Let’s say that tonight he would go to Japan for, even himself didn’t sure what was written on his schedule in that country. What he knew was he will go to another country and finally, ing finally, leave this country for awhile. It felt like a short getaway from all his schedule, filming, recording, practicing here and maybe a little free-vacation from his company. His manager, damn or his best friend, would never keep down his free-spirit-self. No, no more banned from night-strolling or night-clubbing or night-shopping or night-drinking.

Maybe, that was too much, Luhan really thought about how he would make huge ruckus in the morning from his night activities, because no one can handle his drunk self or too hyped self and it was proven from Lao Gao's story about how he thought he willing to throw Luhan outside their room. Let him spent the night outside, curled up in front of their room. He really didn't know what happen after his 5th glass of beer that night at France. How could he?

"No, mo more that night-drinking, Lu, We had enough, I had enough!" that was what he say when Luhan's face lighten up a little, or too much, after hearing his scheduled trip to Japan.

"Just let me," Luhan tried to defend himself, "I'm stressing myself enough here and let me loose little, for awhile."

"Last time I check, you had 8th glass of beer on that night, maybe more--I don't know--and you said it was a little?" Lao gao said, "even a little kid knows how to count."

His eyebrow lifted so high, it irked Luhan enough.

"No, 8 is not that much, excuse you! 12 is big, but 8 is not that big, people consider it not too much."

"For beer, it's much, so much! How tall your beer glass, how many times you drink, include them to your calculation. Use your math!"

Scoffed, Luhan replied, "Whatever, I still won't let that night activities slip from my hands that easy."

"You can try," he smiled and Luhan hate that kind of smile. Lao Gao surely would do anything to prevent him from his happy-pills.

Actually, it getting harder and harder for Luhan to stayed and did nothing, he desperately needed some time alone, to make his body forgot about certain someone, because his brain would love, so much, the idea of Oh Sehun inside every cell of his body.

--

Being jolted by the move from the plane, woke Luhan up from his slumber. His eyes felt heavy as he for the first time since a car-ride with Lao Gao to the airport, realized he was still wearing his shades and that's why he felt his surrounding in a black color. Took off his shades and rubbed his eyes tiredly, Luhan looked around. He turned his head to the right and from his position, he saw Lao Gao slept on the seat across.

Thank god, his manager always sleep with his eye-mask and it really prevent him from eyeing and measuring everything Luhan did.

As he looked back to the shades on his lap, Luhan thought that maybe to follow his manager words once in a while, wouldn't hurt him and maybe made his best friend slash his manager happy for short period. Luhan contemplated should he do that or stick to his plan for the night trips he more than willing to do. All of the memory from France flashed in his head while he saw the night sky outside his window.

That night super fun for him because he met a whole new person--his excuse for the night trips, "To get a new friends and maybe he will get a new link. Who knows"-- when he crazily followed all the drink-offering from his new community. But, Luhan dumbly listen to them, babbling to each other, feeling left out because he didn't understand what did they say. Frustrating himself from even tried to catch up on their conversation, Luhan ended up swallowed all beverages which shoved up into his face.

He felt tipsy after his 3rd glass but they constantly offered a drink after one, when they saw his glass empty. He couldn't say no, so he cringed when the warm liquid grazed his throat. He still remember the expression in barkeeper's face when he complied all their words, an order, maybe. Luhan thought that maybe they were talking about him,who knows.

Sighing, Luhan thought about the situation after that clubbing, drinking, make out session--okay, just a little--and he really did not remember what happened after that, nope, really zero. For the stupidity and his smallest score in his senior high school, Luhan believed he saw Sehun inside that bar. That night. The same night he was drunk heavily and barely recognize his surrounding. His brain magically kept that one memory, before his brain fast-forwarding themselves, leaving him with nothing to remember except that.

He maybe made an illusion of someone he couldn't see so often, because no way, he found that kid here. His company wouldn't allow an illegal activity like that, because it will attract so much attention from over the world and rumors gonna spread like a disease outbreak. The result from all the rumors would be in the portal site since very morning and lasted maybe for a week, worse in a month. So, Luhan rubbed his eyes harshly before opened up his eyes wider to saw the particular object at 11 o'clock position.

His theory was true, because no one resemble that kid in front of him. After that, Luhan was feeling so light and his head felt empty and imagining that he was on the sky with clouds under him as he lay down comfortably. The alcohol in his system brought him higher and higher without even considered a possibility of fall back to reality. He could hear the music drumming in his ears and his eyes blurred the pictures in front of him and then, dark. Suddenly dark color engulf him.

"! What happen to me that time?" Luhan cursed under his breath, back to his seat on flight to Japan. He felt guilty that time for making his manager panick like a mother lost his child, but was those situations worth it all? Not at all, though. Yes, he got some fun and a nice make out session but not the aftermath.

