums, a girl at Kyungsoo's side leans over and asks him, "Is that your boyfriend?" to which, Kyungsoo can only smile, keeping his eyes on Jongin as he finally nods. "Yeah. That's him." He clutches at the fabric of his sweater tighter, over his heart. "That's my boyfriend."

"You're very lucky." She says. And Kyungsoo, he can only agree. "I know."

People give me warnings;
Stay away from you

They say you'll hurt me,
I don't think that's true.

Jongin has captured his heart entirely. He'd tried avoiding it before, earlier, when Kyungsoo wasn't sure what love could be and what he could ever have, Kris distorting his view of the world and how he could be treated.

But now he truly sees. Sees Jongin in whole and in love. He'd told himself they were just complicated acquaintances, but now Kyungsoo can't deny; now he's falling into him, helplessly, looking forward to it, even.

When I see you,
I wanna kiss you

But I know that ain't right
So I ask if I can hold youuu

Oh babe,
I neeeed you so bad

Oh babe,
I only wanna make youuu--

...

Laaaaaaughe

Bubbling up with emotion, Kyungsoo can't help but giggle as he softly cries, Jongin being overly dramatic as he holds a hand to his chest and sings the last long note. His voice echoes throughout the room, fading into Kyungsoo and shaking him to the core. It's like Christmas morning, it's like coming home after being away for far too long; Jongin makes him tremble with his stare, handsome smile on his face as he holds his gaze.

The music keeps playing.

But Jongin is standing up from his spot, stepping down from the stage, suddenly standing before Kyungsoo to the strum of the guitar Chanyeol is playing.

The spotlight is on them, and Kyungsoo can only look up at attractive dimples and perfectly tan skin with watery eyes, accepting Jongin's offered hands with shaky ones of his own. "Hi." The taller says, quiet and exclusive and only for Kyungsoo to hear. Kyungsoo chuckles once, wiping away a tear. "H-Hi." He says, feeling completely at a loss--but floating on air.

Everyone still stands around them, watching as if waiting for something final to happen.

Chanyeol hasn't stopped playing, still plucking away and keeping rhythm, although he looks on as well.

"I think I sort of love you, Kyungsoo." Jongin says with a bite of the lip, looking endearing and dumb, but handsomely-so.

And hands entwined with his, Kyungsoo laughes whilst sniffling away tears. "I-Is that so?"

Jongin doesn't answer him--not in words. Instead, he does what is daring and dips down to capture Kyungsoo's lips in a sudden kiss that has the latter frozen in place, although closing his eyes in contentment shortly after, moving his lips in unison with Jongin's.

The world moves in slow-motion. Kyungsoo can feel his heart bursting. Everyone breaks out into cheer around them, and some even hoot and holler, whistling and clapping to their public display of affection. And Kyungsoo would be embarrassed, if he wasn't so mutually in love with Jongin, too--returning his love.

It feels nice.

"Mmm--" But suddenly, Kyungsoo is breaking their kiss with a wide-eyed expression, pulling away to look up at Jongin in confusion. "J-Jongin, w-was that your tongue in my m-mouth?"

It's a stupid question, Kyungsoo already knows--because of course it was. Kyungsoo is weak in Jongin's arms.

"S-Sorry." Jongin replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I got a little carried away. I-I just really like kissing you, is all."

Kyungsoo blushes in his hold, trying to ignore all the on-lookers. He shakes his head. "N-No. No it's okay..." He admits, timid and shy. "I-I like kissing you, too. And I... I actually like your tongue... I-It's nice..."

The music slowly comes to a stop, the silence quickly filled with dull murmurs. Kyungsoo plays with the fabric on the front of Jongin's shirt. "Oh," He says, looking at his own feet before staring up into Jongin's eyes. "And I, s-sort of love you, too... by the way."

At this, Jongin fist-bumps the air in victory, jumping up and announcing excitedly to everyone, "He loves me too!" grin on his face, crescents for eyes, and Kyungsoo smiling bashfully before him. People applaud, even clap Jongin on the back in congratulations, as if he'd just proposed and Kyungsoo had said yes.

The hearts in his eyes don't fade, and Kyungsoo can't help but gravitate more towards Jongin--who's coming down from his enthusiastic high.

