"I never let you go, because in the back of my mind, I still believe that someday we'll get our second chance."

-- Unknown.

The sweet ambient sound of the music box – it was custom made present for her birthday and he got another one as a thank you – filled the space and once again, a long heavy sigh could be heard at the balcony. B2ST will be venturing officially into the Japanese market and they’ll be making official debut in two days time. He was less than half-hearted with their current project as he had been for the past two weeks and he wasn’t ready to leave Korea ... not until he know of Hyosung’s whereabouts. Where are you, Jeon Hyosung?

Kikwang flipped open the locket from his necklace for what seemed like the millionth times but his heart would always make a double summersault upon seeing the engraved “GH: Forever and Always” words on it. He missed her, so badly, and he would do anything ... just anything to have her back in his arms again. He wouldn’t blame her for leaving him though because he knew he had been treating her badly and he deserved it. But he still couldn’t grasp the fact that she left him so suddenly and it shaken him to the very core at the thought of the possibility of her permanently leaving him, never to be heard again.

He had been searching for her high and low ever since, asking every possible person they both knew but to no avail as no one really knew where she went. As if her presence didn’t really matter because knowing Hyosung, she had live almost her entire life as a wallflower, never bothered to mingle much with the society that was so judgemental on her so it wasn’t that surprising.

He remembered her stories of her childhood so vividly because it was one of the reasons why he grew to care and be protective of her, to shower her with unlimited amount of love since she scarcely got any. Growing up orphaned from the age of eleven after the accident that took both her parents’ life, the world had been nothing but unkind to her. They lost their only sanctuary of love and protection, whatever more with her newborn baby brother to be taken care of; she was practically carrying the weight of the world on her tiny little shoulder.

She was adopted by his neighbour, whom the husband he came to know as being abusive and violent over the years contrary to his gentle and loving wife, Mrs Park – she was, what Hyosung described as an angel and their saviour. Sadly, she passed away from an illness and Hyosung was left to fiend alone from the abuse from her adopted father. How many nights had he heard screams and children crying, and he would see bruises on her the next day at school. It was already a normal sight and most of the people around them would turn on a deaf ear as they couldn’t do anything but sympathized her and no one even bothered to call the social services.

It was similarly worse at school; people stayed away from her as she displayed a rather appalling appearance with the purplish-blue bruises (which might as well be tattooed to her skin) and they would dismiss her at first sight. He personally was disgusted with most of their behaviour. Not for him — he had come to know her better during the days when she’d cried at the back alley of their home, and he’d always be there to console her and had been ever since for years to come.

Her appearance really defied who she was actually within; bubbly, happy-go-lucky, funny, and loving. That was the thing about Hyosung; she would only open up to those whom she trusted or she’d go back to her introvert self, hence the people judgement of her of being the odd one out. Not that I cared because I have Daehyun, Omma, and you. That’s more than enough for me. She once said to him.

You had me but look what I’ve done to you? Head against the wall, he felt his heart wrench after jogging through the past memories of them. He then went over the letter she left him, again, and fought the urge to cry.

My beloved Kikwang,

Should you find this letter, my guess is right then, you must have ransacked the whole apartment. Should I call the cops? Okay, I’m kidding. Where to begin? Firstly, this is one of the hardest decisions I have to make in my life but I want you to know this is for the best ... for the both of us.

Please do forgive me for my selfishness of doing this, but my entire being couldn’t keep holding on to something that is no longer there for me – your love. It’s hard to take a role in someone’s life when you’re no longer part of the script so I’ll back off if that’s the only thing that can make your life easier and smile genuinely again. I am sorry for being a complication in your life and taking your time away from getting yourself well-known out there. Oh, congratulations on the Daesang by the way. Send my regards to the boys, and tell them I’m sorry for going away all of a sudden. I’ll miss them too.

Even if my heart is ripped to pieces for this decision I make, I do believe it’s for the best. As much as it hurts, I have to accept the fact that my presence is no longer significant in your life. I’ll only be holding you back from advancing even further in your career. Who am I kidding, right? I am no longer relevant to you, just another burden for you to carry around with Daehyun beside me.

Along with this letter is the promise ring you gave to me which I want you to keep. The only thing of yours that I kept is the music box and the necklace you gave me. I didn’t mean to keep it but I wanted something to remember you by no matter where I am. Trust me, I’ll never forget you and I’ll always miss you but again ... this is for the best.  

I wished things could have worked out better, but I’m out of options on how to patch things up when there’s none any longer. I hope you’ll find someone better for you, which obviously isn’t me and I hope you get the best of the best. When you look upon this letter, I want you to not yearn for me, not to miss me or any feelings and events that we’ve shared for the past years too.

With this, I am leaving you. I am moving far away from this place and I hope you won’t find me. Please don’t, okay? I’ll miss you and things will be strange for a while, but I’ll eventually adapt. I hope you will, too.