He remembered the feeling on his head when he woke up the next morning. Like someone held his head and bang it to the wall, repeatedly. Heavily, Luhan turned his head to the only voice he could hear inside his room and found Lao Gao talking to someone. The manager turned his head toward Luhan’s bed as his right hand held the device and his voice changed with disdain at the same time he said to whoever it was, “Good, I have another scolding to go. Just never show up in front of me after this phone call.” His eyes still on Luhan.

“So, you fired one of my officer? Hmm, you better than I thought,” Luhan said dazedly and groaning after that. His throat was dry. His head was throbbing.

“Yes and I wonder what will you do to him?” Lao Gao replied, walked slowly to Luhan’s bed side. “How’s your head?” he continued.

“Actually you can do whatever you want with my officer or someone else. I don’t really care, this time,” his voice so brash, he barely couldn’t recognize it. “The only thing I need right now is water,” he tried to clear his throat.

Lao Gao still for a moment, when he talked, Luhan frowned, “Can you allow me to fire myself? Or maybe give me some holiday?”

“Why so suddenly?”

“Just because.”

“No, I won’t give you that and can we talk about this later?” Luhan plead. “I really need water.”

“Just kidding. Your water is right beside you. On the nightstand,” Lao Gao sighed and walked closer again to Luhan.

Luhan looked to his side and a glass of cold water already on the tray, with a capsule of something he didn’t know, lay beside.

“What’s that?” Luhan asked as he craned his head, to point at the little thing.

“For your hangover?” Lao Gao said, uncertainty on his tone.

“Don’t ask me, I just woke up.”

The headache unbearable once he leaned on the headboard, so Luhan moved his position several times to found a better place to lessen the pain. His head did some orchestra and it made his ear ringing like a thousand music instruments played at the same time.

“Oh god,” groaning, Luhan massage his temple before looked at the Lao Gao, “give all of them to me.”

Lao Gao chuckled and finally sit near Luhan’s body when he took the glass and the capsule from the tray. He put those stuffs on Luhan waiting hands. Silence followed when Luhan put that medicine inside his mouth and his manager just stared at him, watched every move.

“I hope it works, tho,” he said, when the glass on Luhan’s hands already empty and the capsule gone.

“Huh?”

“I hope that capsule works,” he shrugged. “I googled that medicine before and asked the room service if they have that type of medicine.”

Luhan shocked expression was make Lao Gao laughed out loud and he stood up from his bed, to put some distance between them, before Luhan realized what did he say. His jaw was hanging open when he finally absorbed the meaning of that.

"You couldn't do some drug research on me, !"

"If you think I did some research on you, you must be so stupid , Lu," his laugh still deprived from his tone, "they won't release the drug if they have so much side effect!" and Lao Gao back to laughing.

"And something will show up in the news, about that deug," he continued after a short laugh.

Inside his head, Luhan cursing his best friend, who made fun of his condition and Luhan would love to fight with him, but he felt the world spinning around him. Damn, hangover! Damn beer! Damn that foreigner!

--

Standing in front of the line of people who waited for their turn to out from the plane, Luhan reconsider plan for his night trip in Japan again and tried to put himself in his manager’s shoes. Lao Gao would try to convince him to stay still inside his hotel room. He would do anything. Once, Luhan remembered, in the middle of filming his new reality show, he was so bored that Luhan made a plan to go checked and played for awhile on playground near their filming site. decided to buy an ice cream too, before he heading to his destination.

But, there was always a but in his life, because of Lao Gao. His plan went sour when Lao Gao, who was inside his room, checked on him momentarily, before he suddenly go out from there and Luhan heard the ‘clicked’ sound of locked door. He was trying so hard to stay positive, like a saint as he walked toward the light brown door of their lodge.

Once, he turned the knob. Twice, thrice and Luhan positively lost his patient together with he repeatedly turned the knob Yelling to the other side, a futile activity because the fact that the door locked from outside didn’t change.

“ you!” Open this door, Lao! You stupid, damn bastard!”

“Say whatever you want,” he answered calmly, “but you knew the answer. Nope, nope.”

The flashback did not continue, cut off by someone bumped into him. Luhan turned around and glared at his manager. In his head, he got the conclusion: back to square one.

Lao Gao could do anything to prevent him and he could go straight to the hell because, Luhan would avenged that day in this trip. So, what about France? Didn't count as one. Whatever! He would find away at the end to go outside. Luhan smirked at Lao Gao’s head, because his manager busily tapping on his phone, without realizing Luhan’s new determination.

Back to the back of people in front of him, made Luhan forgetting Lao Gao. Saw that his manager already activated his phone, Luhan fished out his phone from front pocket of his bag. When the device on, he found a white box with a word ‘Dismiss’.

Crap! He totally forgot about that. He was busy with his ipod without considering the condition of his phone. Luhan put his phone into airplane mode and shifted forward, the line in front of him was moving. He turned to the left side of the door, when he out and stopped, to checked on his belonging inside his bag. Standing inside the aisle of the plane’s connecting way to the airport building, Luhan rummaged his bag, tried to find something.

