Despite all of Jordan’s reassurances and preparation, Chen hated everything. The flashing lights hurt his corneas; the constant wave of noise made his ears ache; the ading smells made his nose sore. There were more people here than he had ever been accustomed to. This was even worse than the place where Jordan got all of their food. A part of him wanted nothing more to run, to attack (he knew that Jordan would disapprove of that one), to do anything that would get him out of this situation.

    But he didn’t, because Jordan was panicking. He could feel the cold, all-encompassing fear permeate through his link with her the minute she’d pushed through the double doors. Her eyes darted back and forth, seeing nothing but people there to ogle her. He felt how her mind drew blanks, how only anxiety lined her conscious.

    Chen gently placed his hand on her arm, whispering her name as he nudged her back into reality. Jordan met his questioning gaze, glancing around them as he tugged lightly on her sleeve, hoping that she would guide them somewhere safer. He wanted to get them out of there; the flashing lights and shouting near the front were only going to make her anxiety worse. Jordan understood, automatically searching around them to find a way inside.

She eyed the people hovering around the entrance of the venue, all lavishly dressed and posing for pictures. Jordan looped her arm through Chen’s guiding them as quickly as possible through the sea of reporters and cameras. She kept her head high, focusing on Chen’s calm breathing behind her as she pointedly ignored how other attendees glanced and whispered as they walked by. After what seemed like an eternity, they finally found themselves at the farther end of the ballroom, where there were fewer reporters to disturb them.

    It was better - though not by much. Less crowded, there was not as much noise clogging up Chen’s senses and there weren’t as many flashing lights. His nose kept twitching, however, now that the sweat and perfume could no longer diffuse into the open air.

    Next to Chen, Jordan took a deep, shaky breath. She squeezed Chen’s arm for reassurance, taking comfort in the heat that seeped through his suit jacket.

    Had she been in any other circumstance, Jordan might have been stunned at the high vaulted ceilings and the opulence of what the people around her were wearing. She would have gaped at the women whose necks dripped with rubies and diamonds and the men whose cufflinks glittered in the yellow light.

    “Jordan!” She heard a familiar nasal voice call out. She turned to look at Carrothead, who was decked out in a black suit. “Good timing, there are people looking to meet you.” Jordan grimaced in response; she had never dreaded something so much.

    “Smile, Jordan.” Carrothead leaned in to whisper in her ear. “It’ll make your life easier.”

    “I would rather carve my mouth out with a rusty spoon.” She muttered back with a scowl.

    “Jordan,” He said with an exasperated sigh. He moved to face her, bending down slightly to look her directly in the eye. “Every single one of the people that we are about to meet have the power to make your life easier. If you win their favor, they have the power to return you to normal life when all of this is over. But if you piss them off, they also have the power to make your life living hell. So even though I know that the idea of smiling at morally repugnant people disgusts you, do it for your own sake.”

    “Wow, morally repugnant.” Jordan raised an eyebrow. “Pulling out the big-boy words now.” Carrothead rolled his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak again. Jordan cut him off “What happens to Chen? Even if they like me.” Carrothead’s lips flattened into a thin line, a shadow passing over his face.

    “I’m afraid nothing changes for him.” Jordan tried to suppress the quiet roil of anger that rose in her belly.

    “That weakens your argument.” She said through gritted teeth.

    “That’s the truth. We can’t release a werewolf on the public.”

    “What are you talking about? That’s what you’re doing right now.” She heard him release an exasperated sigh.

“Jordan, we don’t have time to argue right now. The Board of Directors is coming and we have to convince them that your particular trial still needs time, otherwise they’re putting Chen right back in that experiment room, and you are ending up back in jail.”

Jordan closed her eyes, despising every aspect of her and Chen’s current situation.

    She didn’t smile, she refused to comply with Carrothead’s orders. Instead, she forced her face into the usual neutral mask. It wasn’t happy; it wasn’t angry; it would have to do.

    Jordan maintained an iron grip on Chen’s arm while they were joined by the rest of the research team. Jordan struggled to maintain her composure as Carrothead led them around the room like a pair of show dogs, surrounded on all sides by the rest of the team. She tried to ignore the eyes that roamed up and down her body, the shivers that raised goosebumps on her arms at their lingering hands. Chen was unphased, keeping a reassuring hand on hers, making sure that she was there. He was on his best behavior, even managing to pull out one or two smiles at a few of the people who approached them for questions.

