Damn…

If she didn’t already feel crappy enough, she had to run into the group she liked at the same food place that she planned on eating.   Did she seem as depressed as she looked?  Myra didn’t want to ignore them and seem rude and so she turned around.  In all honesty, she was actually kind of surprised that they even said hi to her and waved a bit shyly back at them.   She hoped to whatever deity out there that was listening that she seemed chipper and happy instead of like she was wishing the world’s biggest hole would swallow her up.

Maybe if she started listening to ‘old people’ music then she wouldn’t have these issues.  Well screw it.   It isn’t like she had any hopes or dreams of ever dating one of the handsome idols and they were just people like her.

Therefore, when Kiseop starting asking her a question in which she caught the words ‘shirt’ and ‘how’, she blinked and looked at Eli, Kevin, or AJ in hopes they would translate for her.  

“He asked if you made your shirt.” Eli said with a smile. 

Myra smiled back and then looked at Kiseop.  “Yes, I did.  It took me a while but I just bought a t-shirt online and then decorated it with iron-on letters, glitter, and a special printer that allows me to print pictures on iron-on fabric which is how I have the picture of you guys on my back.” she said and turned around to show off the shirt in the back as Kevin took over and translated that for his bandmates.

Soohyun smiled.  “That is very cool.” he said in the English that he knew.

“Arigato.” Myra said in Japanese and quickly apologized.  She was human and she made mistakes. 

“How come you answered in Japanese?” Kevin asked a bit curious and wondered if this was their fan inadvertently assuming they could speak all Asian languages due to their race.

Myra inwardly sighed at her faux pas.  “I tend to do that.  Don’t worry.   My friends all speak English and I will randomly inject other languages into what I say.  I studied and study a lot of Asian languages and watch a lot of things to try and pick up on the language and how it is used.”

“Oh. That’s pretty cool.” Kevin answered when she told him.  “So… tell us who your favorite member or members are?” he asked with a bright smile.

They are the kings of fanservice, aren’t they? Myra thought as she tapped her chin a bit.  “I love you all to be honest.  I suppose if I had to choose biases, they would be Kevin and Hoon.  In a ranking order I suppose they would be Kevin, Hoon, Soohyun, Kiseop, Eli and Jun.”

She looked amused as the guys all tried to up their ranking with different forms of aegyo and how Soohyun was saying things like ‘What’s so good about Kevin?’ in obviously playful tones.  It was the youngest that made her remember that she was depressed.

His translated words ended up being something along the lines of “Hey! She is one of the calmest KissMes that we’ve met so far on this tour.  How come?”

Myra bit her lip.  How should she explain this?  Logically and straightforward would seem to be her best options in the second most awkward situation with a celebrity in her life.  “Well, in all honesty, I didn’t expect to meet you guys and I didn’t expect that you guys would acknowledge me.  I’m not young and vibrant.  I suppose my complexion is something that I figured just wouldn’t be too acceptable either, but I love the music and so yeah.”

Eli looked confused.  Of course, the Korean-American had seen plenty of couples who didn’t look like one another.  It just didn’t seem like a big deal.  Not that he thought she was talking about dating one of the members, but hey most of the members he had even watched some videos off would have a bit of a fantasy about their idols.  “Why does that make you calmer? I would think it would make you upset.”

AJ was translating the conversation to the other members, excluding the English speaking Kevin.

A laugh left Myra’s lips.  “I am a bit too old to get upset about things like that and I don’t even look it.   No, seriously though, you guys are just people.  Famous people, but people none the less.  It makes me calmer because I never really had those fantasies completely.  I’ve had some.  How could I not? You guys with your music and music videos are simply amazing talents.  At a little bit older than Soohyun, I realize that it is pointless to fantasize about something you’d never have a chance at.  Granted… I never thought I’d get to meet or talk to you guys so… yeah.  I just automatically believe people see me and think of a less desirable person to be friends with or date.  It’s cool.”

It was Soohyun who got up once the translation was done, grabbed her hand, and brought Myra down to sit with them.  “You should have more faith in yourself.  You are pretty.”

Myra smiled brightly and thanked the leader, but she didn’t believe it.  She did appreciate the effort, but she wasn’t an idiot.  There was also the pessimism in the back of her mind from the fans that she was thinking of what horrible things they might say behind her back.  According to many ‘reviews’ of Korean guys online, she was wondering if they saw her as a bad person actually or ‘exotic’ due to her skin color or since she was American, then did they see her as ‘easy’.

Of course, she’d never say this out loud and her inner fangirl was squealing because Soohyun touched her arm, but she was so calm on the outside.  She had already put herself down enough that she was sure she couldn’t even manage a tentative association that might turn into friendship.

It was fun though.  The entire meeting she gave her opinions on things or got their opinions on things.  She admitted to ‘secretly’ checking out Kevin’s Instagram and wanting to tell Kevin to ‘go the hell to sleep’ due to some of those photos.   This caused Kevin to look embarrassed and the other guys to laugh.

At the end of the fun, she somehow could not resist when giving Kevin her phone number though the puppy dog eyes might have had something to do with that and each guy her email address.  She simply said that she could help them with English or use google translate like crazy to try and be an ear to talk to.   They didn’t have to worry about anything being spread because really she didn’t talk to anyone or people gave her weird looks for liking the music.  Also, even though they were idols, she felt they deserved their privacy and in a joking manner stated she didn’t need hundreds of younger KissMes trying to find her.  She was a bit too old to run that fast.

One of the members was happy and yet as they left the restaurant, he was confused.  He had been told that certain people weren’t as desirable and it was portrayed in some of the things he had seen and even heard.  However, the KissMe he had just met was different than the stereotypes or the music artists that he had seen.  It was a nice change, but it was also weird since he found her personality to be... well... attractive.