“What did you forget?” Luhan kinda surprise when he heard Lao Gao’s voice near him.

“Why did you ask? Why you directly ask about me forgetting something?” he asked, eyes still on his bag.

“Because that’s what you did everytime we had an overseas schedule, airhead,” Lao Gao said, phone off, still on his grip. “So, what item you didn't bring today?”

Luhan speechless, jaw opened, finally looked his manager. His eyes comically big, as he glared at him.

“Ugh,” Luhan groaned, “my cable, my charger. I think I left them,” his voice sound defeated. He checked his bag again and this time, he, double positive, forgot his chargers.

“Lu, how many times I told you to not forget about your stuffs? Recheck before you leave,” his manager said, face palming. He continued his step toward the exit, while looked back, “Let’s go find a store, we can buy one from there.”

Didn't even hesitate, “Nice idea,” Luhan nodded, forgetting about his bag.

He took one step and something felt off. Checked on his back, his bag was . He zipped the bag and took out his phone when suddenly, light bulb showed up above his head. reaching for Lao Gao’s hand, Luhan stopped his manager movement.

“What?”

“Lend me yours,” Luhan said softly. He needed that now.

Lao Gao stared blankly at him. “I don’t want to do that,” and he pulled back his hand. “You deserve it, at least.”

Luhan could hear, Lao Gao held back his laughter.

“Just for 10 minutes, or no, 30 minutes.” Luhan was still trying. “Please,” he added at the end. His voice tight.

“Let’s find a store and we can buy from there,” that was what Lao Gao said. Repeated his words before.

Luhan scowled at his manager’s back and stomped his feet to walk faster than him. Wanted to turned back and arguing with Lao Gao, but something stole all of his attention, rapidly.

He did not realize his surrounding when he was out from the plane just now. Accidentally, looked at the field outside, he found a familiar object. Someone's face, precisely.

One of the billboard attached to the window on the right side of his position, had Sehun’s face as the image of their brand. Luhan who still felt petulant, now his feeling turned to blue. He looked down, before took a deep breath and eyeing the picture for the last time as he moved again, toward the exit door of this aisle. For a while, he put aside Sehun to the back of his mind and focusing himself to search what he needed.

Inside the airport, it had some store where he maybe could find his charger items, but Luhan searching for the legal store. He wouldn’t want his phone being charged by an illegal item, so he looked left and right to find the exact store. Dumfounded, Luhan stopped again in front of one of the store as he stared at the picture--again--of Sehun in suit, black suit, which for your information, fit his lean body perfectly.

“,” Luhan cursed under his breath. He really tried to trashing-bin all about Sehun, at least pushed that man into the dark side of his brain. He tried to get rid  Sehun’s face when he knew about Luhan's departure, his face when Luhan finally leave him, Sehun’s angry message  on that day too and Sehun who didn’t even try to contact him after that.

Surely, today, God played some joke on him from the exit door of his plane, from the billboard and now this advertisement. This airport throw all of his efforts to kill that guy mentally. Luhan feeling like being mocked by the nature and God, because this happen even in every place he go.

Luhan totally forgot, here, he was in Japan! He must be everywhere and Luhan must be crazy when he accepted the offer before. Sighing, no turn back, anyway. So, Luhan stepped back from his place, eyes still on Sehun’s picture. Now, he felt like a broken hearted man had a nightmare in their holiday. Shifted his gaze, to the surrounding, Luhan forgot his initial aim to get new a cable for his phone. He looked confuse.

Processing to his purpose, Luhan walked again toward the store he looking for, without realizing the fact of Lao Gao witnessing his unexpression face when he saw the picture.

--

Luhan ate the last bread he had when he heard the bell of his room ringing. The food he waited finally arrive. Opened the door, he found a silver tray and the bellboy who held his food, smiled at him. Smiled back, Luhan took the food and smiled for the last time, before closing the door. Luhan sighed as he back into the living room and sat in front of the tv which showed a show he didn’t know and understand.

Luhan opened the silver cover and found his ordered food, still hot and looked delicious. Put aside the cover and the tray, Luhan took the utensil and started to eat his food. His eyes focused on the food and barely listening to the tv. A breaking news, which he ignored, came up with a picture of airport filled by a girl with camera and a group of boys in casual clothes walked out from the vip access line. So, nature tried to set them up again, this time.

The doorbell rang again when Luhan finish with his food and walked to get the door open. Lao Gao stood like a mad man, his expression gave away. He emerged his way to Luhan’s room.

“What are you doing?” he asked so suddenly. His manager eyes were on the tv. Luhan confusedly back to the sofa in front of his tv and slowly cleaned up the rest of utensils he use.

“I’m eating my food?” Luhan answered.

“Oh.” the only word Lao Gao said. His face went back to normal, didn’t look like a mad man anymore, but the new expression showed up.

