My eyes have gone blind, time has stopped

I got to know you, who is so eye-blinding

-----

Woo Sunghyun. That was his name, if I did not mishear, but he preferred to be called Kevin, which I thought was a cute name. Well, his name was as cute as he was. He had a pretty face, like a girl. Or even prettier—all members agreed with this opinion. His face was perfect seen from every angle, his skin was flawless and white, and he had a slender body. But the most mesmerizing one was his angelic and beautiful smile.

Alright, I would say that everything about him was simply fascinating, especially to me.

I first met him when he was introduced to be one of U-KISS members three years ago. He was the last to join—before our group later joined by Kiseop. He came from America—San Francisco, to be exact—just like me, so it was obvious that we could communicate better with each other rather than other members. We soon became friends. Good friends—or so I thought.

-----

I can't hide it, I can't help myself

I love you, I want you

I know I can't have you - the love of a friend

I can't forget for a single day - I can't stop

-----

At first, I did not realize my other feeling for him, but then Dongho caught me staring at him intensely for way too long. Actually, he had always caught me in the act. I just could not help myself but to be attracted by him. Every time I looked at him, I felt my heart hammering so hard. And finally, one day, this ice-thin layer of my heart shattered into pieces, only to present what had been hidden inside it all this long; a feeling called love.

Every day, my love for him grew bigger and bigger. I tried to suppress it, but I could not do that. This feeling could not be denied. I love him very much to the point that I would die for him. He was like oxygen to me, I need him every day, every minute, every second; otherwise, I could not survive.

This whole comparison was completely crazy, I knew. Then I asked myself, why? Why did I have to fall in love with him? I was not supposed to feel this way towards him. It felt so wrong, yet right. I was like trapped, lost in a confusing, endless labyrinth that was my own feeling.

-----

Breathlessly, I love you, I only love you

My heart that looks toward you is burning

We're not friends, we're not lovers - it hurts and I cry

I can’t hide my heart - it grows, it hurts

-----

Later I found myself being jealous of my family-like members. I did not like it when someone was being too close or doing skinship with him. There was a pang of possessiveness within me that claimed him to be only mine. Moreover, other than at the practice time or at the dorm, I always stole a glance or two at him, making it so discreetly that no one would know. Like now, when U-KISS was in the middle of filming Chef’s Kiss. I was busy cooking while he approached Kibum to ask for a spoonful of salt because apparently, we forgot to prepare ours.

‘Kibum-hyung~’ He called Kibum using his aegyo, and Kibum smiled sheepishly while trying not to look too pleased. Even though it was only for the sake of filming, I felt a little bit annoyed at the fact that he seemed enjoying it. Well, both of them, judging from his adorable, fake pout and those shades of pink on Kibum’s cheeks.

He had never called my name in such a cute way—and rather seductive—even once before! But I must hold back. I forbade myself from showing my real emotions, especially jealousy. And wouldn’t it be weird if, out of sudden, I stepped forward and told him to stop doing that? Indirectly told everyone in this room that he belonged to me? Definitely a bad idea.

-----

I can't breathe because I can't have you

This is a heartbreaking one-sided love

I Need you, I Want you, I Miss you, Wanna Feel you. (Hey, Baby)

So please, know that my mind is only for you

-----

I came to a conclusion that he would never know my feeling for him. No, he must not know. I was afraid that he would distance himself from me if he knew the truth. How could I live without interacting with him? I was so sure I could not stand being ignored by him even only for a second because, as much as I did not want to admit it, he had always been the only one who occupied my whole mind.

He always got my attention, regardless of the place and time. My eyes only had him, so did my heart. I felt that his entire being had the ability to keep my brain paralyzed that I could not stop thinking about anything but him. Sometimes, I even forgot how to breathe since he was just too gorgeous. Or my heart raced at uncontrollable pace I thought it would be the cause of my death. Furthermore, I did not think any doctor would be able to cure this disease.

Oh God, since when did I start to sound this cheesy?

-----

If you are tired and exhausted and you need someone else

I will be there, I will treat you well so you can rest

I will stand behind you- I'll look at you alone- the love of a friend

Though I try to erase, I cannot erase (You're my beautiful girl)

-----

U-KISS just finished a fan-meeting this afternoon, and as always, KissMe’s showered us with much loves. “You should rest. Let me do it.” I said as I took a huge box, which was full of our fans’ presents and letters, from his skinny arms. He replied with a cheerful ‘Thanks!’ and flashed his signature angelic smile at me. I felt that my energy suddenly being recharged up after seeing it. Then I carried the slightly heavy box, and he walked following me.

I put the box in the living room and sat next to him on the big leather sofa after. He rested his head on my shoulder and circled his arms loosely around me, mumbling ‘I’m tired~’ then yawning a little. He was just too adorable! I knew he usually did that with either Kibum or Kiseop, and it was probably nothing special to him, but, to me, this was one of the most blissful moments in my life. Even if it was only a simple touch.