Remembering Chen’s judge of character, Jordan kept track of his expressions, noting which people he seemed to actively ignore and the people to whom he returned their smiles. Jordan noticed the eyes that followed him around. She noticed how people’s eyes widened in surprise once they learned that the handsome man in the suit was the werewolf that the fuss was about. She didn’t miss how for some men and women alike, their tongues subconsciously flicked out in interest and their eyes feasted on him like wolves themselves.

    Suddenly, a crowd converged on them, a small band of women leaning in to Carrothead.

    “JiYong, you never mentioned that the werewolf was so,” they collectively turned their heads to look at Chen, who was resolutely looking down at the floor, “Striking. If I had known that they looked like that I might have taken a different stance.” Jordan’s skin crawled and she tugged him a bit closer to her.

    “Uh,” Carrothead chuckled nervously, glancing at them. “Yes, we’ve been told to keep werewolf morphology away from a regular audience, so that’s why you’ve never seen one before. Now, if you’ll excuse us.” He led the team away. Jordan and Chen were dragged along by a visibly uncomfortable TOP.

    Jordan’s relief quickly dissipated, however, upon realizing who they were going to meet next. She couldn’t help how her lips immediately fell into a frown, or how her vision flickered red at the edges.

    “President Yang.” Carrothead introduced, his voice audibly tinged with nerves. “This is Chen and,” he cleared his throat “Jordan Chang.”

    Jordan’s memory had not betrayed her. Of course, the man who stood in front of her was stouter than he was years ago, most likely from living well off of the money of exploited lives. But the infinitesimal smirk remained, the glint in his eye that never betrayed his true emotions. Jordan took small pleasure from the fact that she normally stood taller than him, and with her heels on, was even taller.

“Still alive, I see.” The President sneered, voice icy.

“Of course,” Jordan pasted a matching smile on her face. “I would never make it easy for you.” She felt Chen tug on her sleeve, just the slightest sound of a whine reaching her ears. She refused to look away though, eyes fixated on the President who was the cause of all her struggles. “How are you feeling, President Yang?” Her grin widened. “The research you spearheaded is making waves in the industry. Who knew that you would provide the best evidence for the Variant Civil Rights Movement?”

“A fascinating occurrence indeed.” The President said through gritted teeth. “One that-”

“Let’s get a photograph, shall we?” JiYong hastily into the conversation right as a photographer passed by. The photographer’s face lit up at the prospect of an exclusive photo, immediately nodding and beckoning Jordan and the President to move closer together.

“Can you two shake hands, that would be wonderful.” JiYong immediately went to push the two closer to each other. Jordan reluctantly relinquished her hold on Chen to reach out her right hand, glaring as the President did the same. They both pasted smiles on their faces at the beckoning of the photographer, the corners of their mouths twisted in what seemed more like a grimace.

What immediately ensued seemed like a war, Jordan’s fingers ached with how hard the President flexed his fingers, but she equally refused to give in, squeezing her hand as hard as she could. Their knuckles turned white from the exertion and their faces tensed with the effort even as they maintained their forced smiles.

Jordan refused to look away from the President’s face, even as the flash of the camera bulb went off.

“Alright, and one more.” The photographer prattled, seemingly oblivious to the tension that was rapidly filling their immediate area. Once he finished, Jordan released the President’s hand and resisted the strong urge to wipe her hand off on her dress. The President, also eager to move away, promptly moved to another part of the ballroom to chat with other similarly important-looking men.

Jordan tugged JiYong towards her.

“Can we go now?” She muttered in his ear. JiYong glanced around before turning to face her again.

“You can wander, find some food. I need to take Chen to see a few more people.”

Jordan heaved a sigh, before letting Chen go with JiYong. She was loathe to let him go, but she really needed to escape all of the noise. Even as she searched around the room, random people continued to approach her. She kept her head held high but she could only muster thin smiles and formal, vague answers. Jordan could barely remember who they were, there were no names to match with the faces. She vaguely remembered an actress, a dignitary from some far-off country, some philanthropist that she vaguely remembered liking. She glanced around desperately, looking for a face that she recognized, but found no one nearby. The entire team had darted off to different corners of the room. The only one she could immediately spot was Daesung, who was chatting animatedly with a woman dressed in an elegant burgundy gown and a fond smile on his face in a corner across the room. She was glad someone was having a good time.

    Eventually, Jordan found a side hall that was relatively quiet, with few enough people that she had enough space to breathe. It was not completely free of prying eyes, but it was the best that she would find. She immediately leaned back against the wall, letting all of the air out of her lungs. She had done well, Jordan told herself. As far as she could recall, she had not embarrassed herself and she hadn’t embarrassed Chen. It was the best that she could ask for. She continued taking deep breaths, in and out, until she felt the buzzing anxiety in her extremities fade away.