“I’m eating my food,” Luhan repeated, sounded firm this time. "I'm not lying, okay?"

Lao Gao carefully looked into Luhan’s eyes and when he found nothing other than a curious eyes of what others he wanted to know,  Lao Gao released a breath of relief.  

“I thought you would do some business inside your room,” Lao Gao said, still standing near the sofa Luhan sat on. He heard Lao Gao purposely harden his tone

“Not today, maybe?”

Lao Gao finally sat down on the sofa, huffing. What did he say after that, made Luhan heart jumped to his throat, “they were here. Sehun and his guys.”

For God sake, Luhan’s hand stopped mid-air. If his heart could do the same, he maybe wouldn't be here anymore. Nonetheless, his face did not show any expression.

“So? What you want me to do?”

Lao Gao looked tired for the first time after their arrival, even he did not looked tired when they reached the airport back in Beijing. His eyes closed, the expression on his face was a guilt.

“I don’t even know they will do the recording of their new album here,” he continued after a 5 seconds of silence.

Luhan stayed in his position, his body rigid, but now the hand which hold the glass before already on his lips. His throat even drier than the one when he had a hangover. Stupid of him to think he could escape from Sehun.

“That was not your fault, though. No one can predict their future” softly Luhan replied. He put down his head, thought about how close he was right now with Sehun. Yeah, they were in the same country, but Luhan had no idea of where Sehun would be right now. Where he would stay for the time he was here or what schedule he had in Japan. Frustrating, Luhan groaned and leaned into the sofa, felt defeated again. Even worse. One thing Luhan realize was, even if he tried to lay down his feeling toward Sehun, he didn't have any power to stop himself for hoping he finally could meet Sehun.nEven, he didn't know how to do that

“I…” he trailed off, “I want to see him, Ge.”

Lao Gao who sat next to him, stared at Luhan. His face still guilty, feeling he failed to make Luhan enjoyed his trip. He took a deep breath, when he touched Luhan’s shoulder and said, “You better not trashing-bin this chance, Lu.”

Luhan covered his face with both his palms, he heard Lao Gao clearly. He did inhale-exhale therapy and count to 10, when he removed his palms and staring back to Lao Gao.

He really, really want to met that guy. His heart longing for his touch, his face, his skin, his smile, his eyes, his everything. Every cell in Luhan’s body called that man’s presence. Everytime he saw that guy on the tv, the feeling seem bigger and bigger and Luhan knew he would explode in near time. The only thing which could beat was his heart and it beating faster than it should be, when he heard what Lao Gao said, but something hold up all of his longing toward Sehun and logically, he did not know what happen the moment he met Sehun.

“Where did you know they were here?” Luhan finally responding. He still not fully believe what his manager said.

“This channel,” he moved his head toward the tv, “it showed the news about their arrival at the airport, here.” Lao Gao answered.

“Damn!" Luhan shouted, "Thanks God, I didn’t know about it when I was eating.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah, I might be throw up and heading back to the airport.”

“How could you do that? You’re not eyeshield 21, Lu.” Lao Gao’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“At least I can ask his fans where do they stay here and…”

“And you will end up in the hospital," Lao Gao, successfully made his plan imto pieces,   "because the fact that you’re an artist plus an ex of that group would make you black and blue." Lao Gao saw Luhan’s expression, “and you think they would let you go that easily? Think again.”

“At least, right? If I can't do that, let me contact Lay,” Luhan began to move around, looking for his phone. He mumbled about why he didn’t think about that earlier.

“I’m leaving!” after a while of Luhan unpresence in the living room, Lao Gao said. He stood up from the sofa and added, “don’t do stupid things, Lu. You know better, right?” and he left.

Luhan, dumbstruck by the words, tiredly sat up on his bed, the phone still on his hand. For real, Luhan didn't even unlocked his phone, when he found it. He sat on his bed, his mind went blank.

Luhan heard the closed door as Lao Gao took his leave. He contemplated his previous idea to call Lay. He maybe got the exact address, Lay absolutely would give him their address and  even Sehun's room number, if he ever call him. But then, after that? What would he do? What would he do with that address? He could never get an access into their hotel because, who will let him in? No one would go open the door and let him into their territory. They would think him as stranger.

Awfully, Luhan felt the food before, reaching up into his mouth. An urge to throw up started to fill his body. He felt the acid taste in his throat, tried to suppress the food to came out from where them get in. Closing his eyes, he gulped the lump inside his throat, while he imagine something which could lessen the feeling, even better deaden it. What came into his mind was a scenario of he and Sehun finally met.

Imagining that, when they met, Sehun would give him his personal smile, the smile he would show only to Luhan, only him. Maybe they would meet in one of the park here. Maybe they would meet inside one of the store or maybe met in that restaurant where once they spent their night together, drinking, eating and kissing.