"So does this mean that I get to officially call myself your boyfriend?" Jongin asks, partially out of breath.

Kyungsoo plays coy, smiling prettily when he stands on his toes and kisses Jongin on the jaw. "Of course, silly."

And it only makes Jongin feel complete, like he's reached the end of a long journey, a delicate angel with pouty lips and round eyes waiting for him with a song that's just for him. Together they are a happy tune. Jongin can't help but reach down and lace their fingers together.

"You wanna get out of here?" Jongin asks, knowing Kyungsoo hates the crowds and hates the stares, wanting to sweep him up and ride off with him into the sunset.

Kyungsoo's smile is sheepish when he bites his lip and nods, "Yeah."

Jongin pecks his lips. "Okay."

And off to the side, lingering in the masses out of sight, Chanyeol and Baekhyun look on in adoration, the smaller with his hands clutched together, and Chanyeol with his arm slung around him. "Oh my god, I was wrong before; they're so cute together!" Baekhyun swoons, a hopeless romantic, a dramatic rambler. Chanyeol gives Jongin a thumbs up from a distance when the other glances his way.

And timing isn't everything, Jongin thinks.

Because there is no right time.

Kyungsoo came into his life like a mist in the night, confusing and unobtainable, Jongin feeling lost yet more determined than ever before.

What's right is the feeling--and when that's real, that's everything.

He'd known, that from the moment he saw Kyungsoo, alone and beautiful and wounded in the spotlight, he was already catching feelings.

He was already falling... slowly.

And on a busy Saturday, exiting a crowded cafe, Kyungsoo is ethereal in the night.

And just like that, just like before, just like every other time that has Jongin lost in wonder and longing and desire, teetering on the edge of sanity and inner-turmoil, Kyungsoo is gone.

Except this time, so is Jongin.

Together they leave.

Hand in hand.

"You sing terribly, by the way." Kyungsoo giggles. He's lying when he smiles with teeth.

Jongin holds him tight as they go. "Yeah, but you loved it anyway."

Their eyes meet beneath the stars and street-lights, only smiles and kisses coming between them.

Kyungsoo nods, feeling whole for the first time in his entire life.

"It's true." He doesn't think he can ever sing another sad song again. "I did."

And like such, they fade into one another.

Falling slowly.

Kyungsoo can't help but hang onto Jongin's arm tighter, feeling in love, looking up at him with a smile.

"Kim Jongin..."

Said male looks down with a raised brow. "Yes?"

"I'm your number one fan."

The End.

I Think It's Strange You Never Knew

Author's Note:

~Mazzy Star~

Fade Into You - This is it! This is the song that inspired this whole entire fic. This is the song that drove the whole thing. This is the one that Jongin first saw Kyungsoo singing. It's really a great song. Ethereally haunting, lucidly beautiful.

Flowers In December - Probably my second favorite song by them. Strangely helpful to listen to when writing lol.

Common Burn - let Hope Sandoval's heavenly voice lull you to peaceful slumber~

Five String Serenade - This is like the saddest stick-figure music video ever :( but don't let the sadness win :) flowers grow from the rain.

Blue Light - So so chill. Lay down and think of things.

Into Dust - very mellow. Perhaps easy to listen to when writing angsts? Idk.

So........... did anyone like the story???

The whole thing was motivated by Mazzy Star songs. And all of the lyrics in the fic are from their music, so yeah. Although, the song that Kyungsoo sings when Jongin attends his Wake Up Cafe performance is Speechless. The only non-Mazzy Star song to appear in this fic.

So, if you liked this, please do Up-Vote, Comment and Subscribe ^^

There'll be more oneshots to come :)

Thank You

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Tigertopaz #1 Jan 21, 2016 18:00:06

Chapter 3: It's amazing how quickly I can go from being on Team Kris in Companion Pets to despising him here.... And that's of course credited to your writing. As typically cliche as this oneshot may have been, I still enjoyed it a ton!

nindyasnast #2 Jan 1, 2016 20:30:04

Chapter 3: I am utterly surprised to find that no one has commented yet.
Anyway, great as usual! I've been losing Kaisoo feels lately and thanks to you it has been charged to 100% :D
This is a must-subscribed ff. I'm looking fwd to your other Tales of Kaisoo, dear author.