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Chapter Text

Solstitial 
1 : of, relating to, or characteristic of a solstice and especially the summer solstice.
2 : happening or appearing at or associated with a solstice. 

You can take the girl out of 2NE1, but you can't expect the others to be happy about it. Chaerin had tried to protest when they had been told that the group would be performing without Bom, but it was no use. It was very clear that Bom would be stuck at home ‘reflecting’ whilst Chaerin, Minji and Sandara took the stage at SBS’ ‘Gayo Daejun’. Chaerin had tried to smile during rehearsals, really she had. But even with her greatest attempts at being cheerful, the music kept on stopping halfway through, followed promptly by something along the lines of:
“Girls, I know Come Back Home isn’t a particularly happy song, but you’ve got to stop scowling.”
Chaerin just couldn’t bring herself to comply. Even if Minji was doing a great job at covering Bom’s chorus, it wasn’t right. Three wasn’t correct. There are four digits in their name, four suits of cards, four reasons they love them listed in Crush. It couldn’t be done, and Chaerin couldn’t stand on that stage and pretend like it could. Pretend that they can make it as a trio, that Bom isn’t an integral part of everything 2NE1 is or can hope to be.

When they’re getting in place to go up on stage, they don’t do their usual ritual. No hands are placed in a circle and no excited shouts of nolza are to be heard. When Minji and Sandara turn to her for guidance, The Leader’s Speech, she just takes both of their hands in hers and takes a deep breath.
“Do your best.” She tells them. “But don’t hide your anger. This is for Bom. Show her we’re performing for her, not without her.”

She’s used to CL taking over when the music starts, but she doesn’t this time. She’s loud, she’s confident, and she’s aggressive, but she’s still Chaerin. The three of them are themselves, no facades, no images and no make-believe. And no vulnerability. They don’t smile, Sandara doesn’t break out her oh-so-practiced lovelorn gaze, they continue to scowl. They do a good job, but they make their unhappiness known. This is not to happen again. It’s all or nothing, after all. This isn’t a new chapter, it’s not a solstitial change of 2NE1 as-you-know-them. It’s an act, however miniscule, of defiance. 

When it gets to the end of Chaerin’s rap, something compels her to shout “Forever.” She pronounces it ‘four-ever’. Four-ever, indeed.