His lips, Luhan sighed. Damn, he missed every taste of Sehun in his lips. Every synchronized move of their lips, every sweep of his tongue in his lips while they make out. The touch of his hands, the touch of his fingertips in Luhan’s neck or face or waist, and Luhan could feel the way Sehun lips stretch, smiling into their kiss. He missed every little thing they would do after that deep kiss.

Like, Sehun would distance his face, staring at Luhan’s eyes and Luhan would do the same, look into those big eyes with deep brown color on the iris. Luhan found himself drowning inside his eyes, those were baseless. But, even though they were baseless, Luhan still could breathing and standing so steadily and he knew, Sehun had a place for him even in his eyes. People might feeling intimidated by his gaze but Luhan see something else and so stupid of him, he couldn’t name that.

Or when Sehun suddenly cupped his face, once they were in backstage of their concert and look at him again with his eyes. This time the room was so dark and Luhan couldn’t recognize Sehun’s expression. He suddenly being kissed by Sehun on his nose then he kissed his forehead.

“I’m full of sweat, Hun,” Luhan downed his head, hotness in his cheeks. He was so shy, he barely stare at Sehun. What did he just doing?

Sehun gently lifted up his head, his finger on Luhan’s chin. He stared at Luhan again and Luhan wondering what did he see in him.

“That feels weird, yeah, but at least I can kiss you,” Sehun answered. He chuckles when he saw Luhan sour expression, “I really want to kiss your lips, but let’s do that after the concert. Here is too open,” he continued make Luhan’s face hot. Oh god, how could he leave this man? When everything he did with Sehun was one of the best thing he ever had.

Luhan smiled for awhile, thinking about Sehun and their happy moments together. Those memories made him glad, smiled wider, laughed louder, but at the same time cried harder and he let that thing slipped from his eyes. He was crying.

No blood but it felt like his heart bleeding again, the old wound opened up again. They were so close, yet nothing could make them together, side by side. It was his choice, and Luhan deserved every consequences of his action and let him be the only witness of his fragileness.

--

Someone ringed the bell outside his room when Luhan opened his eyes. Comparing to his condition before, Luhan felt better. He got the white sheets under his head damp. Luhan felt something crawled into his cheeks and he felt warm. Did he just cried? Precisely, cried for someone who he left behind as he moved to another place, to get better, to get finer, to get slightly feeling alive. He had that thought of maybe if he leave now, he could get that things back, his freedom.

But the moment he reached airport, Luhan stand still in front of the door, couldn’t move his body. Something pulled him back. If not for Lao Gao made him stick with his decision, he could turn around and took back his words, because the thought of leaving Sehun, cutthroat his heart. He felt numb. But again, he repeat that word which tell him that this was for himself, for Sehun. For Sehun to get a better place. He had to be the tougher one, so Luhan proceeding all the painful process. Even he knew that nothing went right after he pushed off all of their togetherness for something that only suffice what he wanted not what he needed.

Luhan heard the bell again, someone still ringing his bell. Now, the bell ringing with an urgency in it and Luhan got up from the bed, moving slowly. His head spinning and his eyes heavy. His hands automatically rubbed his eyes and Luhan cursed, it stung. Lao Gao might be want to check him, whether he was still in his room or not. He turned the knob and nothing happen. What? He tried once again and nothing move.

The latch still attached and Luhan knocked his head on the door repeatedly. What happen to his now? The bell ring again and Luhan woke up from his dumbself. Unlocked the latch, Luhan turned the knob again and the door moved.

He had a moment of silence, 3 whole seconds. His hands and feet felt cold, like suddenly all the blood on his system, drained from his body in one flow. Luhan blinked several times, did this really happen in his life or not? Did this such a dream because he would love to wake up and never dreamt about such things. He better did something with himself but he still felt his eyes sting and his forehead hurt. This was so ing real. Real Real Real.

He wanted to move his hand, to reached for the man in front of him and feeling for his skin. His nerve and his brain didn’t in their best condition and he ended up standing like a statue. The only thing he could do was he couldn’t take his eyes from the beauty in front of him. The only thing his brain could do right now was blinking, breathing, indicate he was still alive. Not suddenly lost conscious and made fool of himself.

“Will you let me in? Or you rather left me again here, now, this time?” that man was joking, Luhan could tell about that but there was something behind it. Hurted, he felt hurt, Sehun felt hurt. Luhan hurt him.

Luhan take a look on his man, once his man, appearance. Slowly, started from his hair. It was jet black, no hint of other colour. luhan remember the experiments they did with Sehun hair and loved the idea of they finally put his natural color. He looked so much handsome.

Down to his eyes, Luhan saw that it still that deep brown and something still living inside them but that was dimmed, Luhan barely recognized them if he did not intently stare into them. There was something else, Luhan could name it directly when Sehun tried to smile. Hurt, pain, sadness, longing. Luhan recognized them, much to his dislike.

