Waking with a jolt, Mingyu’s eyes snap open to a now familiar room. He’s hardly surprised to find himself here now, contrary to how he’d undoubtedly normally feel.

His eyelids feel heavy as he struggles to keep them open and his body as a whole is sore and feels tired. He lays there for a few minutes just breathing in the lightly smoke tinted air, one hand resting on his lower chest, slightly shifting with each breath moving his ribcage up and down. He stares at the ceiling analyzing his situation. Reality is overwhelming and there is nothing he can do about it but it’s too much for him to take in. In heart, he is still a child. He is no different now than that twelve-year-old boy sitting alone at lunch time and feeling the pressure of society, of himself, of his parents.

The next thing he notices after a few minutes is that he’s alone, the room empty with only the light peering in through the cream colored blinds. Wonwoo is nowhere in sight and the bed next to him feels cold. Mingyu pulls his body up to sit on the edge of the bed, still wearing his tight and uncomfortable school uniform. His toes are aching as he slips on his stiff dress shoes and his white button down is ruffled, remaining un ironed. Mingyu groans as he drags a hand up across his face and through his bangs, pushing them back. They stay in position for a few seconds due to the greasy sweat coating the hairs but then fall forward messily back over his eyebrows, but not quite covering his eyes yet. If he didn’t get a haircut soon, his bangs would definitely start to reach his lash line.

With no source besides the sun for heat, the bedroom was pretty chilly. Spotting his school jacket on the bed post, Mingyu got up with weighty limbs and slipped it on and over his shoulders.

Mingyu felt out of place and lost in his environment. He wasn’t even sure if anyone else was home or where Wonwoo currently was. The feeling was almost comparable to waking up first at a sleepover and having to lay there motionless and bored for who knows how long.

Mingyu just couldn’t figure out Wonwoo. One second he was a daredevil, breaking rules and not caring what others thought while in a split second he can be awkward and silent, a feeling of emptiness surrounding him. This is what conflicted Mingyu the most. Wonwoo was unsteady and bizarre, but in a different way than Mingyu. Mingyu was terrified of being alone while Wonwoo sometimes appeared like he wishes for nothing more than to disappear and have just his own company. Despite having such different lifestyles and personalities, Mingyu and Wonwoo both had many similarities they couldn’t even see. They were both unbelievably lonely.

Mingyu didn’t want to think about it anymore as his head pounded, sleep deprived and stressed for sure. He made his way out of the bedroom, the door hinges squeaking as he pulled the door open, something he probably didn’t care to notice the previous night. A breath of relief exited his lungs as it seemed that either no one was home or they were all asleep, remembering it was probably very early in the morning. Mingyu slipped a hand into his jacket pocket and brought out his phone, unlocking it with his thumb and pointer finger to check the time. It read: 5:47

That’s right, there was still school today, it was Wednesday. Mingyu had to go to school and make believe everything was normal and that his life wasn’t falling apart behind the scenes. Thankfully, he was a master at fake smiles already.

Maneuvering through the quiet apartment, Mingyu walks out and silently closes the front door hoping nothing would happen because he doesn’t have a key to lock it.

He feels worse than any hangover could feel as he enters the elevator and signals it to go down to the lobby with a ding. Deep in his stomach a wave of nausea comes over Mingyu and he holds onto the bar connected to the metal wall in the small elevator for support.

Walking down the steps leading to the street from the building Mingyu spots Wonwoo already dressed in his school uniform, smoking a cigarette as he watches cars drive by. Wonwoo probably noticed him by then, but had no reaction as Mingyu plopped down next to him. The morning breeze brushed their hair out of place but neither of them seemed to notice or perhaps they didn’t care.  

Neither of the boys said anything, not so sure what to say to each other. Mingyu had so many questions he wouldn’t ask. He wondered what him and Wonwoo were to each other and what they would do after this, what Mingyu would do with no home. He was genuinely frightened at the possibility of someone at school finding out what had happened or somehow figuring out he was with Wonwoo. More rumors would just add onto all the stress he had. Everything around him is moving so fast and leaving him behind as he stands there, confused and afraid.

“Are your parents’ home? You should pick up some things you need.” Wonwoo asks but still doesn’t turn to look at Mingyu as he smushed his cigarette on the concrete stairs to put the flame out and rose to unlock his car.

“No, no. I can’t do that, come on. I can’t do that, I can’t stay here, Wonwoo.” Mingyu