A huge smile plastered over my face as I enjoyed our little kind-of-romantic moment. Even though it lasted for merely one minute, I still felt very happy. How I hope I could slower the time so that we could be like that for a little bit longer.

-----

Beautiful, I love you, I only love you

My heart that looks toward you is burning

We're not friends, we're not lovers - it hurts and I cry

I can’t hide my heart - it grows, it hurts

-----

We were in our ‘O-type’ room, lying comfortably on the bed, enjoying our free time after recording some performance, interviews, and such. It was only the two of us. Some of the members were still having their dinner, while some were rolling lazily in front of the big plasma TV in the living room. Being with him like this, my heart was beating so fast that it reached my ears. I wondered if he could hear it, too.

I turned my head to face him, landing my gaze upon him lovingly. He did not seem to realize it, though, as he kept fiddling with a cute stuffed bunny. ‘I know it’s too early, but I wanna sleep…’ He suddenly said, looking at the ceiling and then me. He smiled; it was so beautiful, so stunning that it might make me drool over myself. I had no idea where I received this encouragement from, but I slowly leaned closer to him and cupped his face. He looked rather confused, eyes widening.

And I kissed him. Yes, I kissed him… on the lips! I could feel more of his soft, full lips with my own as I pressed mine harder against his. Few seconds had passed, he eventually broke our contact—luckily he did not slap me, only shoved me roughly. Who would not, anyway, when suddenly being kissed like that? The worst part was, that was his first kiss and he had to get it from a man. I cursed and punched myself mentally after I had looked at his deep brown eyes; they were full of shock and disbelief. He got up immediately.

“I thought we were friends. Why did you do that to me?!”

“Kevin, I’m very sorry… I just—”

“I don’t wanna hear anything! You’re sick in the head, Eli!”

He left me alone inside the room. I thought that it was already the time to tell him the truth; my love for him. I could not bear hiding it anymore. But I had to apologize first. I followed him quickly and saw him rushing out of the dorm, slamming the door open carelessly that it bounced back a little once it hit the wall. I ran to him after taking a quick glace on manager-hyung and other members, whose jaws dropped in surprise at the loud bang of the door—and I bet it was their first time seeing the constantly smiling Kevin get angry.

-----

Even if I throw everything else away, I want you

The foolish monologue, the words I couldn't tell you

I won't let you go in my next life

I love you crazily, I love you till death

-----

He forced his legs to take himself further from me; I did not know for how long and how far he intended to run away from me, as if I was some scary monster wanting to hurt him. I started to pant heavily, sweats trickling down my forehead, but I could not give up on him. Both of us kept making tracks until we finally met a broad intersection. He stopped at the sideway to inhale the much-needed air. I used that chance to speed up and finally got to be near him.

“I can explain this! Listen to me, Kev!”

“No need to explain! Everything’s clear enough! Now get away from me!”

He turned away and began moving his legs again; he wanted to cross the road. “Wait, Kev!” I shouted at him and pulled his hand, but he kept ignoring me. As I chased after him, I heard some people yelled at us to move away from the road. A realization dawned on me as I looked at a truck coming our way. There was nothing I could do to save us, or at least him. It happened so fast; the truck hit our bodies hard that we both flew.

A very loud thump could be heard as our bodies made a contact with the concrete. Terrified screams and footsteps in hurry of people around us were floating in the crimson sky. With my remaining strength, I turned my head and saw him lying helplessly not far from me. The usually happy, bright face was gone; now his eyes were closed tightly and fresh, thick blood was gushing out of his mouth.

The sight hurt me so much, more than the pain from being hit itself. And it slowly became unbearable and forced me to shut my eyes, as if seizing the life out of me. I did not think I could open my eyes again. I was really going to leave this world. However, I still had the urge to tell him something that I had not had the chance to confess.

“I love you…” I said barely above whisper.

God, there was only one thing that I wanted to beg you for. I would not ask for anything else, so please grant it. If Kevin and I were reborn, please let us meet again. And make him my destined one…

**********

I am waiting for my girlfriend now. We are going to have a date in Lotte World—an amusement park. First time I saw her, I felt like I had met her before because her face was so familiar. Even so, I just cannot recall where exactly it was. I start to think; perhaps it was in my previous life? Only God knows.

“Oppa! I’m sorry for making you wait!”

“It’s okay, *Sungyeon-ah!”

I offer my hand to her, for which she happily reaches. “Let’s go~” I say while showing a gentle smiling to her. She nods and then we walk hand in hand. We both keep glancing lovingly at each other and chuckling afterward along the way. Today is going to be another wonderful day for us, I guess. I really thank God for giving me such a good life.

~End of the Story~

*Sungyeon comes from Sunghyun. I changed it because Sungyeon sounds more girly.

A/N: How was it? Please leave your comments on it! Thanks! ^^