Sehun looked taller than the last time he saw that man. His features seemed much better. He gained some weight and some muscles too, something Luhan faintly see through his casual tee. A white tee with a picture of unicorn in discordant color and shapes. Feeling satisfied of Sehun's condition now, Luhan wanted to look back into Sehun's face.

Somehow, he would do anything to touch that face, kiss it, do everything he always wanted to do, but if he could only stare at it, he would take that too. He was more than willing to take every chance he could get, right now.

Seemed like he forgot about what Sehun said before, Luhan found Sehun raised his brow, like mocking him and Luhan felt ashame. He forgot to say yes for Sehun's request. Sehun looked younger when he had that humor in his lips, smiling or smirking, Luhan loved them all.

“I--yes of course,” softly, Luhan retaliate. There was a twinkle in Sehun's eyes while Luhan said that.

When Luhan brought back his eyes into Sehun, suddenly he found himself being pushed in. Of course, Sehun did that and Luhan shocked for a moment because he thought someone caught them together. He really want to ask something, so much thing he wanted to know why, but forgotten due those hands owned by Sehun were on his hips. Sehun closed the door with his legs and Luhan heard a soft 'thud’ from back there before Sehun took his lips into his possession. God, it was feeling like an ancient age last time they did it.

All of the coherency in his head gone, all of them. Curiosity, insecurities, anger, sadness, all gone the moment Luhan felt Sehun's lips on his own. Real, not an artificial things he dreamt when he sleep or when he missed him. Or when he dreaming about Sehun and woke up alone without no one next to him, feeling depressed because in his dream he was with him. Luhan couldn't remember how many times he wished that Sehun was with him. Sharing their moments together like they used to.

Luhan was so shock with his eyes still wide open, but slowly, he closed them, want nothing more than to saved every moments he had with Sehun. So, Luhan closed his eyes and gave away. He put all his weight into Sehun's arms and Sehun pulled his body closer. He gave not only his body but as well as his heart. He would give his everything, all of it.

In front of Sehun, Luhan felt bold and stronger. Better and lighter, like all of his problems lifted up from his shoulder. Braver.

He pushed Sehun into the door and, harden the kiss. Sehun responded it with titling his head, to get a better position. He was so eager to kiss Luhan, Luhan forgot to take a breath when Sehun putting in his tongue to met them in the middle with Luhan's. No way he could break this kiss. Gasping, Luhan felt Sehun tugged on his lips and Luhan couldn't suppress the lust inside his body. He reached for Sehun's back hair, it, softly, being opposite to what he did together with their lips.

But, his lungs screamed for breathing and Sehun seemed need to catch a breath too before both of them ended up on the floor, fainted. So, Sehun backed a little, his breath still connecting with Luhan. They were gasping, their heart was erratic. Sehun searched for Luhan's eyes but Luhan still closing his eyes, focusing all his sense on the distance between their lips separated by  only one breath.

Luhan felt Sehun's hand moving and it shaken him in a bad way for Luhan’s guts. But, it was a stupid thing to think, because he felt those hands now, both on his cheeks. Cupping his face, Sehun brushed his thumb in Luhan's eyelids.

“Did you just cry?” Sehun softly asked Luhan.

Luhan took a deep breath before he slowly open his eyes and found Sehun. He didn’t answer that question, but instead he looked into the perfection, shaped into Sehun. Still real, still so bright, still full of glow, still perfect. His lips now red and glistening, an evident of what did they do was real. So, real Luhan wanted to slap himself for doubting that this was unreal.

"Are you even real?" Luhan voice his mind, he did not regret it though.

"Are you asking me if I'm real or not?" Sehun chuckled, his eyes shining.

"Yes, I do," Luhan hesitated for a moment. He bite his lips, did he really want Sehun to know the reason why he asked. The fact that he always dream about this man, always imagining things with him. Imagining if they were still together, maybe they will have so much beautiful moment. Not this kind of moment, when they were all alone, not together. Pain and sadness all over.

"What should I do to make you believe?" Sehun's question brought his mind back into reality. He still had his mischievous smile in his lips. Sehun got closer.

Luhan really need to know, did he real or not. He removed Sehun's hands from his face, kissed his palm before put it on both side of Sehun's body. Sehun looked so confuse, wonder what his man would do. This time, Luhan was the one who reached for Sehun. He put both his palms on Sehun's face. He felt the texture of his skin, the softness under his hands, God's creation of his man. Sehun's eyes suddenly showed an expression that he understand what Luhan would do. Sehun, closing his eyes and a tiny smile on his lips, leaned on to Luhan's touch. Luhan took that as a sign to continue his action.

"You're real, Hun. You're real," Luhan said as his finger traced Sehun's eyelids. He did what Sehun did just before. Sehun let his breath out.

Luhan chanted that words, like a mantra while he gently touch every parts of Sehun’s face. His forehead, his nose, his cheeks and lastly, his lips. Luhan’s touch was so soft, he slowly caressed every body part. When finally Luhan already touch everything except that one, he hesitated. Would Sehun like if he touch his lips?