    “Well look at you.” Jordan whipped her head up, at the voice, meeting eyes with an individual she had hoped she never had to meet again.

    It had been ages since she’d seen her innocent face, the innocent face which served only as a skilled facade disguising the monster that lay underneath. That face that had retained its sickening smile even as she ran blades against her skin. That face that kept its smirk even as she willingly revealed all of Jordan’s plans to the president of YG research.

    Jordan did not feel fear. She had a mask of her own.

    “What are you doing here, IU?” Jordan smirked. She straightened up, stepping away from the wall. “Do you still go by that name?”

    “Of course I do, it legitimizes my position here at YG.” IU said pretentiously, swirling a champagne flute in one hand.

    “Your position? Your job?” Jordan couldn’t help but let loose dry laughter. “That’s why you snitched on me? For a job? I forgot how difficult IT jobs were to find in this economy.” She tilted her head with a sardonic smile.

    “Come on Jordan, be reasonable.” IU mirrored her actions. “Did you really think I’d be like you, always working in the dark, never getting any recognition and barely scraping by?” She shook her head. “I can’t do that, Jordan. I’m not that naive. A girl has to make a living. Not everyone had the privileges that you did.”

    “Just scraping by?” Jordan tilted her head with light laughter. “My bank account would say differently.” Her eyes flicked to the bystanders that had started to gather. “As for privilege.” She turned back to IU. “You have a degree in Computer Science, correct? You went to college?”

“I hardly see why that’s relevant.” IU raised an innocent eyebrow. Jordan scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I never went to college, IU. I taught myself how to code after my mother passed.” Jordan chuckled lightly. “I didn’t have any professors, any support, anybody, really. Just myself and a thirst to take down the companies that my parents hated. Privilege?” Jordan smirked. “I guess you could count natural born talent. Which you obviously don’t have, otherwise you would have never snitched on your team.”

Jordan had discovered IU on accident. She had been an up-and-coming hacker who was too impatient for her reputation to build. She’d had barely five jobs under her belt, hardly enough to establish a career within the field. If she had just decided to continue on with the hack, she would have earned nearly 5 million. But she didn’t trust her own abilities; she was self conscious of her own mediocrity. She gave the CEO of YG an ultimatum: give her a job, and she would hand him his greatest opponent on a silver platter, or she would help to take down the entirety of his corporation.

    “Always so dramatic, Jordan. Well I hope you’ve been sitting pretty while I’ve been living nicely with YG.” IU shifted her weight, cockily letting the jewels that lined her wrists clink together as she moved.

    “Did you have fun ‘making a living’ when you cut me open? That was a skill you neglected to put on your resume.” Jordan felt red lines burn under the fabric of her dress.

    “Not many people appreciate the skill set.” IU said wryly, examining the bubbles lining the inside of her champagne flute. “But YG did; it’s what guaranteed me the position.” She sighed with a wistful smile. “If only you had talked, who knows where I’d be right now. But the President made me stop; even he was a little grossed out by the blood.” IU laughed as she took a sip of champagne, the sound sending chills down Jordan’s spine. IU flicked her hair out of her face, “It’s funny, you know, how men say they’re all macho but can’t handle blood at all. It soaked the floor, you know. Apparently you went into shock in the chair, lost almost two liters. They had to fill you back up again on the spot.” IU giggled. “It’s funny how delicate the human body is, isn’t it?”

    “Yeah.” Jordan replied drily. She glanced around, noting the disgusted looks on the bystanders’ faces. “Hilarious. I should have known that you’re a crazy .”

    “If only you said something.” IU ignored her, lost in her own ramblings. “Even one name could have helped me immensely.”

    “You’re the only person who would have leaked any names.” Jordan gritted her teeth.  

    “But just imagine the possibilities!” IU waved her arm in excitement, champagne sloshing precariously. “What if it had been that kid from those stupid Bulletproof boys? What do they call him? Cookie? He’d probably spill out all names if I just pointed a knife at him-”

    Against her will, Jordan felt ice trickle through her veins. Words well up in , words that hurled insults and fury at the devil that stood in front of her. But she couldn’t. Doing so would be like a signpost that signaled that BTS was indeed involved in the hack that brought about her downfall. So she held her tongue, adjusting her face into the neutral shell that she always hid behind.

    “Kids are strong, you know.” Jordan mused, steel lining her voice. “It’s hard to tell where their loyalties lie.”

