Zitao was always keen of keeping everything he felt written on his journal. Instead of chattering away his worries and excitement to a friend, he prefered to write on his journal about it.  Unlike people, journals never complained about  his long,boring, sometimes pointless stories.  It always gives Zitao its full attention, always patient to take in everything he felt about.  His anger, his sadness, and often one or two drops of tears on the pages.

Zitao have always been on the quiet side, never wanting to worry everyone else with his problems. But it’s not like he doesn’t have any friends. He have not many, only a few but  fortunately, the ones who really cares about him. But even to those friends he can’t opened up easily.  He loves them, that’s more reason why he should never bother them with little things like being alienated by his peers in classes or crushing on that guy who sat next to him in english class.

That night he was feeling so stuffy.

Zitao opened the window and sighed happily at the feeling of fresh breeze entering the room.  He stuck his head out of the window and looked up to the night sky, later finding himself getting disappointed. Not many stars can be seen tonight. He was feeling melancholic, out of the blue. Or maybe just because he missed that certain someone’s gummy smile and handsome laugh.

He opened up his old journal, tauting his eyebrows at the chipped cover and its 3 leafs left to write on and made a mental note of buying a new one this weekend.  He flipped through the old sheets reading some notes he had written few months back and winched at the cheesiness of the content. This is really embarassing, he thought. But it’s all better be written here than to trust  it to some friends who could mention it sometimes later just to .

He stared at the blank space of the book and twirled his pencil, wondering off to the thought of a certain someone. Zitao thought of that guy an awful lot these days. And tonight was one of that times.  That guy’s  tall figure, his awkward walking style, his always crouching back, his goofy gummy smile. His chest feels fulls and his cheeks getting hot at the memory of when their arms brushed against each other’s. But instead of writing a full length novel about it he was just staring at the paper, finding himself unable to write anything.

Two hours passed and he had only written one word.

Kris.

***

A few days after, at a freezing morning zitao found himself grinning real wide in front of his mirror while brushing his dark silky hair. Today there will be 2 shifts of english class. And that means, he would meet Kris today.

After a few rushed preparations of what outfit to wear, what shoes would compliment his looks,and of course after shoving his journal in his bag, just in case something happen and he need to rant about it--, zitao rushed out slamming the door behind him just a few seconds before his mom yelled at him to wear a thick jacket.

He was too early after all. The first class would begin in another 40 minutes so he decided to warm himself up at a cofee shop just one street away from his university block.

The bell on the door chimed when he opened the door. a guy behind the long table looked up from his coffee beans to greet the costumer and smiled at the sight of zitao brushing off thin snow off his hair.

“Good Morning, Luhan.” Zitao greeted, and he was greeted back with a cheery ‘morning’!’ from the other guy. He looked about the tiny shop, some elder and students are inhaling their warm coffee blisfully on the neat circular table. He looked at one table and narrowed his eyes on someone’s familar back. A small chuckle escaped his lips before he could covered it with one palm. Zitao hide away his all knowing smirk and tap at that man’s shoulder.

“Hi Sehun. Getting your morning cafeinne? ”

“Oh” The guy looked up to Zitao’s smiling face.  His surprised face turned sour in split seconds before he stared at his empty cofee mug again. “ Uh, hi. ” the forced cheerful tone was not successful to fool anyone as Zitao still recognized clearly how Sehun didn’t look too happy to meet him this morning.

At that moment Luhan come approaching them with a coffee refill and gave sehun a smile while pouring in his refill. “You’re friends with sehun too?” luhan asked Zitao with a sunny smile. But sehun shook his head frantically. “No..no..” he blurted out, “ah, I mean, kind of?” He gave zitao a piercing glance of annoyance before continuing. “ I know him, he knows me.. just that kind of friend..”  zitao raised his brows at him and luhan just shrugged, not comprehending why Sehun looked so offended to be refered as one of Zitao’s friend.  “Oh, okay then. Anything for you, bro? Is the usual okay?” and Zitao nodded.

“One second, okay.” He then left to prepare zitao’s cup of cofee, leaving him and sehun sitting side by side.

“I see you’re done gathering the courage to ask him out?”

“What--!” Zitao flinched and seeing that Sehun was aware of his screeching, angry voice, before surpressing it to a whisper, nothing less angry than before.

“I haven’t  asked him out..yet!” Sehun pressed his palms on his face, looking so depressed that zitao actually pitied him.

“It’s okay hunnie, take it easy. You never  even dare to be within 3 km radius from this place before, so it’s  a great  progress!”

“oh just shut up, please?  I’m miserable enough without your presence adding up to it..” he begged so pitifully and zitao giggled.

Zitao wiggled his eyebrows when luhan came with his coffee and having a hard time surpresing his laugh when Sehun looked like he’s about to die.  After sipping his coffee rather  in a hurry, (may or may not because Sehun was giving him the look) Zitao left  after giving sehun encouraging pats and a thumb up all while the latter was angrily mouthing “just GO” at him.

I really hope Sehun will do well.  Zitao thought to himself with a grin while he’s walking long paced to the university.

I’ll have to do well also today,  He noted.

Zitao was hoping that kris won’t be skipping class or sick or something.  He had waited all week for today after all.

***