His hands trembled a little when  he touched, that soft parts. And Sehun’s eyelids flutter as he opened his eyes when Luhan did that. Luhan looked like a little kid found his new favorite thing when Sehun staring at his face. He was so focus and Sehun let that thing without saying any words and closed his eyes again.

Luhan touched that lips as his eyes looked into that parted pairs and he shorten the distance between them. He looked into Sehun still closed eyes and decided this time, he would take the initiative. So, he shorten that distance again until he couldn’t feel any other than Sehun’s lips and shamelessly, Luhan took the lead.

Moving his lips together with Sehun was one of the thing he would do everyday, every hour, every minute, every second and time was a relative thing when he was with Sehun. 3 whole minutes feeling like a second, when Luhan moved his lips against Sehun. Tugging, , , biting, playing with his tongue and Luhan found that Sehun let him did that.

He seemed so passive, but Luhan knew, this time it should be him to take the lead. He didn’t want Sehun to think that Luhan did never miss him. That Luhan didn’t happy about him rang his bell and woke him up from his sleep and made his heart beating so hard until it hurt. Because, who was he trying to fool? Maybe himself. But, today was a prove that Luhan never stop loving this man. Even though, he tried to forget him, everything inside his body, screamed for Sehun and Luhan could never lie to himself. He might be look like a very cold human being for leave him, but Luhan knew, Sehun would never be forgotten even if he dying.

Sehun’s hands brought him closer when Luhan break the kiss, saw that Sehun already open his eyes.

“I still need to ask you, so I can believe that you’re real.” Luhan said.

Sehun laughed his boyish laughed and Luhan couldn’t move when he heard that. He missed that sound. He missed that tone of his laugh.

“Sure, what do you want to ask?” his eyes was twinkling.

Luhan thought for a moment and finally said, “why you’re here? How could you know I’m here?”

Sehun did not directly answer his question but snuggled his head into Luhan’s neck and his voice muffled, “Because, I finally have a chance to see you again, how can I keep pretending that I didn’t miss you?”

“Lao Gao told me that you will have a little vacation in Japan and he told me about that like a month ago,” Sehun trailed off, “when I knew about that, I booked a ticket at that moment, hoping to see you again after all this time.”

“And after that, I’m waiting for this day, thinking about you, about thing we can do. Maybe, playing in some playground, or eating ice cream or anything. Do anything a couple usually do when they have a date. I guess heaven really want us to be together again, because we have a schedule at the same time with your arrival,” Sehun continued.

Luhan listened to what he said, feeling grateful for his manager. For all this time they were a best friend, maybe this was the best thing his manager ever did.

“So, Lao Gao told you about this place?”

Luhan felt Sehun nodding. He grinned so wide as he brought his fingers in Sehun’s soft lock.

“You’re real, right, Hun?” Luhan asked again.

And he suddenly lifted Luhan onto his arms, took them into the bed. When Sehun put down Luhan on it and crawled his ways to Luhan, who moved his body further to the middle of the bed, suddenly someone decided to push his bell.

Someone rang his bell again and Luhan stare into Sehun. But, why Sehun looked blur? Sehun did not move from his position too. What, what was this?

He reached for Sehun but Sehun became more and more unfocus in Luhan’s eyes. He reached for Sehun again and their distance getting bigger and bigger everytime Luhan wanted to grasp his man feature.

Did he crying? Did this because of that? Luhan brought his hand into his eyes, rubbed it hard. No trace of tears, but Sehun still looked blur. He wanted to call Sehun, but his voice failed him. He tried again, but he couldn’t find his voice. Luhan opened his mouth, but nothing could be heard. Nothing. Sehun’s shape became whiter and whiter, getting far away and Luhan cried, shouted his name. Next thing he knew, he lost his voice, together with he found black covering him.

--

Gasping, panted for air, Luhan found he was still in his bed, something quickly rolling down from his eyes. He cried again, but this time harder. ! ! He cursed as he dipped down his head into the pillow, trying to suppress his cries. Luhan screamed to no one, cried for how miserable his life now because even between reality and expectation, he couldn’t tell the difference. Even when the fact that Sehun would find him in the middle of Japan was looked like  a very bad joke. God must be hate him so much for making his hope so high and the next thing he knew, he was dropped back to the earth, hurt so damn much. It was a ing dream.

Nothing happened, nothing. It was his own hope for Sehun to come and kiss him and him hard and saying that he missed Luhan, that he never stop loving him. It was only his hope, it was only his empty wishes, because no one could make it come true beside that one person. And Sehun didn’t even try to do something to made things real between them. He wanted to kiss, touch and maybe punch him too, but nothing could happen if no one between them took the first step. If he waited for Sehun to do something, Luhan doubted it would happen.