    “Not really.” IU drained her glass. “Everyone has a breaking point, you know.” She snapped her fingers to signal a waiter, setting her glass down before motioning him to leave her presence. “If knives didn’t work, I might resort to more uncivilized means.” IU smiled. The ice in Jordan’s veins spread, converging from her extremities into her core. Jordan blinked, trying to keep the blackness away from her vision. “I would have taken a  hammer to you if I had the chance, you know.”

    Jordan’s breath shortened, lungs contracting erratically with every breath she took. Suddenly, she couldn’t come up with any words, any sound was caught in . She was stuck, her thoughts were a tangled mess, stuck between wanting to tackle IU to the ground, to punish her for everything she did, and wanting to go back home and curl up in her bed. But she couldn’t voice anything, her nostrils flaring with each panicked breath she took.

    “It was nice seeing you, Jordan.” IU spun on her heel, waving mockingly behind her as she headed back into the main venue. “Have fun with your... dog.” Jordan’s vision tinged red at the words, but still couldn’t summon up any voice to speak.

    Jordan backed into the wall, ignoring the whispers around her, breaths coming out of her chest in short bursts. She slid down, knees to her chest and hands in her hair, completely unaware of anything going on around her. She was stuck in memories, with ropes binding her to a chair, with blood dripping from her skin. Angry screams reverberated in her ears, demanding that she say something say something say somethi-

    “Jordan?” One singular voice cut through everything. Soft, inquiring. She recognized it. She felt Chen’s hand brush her hair from her face, her name being whispered into her ear. She heard his voice but couldn’t respond. She couldn't move.

Jordan felt Chen’s heat crowd closer, felt him press against her, fingers tangling in her hair. Her ear met his chest and for a moment, something registered. His heartbeat thundered once, twice against her ear, slow and steady. Chen guided her hands to his stomach and she felt him breathe. She felt the rise and fall, slowly synchronizing her breathing with his. The warmth emanating through his suit permeated into her skin, warming her numb fingers and reducing the trembling in her limbs.

    When she returned back to herself, she began to notice the murmurs around her, the small crowd that had begun to form at the end of the hallway. TOP. seemed to be making sure people didn’t get too close, while DaeSung was muttering on the phone.

    “Jordan?” She glanced up, meeting Carrothead in the eye. “Can you stand, we’re going to get you home.” Jordan nodded, gripping Chen’s arm tightly to lever herself up. Her calves cramped from crouching for so long, sending pangs up her shins. He wrapped his arm around her waist, bringing the other up to brush his lips against the hand gripping his forearm, before starting to lead them towards the entrance. Jordan took a deep breath before stepping forward, ankles trembling in her heels. She took a minute to take in her surroundings and was immediately inundated with voices.

    “Poor girl, I don’t blame her-”

    “He takes such good care of her-”

    “I don’t remember IU ever being like that though.”

    “Me neither, who knew?”

    “Did you know that’s how she got the position?”

    “No, I wouldn’t hire her-”

    “Did you know he was the werewolf?”

    “No, I couldn’t even tell the difference. I didn’t know they looked like us.”

    Jordan was angry with herself, angry that she had let IU get to her like this. Jordan had tied her emotions down for so long, she couldn’t believe that it only took one encounter to set them free again.

    She dwelled on it, even as bulbs flashed as they made their way out of the hall, even as they stepped into the car, even as it was only Chen and her left in the vehicle. Her own weakness consumed her.

    She flinched at the feeling of calloused fingers against her neck. Jordan glanced at Chen, who sat, staring at her in concern. With a sigh, Jordan indulged herself and leaned her head against his shoulder, allowing herself a minute of peace. She thought she felt the ghost of his lips against her hair, but she wasn’t sure, she only stared down at the carpet of the car, zoning out.

    It was only when they got to the house did her attention revert back to their current situation, reaching over to Chen to dig the house key out of his suit pocket. Offhandedly, she wondered if they would have to return the suit and dress. After thanking the driver - and telling Chen to thank him too - they walked up to the front porch. They both visibly relaxed at the familiar sight, Chen nearly bounding up to the door. Jordan chuckled sardonically to herself. She never thought that she would see a day that Chen would be eager to go inside.

    After letting them in, Jordan immediately set about getting Chen out of the suit - it seemed a shame to let him tear it apart - and hanging it up on his door. He wriggled his shoulders happily once the suit jacket came off, rolling them forwards and backwards with the newfound freedom. Jordan gently undid the bowtie and giggled when Chen immediately snatched it from her grip to chuck it into the opposite corner of the room. She didn’t really feel bad for that one. Jordan tugged the dress shirt from his pants, ready to start with the buttons. She hesitated as her hands reached for the top button of the dress shirt. It seemed too intimate, but it felt weird to stop.