Much Love,

Jeon Hyosung.

“Hyosung ...” He felt his tears gathered up at the back of his throat before it rushed up, and his words came out with a sound he barely recognized. A wall of glass broke in his chest, a wall he didn’t realize he built and put up for so long. “Hyosung! Where are you?!”

Someone embraced him and rubbed his back, held him closer as she rocked him slowly in her embrace until his crying wound down. He pulled back and looked at that person, realizing it was GNa, and hung his head as his sobbed continued on.

“Kikwang, it wouldn’t do you any good crying like this. We’ll help you search for her, but we can’t proceed on if you are in this state.” GNa patted his head lovingly, like an elder sister coaxing her little brother to stop crying, and smiled sadly to him. “Wherever she is, we’ll find her. You just need to be patience and remain strong. You don’t want her to see this weak side of you, right?”

“Yeah.” Was the only replied he could managed because his throat felt as thick and stick as paste, willing the tear not to flow. He will find her, no matter what. He needed to apologize for what he had done ... even if she wouldn’t accept him back in her life.

He needed to find her.

The cool night breeze played softly around her, sending small shivers down her spine as she softly press the piano keys and Yiruma’s “Kiss The Rain” filled the living room. The heavy downpour had come to a drizzle just a while ago and the sweet smell of after-rain hung lightly in the air, bringing a calming effect to her disturbed senses. She wiped away another lone tear that trickled down her wet cheeks and breathed in deeply to regulate back her emotion – it was in a wreck, she was an emotional wreck.

Both she and Daehyun would be making another progress in their new life in Japan, with her kicking off her very first semester in the new university while Daehyun was enrolled in the class for special students within her campus itself.  Earlier, she was just making final check on the items that should be brought tomorrow, all the documents and materials needed and while at that she accidentally knocked the remaining moving box off the table. Big mistake.

The box that she swore she wouldn’t open, spill every of its content onto the floor, and tightened at the sight of the treasured mementos in it. She was almost sobbing by the time she finished browsing through each items; torn tickets to the amusement park for their first date, dozens of pictures of them two smiling happily to the camera, his cute confession letter he wrote to her, everything. Everything that had just faded and it hurt even more to know they were nothing more than mere memories.

Now her fingers remained on the keys even when the piece had come to an end for a while, and she was lost in the sea of memories that was playing in her head. She missed him. No, she missed the man whom she thought he was; his warm loving eyes would stare at her as if she was the most precious thing in his world, his bright laughter that’d enlightened her no matter how horrible the day was, his unfunny jokes that were so silly she’d always laugh to, his strong embrace that kept her warm and secure when the reality was too much to bear, his unconditional love he showered to Daehyun when he needed a brotherly figure to turn to, his soft touch and kisses would always send butterflies in her stomach even time passed by.

He completely stole her heart and soul, and she knew she could never love anyone else like she loved him. Never had it crossed her mind that it could be badly severed as time passed by, both their relationship and her heart. Every time they fought, she could feel it cracked and eventually shattered during his call that night. Her heart was taken by him, broken by him ... and now it was in pieces because of him.

She opened up the locket on her necklace, and stared at the engraved “GH: Forever and Always” words in dismal. It was her most treasured piece of him that she thought of holding on to as she couldn’t bring her heart to stack it away. There won’t be forever and always anymore, will it?

She close the lid of the piano and slowly made her way to her bedroom after making sure all the light switches were off, and sat at the corner of her bed before searching through her bag for the music box. It was the other thing she couldn’t dispose of as it was her only source for her to be able to sleep, and again, it was a present from him.

With the help of a secret heart-shaped key attached to her necklace, she inserted it in the lock and gave it a long twist to wind it up.  The soft melody of the music box slowly came to life and she was lulled to sleep in a matter of minutes, with a tinge of hope that she would feel better once she woke up the next day.

Goodnight Kikwang, wherever you are.

This is the song that inspires me for the music box:-

Utada Hikaru - First Love

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi guys! Sorry for the late update! I've been getting sick on and off for the past two weeks, and I'm still sick now. I think the entire household are having flu right now, no thanks to me. lol. So anyway, hope you'll enjoy this because I really hope you will! I think this isn't my best piece yet. Ugh, writer's block. Why do you like me so much? *cries.

And thank you for all the subs and comments! I really do appreciate it, because again, they are what keeps me going to write new chapters. I'm glad people come to a liking of this! You guys are the best! *bear hugs.

PS:

I'm like fangirling over BANG & ZELO right now. OMGASDFGHJKL. ZELO, why do you have to be sixteen for god sake? I don't want to go to jail for being a pedonoona! Why can't you be eighteen? WHY? At least Himchan and Bang Yong Gook are around my age, thank god for that. LOL.

*forever frustrated pedonoona.