Maybe, Sehun didn’t know that he was here, that they were in the same country, so damn close.

Maybe, Sehun didn’t know that Luhan never forget about him, that Sehun never leave his mind.

Maybe Sehun didn’t know that Luhan miss him so much, he lost count of how many times Sehun appeared in his dream, both good dreams or bad dreams.

Maybe Sehun didn’t know that Luhan would always check on him from Lay or Xiumin, or Chen, or anyone, anyone who had a connection with him. Why never once Luhan directly contacted Sehun?

Maybe Sehun wouldn’t know that Luhan never stop loving him even for a miliseconds. That nothing could ever change his love to Sehun, nothing could lessen his love for Sehun. That nothing could change everything in him now. Nothing could bring back to the old him back, because the changes which Sehun made was permanent. He would always love him. Always and forever. So, what should he do?

Luhan rose from his bed, went to his bathroom to wash his face. He looked a zombie staring back into him when he stood in front of the big mirror inside the bathroom. He needed to refreshing himself, Luhan thought. Putting his hand under the tap, Luhan cupped as many water as he could and splash it into his face, washing his face with a cold water.

Luhan changed his attire into his black jeans, white tee and a black jacket. He took out his black cap from his suitcase and take a look at his appearance. At least he presentable enough to go outside.

He walked into the living room with his phone on his hand, lighten up the device. He needed at least Lao Gao to know where was Sehun and the rest of stay. Luhan looked into the floor and found a piece paper near the door. He did not remember dropping something.

He looked back into his phone, tried to call his manager. His phone in his ear, when Luhan put on his shoes. He waited for Lao Gao to answered his call, but his call being unanswered. Stood in front of the door, Luhan wondered what was that paper, so he took that and found someone’s handwriting on it.

“Are you okay? I miss you.”

Luhan could feel his heart beat faster, faster than when Sehun finally took him into his, faster when he finally said that he wanted to go, eft Sehun behind. When he read that note, the only thing that crossed his mind was Sehun.

Hastily, he opened his hotel room door, looking for someone. Empty. Luhan went out from his room, running, heading to the elevator on this floor, maybe he still have time. Maybe he could make it.

When he stopped the almost-closed door, Luhan saw him. Luhan saw Sehun inside that elevator, shock expression decorate his face. They stood face to face, feeling like his heart stop pumping blood into his body. It felt like someone drowned him in cold water, he had trouble breathing and his body so cold. Luhan could feel a shiver on his body, shaking him in delight.

The door was closing again and Sehun quickly pushed the open button and stepped out from there. He looked into Luhan’s attire.

“What are you planning to do?” he asked. "Where are you planning to go?"

“I was planning to find your place,” Luhan said as he took a little step toward Sehun.

“So, you want to find me?" Sehun said. "You don’t have, Lu. I found you already.”

“I thought you didn’t know that I’m here.”

“No one could hide you from me,” Sehun confidently took a step too.

Luhan couldn’t take it anymore and he jumped into Sehun, hugging him and put his head on Sehun's neck, inhaling his scent, “I miss you too and,” his voice so little, yet he knew Sehun heard him.

Luhan, for the first time, beside the one in his dream, kissed Sehun first, on his lips. He would bring this kissing scene in front of an elevator to his room and made his dream come true.

“I lo-” Luhan would said it, when Sehun put his finger on his lips, kept his mouth shut.

And that was the last words Luhan said because Sehun lifted his body into his arms, brought him back into his room.

“You know what. Keep your three confession words for later," Sehun brought his face closer to Luhan.  "Let’s skip the question part."

“Let me hear you scream out my name with that three words followed, for tonight.” Sehun's breath ghostly caress his neck.m

Luhan felt his body react to that word, he trembled, “do me hard.”

And Sehun kissed him again, hardly, and Luhan eased his jaw for Sehun to slipped his tongue. His hands now rounding Sehun's neck and his fingers pulled Sehun's jet black hair softly. They were still kissing when Sehun firmly walked to Luhan's room.

When they finally inside, excluded from both their world, forgetting the fact that the'd be on the news. Because, that was so unimportant in front of the lust which bring them into Luhan's unmade bed.

Sehun pulled his body closer and followed the lead. Luhan bumped into Sehun's hard chest and another hard thing hit Luhan's thigh. Groaning, Luhan brought back Sehun's lips into his and told Sehun not to prolong this, to just do it. This time for real. Everything was real.

He had so many things he wanted to ask and to talk to. Let he had all of Sehun only for himself, tonight and tomorrow. Even better forever, but Luhan knew there was a limit. That’s why, like he said, he would take every chance and savour every moment he had with Sehun, because that was the only way and Luhan grateful enough.

Ah, Luhan wouldn't forget to tell Sehun how he missed him, how he never stop love him and that Sehun would hearing more than just his name tonight, cause Luhan had three little words he's been dying to tell since forever.

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/I LOVE YOU GUYS!! ENJOY!!/