    Despite the alarms blaring in her head telling her to stop, Jordan began undoing the buttons, revealing Chen’s tanned skin inch by inch. It was as she approached his waistband that her hands stilled, suddenly aware of what position she was in. Chen gave a questioning whine at her pause. Jordan tilted her head to glance at him scanning his expression. The questioning was still there, but she could still see it. She could see the concern there, in the slight quirk of his eyebrows. Jordan knew that he had questions about what happened earlier, no doubt felt her inner turmoil.

    With a sigh, Jordan let her head tip forward to rest her brow against Chen’s, fingers curling into his shirt. She didn’t him to know, she just needed him there. She tilted her head up ever so slightly, letting her lips brush against his. He responded, cupping her cheek in one hand. When he pulled away, Jordan gave him a small smile, quickly ing the rest of his shirt and tapping his leg to tell him to finish the rest.

    She headed towards her own room, ready to shed her armor for the night. She shed the dress, and slipped on a cotton t-shirt and some shorts. She stared at the black heap lying limp on the floor, before sighing and picking it up to put onto its hanger and back into the garment bag. The bathroom was next, where Jordan spent a few minutes scrubbing at her face, removing the mask of makeup she had worn for the night. It was as she wiped her face with her washcloth that she felt Chen’s arms slide around her waist. She could feel his nose against the back of her neck, the small puffs of his breath against her skin. She glanced at him, setting the cloth down to hold onto his forearms. She smiled, reaching out with one hand to ruffle his hair.

    “Bed, Chen.” She murmured. They waddle-walked over to the bed - Chen refused to let go.

    After they flopped down, Chen gently pulled until she was pressed flush against him, puffing a content sigh into her hair. He draped one arm on her waist, tracing circles into her skin with calloused fingertips. Jordan burrowed closer and tucked her head under his chin, reveling in the heat that surrounded her. She closed her eyes, letting IU fade away, focusing only on the feeling of skin against hers, and the fingers on her waist going round and around and around.

    She listened as each breath he took filled his lungs. Her hair quivered with the small galestorm of each exhale. Her lips tingled as she felt his pulse under his skin. She breathed in his smell of pine, letting it permeate into her mind, keeping all thoughts of the gala - and IU - at bay.

    For tonight, at least, she would be fine.

***

Hello all, 

I'm sorry for the lack of updates, I was super swamped with work this semester, but I have a goal for this break and next semester (which isn't as busy) to write every day, so hopefully writing will come a bit easier. As usual, thank you to Shooka24 for beta'ing this chapter. 

As for upvotes, thank you to: widebluesky, Owlrose, cindyflowers08, Windeby, SONE-XOTIC, Poutyfacezico, matogalaxyV, Gundammaniac101, nyamnyamnyam, bludger, Heartofdiamond1300, Meggiemooautumn, LILYpayne121, jxnghxn, Equilibrium, Jhilmilp, taengosica, deathbyanime, HannaaahJ, Call-me-Saru-chan, awesomelydorkey986, Irnbru121, syaza_tasmin, NV_Mind, dyomochi, luv_kero, SarangRae, xCanaxCherry, and bunny-peach. Thank you guys so much for the support, I really appreciate you! 

Your comments have kept me going these past couple of months; I read all of them. I'm sort of overcoming my shyness and replying to a few, hopefully I'll reach a point where I can respond to everyone. But please comment, they make my day! 

I know that with recent events, many of you are healing. Jonghyun had my greatest respect, and I know that he'll be spreading his voice to the new voices that he reaches now. I'm very shy on this site, but I do want you all know that if you need a willing ear, feel free to private message me and I can try to assist you in any way that I can. You're not alone; always make sure to speak to the people that you trust about the struggles that you are going through. If you would like me to be that person, I log on to this site every day so I can get back to you quickly.

***

Message from Shooka24: 

Hey everyone, like Calliope11, I just wanted to reach out to everyone and let you know that I'm here for you as well. Especially with this chapter which displays symptoms of PTSD and can be triggering for people, please find and reach out to your support system.

SHINee was one of the original groups that got me interested in K-pop and it was really hard for me to believe the news. It took me some time, and even know it still seems unreal. Unfortunately, depression is more commonplace than many people think and making it seem like a taboo topic in society just makes it worse. Jonghyun's voice will continue to reach many individuals. I just want everyone to know that if you ever want to talk, I am here for you.